Watch Out For The Big Man - He's Watching You....
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I must have been about ten or eleven when this happened.

My dad had made an enormous batch of home-brew and it was all sitting in the pantry. (yes, our council house had a pantry. Kids, ask your parents what the were...) So I decided to filch some.

30 minutes later, me and a mate, Danny, were sitting in the local graveyard (well it was the nearest quiet place where we weren't likely to be caught) swigging my dads home brew.

Well this didn't go very well. I'd never drank before and this stuff was rocket fuel. I got very pissed, very quickly, and I had no idea why I felt so terrible. My head was spinning, I felt sick - I was going home. So I picked up my bike, got on it and powered for home.

5 seconds later the front wheel fell off my bike. I went arse-over-tit into a gravestone and freaked-out, big style. In my drunken state I was convinced that GOD had looked down from Heaven and saw me drinking STOLEN BEER, and, to make it worse, on hallowed ground, and had reached down with his invisible, magic finger and made my front wheel fall off.

I legged it for home, howling like a banshee, convinced that God and all his Angles were coming to punish me, and collapsed in a drunken hysterical mess at home....

Oddly enough I didn't get into the slightest bit of trouble. I think mum thought I'd been punished enough and Dad never knew.

It was three years before I had the courage to drink again.

Cheers,
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 13:02, 2 replies)

I know it was just a typo
but I just love the idea of God punishing you with his Angles.

So many possibilities...
(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 17:00, closed)

Arse!
Bloody spell-cheker
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 0:35, closed)