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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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the last couple weeks, across the rd from my house on the green
there's been a police gazebo up, complete with solitary bored copper, reading and pacing. this has taken the place of the usual mob of crackheads, dogs, dealers and other semi-conscious derelicts.

i finally got round to asking one copper what the deal was.
apparently the purpose of the gazebo and associated policeperson is to deter the crackheads from gathering. wherever there's crackheads and complaints, up it pops like some kind of womble-bearing toadstool.

this to me seems like shit lazy stat-wrangling. rather than one copper walking round from trouble spot to trouble spot going 'hey crackheads! knock it off and move on' then when they settle again, shooing them off again like flies off a picnic, they simply sit a copper down somewhere under a gazebo, on full pay, thereby ensuring that there are no crackheads there AT THAT TIME. in this case, they are ~200 yards away in a different park.
this is a fucking joke, isn't it? tell me why.

alt: this is a great idea isn't it? tell me how you intend to darwinise yourself.

alt alt: i'm working from home tomorrow. no question, just wanted you to picutre me sitting in front of my laptop, with my nuts hanging out the bottom of my dressing gown. sexy isn't it? you disgust me.
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 16:37, 83 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
oops- threadshitter!
sorry rory, i started typing this before you posted your footy thread.



you fucking football loving shrub rocketeer.
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 16:38, Reply)
You took 17 minutes to write that?
Bet you're on a mac!
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 16:53, Reply)
pc actually
and it's because i have to look like i'm working in between bouts of internet rage
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 16:56, Reply)
I just worked out Jimmy Carr has saved enough tax to pay for ~250 cateract opperations a year.
Definatly moral grey area that.
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 16:47, Reply)
I don't know, the whole thing is a bit hazy.

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 16:48, Reply)
i get this!

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 16:52, Reply)
To be fair, I was just yes anding Chompy's initial joke.
Unless 'grey area' was a lucky accident.
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 16:58, Reply)
i just got that!

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:01, Reply)
:DDDD

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:02, Reply)
I tell you what I can't work out
How can that unfunny cunt make that much fucking cash
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 16:53, Reply)
its to do with getting the right balance between 'omigoodness' and mainstream

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 16:54, Reply)

www.d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-l-y.com/
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 16:54, Reply)
you definetley have too much time on your hands

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 16:55, Reply)
just trying to help
people who think a LOT of themselves not look QUITE so much like a retarded mong licking a blackboard, q.
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 16:56, Reply)
although i didn't make the website, i lack teh skillz
i just googled
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 16:56, Reply)

www.dyslexia.com/
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 16:58, Reply)
That fucking does my fucking tits in.
That website looks like a 13 year old in 1998 made the site, but it was updated in may of this year. It's belittling on so many levels. They can get fucked.
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:17, Reply)
Or bigger tits for 50 essex girls

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 16:58, Reply)
How much are boob jobs, I could work out the exact figure.

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:02, Reply)
cleft palates

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:04, Reply)
rape counseling

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:04, Reply)
transgender operations

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:04, Reply)
Mastectomies

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:05, Reply)
Bobbies on the beat

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:06, Reply)
road sweepers

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:06, Reply)
i'm bored now

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:06, Reply)
I don't get what you were going on about.

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:08, Reply)
newspaper articles always equate a given sum into a set list of tearjerkers or items that the bloke in a white van can relate to
the reality that it drops into a large pisspot and would probably have ended up paying for cycle lane bureaucracy in Merthyr Tydfil makes for less sexy press
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:12, Reply)
The argument that it all goes into a pot so you'll never get to know where it goes is valid
the assumption that it'll only go to sometihng you consider useless isn't. It's more likely to go to paying Pensions to sweet old ladies than helping defending ASYLUM SEEKERS! From deportation.
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:15, Reply)
I don't really care about the deportations, it's the exercise of teh rule of law, and irrespective of the number of appeals it works it's way back to the coffers via paye, vat etc being paid to the supposed fat cat lawyers

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:20, Reply)
he wants to know how many of each of those things could have been bought if jimmy carr wasn't a tax avoiding cunt

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:12, Reply)
The worst of all dinosaurs.

