Is there a store bought 'triple sandwich' that doesn't have a foul weak link?
The chicken triple I just got from Asda has a chicken and stuffing one that is utter shitballs.

Alt: You're the happiest type of hap-hap-happy buddy you've ever been....what is the song that'll turn that mood around and slap its cock around your face?

Altalt: What's the worst thing you've put in yourself?
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:07, 71 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

The song that goes
"la la la, you dick, you are shit with apostrophes".
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:08, Reply)

Terrible ninja-ing!
HE WROTE "its' cock" EVERYONE. SHOCKING STUFF.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:10, Reply)

have a sit down love
spelling ain't everything
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:11, Reply)

Yeah it is.
It's all that stands between us and the people you people like to mock.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:12, Reply)

hahaha!

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:12, Reply)

i think that you mean
"Yeah, it is. It's all that stands between us, and the people you like to mock".

Dickhead.
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:14, Reply)

OMG YOUR RITE

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:15, Reply)

putin you on ignore now
soz, nothin personal gotta put everyone on ignore

soz
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:16, Reply)

k'bye xxx

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:16, Reply)

how is the experiment shaping up?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:09, Reply)

*shamefaces*

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:11, Reply)

I've seen horror films that end in less horror than his misplaced a'pos'

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 18:13, Reply)

The foul weak link here is buying sandwiches from Asda.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:09, Reply)

It's in walking distance from my work and they were sold out of the chicken and bacon wrap
..which is very nice
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:11, Reply)

we're having a gay day on spotify tomorrow
lots of queen, scissor sisters, soft cell, erasure and all that
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:10, Reply)

*Leans back in plush seat, looks smug, offers wodge of cash*
I'm in
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:12, Reply)

offers wodge of cash unzips

Hi mate, how's it going?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:14, Reply)

Very well thank you good sir
and yourself? Obvious question time - name your new England top six.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:19, Reply)

Good thanks. Working from home now so that's er...fun. I think.
Sheesh. Tricky one. For test matches?

Cook
Me
Trott
Bell
Bairstow
Taylor

Something like that?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:50, Reply)

So you've no idea who our new opener should be either
Glad it's not just me. Leave Bell at five though I think
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:56, Reply)

Can't you read! Me, FFS.
I suppose the 'benefit' of losing Strauss and KP at once means that there's spaces to be had for decent batsmen out there.

However, I'll do in the meantime.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:59, Reply)

That's a bit discriminatory.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:22, Reply)

it's a celebration of the gays
apparentky saturday is gay pride day or something
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:24, Reply)

Obvious response is obvious
AltAlt: cock. Although I didn't put it in myself per se, so I don't know if it counts. There was very little effort on my part. Although I did ease its passage.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:13, Reply)

There has been deletion, what happened?

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:18, Reply)

Or I'm being ignored by Q-Tip

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:19, Reply)

quentin is ignoring everyone as part of his experingment

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:20, Reply)

Ham, cheese and pickle.
All 3 are perfect.

Alt: 'The Galaxy Song' from The Meaning Of Life.

AltAlt: Either liver, unflavoured Schnapps, or Stroh.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:19, Reply)

I fell asleep to Meaning of Life last night
Around the time of the fake tiger scene. That song is fantastic
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:21, Reply)

It's a poor film, it always seems far too determined to be off the wall for my liking
The conversation sketch and the scene with death at the dinner party are two particularly low points. However, there are a couple of bits that rescue it from being dreadful, the galaxy song being one of them.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:26, Reply)

I think the film is fantastic. The crimson pirate bits outstay their welcome
but the rest is great. In the 'Christmas in Heaven' scene Graham Chapman looks and sounds uncannily like Jeff Goldblum but I've never been able to find anyone to back me up on that one.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:29, Reply)

I think it's just sad when you compare it to the others though

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:34, Reply)

Almost every comedy film ever made is crap compared to the others

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:40, Reply)

This is true.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:42, Reply)

Hahaha in a subthread containing posts by 'Jim Carrey' this is rather pertinent.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:02, Reply)

GETINTHEBACKOFTHEVAN!

