Are you BBQing tonight as well?
I've ice cold excellent beer in the fridge and some Wild Boar & Apple Sausages and some Lamb Chops :)

What are you going to grill or is it a tin of cold beans on some limp toast?

ALT - Who needs a screwdriver in the ear to bring the funnyness back to QOTW?

ALT ALT - Which QOTWer looks best in a bikini?
( b3tz, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:29, 94 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I don't know, I've never met any of them
much less seen them down the lido.
( Kroney, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:31, Reply)

OK, I read that *totally* wrong.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:33, Reply)

I didn't want to rise to the blatant pander-baiting.
but maybe I could have phrased it better :D
( Kroney, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:35, Reply)

ALT ALT: Me, I have the best legs.
And boobs. PANDER TO ME!

I wish I was BBQing. Instead I am going to the pub with my new boss. Which actually is a good thing.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:32, Reply)

Sorry dude, I have the best legs on OT
also, a pretty good arse. But I don't like to talk about it.
( Kroney, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:36, Reply)

Alright, fine. And I suppose Al's got better tits than me.
GOD, I'M SO UNATTRACTIVE.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:37, Reply)

I CAN'T BELIEVE NO-ONE IS PANDERING TO ME
If I was an 18-year-old female pole dancer you'd all have sweaty hands by now, you pervs.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:41, Reply)

My hands are already sweaty, due to the excessive heat.
I should really go and wash the dishes but it's like a fucking oven in the kitchen at the moment.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:43, Reply)

You don't need to be attractive.
You're married. You can get fat and hairy and your missus will have to spend LOADS of money on divorcing you.
( Kroney, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:43, Reply)

I need to remain trim so she doesn't get tempted to go and boff some young personal trainer or something.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:45, Reply)

Sounds all jolly nice B3tz,
I'm not a fan of apple in sausages though, myself. But that's just me. Enjoy them OK?

I am so fucking poor I shall be concocting a dish based on some cooked rice, there will be chillies, king prawns and some soy or hoisin action - basically it's a 'what can I make without buying anything' surprise.

Alt: not Plan B lol
Altalt: Bobby
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:32, Reply)

Apple in sausages most definitely = WRONG
Myself, I also have a problem with beef sausages. FUCK OFF. Sausages are Pork.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:33, Reply)

I'm witcha, brah.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:34, Reply)

Damn straight, yo.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:38, Reply)

Venison?

( Kroney, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:35, Reply)

You askin'?

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:36, Reply)

Bit on the deer side.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:37, Reply)

Badum tish!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:38, Reply)

Lou Reed's less etc zzzzzz kill me now.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:38, Reply)

No probs with venison sausages as long as pork fat is added in fairly large amounts.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:47, Reply)

Monty, my new job's based in Moaty World.
Should I have it drafted into my contract that Friday's lunch should take the form of a box of fried chicken and a four pack of lager, to be delivered incoherently by a washed up footballer bearing a fishing rod?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:52, Reply)

Michael Owen is available

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 18:18, Reply)

Sausages should just be meat based.
A bit of herbs and pepper are acceptable, but fruit ffs?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:39, Reply)

Nature provided a fruit sausage in the form of a banana.
This is the only time it is acceptable.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:40, Reply)

But bananas are minging.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:42, Reply)

INCORRECT!
Bananas are brilliant. But not when they have brown spots all over them, like an old person's hands. Then they are wrong.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:42, Reply)

I do not like bananas
bananas, I don't like
if you offer me a 'nana
you can take a fucking hike.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:44, Reply)

Well that's you struck off the list of invites to my banana party.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:46, Reply)

Oh yeah, I've heard all about you and your 'banana' parties, you fucking pervert.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:47, Reply)

"Hey, this banana doesn't taste like banana"

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:48, Reply)

tonight is discovering something to do with shrimp
Alt alt al, duh
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:48, Reply)

I'm really good looking.
Also pretty funny. These statements may or may not be semantically connected.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:48, Reply)

but will you look good in a bikini?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:51, Reply)

probably not.
:'(
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:52, Reply)

you should let us be the judge, just take a photo of yourself in one and post it

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:56, Reply)

just what?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 17:57, Reply)

swap "good" and "funny"

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 18:29, Reply)

no bbq for me :(
although apparently I am making pesto and sundried tomato stuffed chicken for tea.

altalt: not sure, but the real question is who would look good in a mankini?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:17, Reply)

OOOOOOOhhhhhhh OOOOOOOoohhhhhhh I know this one
*raises hand*
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:19, Reply)

oh rly?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:20, Reply)

*makes pick me motions with arms raised*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:21, Reply)

if this takes off with all the other male
b3tans and becomes some kind of hideous parade of filth, beer guts and hairy chests I'm going to regret ever asking
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:28, Reply)

V down V

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:28, Reply)

putting the mank
into mankini
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:30, Reply)

Nobody looks good in a mankini.
I saw someone wearing one in a local supermarket a couple of years ago. Immediately turned puce and put all my shopping back on the shelf and left.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:25, Reply)

