'Oh what a beautiful morning!'
The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the neighbour's kids have buggered off to their Grannies' for the day and I have dry-cured bacon, free-range eggs and cumberland chipolatas for breakfast. Life is good!

Tell me, O denizens of off topic, what's great about your day?

Alt: Why are you such a curmudgeonly twat?

Alt Alt: I dunno, something about how shit football is. Maybe kittens - you decide.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 9:17, 39 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'm starting the day with DJ Sneak's fabric mix.
Straight up, no nonsense boompty house.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 9:54, Reply)

I'm starting the day shooting aliens then off out down by the river.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 9:55, Reply)

Ooh nice!
Unfortunately the best bit of river I can get to (Stratford) will be full of tourists by 11.
Will you be boating/fishing/just chilling?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 10:01, Reply)

Chilling mon

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 10:22, Reply)

I'm still caning Horde on GoW3.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 10:01, Reply)

Get mass effect 3

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 10:22, Reply)

I'm waiting for the GOTY edition.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 10:54, Reply)

It certainly is..
A splendid day to drink ice cold cider and celebrate birthdays in the pub beer garden with friends and family.. You coming?
(nikg33 waiting for the weekend, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 10:25, Reply)

I'll decide when I get up.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 10:39, Reply)

I going for a run.
Beat that Interweebs.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)

I cleaned the kitchen.
Eat THAT!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 24 Mar 2012, 12:04, Reply)

B3th.
I've got a feeling that I'm at a wedding when you are planning PIERbash
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 12:44, Reply)

i can move it.
The date's not fixed in stone. It was just an abritrary date i picked out because no bastard would tell what date they actually wanted.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 24 Mar 2012, 12:54, Reply)

Put it to a vote!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 12:58, Reply)

I don't know whay I'm bothering anyway.
Nobody will want to go, and anyone who says they do will change their mind and not turn up.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 24 Mar 2012, 13:01, Reply)

I'm not turning up.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 13:04, Reply)

See?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 24 Mar 2012, 13:18, Reply)

It'll be you and Cavy.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 13:28, Reply)

That's enough, surely?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 13:30, Reply)

This week's jacket potato count: 10
although most of them were small ones, I like the smaller jacket potatos 'cus you get a better skin to guts ratio.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 12:32, Reply)

Terrible disco syphon.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 12:41, Reply)

I just had a lovely frittata
And Teenage Dirtbag came up on random last night so now I'm watching Loser, the film the video was from. S' alright.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 13:17, Reply)

Teenage Dirtbag nearly made me go all Ted Bundy when it came out.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 13:28, Reply)

unlike your usual Al Bundy?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 13:51, Reply)

I seem to recall it being played every 20 minutes on every station for Weeks

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 13:52, Reply)

Yeah, and the ultra-shitness of it made me nearly go all Dahmer.
The homicidal urges became even worse when A Little Respect came out.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 14:10, Reply)

Two Princes for me
Couldn't avoid it every waking hour for what seemed like months.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 14:13, Reply)

I was young enough at the time to like it.
But clearly I realise the error of my ways.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 14:17, Reply)

I liked it the first couple of times
then eventually I wanted to kill everyone.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 14:44, Reply)

I always want to kill everyone.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 14:45, Reply)

I'm listening to this beauty
youtu.be/PwHslqdUopk
I'm gonna go for a walk in a bit seeing as there's nowt else to do and no one to talk to. Then it's work, work, work all weekend. Joy.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 14:00, Reply)

Having been for a run this morning
I went to the gym this afternoon. I trust this shames you into getting off your sofa.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 16:48, Reply)

DOES IT HELP IF I'M NOT AN ALCOHOLIC JEFF??
I'm off to the gym later on SO F-F-F-F UCK YOU
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 17:09, Reply)

Who is an alcoholic?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 17:18, Reply)

Your postings revolve around drinking alot. As a stranger I get to point this out to you.
Stuns ended up in rehab so that makes you the new board Amy Winehouse if that's any consolation.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 17:32, Reply)

If George can stop then so can you Jeff 'Mullered'
www.nhs.uk/Livewell/alcohol/Pages/Alldaydrinker.aspx
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 17:33, Reply)

God bless George.
An inspiration to us all.

The gym on a Saturday night seems like an odd time to be going. Surely you've got better things to be doing.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 17:47, Reply)

Nah, work tomorrow morning, might go out for one later or I might not. That's the crazy life I lead.

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 17:54, Reply)

What do you do for a living?
You don't strike me as being the holy type, so I've ruled out you being a priest.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 17:58, Reply)