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:18, Reply)

Going to have to take issue with the Death thing
It cracks me up every time he says "THE SALMON MOOOOOOOUUUUUSE"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:30, Reply)

Food thread

(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:21, Reply)

Who sung this?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:54, Reply)

the entire cast of b3ta, it's their opening and closing number.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:57, Reply)

the marks and spencer one which has ham and mustard, BLT and prawn
or any of the ones that are variations on sausage egg and bacon.

alt: Fitter, happier.

altalt: something obvious about exs
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:36, Reply)

This is a definite problem.
You'll have to try not being a fatty and only having a normal sized sandwich. Or go the full fatty and have two.

Alt: I don't follow the question - are we saying a song that brings our mood *down* or lifts it *up*?

AltAlt: I wouldn't like to say.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:52, Reply)

Pre-packed sandwiches are without exception shit.
Even the Tesco finest one on grain bread with salt beef, gherkins and English mustard and costs about three quid is at best underwhelming. To be able to cock that one up is an achievement of sorts.

Alt: 'I'm Alive', Don Fardon's version. It is exhuberant in the extreme - and unless I'm mishearing it, slightly racist which always cheers me up.

AltAlt: amphetamine sulphate or ketamine. I tried smoking heroin once but it went wrong and all went up in the air thank God.
EDIT also Romanian plum hooch (called something like halinka) is also utterly, utterly foul.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 16:53, Reply)

i could eat pre packed sandwiches until they spewed from my ears
but I haven't such a refined palette as you
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:02, Reply)

I haven't painted for years, I don't think I even own a palette any more.
OH, 'PALATE'!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:03, Reply)

man, pendantry is hilarious

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:06, Reply)

So is being a sarky shitbag with a fancy new barnet.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:07, Reply)

i ain't had my hair cut yet

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:10, Reply)

HAHAHAHA just seen the populol page
You guys eh !!
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:09, Reply)

IT'S A LARF A MINNIT RAHND ERE.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:11, Reply)

No naked ape = no lols
this is board fact.

also shits changed or summit, I can't put my finger on it, blue borders and crap. Some wanker spods been busy for like months on some worthless shit.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:16, Reply)

It's shit. I hate it. I'm never coming back on here.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:18, Reply)

*dances a jig*

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:20, Reply)

GOD I HATE WANKERS WHO STICK SHIT BETWEEN ** AND THEN I'M SUPPOSED TO IMAGINE THEM DOING THAT VERY ACTION THAT THEY'RE NOT REALLY DOING FOR COMEDIC EFFECT
FUCK OFF
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:22, Reply)

*also hates that*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:24, Reply)

THERES ALOT OF HATE GOING ON HERE AND IN FUCKING CAPITALS AS WELL

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:30, Reply)

oh Rory
your life is so full of rage

*cries*
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:24, Reply)

ITS THE BLIND RAGE OF INJUSTICE

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:30, Reply)

Not fussed myself little cherub *ruffles hair*

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:26, Reply)

*WANKS IN YOUR MUMS HAIR*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:31, Reply)

*does the bartman*

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:41, Reply)

PS we call them 'coons' these days, and going on about their 'natural rhythm' is frowned on.
I won't tell the mods this time but fucken watch it OK.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:25, Reply)

Haha! Y'now what? You're alright you are

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:27, Reply)

Hey everyone, Rory's back!
Welcome back, Rory. Did you miss us?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:13, Reply)

You were supposed to have my back b3th WHERE WERE YOU, I'm gettin srs mod picked on

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:17, Reply)

She's the fucking ringleader. BE WARNED.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:19, Reply)

I'm so sorry, Ror.
It didn't happen on my watch. It was the big boys that done it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:27, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/blazingignorance/post1716213
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:33, Reply)

Hey
I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, etc etc
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:25, Reply)

Alright wankers?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 17:33, Reply)

Store-bought sandwiches ALL have a weak link.
They all have a slime element (mayo/salad cream/ pickle/relish etc) therefore they are all shit.
Alt: White Winos by Loudon Wainwright and/or Still can't say goodbye by Chet Atkins. Eulogy by Frank Turner can be a downer too*
Alt alt: Morphine. Loved it at the time but it's a bugger to get off the stuff.

*Going to a funeral tomorrow, would've loved to played it but the dead guy was way too old to have heard of it.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 18:08, Reply)