#4 Shameless Pearoast


All Cocks are Rapists!

Some of you may be aware that one of the reasons I’m called Chickenlady is because I used to live on a farm and have pet chickens. My chickens were a great source of amusement and also education….

I have twin boys who are now 9 10, but when they were a few years younger I got hold of some fertile eggs because one of my hens (Ethel) was broody. She duly sat on them and produced four cockerels and only two hens. The chicks were lovely but within a few weeks the young cocks had become just that and were harassing all of the hens…several times a day to the point that the favoured hens had no feathers on the tops of their heads and many of them had now got bloody scabs from the over enthusiastic males holding them with their beaks.

When your young children have seen hens being given a good seeing to on a regular basis sex education is pretty easy, or so I’d thought. The following conversation is etched on my memory…

Son #1 “Mummy, what is Hector [Hector was the biggest cockerel and therefore it was his house...] doing to all the hens?”

Me “He wants to give them chicks”

The kids were already well aware that hens lay eggs regardless of whether there’s a cockerel about or not (some adults are unaware of this, and more than once I’ve heard an egg referred to as a ‘Chicken abortion’ erm….no it’s unfertilised…and will never ever become a chick, you idiot).

Son #1“But how?”

Me“Ah…well….you know how you have a winkle?”

He nods, interested now (typical male…any mention of genitalia and they’re all ears…as it were…)

Me“Well…Hector has one too”

Son #1“Where?”

Me“Under his feathers. Anyway, he jumps on the hen’s back and he puts his winkle into the hen”

Son #1“Where?”

Me“Erm…where the eggs come out”

Son #1“UP HER BUM!!??”

Me“Yes…but it’s called a Vent in chickens”
(Can you tell I used to be a primary school teacher?)

*Boy thinks*

Son #1“Mummy….”

Me“Yes darling?”

Son #1 “Is that how people get babies?”

Me“Pretty much, yes, but they always ask first and they always should like each other a lot”

Son #1“So…Daddy…and you…..”

Me“Yes”

Boy looks slightly shocked…

Me“It’s alright you know, when you get older you’ll understand that it’s okay and nice too.”

Boy begins to cry…

Son #1“But Mummy….I’ll never be able to do that!”

At that point I’m afraid I had to stifle my giggles, gave him a hug, told him it would be okay, he *would* be able to do it and would want to do it, then I sent him outside to play.

Ten minutes later I went out to see what the kids were up to….and I see my son chasing the cockerel around the garden shouting at him, “You git! You didn’t ask her if she wanted chicks! Leave her alone!”
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 13:28, 6 replies)

Yes!
From henceforth my vagina will be know as my vent and only the biggest cock will be able to approach me *laughs*
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 13:40, closed)

I liked this story last time
It's just as good the second time
*clicks*
( Cawl, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 13:45, closed)

If the b3ta gods
and everyone else can recycle...so can I!

:)
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 13:49, closed)

Recycling saves the planet
*rolls eyes*

*goes back to printing a 523-page document*
( Cawl, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 13:52, closed)

*click*
Ha ha, Bless.

There is some value to repeats. Being fairly new, I have never had the pleasure of this fine yarn before.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 13:54, closed)

I love it "click"
Got pecked by a cockeral once myself so I have sympathy for the hens!
(Mediaslut, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 15:05, closed)