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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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My loser housemate is dropping out of the same course he dropped out of last year.Because he can't get up in the mornings to attend lectures. It's a degree in advertising so it's not like it's taxing or anything. What witless morons do you know? First one to say Bobby get's a prize.
Alt: How did you revise for exams? Tactics please.
(, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 13:54, 112 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 13:57,
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What a fucking titRevision for exams goes as follows:
Read books
Make as small a reference page as possible. One sheet A4 max
Stare at page
Use partial photographic memory to recall where things are on page
Remember what you wrote down
Profit
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 13:58,
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The last thing you see before it happens to you
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:00,
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Tell him he's a useless prick who will never succeed at anything in lifeHe should save himself from a life of the dole by killing himself.
The girl who asked why Hitler was speaking German is still one of the most moronic things I've ever heard.
Alt: Go over the notes I've made from the year, compare them against the work we'd been doing at the time, that way it was easier to find any gaps in my knowledge. Then, I'd redo my notes, trimming out any superfluous bits, to help me focus on the core stuff.
Then I'd get bored and go to the pub.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 13:59,
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+ deleting his account and(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:02,
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Alt: I saved a weeks holiday from work and tried to wank myself to death.It didn't work and I passed with some distinctions.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 13:59,
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If he can't get out of his pit in the morning,then he's a waste of space. Twice? Jesus.
And a degree in advertising? FFS, why not just kill him now. Witless morons, just checkout our councillors, shedloads of expenses for precisely nothing.
Alt, I sat with a book, and read it. several times, memorised what I knew the examiners wanted to know and wrote it down. hardly the most difficult of shit.
(, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:04, Reply)
He is the most useless human I've ever met. He cannot do anythign for himself. His parents come and pick up his washing weekly, they drive him to work and pick him up(when he goes), the girls have to wake him up in the mornings and he still doesn't go to lectures.
(, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:10, Reply)
Fucking hell.From the sound of it, his parents need to buck their act up too.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:11,
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they live two miles away...
they walk into the house without knocking, I had a word about that and know they ring him when they're outside.
(, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:13, Reply)
Sounds much like someone I lived in a houseshare with in Bristolexcept that he was 27-odd, I believe.
(, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:17, Reply)
Wow, so you scored a first in astromaths from Oxbridge then, I'd never have guessed(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:10,
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Read through handouts/course handbookmake a list of things I was supposed to learn
make detailed notes on what I was supposed to learn
attempt to learn it in the space of about three weeks as opposed to a year
fail by 0.5% to get a 2i, so possibly my method is not what you want to be doing anyway
(, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:09, Reply)
A mate's daughter was saying how she was going to Ayia Napa on holidaywith her mates.
I asked when she was off to Cyprus and she said she wasn't going to Cyprus but Ayia Napa. FFS.
When I explained to her that A N was in Cyprus and we all had a laugh at her expense, she asked "why" would she know where Ayia Napa was? Lazy, feckless bastards.
(, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:13, Reply)
Fuck loads.I'm on here, I'm on facebook, I'm on twitter and am surrounded by several thousand undergraduates on a daily basis. I'm like a perfect fucking storm for witless retards.
Alt: The tactic of knowing the stuff in the first place is fairly infallable. After that you're pretty much gambling.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:14,
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Other than myself, not many I tend to avoid themand our marketting director was made redundant so now I don't have to work with one.
Alt: Badly, crammed in the last week or so. I got what I was aiming for though so maybe the secret is to have low expectations.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:21,
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I've never revised for anything in my life.I got a 2.1, if you're interested.
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Kroney, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:30,
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English Lit/Lang and Philosophy.Both of which are surprisingly complex. The English component was large part phonetics etc, the Philosophy component was inexplicably short on lazing around talking about "the great beyond, man".
It was all mostly dogshit dull.
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Kroney, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:32,
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Where did you do your degree?The Philosophy course at UCL had the remarkable distiction of only have one compulsroy element - the final exam. Everything else was optional.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:34,
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Glamorganex-Poly in South Wales. I did it as a minor, so I only had to do a few courses. Kind of interesting, but Christ was the expected standard of your argument high.
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Kroney, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:38,
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Not at all, I had to write it in English.So on top of everything else, I had to express myself in my second language.
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Kroney, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:40,
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Students, pay attention!If my students put as much effort into revision as they do into attempted plagiarism, procrastination, whinging and deadline evasion then they would probably do rather well in their exams.
(Also, if I put as much effort into my job instead of procrastinating, whinging and deadline evading then I would probably have been promoted by now.)
I would say this though: if you are handing in a report that constitutes the work of an entire term and that counts for 100% of your assessment for that course, using a stapler will probably put the person marking it in a much better mood, and better mood = better marks.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:47,
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You lose marks for calling me Miss.(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:51,
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I have final year UG students who still call me sir.this disturbs me.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:52,
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haha!*staples post just to make sure*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:51,
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Could I also add:Please don't leave the last 3 pages of a 10 page report out. I find it rather trying when a sentence ends halfway through.
Also, for the love of fuck, if you must copy text from the internet I'm probably going to spot it, but it's really easy if you forget to take the fucking hyperlinks out. OKthanxbye.
PS - wikipedia is not a valid scientific reference source.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:51,
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Bloody Internet copiers.I asked them "Is this your own work, did you do this from scratch?"
"Yes, yes, absolutely" they assured me.
