Lunch?
Alt: go fuck yourself.
(MAX Degrees Bring your Own Balaclava, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:11, 77 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

prick

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:13, Reply)

Jew

(MAX Degrees Bring your Own Balaclava, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:13, Reply)

baldmonkey

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:26, Reply)

I'm going to go get lunch first if that's ok.
I'll come back to inform you of my choice.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:13, Reply)

*hopes its chips*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:17, Reply)

I prefer Daddy

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:22, Reply)

We know, you inverse nonce

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:23, Reply)

It was a house special sandwich
which is a bit like popcorn chicken with lettuce and hot sauce.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:46, Reply)

I was expecting more attention for this.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:29, Reply)

Rice cakes, lots of water and an unending urge to piss
Alt: I shall!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:13, Reply)

Easy there fagima whitbread, where's the meat?

(MAX Degrees Bring your Own Balaclava, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:15, Reply)

In his hand!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:16, Reply)

somewhere

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:16, Reply)

No meat for young Foxtrot
not until his chores are done, or he's lost that pesky stone

Or tomorrow
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:17, Reply)

But rice cakes are shit
(MAX Degrees Bring your Own Balaclava, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:18, Reply)

trufax

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:19, Reply)

Yeah but the chilli cream cheese and watercress on top of them are not

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:26, Reply)

But the wedding's over
You don't need to fit in your bridesmaid's dress any more.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:19, Reply)

ridesmaid's dre est man's a
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:22, Reply)

I want to be thin and sexy, OK?
Well, thin. Surgery is expensive.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:26, Reply)

Don't we all.
But miracles are harder to come by than free surgery.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:32, Reply)

Well that's not the attitude
PRAY HARDER
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:45, Reply)

leave some meat out on the counter for a couple of days then you can eat what you like and still lose weight
violently from both ends
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:33, Reply)

I like your lateral thinking
When I'm bulemia-thin and anorexia-sexy I'm going to publish a book called "I owe it all to glued eel", a whirlwind affair with some footballer's ex should see you on Celebrity Big Brother which will get you that access to Kerry Katona's fanny that you've always wanted.

You're welcome.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:45, Reply)

I hear it has rustic wooden floors and a dyson air multiplier

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:48, Reply)

The upkeep on it must be horrendous

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:52, Reply)

selling the excess hydroelectric to the national grid only just offsets the tena lady costs

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:38, Reply)

Griddled polenta with blue cheese
in a wrap with roasted cherry tomato, red onion and a touch of chilli.

Alt:
It won't fit in the hole
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:16, Reply)

This is almost as bent as darths lunch.
(MAX Degrees Bring your Own Balaclava, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:17, Reply)

It was fucking lovely

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:19, Reply)

I like you cow but what you just wrote is bullshit

(MAX Degrees Bring your Own Balaclava, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:20, Reply)

I know not who you are, good sir

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:20, Reply)

It's Bobby, you flid.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:21, Reply)

Member for 4 months and 4 days?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:22, Reply)

I am a flid though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:23, Reply)

Well, we all knew that.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:25, Reply)

*attempts to clap hands*
*smacks own tits instead*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:26, Reply)

Pasta thing from Tesco
I'm currently quite amused at this. For those that can't access it, it's a guy complaining that Tesco dared to follow their own rules when it came to buying alcohol without ID. The rage is hilarious.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:35, Reply)

God I detest 'the customer'.
The spluttering outrage of the completely unreasonable imbecile is something I am no stranger to.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:59, Reply)

The comments people have posted saying "what right do they have to refuse you" piss me off too
IT'S A FUCKING SHOP THEY CAN REFUSE YOU FOR ANY FUCKING REASON THEY WANT
(Bazongaloid, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:00, Reply)

I've had similar. And worse.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:02, Reply)

"I'm sorry Mister Boyce we are unable to sell you this wine"
1. You don't have any ID.
2. It's 8am.
3. You're already extremely drunk.
4. You're not wearing any trousers.
5. This isn't a shop, it's Bethnal Green Tube Station.
6. The tramp who uses that bottle to piss in wants it back.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:25, Reply)

Some should (or maybe already has, can't be bothered to read all the idiotic comments) reply;
"Maybe they didn't refuse you alcohol because of their underage policy, maybe they refused you because you're very obviously a cunt"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:03, Reply)

cheese ploughmans, orange juice and a twix
Tescos meal deal FTW. Or at least the cheap.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:50, Reply)

There is no winner in a tesco meal deal

(Bazongaloid, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:01, Reply)

Wrong: Tesco wins. AGAIN.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:05, Reply)

The Bee Gees'zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:06, Reply)

I put it to you that only some sort of obsessive sandwich fetishist
could tell the difference between something from Tesco and something from, say, Pret, once the packaging is removed.

Rather like the morons who buy gold-plated speaker wire for £50 a foot.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:26, Reply)

Tesco sandwiches are often a little soggy.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:31, Reply)

Baguette with leftover roast chikkon, mayo and sweet chilli sauce.
It was fucking rubbish but I am no longer hungry, and I still have 12p left in the world so WOOHOOOOOOO.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 13:58, Reply)

You're eating Indians?
I know you don't think of them as human, old boy, but that really is beyond the pale.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:02, Reply)

I willpay you 12 more pence to dance like a flid while videoing yourself and then send my the video.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:02, Reply)

THUS DOUBLING MY 'STAKE'!!!!!
That's my kind of profit margin RIGHT HERE!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:03, Reply)

Do that 24 times and you'll be a millionaire.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:07, Reply)

I'm sure I'm not the only one to have brought this up
but that tumbleweed looks like it's massing for an all-out assault
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:01, Reply)

I'm sure this is a really clever comment.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:03, Reply)

I'm sure it's not.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:08, Reply)

I'm sure this is was posted by a gibbering chutnoid.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:03, Reply)

I'm sure it was funny in my head
although as I read it now I'm not sure how on earth that was possible
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:05, Reply)

I'm not sure how on earth you're possible.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:06, Reply)

Mix one part football fan with three parts homo, add a pinch of glitter and a splash of nicky Clarke jizz and voila a Darth.
(MAX Degrees Bring your Own Balaclava, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:08, Reply)

Hello Mum

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:11, Reply)

*offers hairy nipple*
(MAX Degrees Bring your Own Balaclava, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:15, Reply)

Damn you, vivid visual imagination, damn you to hell

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:27, Reply)

I'm sure you should delete your face and shit out your account.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:07, Reply)

This sounds a most complicated undertaking
Do you have some kind of manual or schematic for the process involved
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:11, Reply)

I'm going to have lunch now.
Try not to die of excitement.
Alt: better than fucking any of you losers.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:07, Reply)

Yeah yeah whatever you say. Haven't you got to feed your old man at some point or is he competing today?
(MAX Degrees Bring your Own Balaclava, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:09, Reply)

Competing at what?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:10, Reply)

The monglympics
(MAX Degrees Bring your Own Balaclava, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:11, Reply)

Oh. Sorry, I didn't get that.
No, he isn't. And I've already made him lunch, so there.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:15, Reply)

Did he eat it through a straw

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:33, Reply)

I have a pack of Opal Fruits
Alt: There are no holes in stabbing distance of my penis, soz
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:23, Reply)

I'm listening to Smalltown Boy by Bronski Beat, what are you listening to?

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:33, Reply)

Smalltown Boy by Bronski Beat you fanny

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:33, Reply)

Party Fears Two by Associates now

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:36, Reply)

Oooh I like that one

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 14:36, Reply)