long thread is long
it's sunny today and i am drafting a very boring letter. i would love to be sailing a boat somewhere on choppy seas in the sunshine. however, i have no boat, and i can't sail. what skill/sport would you love to acquire?

alt: have you ever dyed your hair? what colour?

altalt: best mid-morning snack?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:38, 219 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Bitch.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:38, Reply)

You dyed your hair "bitch"?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:41, Reply)

She stomped me.
My questions are better than hers.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:42, Reply)

she's got chebs, though
So my money's on this thread succeeding.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:43, Reply)

Good point.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:44, Reply)

hey, your moobs are just as luscious and juicy

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:04, Reply)

+ hairy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:09, Reply)

hey
i had my burgernips lasered, now they're smoother than your mum's ringpiece
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:12, Reply)

i like chebs

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:59, Reply)

I like big chebs, and I cannot lie.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:04, Reply)

ZZ Top's more risqueZZZZZZ

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:44, Reply)

Yours are about politics
This means Chompy will be the only person who responds
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:43, Reply)

He has.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:44, Reply)

... and the only person who doesn't respond to this one, heh

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:04, Reply)

cos he's got you on lolignore
dur
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:07, Reply)

ah well
back to perving on his "girlfriend's" mates on fb for half an hour for him
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:10, Reply)

do you reckon he has wanks when he thinks about her grinding other men?

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:17, Reply)

dear god
there is quite literally nothing on this planet i would less rather think about than any part of that scenario. fucking unbelievably rank.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:19, Reply)

that's a yes then

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:20, Reply)

well now it is
damn your evil brain and his sweaty gurning moonface
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:23, Reply)

i heard he still shouts your name in bed,

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:27, Reply)

you've had him too, WP?

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:31, Reply)

quentin? or psycho?
(they were both shit, btw)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:32, Reply)

eh?
you think we've had sex? poor swipe's delusions are becoming all to real, i fear
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:33, Reply)

who said anything about sex?
animal
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:34, Reply)

"he still shouts your name in bed"
"they were both shit"

i don't understand why if you were fantasising about me you would fantasise that my performance was poor, you must have esteem issues
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:39, Reply)

now now, i just assumed WP meant in his nightmares
and he is shit (moonface, not WP). you're the one whose mind is rolling around the gutter.

i don't need to fantasise that your performance is poor though; gonz told me that you suck cock like a vegetarian on a hotdog.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:41, Reply)

THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENS

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:43, Reply)

tricky told me that malc told him because he overheard louise telling tracey in the bogs
when he was in there wanking into your mum's handbag

clearer?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:48, Reply)

kind of, yeah

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:52, Reply)

I don't know why she didn't just say that in the first place.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:04, Reply)

i like to keep my gossip powder dry

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:08, Reply)

The ability to have a 10 minute nap without feeling like I'd downed 10 pints
That would be a good skill

Alt:
Yep, blond. Went from 2' long dark brown curly hair to blonde 1" long hair

AltAlt:
BACAINE
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:42, Reply)

In response to your alt
Are you sure you aren't me?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:45, Reply)

*checks*
Nope, I'm fairly sure I'm me
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:56, Reply)

I'll teach you to sail, sweetie.
I'd like to be better in powder. Either on skis or with Monty.

alt: bleached it for a few years. probably explains why I've got none now.

altalt: the best mid-morning snack is nothing, as by only actually eating at mealtimes you stand a better chance of not turning into a housewhale IME.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:45, Reply)

I bet she doesn't reply. She has a track record in starting threads but not then participating.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:46, Reply)

I think she doesn't believe me.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:48, Reply)

i had a client who rudely wanted advice
how dare he.

i would sooooo take you up on the sailing thing. damn the hundreds of miles between us.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:05, Reply)

I would love to be able to skratch
Alt- I had my hair bleached when I was 17. It went gingery in places. Chicks still dug it, so I was all like 'phew!'.

