I am fed up to the back teeth of these repulsive cybernetic sport-flids already.
They way they parade those hideous flipper-feet things around is revolting. Why don't they have the common decency to at least try to hide their missing limbs/spazzy faces etc? In the good old days disableds were hidden away in shame like that boy in the Secret Garden. If I looked like some freakish kangaroo-man I'd stay at home so I didn't scare children and turn the stomachs of normals.

The Jamaicans have it right. Disabled reggae band Israel Vibration (they were quite good actually) used to struggle to get live bookings because their fellow Rasta bredrins believed them to be unlucky as they were cursed by God. Lol.

What're you up to this weekend?

Alt: Did you catch Tom Holland's superb documentary on Islam the other day (Channel 4)? It was absolutely fascinating, I thought. You should try to catch it if you have the chance.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:21, 121 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Meh, I support them
Makes a change that someone is being respected that ISN'T in some bollocks reality TV show.

BBQ tomorrow at my Lebanese friend's house, should be superb. I think they've got a whole pig going on a spit. After that, into town for a friend's leaving party.

Also, as promised, here is Dozer's holiday home.

EDIT: Sorry, fixed link.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:27, Reply)

You only like them because you are one.
Lebanese grub is superb. As is their delicious golden hashish. Nom.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:28, Reply)

Last BBQ I went to at the house, I was introduced to Arak
This was after huge amounts of beer, and a few bottles of some excellent wine.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:30, Reply)

Their wine can be delicious.
As can Moroccan, which is a bit odd seeing as they are pretty much all muzzers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:35, Reply)

To be honest, the wine they brought out could have been terrible, but by that point we were all already sloshed.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:40, Reply)

oh man
BEST CARAVAN EVER.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:27, Reply)

Alright boyce,
Did you watch the opening ceremony? There was some bizarre disabled band that I'm sure had the lyrics "spasticus autisticus" I haven't watched any of the sport yet though, can't get in to it for some reason, maybe because its channel 4 my brain just won't engage through habit.

I'm playing a gig on Saturday, imagine that. Otherwise it'll all be worky workington.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:38, Reply)

I didn't but my boss went.
That's an Ian Dury song.

Not a fan of Ian Dury, myself. Good luck with your gig. Last gig I played (as opposed to a DJ set) was in Bergen, Norway. I found a photo of that jaunt the other day, it was a great laugh.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:40, Reply)

its been about a year since i've played a gig,
And I won't get to meet the drummer till about half an hour before we go on. Not ideal, but still, its for charity innit.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:04, Reply)

You live in Cumbria?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:41, Reply)

no. should i?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:03, Reply)

Yes - IF YOU'RE SOME KIND OF WANKER!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:03, Reply)

Prozzie kneecap medallion
Good morning scat fiends. Today sees the release of the eye popping Samsara, shit name I know, however it promises to be a cinematic wet dream. Shot in 70mm over 5 years its made by the same celluloid fritters that done Baraka and Koyaanisqatsi. Check your local magic lantern playhouse for screening times. I have armed myself with some herbal cigs and a half day in anticipation.

Not been in here for a while, what have I missed?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:40, Reply)

WELL HELLO THERE!
I saw an ad in the paper for that. Looks great.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:42, Reply)

Morning ya Nazi bastard
Yeah, I try and catch it, definitely one for the big screen, and if possible under the influence of a brew. How's tricks anyways? Hope the ex is playing nicely
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:46, Reply)

Worse than ever, old boy.
Yesterday I set the wheels in motion to take the cunt back to court. I will be representing myself as I am broke. Lolz all round.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:49, Reply)

Sorry to hear that buddy
Can't see what she hopes to gain with such twattery
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:52, Reply)

She is hoping to royally fuck me and my family off.
She is guaranteed to succeed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:53, Reply)

That sounds hideously shit.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:42, Reply)

It really doesn't.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:43, Reply)

Ah, bugger, there was a description on google that just made it sound like hippie bollocks.
Can't find it now.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:46, Reply)

Visually it will be spectacular.
Plus I am almost completely certain that Nick 'Nic' Cage is not involved.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:47, Reply)

That does help with most things
Then again, Con Air was an enjoyable film, as long as you forgot he was actually in it.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:48, Reply)

forgot he was actually in didn't watch
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:49, Reply)

Well
Maybe you would prefer something a little less taxing, I think The Expendable is still showing in the more seamier multiplexes.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:49, Reply)

Expendables 2, you mean?
To be honest, any film desribed as being 'a nonverbal, guided meditation' makes me think it'll be wanky shit.

