i'd a billion times rather a guy with a small/average cock who really knows how to use it
than a guy with a big cock who doesn't have a clue
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:08, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Mine's so small that when somebody asks me "is it in yet?"
I reply "Is what in?"
( Kroney, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:08, Reply)

at least you know it's meant to go in
that puts you one step ahead of some people
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:09, Reply)

I'm like a hairy Ken doll with balls

( Kroney, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:16, Reply)

oh god this
Size really doesn't matter
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:09, Reply)

too big is not good
untrimmed pubes are not good

poor hygiene is not good
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:10, Reply)

what if its inverted and covered in pustules?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:13, Reply)

i once had a guy that was above average, stick it in, then continued to try to shove it in
I'm like dude, you can't crawl in there
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:13, Reply)

urggggh
i once had a guy whose idea of fingering was so fucking painful that he made everything seize up in self-defence. proper virgin school-boy technique. in agony i suggested that we move to shagging, but he then couldn't get it in AT ALL. instead of realising what he had done wrong, he demanded a blowie instead.

shudder.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:15, Reply)

Bet you gave it too him though

( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:17, Reply)

yeah, i was drunk
and polite

but when he repeated all the offences the next morning and declined several offers of a shower, i knew it was time to pick up my lapsed faith and go to confession.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:18, Reply)

See this is why life isn't fair
I'm a chef in the Kitchen, I bring home a decent wage, I've never been violent, I've never shit the bed, I'm clean, I trim my pubes just like it says in cosmo, I exercise regularly and am in good shape. But some shit in bed fingerbanger gets a blowie and I don't!
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:24, Reply)

i'll suck you off

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:27, Reply)

I can't pay, is that ok?

( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:28, Reply)

sure, just wash it first

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:32, Reply)

My ex a had a shirt that said "Ok,but wash it first" on it
She was ace.
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:33, Reply)

this was not the bedshitter, this was a much bigger mistake!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:30, Reply)

No, but its another example of how shit people get all the luck

( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:31, Reply)

to be fair, this dude has to wake up every morning to the shit mediocrity of himself
i consider that enough punishment really
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:37, Reply)

i bet before you he was with some girl who taught him to do it like that
and she fucken loved it, he's a retard for thinking it would work for every girl

but your a retard for not just showing him how to do it proper
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:38, Reply)

Yeh, My first sexual partner was a bit crazy in bed and liked all-sorts of weird stuff
I've since discovered that not all women like you to fuck them up the arse in Top Shop changing rooms and cum on their face.
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:41, Reply)

what if it's a lady hyena's clitoris?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:14, Reply)

Yeh but what about a guy with a big one who does know how to use it
Admit it, that would be better
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:11, Reply)

depends
how the girl is built. what i think is too big might not touch the sides on someone else!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:14, Reply)

Yeh but I reckon women who says size doesn't matter are lying

( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:15, Reply)

lying fat
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:16, Reply)

within reason, no
it doesn't make much difference unless it's ridiculous either way. i mean, nobody wants to be split in half, but nobody wants to be fingered by a thumb either
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:16, Reply)

just enough to give your kids a treat
/battered
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:19, Reply)

i was at uni with a guy whose surname was fudge
he was horrific. but he really fancied my friend. we used to annoy her by singing "a finger of fudge is just enough to give vicki a treat".

ha.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:20, Reply)

this would be hilarious if i knew vicki
my gf's haridresser is called vicky, i doubt its the same one
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:21, Reply)

it really doesn't

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:18, Reply)

nope

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:14, Reply)

what if its a big guy, he knows how to use it and he's got loadsa money?
i'm asking on pj's behalf, here
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:15, Reply)

What if its me,
Above average but not massive, forgotten how to use it and not a penny in my wallet.
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:16, Reply)

shut up, yo
if it falls through with ol' frigid knickers swipe and swizz will be gagging for some
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:18, Reply)

i read that as "ol' frigid knickers swipe" at first
never been accused of that before
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:19, Reply)

proof if ever it were needed about the gratitude of the porcine

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:20, Reply)

this is why i vote battered

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:30, Reply)

i was FLIRTING

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:31, Reply)

pj is married, dude

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:35, Reply)

that doesn't close him off to other options, as you well know

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:37, Reply)

Yeh, I may be married but I can still fuck other people
I just can't get caught
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:38, Reply)

cock doesn't count

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:39, Reply)

I always thought a cock in the hand was worth two in the bush

( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:42, Reply)

Awwww fuck, I liked you as well and now I have to kill you.
Ain't war hell!
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:32, Reply)

I might get a sympathy blowie out of it too
I'll still be broke though.
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:21, Reply)

they don't know that, keep it on the down-low
i'll loan you my helicopter
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:23, Reply)

Awesome I'll take my mates kid up in it and crash it
colinmcraelolz.

I voted for you Q, I'll defend you like the crazy oirish fucker in Braveheart.
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:26, Reply)

i liked him in Ransom when he says
'GIVE ME BACK MY SUN' and then the clouds open and its a beautiful day for everyone
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:27, Reply)

The crazy oirish fucker isn't in Ransom
The crazy Racist fucker is though
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:30, Reply)

oh you mean the guy who thinks Ireland is on his side?
he'd make a good shrek character
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:31, Reply)

Yeh him, I'm him and you can be wallace and i'll save your life and stuff

( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:32, Reply)

i don't wanna be hung drawn and quartered :(

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:36, Reply)

Then we had better win then

( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:38, Reply)

Brendan Gleason?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:44, Reply)

Bless you

( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:44, Reply)

Seriously though
There was only one crazy Irish guy it in, Brendon Gleeson played Hamish who was ever so slightly Scottish despite Brendon himself being a filthy bog trotter. I am of course talking about David O'Hara who oddly enough is from Scotland
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:48, Reply)

Some of us have the worst of both worlds.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:16, Reply)

chill it out, take it slow
then you rock out the show
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:31, Reply)