Alt alt- walnuts and a banana.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:46, Reply)

I HAVE DELETED MY THREAD EVEN THOUGH IT HAD MUCH BETTER QUESTIONS THAN THIS SHIT.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:47, Reply)

EMBRACE THE ANGER.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:47, Reply)

What questions did it include?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:48, Reply)

don't stop there

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:48, Reply)

yeah, carry on, Quints is on the vinegars.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:51, Reply)

I'm spent

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:58, Reply)

* offers tissues *

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:58, Reply)

How kind

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:59, Reply)

When I was a kid I dyed my hair pillar box red
It looked awesome up until the point it started to fade. Then it went pink. Proper, full on pink. I wanted to die. Dye.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:48, Reply)

this is the first time i have ever used this particular sweaty handed expression, but...
POIDH
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:06, Reply)

Oh blimey
My Mum might have one maybe. I certainly don't have a piccie to hand.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:07, Reply)

I would love to be able to draw.
I can't draw for toffee, sex or cold hard cash, hence my interest in producing dark graphic novel-style images from photos I take, which also expresses my dark, brooding, moody but complex and interesting personality.

Alt: All sorts of colours - blond, red, green, purple.

Altalt: a banana - delicious, healthy, comes wrapped in disposable wrapper, easy to eat while doing something else.

Downside is as a man you have to take manly bites fast and chunkily or you look like you're a gay.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:52, Reply)

Go away.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:11, Reply)

No.
Fuck you.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:18, Reply)

sorry, go away please

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:28, Reply)

Good boy.
But I'm afraid the answer is still no, fuck you.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:37, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzxOAUKCUA4&feature=youtube_gdata_player
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:44, Reply)

Youtube is gay.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:51, Reply)

No it isn't.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:57, Reply)

look vag,
You're a smug, idiotic prick. Go back to /qotw and post more lies, and slay some trolls and feel self satisfied, and leave us in peace.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:57, Reply)

But watching you get so upset arouses me.
Is that so wrong?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:05, Reply)

christ vag,
I'm not upset, I'm merely stating the fact that everyone else I've met here on /ot seems like an alright sort, we have plmdzr who is w huge hit with the ladies, Monty the token tramp whose knowledge of obscure music is worrying, tangles is a top bloke, cavy likes to dress up as a crow and get muddy, TH is a balding middle aged man with a heart of gold, swipey is a feisty lady but lovely, quints is probably mental but ace, AA is a dark lover of the rock, popper the loveable bonkers Aussie, and everyone else I can't list em all, and seem despite being disparate, and from different backgrounds and ages and everything else, all get along and seem like the sort of people I'd enjoy a pint with. You come across as a smug wanker with a chip on his shoulder.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:25, Reply)

You should listen to Windy Pig - he has some excellent advice for you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:51, Reply)

Stop whining, Neil.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:57, Reply)

I'll stop whining if you stop breathing.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:59, Reply)

Oh well.
Why not simply put me on ignore, then?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:05, Reply)

Why not simply go away?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:09, Reply)

Why should I?
I've as much right to be here as you do. Besides, you like to think of yourself as bullying me, so, really, I'm doing you a favour.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:11, Reply)

Nothin gives you the right to touch me there, NOTHING!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:30, Reply)

How can something that feels so right be wrong?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:35, Reply)

You've every right to repeatedly fail to take the hint that people think you're a flid
and by 'hint' I mean 'repeatedly state it clearly' and to return here over and over again to hoots of derision and mockery.

Every right in the world. I merely question the wisdom of exercising it, that's all.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:35, Reply)

I'd like to be able to sing and dance, that'd be nice.
Alt: Several colours, blond, blue, black, red, black-blue, black-red, brown, and maybe one or two others, can't remember.

AltAlt: Either bacon, or nothing. Trying to stop snacking again, not fun!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:54, Reply)

My lunch has been eaten today
The tapeworm has re-emerged
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:58, Reply)

You should've tried to pull him out when he did.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:59, Reply)

I've got a homemade BBQ pork & tomato dish for lunch, having that with a jacket potato
Looking forward to it already.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:59, Reply)

I would love to be able to sing.
I think people around me would love it if I could sing, too, as they have to listen to my constant tuneless caterwauling.