Who knows, might enjoy it in a few years, but not my thing right now.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:53, Reply)

YEAH GET IT RIGHT CANCE,
THERE ISN'T ACTUALLY EVEN A FILM CALLED 'SUPERMAN ONE' *ACTUALLY*.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:55, Reply)

EXACTLY!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:56, Reply)

HE QUITE CLEARLY KNOWS *NOTHING* ABOUT ‘CINEMA’!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:58, Reply)

I CAN'T BELIEVE ANYONE COULD BE SO STUPID!!!!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:58, Reply)

THANK GOD HE RARELY POSTS ON HERE THESE DAYS.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:59, Reply)

WORSE THAN HITLER, HE IS

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:04, Reply)

I AGREE, MASTER YODA.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:36, Reply)

I think you can still see repeats of 'Art Attack' on YouTube.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:54, Reply)

What time is your race?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:43, Reply)

I'm going to get this off you every day aren't I?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:46, Reply)

The more support you get
The greater the chance of you doing a Henry Kelly.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:48, Reply)

Gunther, you have control of the game.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:50, Reply)

tree

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:05, Reply)

YOU'RE BACK IN PLAY.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:14, Reply)

Oi arm a European Principarlitee

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:32, Reply)

I have borders with Germany, Italy and Fraaaaance.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:33, Reply)

I'm going out tonight. Again. And then out on Sunday night.
And I'm studying during the days.

OH god I'm finally being a proper student.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:53, Reply)

Tut tut.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:53, Reply)

Hey. I had a fucking GREAT time last night.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:54, Reply)

Good work, young lady.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:56, Reply)

why thank you.
I totally got some.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:58, Reply)

Splendid.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:00, Reply)

oh for pity's sake
i feel i speak for the whole board when i say that we categorically DO NOT want to hear that you're messaging on the internet with some filthy aus cum dribbling out of your chimpmouth
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:07, Reply)

i would like to show my support for this statement.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:08, Reply)

i've just had my breakfast widny, it's too early for this shit

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:15, Reply)

i'm waiting for the Dray.
They are late.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:17, Reply)

Oh man I forgot about Dray.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:19, Reply)

what dray?

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:28, Reply)

the dray with all my beer.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:32, Reply)

beer dray is an anagram of drear bey

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:36, Reply)

You make it sound so romantic.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:33, Reply)

I'm pretty certain that if this board had any fat sweaty internet shut-ins they would disagree with this
Good job they steer clear of this place, isn't it?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:35, Reply)

CANDLE!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:36, Reply)

\o/

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:49, Reply)

i had 2 wanks
and tricky saw malc's cock this morning, he described it as 'large'
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:38, Reply)

good for malc.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:39, Reply)

better for Tricky

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:43, Reply)

candle.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:38, Reply)

I resent that. I employ only the safest measures whilst engaging in sexual shenanigans and therefore did not have any "aus cum dribbling" to worry about .

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:48, Reply)

You swallowed it all?
It's a bugger to get out of the carpet.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:54, Reply)

Fair play, haha
Same with me, went down to the local, had a couple of games of pool, and a few beers. Still pissed off that I was about to 5 ball someone in pool, but with the shot that potted the black, I hit the white off the table.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:57, Reply)

hello

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 8:58, Reply)

Hello Quentin.
How's the experiment going?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:25, Reply)

dammit tangles!
you just couldn't leave well enough alone
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:27, Reply)

Soz Q
I'm a born meddler.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:32, Reply)

i'm gonna put you on double-ignore 2.1

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:34, Reply)

:'(((((

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:38, Reply)

i'm not interested in the paralympics
i liked the olympic opening ceremony, and enjoyed the sport for about 5 minutes but then the novelty wore off and i realised it was just sport, so if the paralympics had run at the same time as the main one i might have watched it, but not now.

out tonight, helping a friend fix up his bike tomorrow and then hopefully riding pillion like kelly macgillis from Top Gun.

Alt nope
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:00, Reply)

what bike?
What's wrong with it? What are you doing on the bitch seat?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:07, Reply)

it's a raleigh chopper, broken innertube, holding on tight, for LOVE

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:14, Reply)

i thought you meant a motorbike.
Pedalling is for cunts and Londoners.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:16, Reply)

fine it's a Honda R-1 or a Yamaha RX or some shit like that
i dunno, it's blue or something though
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:18, Reply)

you're a top flight mechanic i can tell.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:21, Reply)

we're going to put it upside down on his front gartden and remove the tires with old spoons

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:22, Reply)

I can't see anything wrong with this course of action.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:28, Reply)

I watched some of the basketball yesterday
It was fucking brutal!

I have taped your Lost Nazi thingy off Channel 5 last night and will watch it this weekend.

