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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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SCANDAL!
We've just found a small cupboard downstairs where somebody in our building has been hiding and stealing post :O

items taken so far include; a kindle (which was deactivated by Amazon, so fuck you mister steal-y person), other gadgets, CDs, DVDs and a shitload of cheques. This has been going on since late last year. Malc and Tricky are talking about setting up servaillance, i won't go into the other details of thier idea of 'serveillance' as its rude and highly illegal

What was the last scandal etc?

Alt i guess its lunch, lunch?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:14, 93 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
that's quite a scandal Q.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:15, Reply)
totes is innit?
there's a whole cupboard full of mail and opened boxes, shits 4 real yo
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:16, Reply)
it's like a modern day treasure chest.
Do you know who did the stealing?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:17, Reply)
no taht's why malc and tricky are talking about setting up a camera
which would be illegal unless they put up a notice, but then they got distracted thinking about putting the camera in the ladies bogs, which would also be illegal

i don't know why they'd want to watch laura having a poo
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:19, Reply)
Could put up a fake camera and try to scare them off.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:19, Reply)
they don't want that, they want to break legs or something

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:20, Reply)
Front door saying "cctv cameras are used throughout the building"
should be enough right?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:58, Reply)
yep, but doing that would alert the thief(s)

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:40, Reply)
My godmothers postman stole post for over a year
the Royal mail went to his house to investigate and he shot at them with a shotgun, then blew his brains out.

What I'm saying is be careful Q, this psycho might just go over the edge.

lunch, will be the gym plus some North Korean Nooodles
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:16, Reply)
My lunch tomorrow will be tea and scones.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:17, Reply)
I had a scone last night with chocolate Philadelphia on it
More food FACTS as they arrive
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:19, Reply)
i reckon laura in the office next door has been doing it
she looks real pikey and has loads of rolls of fat she could conceal things in
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:17, Reply)
Fat people are always of weak moral character.
SCIENCE
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:18, Reply)
show your working

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:22, Reply)
Person of weak moral character + free access to pies = fatty.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:23, Reply)
you hear that internet?
Kroney just called you a poof
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:24, Reply)
I'll take them all on.
One at a time or all at once, makes no difference to me.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:25, Reply)
see below

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:23, Reply)
i know you had your reasons but i wanted to see kroney's

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:26, Reply)
this is ripe for a context click

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:26, Reply)
It doesn't take much persuasion for me to show mine.
Never has.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:29, Reply)
If she is fat then she is clearly selfish and therefore capable of such an atrosity
Good Work Hercule Quinne
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:18, Reply)
thanks Naked Ape!
i'll write up a report and have this wrapped up by tea time
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:19, Reply)
Just one more thing...

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:21, Reply)
ailementary my dear watson

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:22, Reply)
Who's lookin' atcha baby?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:24, Reply)
So all that stuff is still in the cupboard?
Retarded postman putting it in there? My postman started throwing our post over the back gate not realising he was throwing it in to our neighbours garden. What a fucking retard. We were complaining about not receiving items when the whole time they were in the bushes at the bottom of my neighbours garden. Not even a fucking note that read "Dear homeowner, I am a spastic and have thrown your mail over a 7 ft high gate that I cannot see over. Lots of love, the postman."
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:19, Reply)
our postman leaves everythign neatly sorted in boxes by our entrance, someone has been stealing some of these boxes and concealing the evidense in a cupboard
DUNDUN-DUNNNN

sounds like your postie is a lazy shit
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:20, Reply)
and throws like a girl

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:21, Reply)
Yeh, he also lets himself in to the house and kicks our plant pots over.
Cunt
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:21, Reply)
are you sure he's not a fox?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:22, Reply)

You are an imaginative SP. Prove this is a true story and I'll never doubt you again.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:22, Reply)
What does it matter, Bob?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:23, Reply)
he's calling me out, krones
i gots to prove myself
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:23, Reply)

I just want to know.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:28, Reply)
hold up and i'll upload louise's photo of some of the envelopes we found and the amazon box

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:23, Reply)
nah goin lunch first, when i get back
k?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:25, Reply)

And parcels, showing postage dates etc.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:28, Reply)
that's a bit extreme, i don't mind uploading a photo of some letters and that
but i'm not going to that sort of length you maniac
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:30, Reply)

Well then it's probably all bullshit.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:31, Reply)
nah, no need to lie
especially about something this dull
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:35, Reply)

Bollocks, and I thought you were going to lunch?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:51, Reply)
just got back, now i'll see if louise can send me that photo

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:39, Reply)
We had a woman at work attempt that
She was pinching all of the crap free gifts you get from stationery companies, etc, but my boss had his eye on one item, so when it didn't arrive, he did some digging, and found she'd been stealing it all. It was mostly just chocolate, stuff like that, but she received a rather large bollocking.

