I've said this before but
sooooooo much pleasure can be derived from:

1. Arriving at petrol station forecourt.
2. Notice drivers queuing for a pump on the side of their car where the petrol cap is.
3. Driving deliberately to a pump on the 'wrong side'.
4. Quick glance at still waiting drivers.
5. Effortlessly filling up by walking round back of car with petrol nozzle.
5. Paying, getting back to car, quick glance at still waiting drivers and subtly shaking head and mouthing "wanker" as I get back in the car.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 13:32, 11 replies)

The other side of the pump
Beware...

BP pumps have a special fuel cut off valve that is there to prevent drivers from doing exactly this. Pull the fuel hose slightly too far (ie try and stretch the bugger over your roof) and no petrol will issue forth from the nozzle.

I now boycott BP
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 13 Mar 2008, 13:34, closed)

BP
Usually if you park close enough to the pump, such that the back of your car is level with the nozzle, there's enough hose to reach your filler easily.

I tend to buy Shell anyway. Because the filling station is more convenient and it's cheaper than BP.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 13:36, closed)

BP pump-cuntness
Just to bring that little bit more misery to the motorist I think.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 13 Mar 2008, 13:39, closed)

Im one of thsoe that would wait.
I dont know why, but I just dont like using pumps at the wrong side of the car. But what I do love is in Spain they still have some pumps with the hands free operation. You can flick the tab on the trigger and walk off from your car and it still pumps the fuel in. Ahh its fun :) What I do hate is bloody pre-pay when i wanna brim the tank!
(Miggyman, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 14:08, closed)

this is one of my guilty pleasures too
it gets annoying though when there is a queue of retards who are waiting to go to a pump on the "right" side blocking your access to the "wrong" side pumps

when this happens, as soon as there is an opening I cane it past them and smugly fill up
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 14:11, closed)

hands-free pumping
miggyman, get a small split-pin - cant remember what size - and keep it on your keyring. If you look at most pump nozzles, there are a couple of holes on the trigger guard. Pull the trigger and fit your split-pin into one of the holes and the pump will run by itself until the tank is full, then it will click off. Happy days.

Well, It would be if my pissy vectra`s fuel filler wasnt so constricted that I have to dribble the petrol in at a depressingly slow rate to avoid it clicking off all the time.
(dave likes cheese, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 21:03, closed)

Better still is
doing a quick three point turn alongside the queue if the muppets have left enough space, reversing up the side of it and stopping - backwards - at the pumps so your filler's on the correct side. After paying you then have the fun of reversing back off the pump and finding somewhere else to do another three point turn before leaving the forecourt.

Some would call it jumping the queue; I call getting things moving...
(dxg, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 23:30, closed)

My Sunday afternoon car...
...is an old 4.2l Series 2 Jag. It is joyful to stop in the middle of an old-style forecourt (not one of these fucking huge new places with 50 ft between pumps) and stretch a nozzle from each side into the twin fuel tanks, especially because no-one can get by to the pump in front on either side.

It's not so joyful paying for the fucking stuff, and alas, I have NEVER had the balls (or cash) to fill each tank to the brim.

One day, when we invade Iraq, petrol will be free for all as spoils of war.......erm, hang on.
(Rsoles, Sat 15 Mar 2008, 17:59, closed)