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:09, Reply)
dinosaurs didn't exist
prick
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:12, Reply)
I'm working at home for most of this week.
And next. And the next. All of them actually, until October. I feel like I've gone back in time.
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 16:52, Reply)
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 16:53, Reply)
Working.
It's all done now pretty much until October. Yay!
Sorry, have the pints of milk and newspapers been mounting up?
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 16:55, Reply)
*studiously avoids questions about sitting in pants*
for me, it's a mixed blessing. occasional, maybe one day a week/two weeks is great, i get all productive and with no-one turnign up at my desk to ask me stooopid questions, i get loads done.
more than 2 consecutive days and i find myself spending more time playing guitar, and whacking it like a captive chimp than working.
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 16:56, Reply)
Nah, I don't bother sitting in my pants
I work naked at all times
I slob about in tshirts and shorts.
I find if I have just one or two days off I need to sleep (certainly this last academic year I have needed too, perhaps I'm just getting old). If I have more days off I catch up on sleep, then catch up on reading, then start doing productive things again.
And playing Sim City.
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:04, Reply)
You should try living somewhere less shit

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 16:56, Reply)
he's south of the river

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:00, Reply)
WAAAAY fucking south
i'm on da coast.
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:00, Reply)
the A23 is crack valley

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:02, Reply)
it's a nice area
hence having PARKS and green spaces, and the sort of neighbours who care about the place enough to complain enough for the police to actually DO something (albeit something SHITE) about the swarms of crackheads.
it's also handily close to the soup kitchen and needle exchange- again, signs of middle class do-goodery.
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:00, Reply)
I'm pretty sure Skemsdale has parks

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:28, Reply)
TD;DGAF

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:02, Reply)
We had one down my road.
But that one was real and related to that EastEnders actress who was chopped up and dumped in the canal.
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:15, Reply)
best place for her really

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:24, Reply)
anyone else reckon the pics of his gf here are a bit gratuitous?
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2161032/Tom-Maynard-death-Police-investigate-fled-car-dead.html?ICO=most_read_module
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:16, Reply)
It's like your suggesting the Daily Mail has a ghoulish obsession with the deaths of famous people here.

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:17, Reply)
more a ghoulish obsession with a dead man's girlfriends tits

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:21, Reply)
In truth I am more interested in them than some dead cricket bender.

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:22, Reply)
well, she IS single now

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:25, Reply)
Not for long, it's Ascot week.

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:26, Reply)
I like the big red splodge on the map where he died

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:23, Reply)
They've all been blocked to me now...
Strange.
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:22, Reply)
Shame, she was quite hot
well hot enough to have to take off her clothes to cool down
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:23, Reply)
she doesn't look very upset to me

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:23, Reply)
she's getting me very "upset"

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:24, Reply)
i wish i could be her shoulder to cry on :(
I'd be all like there there and stuff
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:25, Reply)
Worked for Darth

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:27, Reply)
i wonder if she knows that he's posted pictures of her on a website of mentally ill people

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:29, Reply)
I wonder if he knows what those mentally ill people have been doing with the pictures

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:32, Reply)
she absorbs 20% more spunk than the models in the littlewoods catalogue

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:33, Reply)
this was vital empirical research

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:34, Reply)
She's rending her clothes like an ancient Roman professional mourner.
I think it's only right and proper.
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:25, Reply)
Oh get you with your la de da classical reference of the same joke that I was too slow at.

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:26, Reply)
if only you weren't brain damaged from drink

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:27, Reply)
The correct medicinal term is "pickled"

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:28, Reply)
or Korsakoff if you want to get all technical on his ass

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:30, Reply)
Of course she's upset
she's clearly ripped all her clothes off through the madness of grief.
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:26, Reply)

Oh man, I haven't felt that guilty about a wank since...help me out here, I can't think of any joke to finish with that doesn't involve Maddie's Mum and that's too obvious.
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:24, Reply)
Mary bell?

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:27, Reply)
Since those Myra Hindley topless shots were leaked?

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:29, Reply)
It's the eyes that do it for me

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:30, Reply)
fuck you lot
i'm off
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:31, Reply)
Fuck off then.
Alright everyone?
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:31, Reply)
You missed an opportunity to slate someones book

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:32, Reply)
So I saw. At least it didn't have a fucking huge image in the post and the poster didnt seem to be an arrogant cunt.

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:34, Reply)
Chinaman seems OK to me.
But then I am a bit of a softie.
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:35, Reply)

softie screaming homosexual who is riddled with anal warts.
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:43, Reply)
Not really. You?

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:34, Reply)
Yes. Thanks for asking. I am in the pub.

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:38, Reply)
Lucky old you.

(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 17:40, Reply)

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