Only scandal at the minute is that one of my friends had his confidence ruined by his missus dumping him, and making it clear it was 'all his fault', it has since emerged she was simply bored of him, so decided that was the correct way to end the relationship.

Alt: BBQ pork & tomato dish with rice.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:24, Reply)
what a bitch, i hope you slapped her

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:25, Reply)
Not my business Q, fortunately

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:29, Reply)
I've got really dry lips, maybe I'm dehydrated

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:28, Reply)
glass of water

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:29, Reply)
Thanks Q, I can alway rely on you

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:30, Reply)
I'm sure I've told the story of the girl who got herself fired by setting up a Facebook group calling her employers shit
at her work computer on work time using FB via a proxy cos all such sites were banned.

Scandal in my workplace today; everyone's well jell cos I'm off to a meeting in London on Thursday to discuss Vodafone's offer for our company. I look forward to coming back and telling them FUCK ALL
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:30, Reply)
will you get any freebies?
i love freebies, i got bbm speechbubble notepads
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:36, Reply)
Last time I got LUNCH
Yeah that's right! A free lunch! There was fizzy water too, I didn't want the day to end
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:38, Reply)
That's big city life for you right there, Foxo.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:40, Reply)
3 meals a day eh? Who'd have thought it!
next we'll be telling him that e have indoor toilets!
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:41, Reply)
Don't blow the poor bugger's mind
he's still wrapping his head around not having to go down to the village well for water.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:43, Reply)
Nah this last meeting was in Bracknell
But they did supply nice velvety leaves to go with the hole in the ground.

Am thinking maybe in London they might have something so sophisticated as a bucket.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:43, Reply)
Bracknell *is* the hole in the ground

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:44, Reply)
No way man, they've got adry ski slope
that's 21st centuary shit right there
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:46, Reply)
Can't be
Norwich has got one
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:48, Reply)
What, no beers?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:48, Reply)
Yeah, they're looking at developing a new way of getting it out of the cask actually
They call it a "pump"
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:52, Reply)
I mean on Thursday night, sarky.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:58, Reply)
Nah I won't be in town long mate
Meeting finishes between 3 and 4 and I need to be on a train back by 5. If you're free in that window then by all means :-)
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:01, Reply)
Shame. I am at the Dr at 15.10 but would have come back in to town.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:04, Reply)
Apologies
Next time maybe?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:11, Reply)
Fucking show offs.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:48, Reply)
+ a Kindle, some cheques and DVDs

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:42, Reply)
Holy crap I just worked out you supply our company.
Totally going to gaz you rather than ring up the helpline from now on.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:50, Reply)
Do you still work for the NHS?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:52, Reply)

nah, Staples.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:52, Reply)
"work"

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:53, Reply)
Yeah, you're migrating all out telephony hubs.
and our call master don't work!
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:54, Reply)
Interesting, I thought we just had the Blood Transfusion area
That's the only bit that comes through our department anyway. I'll have a word on Thursday, the CEO will be there, I'll just take a load of paper clips and make a noose out of them, he'll get the message
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:01, Reply)
Good good, I'll be expecting emails on Thursday.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:03, Reply)
Or just throw some fecal matter at him. Norwich style.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:03, Reply)
How would proposing help anything?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:06, Reply)
Could be a promotion in it for him?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:07, Reply)
No point in sleeping your way to the middle

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:11, Reply)
this is the kindle box from on kev's desk
joe ordered it last year for his wife's xmas and when it didn't arrive he got a second one sent
www.b3tards.com/u/93ddfffe9b9d9422fe92/img-20120618-00051.jpg

if i can get louise's photo of the letters as well i'll uplolad that too yeah?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:51, Reply)
You're confusing the crime scene
Anyone handling that box should be wearing gloves
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:55, Reply)
thats what i said
and with malc being ex filth he should have known better, he contaminated the whole crime scene

i reckon he's bent, inside joba nd that
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:56, Reply)
I's obviously Malc, he's covering his tracks now
confront him before he leaves this evening
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:01, Reply)
Yeah awesome!

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:55, Reply)
and joe got a photo of the cupboard too
its good because our lease is up for renewal

BRAPP
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:56, Reply)
This is the best day ever!

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:58, Reply)
innit doe

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:01, Reply)
Your Kindle is folded

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:57, Reply)
someone stole the kindle
YOU LIDIOT
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:00, Reply)
has this thread died cos everyone's at lunch or cos i'm shit?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:55, Reply)
Column A, column B

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:56, Reply)
*merges and centres*

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:59, Reply)
I just wanted to let you know that there is a
NEW THREAD!
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:58, Reply)
shut up i'm not done proiving i'm not a liar yet

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:01, Reply)

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