Non shed related new thread.
What was the first computer game you bought? Mine was Blue Ice, and it was as total bugger toplay. Apparently, there was no "fixed" ending, as they were meant to have a competition, with cash prizes.
Alt, the most you've ever won on a bet?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 9 Jul 2012, 14:46, 42 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

If you were to start your own cult, how would you recruit people? What rules would you have?
What would be the founding principles?

Alt: I am hoping you have choked to death when having your lunch, so no mention of your meal thanks, instead tell me of your shed memories.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 9 Jul 2012, 13:19, 170 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'm expressin' with my full capabilities, And now I'm livin' in correctional facilities,
How do you "express" yourself? Do you do art, music, build sheds, make your own sausages?

alt: I went for a very expensive and yet very average meal on saturday, what is over rated and over priced?

altalt: why don't you pull your fist out of your arse and fuck off?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Jul 2012, 12:14, 105 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

So.....sausages, eh? I mean, do wot, turn it up, eh?
According to some flid on the internet, the health risks of loneliness are comparable to that of smoking and worse than those of obesity. Surely that's bollocks. How many people do you know who've had heart attacks or lungs removed because they haven't got any friends?

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-18737560

If it's true, you losers are all gon' dahhh real soon. Are you scared?

Alt: Cock-ends
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Jul 2012, 10:21, 214 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Good Morning
Did you have a nice weekend?

What this this week likely to hold in store?

Alt. Your last weekend away.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 9 Jul 2012, 7:53, 153 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

alright nonceburgers?
As requested, New thread. If you could be in any band who released their best album in 1997, which would it be?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 21:59, 77 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Well The Ingurrland is no good at football, and the Scottish Bloke is no good at tennis.
If England - the real England - win at Old Trafford on Tuesday we are officially best in the world at Cricket in long and short forms and THAT'S A FACT.

Gimmee more dubious, unsubstantiated facts.

eg - Did you know that Bernard Breslaw was assassinated by the CIA?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 19:42, 43 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'm in a pub in York
The mrs has gone to look at handbags and left me watching the tennis. I've already identified all of Dozers favourite pubs though I've yet to actually go into one yet. They all look like decent boozers, so I'll state this on the record "Dozer has good taste in drinking establishments, even if his musical taste is questionable."

I've yet to see a really angry scottish man who wants to stab me, but there is still another day to go.

Can Andy really do it?
(Bazongaloid, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 15:45, 34 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

C'MON TIM!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 11:49, 35 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Anyone there?

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Sat 7 Jul 2012, 18:54, 31 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Morning
My head is killing me. I went up to the roof for a last cigarette just before 2 and ended up chatting for an hour to a guy with some very strong "special tobacco". Almost threw a whitey at one point.

Now I have a Frijj Fudge Brownie Milkshake and when I finish that I'm off down the road to the cafe for a Full English. I'm sure after that I'll be JUST FINE. Later on I'm probably going to go for a walk and do tourist-y stuff.

How about you?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 7 Jul 2012, 11:44, 22 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

WAY TO SERIOUS
It's friday night, who would win in a fight......Make your own fight like..

Princess peach vs zelda, frank skinner vs the nolans, gok wan vs graham norton.

Let your hair down and be a b3tan. Lets get all stupid again like we did last summer.

Alt. three random words
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 20:49, 66 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

What's the next big thing?
(other than your imaginary cock)

alt: DANCE, MY MONKEYS, DANCE!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 18:29, 70 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

If you were Monty.
Put yourself in Monty's shoes. Yes that's right, his limited edition retro trainers.

What would you do with your day?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 18:28, 10 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Bored of that shit
What should I pick up from Waitrose on the way home for dinner tonight.
Don't say sausages, or mince.

Also this is quite funny www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2012/jul/06/worlds-rudest-chef
(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:23, 121 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Vile but vaguely attractive tory totty, Louise Mensch regrets her MASSIVE DRUGS
And Ken "Jazzman" Clarke has declared that the war on drugs is being lost.
What do you regret? What inanimate objects should we declare war on next?

Alt: What is the best pen for writing on sausages?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:37, 114 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

why are there never any pens?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:09, 223 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hey everyone
It's really wet, but then John Farnhams "You're the Voice" came on the radio as I pulled back into the office so all is well again.

