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This is a question Not having sex

Our pal Freddie Woo says: Climbing into the back seat of the car, she sat on a fortnight-old bag of food shopping I had completely forgotten about. The stench of a bag of bean sprouts popping open is a real passion-killer, I can tell you for nothing. Tell us about the shag you didn't have because you blew it.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 14:01)
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I went to see a friend's band last night
I fancied their drummer. She did not fancy me.

FIN
(, Sat 24 May 2014, 11:17, 14 replies)
George! We know this is you
It's ok. It really is. You don't have to manufacture a pretend world where you're a sexy hybrid of Hugh Hefner, Peter Stringfellow and Dean Gaffney.

It will all work out in the end. Someone will love you for you.

Put the book down.
(, Sat 24 May 2014, 11:27, closed)
Cheers love
Whatever all that was about.
(, Sat 24 May 2014, 11:48, closed)
none of those are attractive

(, Sun 25 May 2014, 14:36, closed)
Attractive? No
Charming? No
Charismatic? No

Leathery, obnoxious and fuckwitted? Yes.


Get your hands out of your minge.
(, Sun 25 May 2014, 18:28, closed)
it's called a muff

(, Sun 25 May 2014, 21:08, closed)
Can I.....
.... See it?
(, Sun 25 May 2014, 21:12, closed)
can you travel back in time to victorian london?

(, Mon 26 May 2014, 12:51, closed)
To my knowledge I've never had sex with a drummer.
I wonder if they can wank you off and thumb your arse to two different rhythms.
(, Sat 24 May 2014, 11:54, closed)
Some of them play too many fills.

(, Sat 24 May 2014, 12:01, closed)
Every drummer has an erotic polyrhythm in reserve when they're in the sack.

(, Sat 24 May 2014, 12:09, closed)
Sheila E put out an album entitled "Sex Cymbal".
I realise this doesn't answer your question.
(, Sat 24 May 2014, 12:34, closed)
I would definitely have allowed Sheila E to stick her thumb up my bottom.
I realise this answers a question you didn't ask.
(, Sat 24 May 2014, 13:54, closed)
Don't be silly, girls don't play drums.

(, Sat 24 May 2014, 18:43, closed)
Very true
I don't know what I was thinking.
(, Sat 24 May 2014, 23:25, closed)

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