Alt: Yes, pretty much every colour possible.

AltAlt: Chocolate flapjack. Or any kind of oat-based chewy thing with chocolate on the top.

I haven't had any breakfast, and I'm hungry : (
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:55, Reply)

It'd be quite handy to have the skill to fix things
Rather than having to call my dad, or employ some workman I neither understand nor trust.

Alt: Nope.

Altalt: Samosas, pakoras & bhajis with lots of imli in which to dip them.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:59, Reply)

there's a lot of stuff in the news lately about FUCKWITS getting drowned by being FUCKWITS near the sea
how come the news keeps going 'oh no, this poor people and their poor kids was on the rocks out at the sea and fell in the sea and omg died'

instead of going 'FUCKWITS keep doing FUCKWIT things and getting themselves killed by the sea'?

how come?
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:59, Reply)

Because people can't take responsibility for being fuckwits any more.
If the state-manipulated media convinces us that we're all too incompetent to live, we'll hand over power to to the state, piece by shiny piece.

Then, by the time we're completely state-controlled in every area of our pathetic lives, we'll be too scared to do anything about it, because we'll have been brainwashed into thinking that we'd never survive without them.

WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:05, Reply)

fucks sake b3th, even for a mod that was shit

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:08, Reply)

Innit.
Like those wankers who go up Snowdon in a fucking t shirt. Let them die or bill them for rescue I say.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:05, Reply)

YES!
kerazy kev told us about this guy he knew who went biking in the alps, got lost and has to pay £12000 to the swiss government for dispatch of their rescue helicopter.

what a prick
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:09, Reply)

Haha, oh that kerazy kev

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:10, Reply)

That's sounds like Kev all over!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:57, Reply)

That's just the sort of crazy thing that Kerazy Kev would say though, isn't it?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:10, Reply)

i'll be honest here, it wasn't kerazy kev
it was Tracey, and the man was her husband. i'm sorry for lying
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:14, Reply)

but you said yesterday that there was no tracey

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:16, Reply)

no i said there was no louise
which was also a lie, louise is sitting to my left talking to kerazy kev
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:18, Reply)

I'M SO CONFUSED

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:18, Reply)

try not to worry yourself, petal
just go with the flow
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:19, Reply)

ahaha
the sahara has more flow in this particular circumstance
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:26, Reply)

Alt: dyed it black at school and was up before the year head within 24hrs to see if I was 'on drugs'.
Funnily enough at that age I found it extremely difficult to get any so the honest answer was no. However I was perceived as 'cool' for it*.

Altalt: I don't really do snacks


*by me
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:00, Reply)

Wasn't that done because you'd already gone grey?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:01, Reply)

No.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:06, Reply)

Morning all, without b3ta I am well bored
I would like to be a better freestyle snowboarder, that's jumps and grinds to you squares.

Alt: no I'm not bent

Altalt: I'm sat next to 4 boxes of monster munch and just had some flamin hot
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:01, Reply)

hello we miss youuuuuuuuuu

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:06, Reply)

Really they should shut OT down in protest

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:09, Reply)

sackcloth and ashes
are there any original beef in those boxes?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:11, Reply)

Not sure, I have quavers though

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:15, Reply)

quavers are a bit cheesy for me
cheesy crisps are WRONG, unless they are fancy, like goats cheese and red chilli jam flavour, or something.

what about skips? i love a bit of skips action.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:17, Reply)

No skips soz
Although I now also have some chocolate animal crackers!!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:26, Reply)

ffs
you sound you're at a kid's birthday party

why wasn't i invited?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:26, Reply)

You failed the checks for fraternising with uber nonce Bobby

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:32, Reply)

"uber-nonce"
nice
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:33, Reply)

i might go for a piss

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:09, Reply)

As a snack?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:10, Reply)

yeah sure why not
lolwaki
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:13, Reply)

I'm a big fan of motorboating
alt: no
altalt: bloody mary
( broadsword w⚓, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:01, Reply)

shit thread

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:04, Reply)