Why are you okay?

I bought a GPS watch the other day, it's brilliant.

What have you recently purchased that has improved your life?

I'm off to York this weekend.

What have you recently done or are soon to do that will be fun?

I'm running a half marathon the weekend after next.

When are you next moving your fat lazy arse to do some exercise?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:21, 189 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Morning, gaybos.
Friday is here, huzzah.

Tell the mongol hordes of your day's and weekend's plans.

Beaker: I have this morning made what I fear to be a spectacular error. Following a barrage of hostile and judgemental texts from my ex I flipped ever so slightly, and have told her that until my daughter is staying at mine for one night a month, tonight will be the last time I stay overnight at hers to give her a night off. If this bluff fails I shall miss out on being woken up by my little girl once a week (one of the greatest joys of my life) for the forseeable future - I am scred shitless.

Alt: Come on Tim!!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 8:22, 184 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

This whole 'lovelyping' shite has overtones of 'Home Sweet Home'. Discuss.
Alt: fuck off.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 20:53, 57 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

What gig did you never go to and you still regret?

alt: If you could have been at any musical event in history what would it have been and why?

altalt: If you was MOD for the week how would you effect b3ta (all MOD powers to be revoked after one week and harm undone)?

Altaltalt: Can someone put a vote thingy here so we can all let Cavy realise she is lovelyping
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 18:30, 73 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

i'm going to see a good band tonight
in laaahndon.
what's the last band you saw that surprised you?

alt: when did you last turn up to work with sod-all sleep, still drunk, and have a horrible sweaty mare of a day? i'll answer this in about 17 hours time.

altalt: give me your best response to the time honoured neanderthal chatup line/ weak preamble to fisticuffs'what are you looking at?'
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:22, 108 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Which age of your life would you choose to be a werewolf? Michael J Fox got saddled with the teenage years
Who would you choose to savage and be haunted by until you die?

Surely getting to fuck Jenny Agutter is worth it, no?

Alt: Have you ever gone way over your lunch break without noticing? What excuse did you give your boss?

Altalt: Which five users say "OT" to you?
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:18, 34 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

New thread.
I'm in hospital getting some stuff pumped into me, got any hospital tales?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 14:52, 199 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Right, new thread time
"Team Building". These words strike fear into my heart. Yesterday we had our staff conference. The highlight of this was an afternoon outside learning circus activities - stilt walking, tightrope walking, clowning, unicycles, etc. After spending an hour or so doing this, you then had a 5 minute performance to give to the rest of the company. Fortunately I was covering support and missed this, though I was able to watch our CTO dressed as a lion being whipped by our receptionist.

What the utter fuck?

What is the best/worst thing you've had to do in your job?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 13:27, 186 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Are there any songs that've made you cry?
Either due to their emotional power or because it reminds you of the time Smelly Becky let you finger her behind the sports hall and the Dallas moved into your digit path and guided them around the Red October and into Stellan's chocolate starfish and that song was playing on the radio?

Alt: Best thing you ever got in a kinder egg

Altalt: You've got a pint glass and the choice of anything to fill it before the end of the world or some shit, what do you fill it with?
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 11:25, 160 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

1. Why do Italian words sounds so great in a Geordie accent?
2. Who's 'way cool'? I vote for 'Dog the Bounty Hunter'
3. Something about sausages
4. Did you see they found a torso in a bin bag on a south coast beach? Cooool.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 11:21, 58 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Newsss
So the M6 toll has been shut by armed police and they're surrounding a coach parked there.
news.sky.com/story/956382/m6-toll-shut-amid-counter-terror-operation
Even terrorists don't like traffic.

How are you all doing today? xxoxoxx
(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 10:22, 125 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

New Question of the Week vote
Thanks for your suggestions as usual

HERE
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 10:21, Reply)

Fuck that self indulgent nonce(sense) about Battereds kid. What's the best purchase you've made from a charity shop?
Alt: Have you ever donated anything awesome to charity. I've just found out that my dad has taken a load of my old star wars toys from the eighties to Oxfam, I'm off to buy them back later.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 9:33, 64 replies, latest was 12 years ago)