Cereal killer
Between the ages of 12 and 16, I just couldn't eat enough. Living in Aberdeen, there was fuck all to do, since the only form of entertainment is going to the pub. So I rode up hill and down mountain on my trusty bike – all day, every day – working up quite an appetite.

Returning from a day's riding, I felt a bit peckish. The kitchen offered little but cereal (I'd probably eaten all the food the previous day), so I sat down for a bowl of weetabix.

Four of the lovely crunchy devils passed my lips in mere moments, so I retuned to the packet and popped another four into the bowl, along with the last half of the pint of milk I'd opened to lube those wheaty temptresses. I was still starving, so I whacked the last six from the packet into a mixing bowl and sloshed another half a pint of milk over their crunchy, curvaceous forms.

Only when I tried to move from the table did I realise that I'd just put pay to 14 weetabix in less than 20 mins. I don't recall the rest of the evening, but I do remember that the next morning, the resultant poo filled the bowl completely, and the last inch stuck up above the waterline.

Length? Ooh, I'd say at least a foot and a half.
(SimianKid internet faffer, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:09, 8 replies)

that's not greed it's a marvel.
14 bix poo must be a thing of wonder.
(waxdart hello., Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:26, closed)

14 bix poo
Best of all the Radiohead albums.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:32, closed)

Mmmmm. Roughage.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:11, closed)

well done
would have been the champion on ratemypoo
( zulu eh?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:21, closed)

Sadly
This was years before cameraphones.
(SimianKid internet faffer, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:35, closed)

I polished off
several burgers and sausages on Sunday from a barbecue the day before. I've finally been to toilet today. It was so sturdy it's made my bum feel funny.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 14:38, closed)

Weetabix does bad things to me
I think 14 of them would result in a ceaseless torrent of gravy.
( evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 15:27, closed)

dear god the smell the smell

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:48, closed)