THIS CUTS ME DEEP

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:06, Reply)

What's going on Q?
I have to admit to not fully understanding why /talk is eating itself.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:07, Reply)

bound to happen eventually
lots of very bored folks just venting some frustration i think
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:07, Reply)

Yeah, doing nothing all day and all night must become very frutrating after a while

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:10, Reply)

its your fault.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:10, Reply)

Thing is, right
Is that when a kid breaks a toy for a laugh, it doesn't realise how stupid the idea was until they realise they have no toys left.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:11, Reply)

there's plenty of other internet out there
breaking /talk isn't going to change much
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:15, Reply)

Haha
yeah
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:16, Reply)

why do you think i spend most of my online time across here now.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:16, Reply)

Indeed

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:17, Reply)

because you're ONE OF US

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:17, Reply)

It happens to the best of us, WP

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:35, Reply)

Because I am 'way cool'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:56, Reply)

ay cool indy pigs gay lover
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:00, Reply)

Well, that as well, obv.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:04, Reply)

I'd like to learn to ski,
I did some ski seasons as a chalet boy (in the kitchen cheffing, not doing the rounds) but was too pissed every day to learn to ski, regret that now as I couldn't afford a ski resort holiday.

Alt. Nope.

Altalt: Pork pie with mustard. Best snack anytime of day.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:09, Reply)

my friend lives near a new gastro pub that just opened in streatham
(of all previously unlikely places for a gastro pub) and for the first week, their kitchen wasn't up and running. so all they had was a range of pork pies that you could choose from.

not so good if you HATE meat :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:11, Reply)

It'll be closed by the end of the year.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:14, Reply)

it has competition from the pub down the road
which has a massive beer garden and a "crab shack" - basically an outdoor kitchen separate to the main menu that does a massive range of seafood and chips. great idea, the place is always rammed.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:18, Reply)

Baby, that's where its at

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:22, Reply)

i loathe seafood
i had some cheese. it was lush.

*unwraps 125 calorie "lunch"*

*sighs*
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:24, Reply)

Steak pie for this cow

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:25, Reply)

cannibal

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:32, Reply)

You're doing that fucking idiotic starvation diet again, aren't you?
Jesus, woman, you don't learn. *shakes head sadly*
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:40, Reply)

i am that
just for a month though, as an end-of-summer kickstart.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:42, Reply)

it's affecting her cognitive abilities, prickname

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:47, Reply)

that's genetics

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:49, Reply)

case in point, you'd have come up with something wittier than that if you weren't starving your brain

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:51, Reply)

i don't want my brain to shrink
it's my tummy i dislike
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:54, Reply)

your brain needs food too

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:55, Reply)

Starvation is good for the brain
The body goes "bloody hell, I'm not getting enough food, I must be too stupid to remember where those berries were" and makes some new neurons.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:56, Reply)

i hope this is true

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:56, Reply)

i get dizzy if i don't have a sandwich at 3.30

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:56, Reply)

That's new empty braincells coming online

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:57, Reply)

ARE YOU A DOCTOR?

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:01, Reply)

Yes*
*no.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:04, Reply)

then how do you know these things?

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:06, Reply)

THE INTERNETS
If it's on the internet it must be true.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:21, Reply)

Non vegetarians can substitute "rotting mammoth carcass" for "berries"

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:56, Reply)

Does it fuck.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:26, Reply)

I'm going to run and run with this one
mostly because it annoys Al, but you're a bonus too.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 13:26, Reply)

Any idea if the owners are pub people?
Or people who think running a pub is a good idea but have no idea. If the latter, I give them 6 months.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:24, Reply)

i think it's a small chain of about 3 pubs
so they probably know their stuff a bit
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:25, Reply)

I can never eat a whole pork pie, no matter how small it is
I eat about a quarter, then give up. What's all that about eh?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:13, Reply)

homo?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:15, Reply)

THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT
Just because I find men attractive and long to have sex with one, doesn't make me a homosexual.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:18, Reply)

