I
was eating a baby octopus / squid thingy and it's ass end exploded in my mouth and filled my mouth with something liquidy stuff which made me honk all over the table I was eating at.!!. I therefore hate the octopus / squid thingy.
(chossy, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 13:32, Reply)

Bon bons
Start off nice, then end up tasting like cowpats. Not that I've eaten cowpats, but they taste like the smell of them.

And anchovies. Yuck.
(JamScones, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 13:30, Reply)

fucking twiglets
Twiglets are not a food - they are a building material.
Weetabix is not a food - it is a sandal without straps.
Avacados are not food - they are nature's puss filled plooks.
Boiled Rice - just pure, no-taste-pish.
(Chillumm, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 13:29, Reply)

Cheap Sausages!
Fucking horrible phallic little lumps of mush that germans and polish turn their noses up or simply call bread.

A good bratwurst or a proper sausage is all you need.
(Finn_coyote, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 13:28, Reply)

Maroilles
It's a French cheese. It smells like dog shit and it tastes as it smells. Don't try it. Ever.

Fucking awful stuff -don't try it. I used to sell the stuff, actually I always used to put people off the shit-wafting stuff.
(CdrVimes, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 13:28, Reply)

Peas!!!!!
Without a doubt it would be peas. I absolutely gag on them, and my throat refuses to swallow one.

I think it is mainly psychologic, as my mother once made it rather her own personal goal to MAKE me eat them, nearly starving me till my father stepped in and made her stop.

Pity me, poor little traumatized thing I am.
( faithy, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 13:27, Reply)

Sprouts Really Are EVIL...
...so, if your nasty mother says to you: "Eat your sprouts, they're only baby cabbages."

Save time and years of future sprout related projectile vomiting by immediately stabbing her with your fork! (honestly, you'll get off - they'll see it's justifiable homicide.)
(SproutsAreEvil, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 13:25, Reply)

as a boy in the park....
Me and some mates where playing football using out jumpers for goalposts, and this old geezer walks up muttering something about "feck and arse" and flung a bottle of "squeezy cheezy-peas" at us. Which was nice.
Infact, he looked rather like our lord Jesus Christ who died on the cross for our sins.

one fo the lads kept screaming "brilliant" about it, but then he fell over. Fantastic.

Anyway, This week I are mostly bin eatin' Squeezy cheesy Peas.

Tasted like bloody rubbish.

certainly beat the pie and mash we had at the garden party that afternoon.

It's a good job we weren't drunk.

But we are from the isle of man... so I guess it doesn't matter.

oh... sorry, correction... we were verry, verry drunk.

Bugger.

No apologies for length... this thread's really gonne need some padding to get near any of the other Questions Of The Week in Page-Counts.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Mon 12 Jul 2004, 13:21, Reply)

Brains...
Cauliflower. Ever since I was old enough to know that eating brains was not part of a healthy diet I have puked myself inside out every time I have eaten cauliflower. Food of the devil, undoubtedly.
(monkeyboys like monkeygirls, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 13:20, Reply)

Celery
Celery celery fucking celery.

"You burn up more calories eating it than it contains you know!!" cry malnourished idiots through mouthful of stringy pulp. It's alien 'ribbed' textured holds a weak, yet strangely overbearing, uriney flavour that ruins anything it encounters.

"But it's great for eating peanut butter or cream cheese with!" - So it's a spoon?

Only, it isn't a spoon is it...? Spoons can be used over and over again, in fact, they're great. The reason they aren't in this instance is that spoons don't mask the fact that your shovelling pounds of cheese/dip/fat into your massive, frightening face - oh no, you're just eating some celery. You bastard.
( moonjam, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 13:18, Reply)

vegetables
ew, ick ick ick, i 'ates 'em i does. wossa point. just gimme crisps and pizza and shit like innit.

/pikey
( frunt It's been a while..., Mon 12 Jul 2004, 13:14, Reply)

mussels
probably the most vile thing any human has ever forced themslves to eat.

How can ANYONE eat mussels?
They feckin' ming: they honk: they REEK: they smell like festering diarrhoea crossed with the foul, pungent stench of the putrid ocean. I shall stop now as I feel sick.
( madrabbi, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 13:12, Reply)

Boiled Eggs
Anything that smells like a sewage farm should not be inserted into the mouth IMHO...
(damndirtyape, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 13:11, Reply)

That awful grey cardboard slabby
thing made out of steamed gristle, rancid lard, processed orange plasto-cheese and lots of chemicals to hide the whatever taste might be there, called a MacDonalds Burger. It should be banned by the Geneva convention under every category that they have.

Retch retch retch.

[edit] Sorry, I've just realised you restricted the question to food. A MacDonalds burger doesn't fall under the category of food.
(Cousin It, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 13:11, Reply)

The filth that is...
'All Day Breakfast' in a tin.

A poor excuse for food and in no way a substitute for a proper fry-up.

I don't know how the bods at Heinz can hold their heads high after hoisting this pile of shite onto us.
(bob n bev, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 13:10, Reply)

corriander supporter
no, not like that ... corriander SUX, but I agree in the "this is a bit pants as far as questions go"...