"Really, this is completely original and your own work? Because sometimes people forget to reference things correctly and mistakenly include work that isn't their own" I said, looking incredulous and offering them the chance to redeem themselves.
"We wrote it all ourselves" they said.
On being told they were being summoned to a plagiarism hearing they admitted they "had help".
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:01,
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fucktards, the lot of them.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:19,
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your students sound like retardswhat are you teaching, how to be a mongo?
(, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:05, Reply)
Is it better to pass or fail that course?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:06,
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if you can't figure it out for yourself i'#ll send you the prospectus(, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:07, Reply)
Ask Quinten, he managed to simultaneously do both!(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:07,
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i tried to do the angry eyes sideway v above that quinten, but it didn't workeven when i out the pre tag in
FML
(, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:18, Reply)
Your code doesn't do that pre-tag thing.(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:18,
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DependsI teach Chemical Engineering at UG level. Bioprocessing/therapuetic drug development/downstream processing/stem cell therapies at PG level.
How to be a mongo is optional on any course I teach.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:18,
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Postgraduate.But, I might as well be teaching chips sometimes.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:33,
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yeah. sticks of potato deep-fried.What's so hard to understand about that? honestly, Quents, I despair of you sometimes, I really do.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:44,
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i hate it when clever people don't get upset about me pointing out minor errors(, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:55, Reply)
This is the potatoto hell
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:47,
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I work with a guy who asked his bosses missus if she actually liked his bossHer reply "Well I sleep with him every night so I guess so"
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Peej, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 14:53,
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SEND FOR ALL THE QUENTINS!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:04,
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It's not the same without him here too.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:12,
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its the power of threewithout it we're just poor spelling retards who make shit jokes and try to bully virgins
(, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:15, Reply)
i hate when you go to a website and click back but it doesn't do anythingso you have to hold down the back button to bring up the back history to skip back passed the page your on cos of some shit on there stopping you
(, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:08, Reply)
i don't quite have a photographic memory, but not far offI passed every single exam I ever took by dint of memorising the notes. Pro's: makes exams easy and no revision until the last minute. Con's: I guess I probably have a much shallower understanding of the topics than those who revised every bit and made notes in painstakingly coloured detail.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:22,
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This^I have an exam to take tomorrow and will be doing exactly this tonight
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:23,
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Stupid fucking Microsoft qualifications*jumps through hoops once a year*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:28,
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I keep meaning to start doing my Cisco creds.I keep getting distracted by such things as telly, computer games, going out, girls and sometimes sitting around staring at the ceiling being bored.
I am not a natural study.
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Kroney, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:34,
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Just passed the latest Citrix XenApp 6.5 CCA qualification and need to update my 2003 MCSE to 2008 MCITP
Pain in the arse it is
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:35,
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I haven't done any of that shit. Times have changed, I'll need them if I'm going to get another job.
Still. Effort.
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Kroney, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:37,
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mehI've done so many Citrix qualifications it is silly - CCA x 8, CCEA, CCIA, CCSP. Microsoft MCSA/MSCE for 2000 and 2003
Off for VMWare training soon
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:39,
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It was grimI need the qualifications for our company though as we are Citrix and Microsoft partners
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:58,
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memorising the ingredients on the back of a kitkat chunky isn't revisingand scribbling "SUGAR, MODIFIED MILK INGREDIENTS, COCOA BUTTER, UNSWEETENED CHOCOLATE, LACTOSE, SOYA..." on your bedroom wall in your still warm detritus doesn't count as an exam
(, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:26, Reply)
i don't like kitkatsI can't stand wafer, me.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:33,
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The Boomtown Rats less well received.....(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:34,
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Why the hell did they let him on the course the second time?I wish him luck getting on any course again ever.
I find teh world is full of imbeciles and fucktards. Especially the ones who say "You're so clever! How do you know that?" when you demonstrate any knowledge whatsoever. It's so hard to refrain from saying "because I read occasionally, and I listened in school, you moron."
alt: Went through pages and pages of doodled-on lecture notes, copied out main themes and motifs etc, learned some quotes, revised topic vocab, panicked, cried, had anxiety dreams. Hope this helps.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:39,
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Are you kidding?£9000 a year say he will get on any course he wants
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:47,
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There are still limits to the number of students you can take(I think in England, I only really know the Scottish system now) and you'll be financially punished for poor retention rates, so the £9K fees won't make any difference in that way. Except to a seriously despairately crap University.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:56,
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Wales innit?As long as he promises not to fuck sheep, all will be OK
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:57,
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Ah, Welsh system is the same as the Scottish I thinkWe've got this weird situation now where the English have to pay £9K a year to come to Uni here but everyone else in Europe. including the Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish, doesn't. Rather silly.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 16:02,
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It's just Salmond being a cuntsooner or later someone's going to challenge it as discriminatory. I'm amazed no one has yet.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 16:04,
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Well he is a big, fat, smug, racist cunt. He's nothing if not consistent.(, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 16:14, Reply)
Have a right good wank before the exam, helps to settle the nerves I found.Although probably best not to do it in the examination hall, as I also found.
(, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:46, Reply)
i feel dirty writing thatreally dirty, i don't even like LOTr, i barely watched the films, they were shit i just know this meme thats all
please don't bully me cos i've got a D&D hat
(, Mon 30 Apr 2012, 15:59, Reply)
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