This
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shirley_Crabtree
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:27, Reply)

that was a somewhat more modest mankini
plus, he's a wrestler.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:30, Reply)

Big Daddy 4eva in ourz h3rtz

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:31, Reply)

My granny used to think he was the dog's.
Saturday afternoons, 4pm, was the closest thing she ever got to church.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:34, Reply)

Giant haystack was way cooler, trufax
HEY I forgot to ask how did you get on?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:35, Reply)

I was offered the job this afternoon.
I have accepted, but if my current place suddenly turn around and offer me permanency I'll take that instead. I suspect this is unlikely, though.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:37, Reply)

\o/ Get in there son

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:37, Reply)

9 month's more gainful employment is not bad, I suppose.
I feel like I've gone round in a circle though - same programme I was on, same people, but different organisation.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:39, Reply)

Is it only contractual?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:40, Reply)

Maternity cover 'til June.
At the moment I'm only contracted until the end of September.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:41, Reply)

Deffo better than a punch in the ear.

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:43, Reply)

Indeed.
There is a slight possibility of a current contract extension 'til March, and lots of people get kept on permanently who start on fixed contracts, but it's a bit of a risk to take staying on if I suddenly find myself out on my arse.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:47, Reply)

Good work that man
(MAX Degrees Bring your Own Balaclava, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:39, Reply)

Woo hoo!
Get in!
Congratulations and that.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:41, Reply)

Oi thats my thunder, give it back or I'm telling

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:41, Reply)

Up yours cuntwad.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:43, Reply)

That it I'm totally gazzing Quintin
Then you'll be sorry
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:45, Reply)

Yeah, yeah...
talk to the hand
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:49, Reply)

:'( stop this bullying

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:51, Reply)

Pussy.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:56, Reply)

Thats it I'm going home and taking my ball

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:58, Reply)

Ta both.
I've got mixed feelings about it as I really like where I work now; the location's good, the people are good, but the work's not really brain taxing. The new job will be more stretching, I know the people involved, but it'll involve lots of driving around Northumberland, which puts wear and tear on the car. And the programme is bureaucratically ridiculous.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:45, Reply)

Will you get mileage?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:47, Reply)

For attending meetings, yes.
Day to day travel to work, no. Although there will be a lot of meetings with applicants, if past experience is owt to go by.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:48, Reply)

Is the normal commute going to be a lot further than your current one?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:53, Reply)

About the same mileage wise
but I'll be out in the sticks at MoatyWorld, which can be a bastard in the winter. Current job I just jump on a train and have a five minute walk to the office from the station. On the plus side, it's free parking at the new place. Assuming you can actually get fucking parked for all the Moaty worshippers turning up.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:57, Reply)

can I add my YAY to this also

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:46, Reply)

NO piss off riding on my \o/ train

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:47, Reply)

Holly Johnson's lesser known b side

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 21:02, Reply)

The Pasadenaslolz
www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/6/61/Pasadenas_tribute.jpg/220px-Pasadenas_tribute.jpg&imgrefurl=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pasadenas&h=220&w=220&sz=16&tbnid=6oXEqBAeK0AUcM:&tbnh=90&tbnw=90&zoom=1&usg=__X4CJ5mCVM23qtmCp1WYje41T9IM=&docid=d8m64qmTU0829M&sa=X&ei=k_8OUKL6GqOn0QXNhYHYDg&ved=0CGAQ9QEwAw&dur=932
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 21:04, Reply)

^^this
makes a bloke look like a two week out of date oven ready chicken in a string bag. With the giblets.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:43, Reply)

When is too soon to watch batman again? Really wanna go again but only watched it yesterday
(MAX Degrees Bring your Own Balaclava, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:38, Reply)

It's never to soon to watch Adam West

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:39, Reply)

My name is Adam We
(MAX Degrees Bring your Own Balaclava, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:39, Reply)

Or is it?
Maurice Joseph Micklewhite
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:57, Reply)

Probably best to wait till the crowds die down a bit.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:45, Reply)

Am I the only one who gets this?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:49, Reply)

Just needs to shoot up the cinema

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:50, Reply)

Yea you got it, its like we're twins or something
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/9424054/Colorado-Batman-shooting-massacre-prompts-upsurge-in-gun-sales.html
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:52, Reply)

Evening, DogFucker.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:52, Reply)

Evening DG.
Top job news!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:53, Reply)

Aye, it's not bad.
I'm going to go keep the missus company for a bit. Laters, maybe.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:58, Reply)

I made us a nice salad.
It was excessive and lovely. Thanks for asking.

altalt: I can't stress enough how much it *isn't* me.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 20:43, Reply)

This evening needs a new thread.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 21:08, Reply)

Go for it

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 21:09, Reply)

After you.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 21:11, Reply)

OK OK damn the pressure

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 21:12, Reply)

Don't let me down

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 21:13, Reply)

THERE ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 21:15, Reply)