"my wanking disasters" was great.

can we have it again? can we? can we?
are we nearly there yet??


innit.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Mon 12 Jul 2004, 13:08, Reply)

coriander
errr, coriander

This is a crap question of the week! What happened to questions like 'Most severe kicking you've received from a dwarf?'?
(Fully Goyle what?, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 13:04, Reply)

Mushrooms and English Cockney cuisine
Mushrooms are evil fungus shit that grows from things rotting. I saw a hotdog that must have been 5 years old on top of a roof and it had this massive manky mushroom growing out of it. They should ban the evil things.

Next English Cockney cuisine:

Jellied Eeels, Black Pudding, Cockels, Whelks I am actually almost puking typing the disgusting items. How anyone can eat that shit and enjoy it is beyond me. Fucking pikeys.
(manny fagnet, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 13:00, Reply)

Turkish Delight
Looks and tastes exactly like the brains of old ladies, slaughtered in their beds by axe-wielding care-in-the-community lunatics, mixed with elephant dung bought by the truck-load from London Zoo, because IT IS.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 12:59, Reply)

can't stand dark chocolate or coffee
it's the bitterness. Mrs Badger keeps trying to convince me it's just cos I haven't tried good enough coffee/chocolate yet. Daft cow.

But celery and sprouts, being this QotW "ice cream vans/no music/run out" I have to agree with.

Best reciepe for Celery:

1) heat olive oil in wok
2) add finely chopped garlic, shallot and green chili
3) after a couple of minutes tip in 3 heads chopped celery
4) turn up heat
5) pour over half a pint of cheap brandy, ignite and flambe to a crisp
6) throw away. order proper food, like pizza.

sorry* for length

*I'm not really
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 12:56, Reply)

Fetid Foodstuffs
Anchovies and Capers.

Im mentally scarred after being at this girls house years ago and her mum rocks up and offers to make me some lunch. "Is pizza ok?" she asks..."Sure" i reply.....20 minutes later she serves me up a pizza with the sole toppings of anchovies and capers??! I mean WTF!! Perhaps she was trying to curtail any relationship that may have spawned between me and her daughter. It certainly worked, i mean if you can screw up a pizza that badly, just imagine christmas lunch!

Parma Violets

Watch out kids....its like eating you nans perfume compressed into sweet form.

Organs

If it has a function, i don't want to eat it.

Marmite

How can something so fowl come from something so good like beer?

Biltong

I swear that next time one of our resident South Africans sticks another sweaty carrier bag full of this rancid shit under my nose i am going down for a 5-10 strech at her majesties pleasure.
(wozza_c, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 12:56, Reply)

Another vote for Brussel Sprouts
Texture of a wet sock, taste like boiled hairspray, they contaminate everything else on the plate that they touch.

My mother is still convinced she'll find a way to cook them that will convert me. Covered in chocolate and wrapped in a tenner wouldn't be temptation enough.

Who the hell first grew one and thought "Ooh that looks like it'll be good to eat"?

Oh: they also look like shrunken boiled zombie heads!
(treehugger anti-everything, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 12:52, Reply)

Without mentioning all of the above...
and below, plus meat because I'm a pale and whining veggie, don't come near me with fresh salad, beef or any other type of tomatoe!!
(DirtyChurch, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 12:49, Reply)

Seafood extender
The fellow down shop reckons it's really just raw tripe in a sauce. Not having tried tripe* I can but agree with him.

* er, black sausage isn't that bad actually. Does that count as tripe?
( Udderbelly A tale of four titties, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 12:48, Reply)

Another one that has to stand out on its own....
Salad cream.

It is semen, mixed with piss, mixed with seagull shit, mixed with pus.
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 12:47, Reply)

heres a nice one
i recently had a very bad cough, i would rench so hard i threw up several times, one time however, this happened and i wheezed right after causing me to swallow my own vomit instantly, now that was nice

pitty that cough wasnt contagous
(fadge, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 12:46, Reply)

Ick.
Well, after me and my wife taking it in turns to hold our 4 year old son over the toilet cacking out sticky pink lumps through his mouth this weekend, I think i'm going to have to say Candy Floss. For a while at least anyway.

Raw celery I hate. Cooked celery I can cope with.

Brown sauce is just diarrhoea with added vinegar. Wrong, wrong, WRONG, wrong, Wrong.
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 12:45, Reply)

Mushrooms....
vile, gross, evil little fungi b*stards.

...and what's with the little bits of hair underneath the tops of them?
Ugggghhh.
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 12:41, Reply)

gravy one problem, sunday dinner is mind-numbingly bland with out it, oh well
have you ever seen gravy cold, its like congealed horse shit, if you want that festering in your stomach be my guest
(fadge, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 12:40, Reply)

Right...
I hate tomatoes, but love tomato ketchup, even though it contains vinegar which on its own I hate. I loathe peas and sweetcorn with a vengeance. Baked beans make me vomit. Giving me a Brussel sprout is akin to giving me poison. Green, yellow and red peppers are pure evil. Fried onions are not fit for human consumption. Chips that are not from a fish and chip shop are only good for one thing - Table Olympics. Beetroot should be banned under several human rights laws. Finally, whoever thought that Tartare Sauce was an interesting and tasty condiment should be shot. Several times.

Anyone known the number of a good psychologist?
( Chrico is a bounder and a cad, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 12:31, Reply)