Tonight is one of our apprentices leaving do, where I will drink copious amounts of lager. Tomorrow I have: standby support, a 3 year old's party and the chiropractor to look forward to.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:07, Reply)

SHIT.
I got pissed and forgot to watch it - and didn't tape it either. SHITBOLLOCKS.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:09, Reply)

If I can figure out technology at chez 'cow I'll stick it on a DVD for you?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:11, Reply)

Oh yes please

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:15, Reply)

I'll have a go at the weekend

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:19, Reply)

You are Glenn Hoddle AICMFP

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:14, Reply)

Who?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:15, Reply)

Oh, the pop singer.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:16, Reply)

Football manager that claimed that it was karma that people were crippled, or something like that.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:23, Reply)

I THINK MONTY IS PLAYING A JOLLY JAPE ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:25, Reply)

OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE HE GOT ME AGAIN LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:26, Reply)

What AA said
He lost his job as England manager for saying that disableds were being punished for sins in a former life. I personally think that Diamond Lights also had some bearing on it.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:24, Reply)

Sounds like what their mothers were smoking whilst they were pregnant.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:25, Reply)

you so jelly cause you're a smelly tramp!!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:28, Reply)

I'm telling the mods on you for that.
YOU WILL BE SORRY.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:33, Reply)

MODS ALL BE SHITCUNT BITCHES
SHED LYFE 4EVA
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:33, Reply)

He really is a smelly tramp
Can you ask him to stop grabbing my ankles while I'm trying to kick him in to the drainage ditch by the canal, getting greasy hand prints on my trouser cuffs.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:34, Reply)

always off his tits on spesh and eating out of bins.
I saw him wanking over a dead pigeon the other day, what a fucking smelly tramp.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:36, Reply)

M
....O
....D
....S
....!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:37, Reply)

i saw him under the bridge with smelly sarah,
Noshing her off for a night in a sleeping bag.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:37, Reply)

LISTEN I JUST LOST A CONTACT LENS YEAH?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:38, Reply)

that's my mrs you're talking about
watch it, pal
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:38, Reply)

is that the one with the wonky eyes and no teeth?
christ, I don't think he can sink any lower.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:39, Reply)

apparently her left leg is false bow the knee.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:40, Reply)

I heard he likes to pop her sores into his mouth.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:54, Reply)

If I have no interested in people who can walk running races around a field,
Then I don't see why I would have any interest in people who can't doing the same.
As previously mentioned, I am off to the Isle of Wight this weekend, for lolsaplenty on the beach with the little knots.
The drive down is likely to be hard work, as I was up between 3am-6am with a baby who could sleep quite soundly on my shoulder, but would scream bloody murder if she was lain down.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:31, Reply)

You sick nonce filth.
Plus, ITEM 3
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:34, Reply)

It's ok, I'm safe now - I'm in a nonce ring with one of the top mods.
Sorry
Can't mention
Any names.
Really, it's better
You
Don't know
Understand, it
Could get me in trouble.
K?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:45, Reply)

I just snapped my mouse in half clicking this SO HARD.
This is your best post ever.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:46, Reply)

If I delete my account and kill myself now, I could go out on a high.
Or I could just hang around getting fatter and shitter as each year passes.
Option two does seem to be the more popular choice.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:50, Reply)

Let's hope the popular page has started working again, then

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:51, Reply)

Paralympics sounds all tough and hard.
With yomping and jumping out of planes, all the atheletes looking like Captain Hurricane.
It should be called the Flidlympics, which is more accurate.

This weekend, I'll be going to see my old mum. To see if she's dead yet.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:42, Reply)

I can spare you the bother. She is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:45, Reply)

She's a bit of a mess, truth be told.
Seeing her lying there like that, I couldn't resist having one last go on her.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:48, Reply)

You just want her money, you gigolo.
But its mine I tell you.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:55, Reply)

- 40%

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:56, Reply)

Haha.
I can't wait to tell my even more avaricious sister that the tax man is going to take a chunk.

I'm such a cunt.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:58, Reply)

Morning hippy. Can't beat a good morning rant against "others".
I can't possibly comment on islam, as I'll be called racist. Even though Islam is a religion, not a race. Funny old world. Didn't catch the film, no, I'll try 4oD.
I'm off to a gallery opening tonight, basically a metaphor for getting pissed on the free wine, and trying to ponce work off people. Barbie tomorrow, not the Klaus type, but burning meat. Oh wait...
Speaking of disability, what do you think of the accusations against Atos, the French company assigned by DWP to kick people off benefits, of hypocrisy? They're sponsoring the paralympics.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:49, Reply)

I hope they kick my ex off benefits.
She could do with a bit of reality.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 9:58, Reply)

morning Montepulciano
Read an interesting thing yesterday basically saying the main problem with Christianity is the Christians you get these days. www.esquire.com/features/best-and-brightest-2009/shane-claiborne-1209#ixzz253wy3Hd6
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 10:05, Reply)

Happy candle day
Happy with the league cup draw?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 10:08, Reply)

We've got a team we know we can beat comfortably
can't argue with that. You?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 10:10, Reply)

U HAZ A CANDUL!!!!!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 10:17, Reply)