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This is a question Lurid Work Stories

"I know a railwayman of 40-odd years' service," says Juan Quar, "and he tells me a new gruesome yarn each time we meet. Last week's was of checking the time on the wristwatch of a severed arm he'd just collected after a track fatality."

Tell us the horrible stories you tease the new hires with, or that you've been told.
NB By definition, these are probably all made up. Roll with it

(, Thu 5 Sep 2013, 17:33)
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I'm glad I don't have a shit job where I need to turn up and pretend to work.
That must be fucking depressing.
(, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 14:37, 4 replies)
Are you that tedious that your colleagues welcome your absence?

(, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 16:09, closed)
What job do you have?

(, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 16:40, closed)
One where I'm paid for results rather than making myself visible in an office chair.

(, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 16:48, closed)

results the number of posts I make on b3ta
(, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 16:52, closed)
I'm only paid when people respond.
Ker-ching!
(, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 17:08, closed)
Lend us a tenner?

(, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 20:29, closed)
Ker-ching!

(, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 22:19, closed)
Twenty?

(, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 22:25, closed)
It is

(, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 16:42, closed)
*meaningful and productive job fives*

(, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 19:20, closed)
*job well done fist bumps*

(, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 22:19, closed)

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