Anyway, what where we talking about?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:20, Reply)

i agree with you two hats, thinking about and being aroused by the idea of shagging men doesn't make you gay
i do it all the time but i still love my girlfriend and i'm not gay
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:23, Reply)

Sex is sex is sex
It's the 21st century, etc.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:26, Reply)

Sailing would be good...
or archery, always fancied a do at that after trying it on holiday once.

alt: nope, and at the rate things are going there won't be enough left to be worth trying it.

altalt: Bacon, sausage and egg barm.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:13, Reply)

I'd love to be able to play the guitar like my heroes - John Fahey, John Gomm, Andy McKee, Newton Faulkner and the awesome Tommy Emmanuel
Alt:Yes
Altalt: Tea and biscuits
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:15, Reply)

Newton Faulkner's first album was excellent.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:23, Reply)

excellent dire
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:24, Reply)

Correct.
He looks like my pal Yeti used to as well. Not a good look.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:54, Reply)

I agree
He is somewhat of a whizz with an acoustic guitar. Shame he can't use shampoo or a comb though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:24, Reply)

i liked this

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:30, Reply)

go away.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:30, Reply)

AltAlt: Nah

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:29, Reply)

Sodium hydride snack?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:33, Reply)

Sailing is amazing. even a little dinghy ta sea is fun.
Sea fishing is ace, however as you suffer from vegetarianism, you probably wouldn't enjoy. The taste of something freshly caught is ace.
Alt, black, in a gothic eyeliner period of my life. I looked a twat.
Alt alt, mingeburger and chips.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:31, Reply)

a catamaran in the caribbean
is my favourite place to be in the world.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:32, Reply)

They're allowed multihulls in the Americas Cup this year.
Multihulls. IMAGINE. The fucking heathens.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:39, Reply)

hmmm
but do they look pretty, and could i drape myself over one of the hulls with a bellini in my hand?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:42, Reply)

Multihulls are pretty hard to relax on
well, proper ones. They tend to be at fairly obscene angles. They are, however, "well fast"

and sexy.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:43, Reply)

hard, obscene, fast and sexy
i can get on board with that
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:49, Reply)

quite so, quite so.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:51, Reply)

although, if you could manage
to drape yourself over this with a bellini suffice to say I would be impressed.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:50, Reply)

omg
that's fucking awesome
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:54, Reply)

I'm sure I've got a picture somewhere of me doing similar
on a Hoby in Maritius. Probably.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:05, Reply)

show me show me show me
please?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:07, Reply)

I'll have a look. but I'm not very good at organising my old pictures.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:09, Reply)

Hello 'Rio'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:44, Reply)

*dances on sand*

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:48, Reply)

I was gutted when it turned out I didn't like the taste of the mackerel I'd just fucking caught

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:40, Reply)

malc lives on mackerel

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:41, Reply)

bender.
Mackerel is lush.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:41, Reply)

That's interesting
I like Mackerel too. Hmm.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:44, Reply)

I was really annoyed by it, we'd caught it only an hour previously, prepared it all correctly, cooked it on the BBQ
And it turned out I just don't like mackerel. Bastard.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:49, Reply)

Buying a frozen one from Waitrose is NOT the same as a rod and line.
Morning Aa, how's you? Got your bash pants prepared?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:45, Reply)

When and where is September mega bash?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:48, Reply)

If only there was like a calendar section on here or something.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:53, Reply)

Lol, I'm already signed up

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:54, Reply)

You won't turn up you bent liar. More's the pity.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:54, Reply)

You never know your lucky Boyce me old mucka*
* prob don't get your hopes up too much
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:01, Reply)

Anyone would think that you didn't want your wife to find out that you spend all day talking to a bunch of idiots on the internet instead of working.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:03, Reply)

No*
*yes
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:06, Reply)

Go on, son. It'll be a good lark.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:03, Reply)

I will genuinely see what I can do

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:06, Reply)

Is the answer:
Nothing, Mrs Ape rules with a rod of iron?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:07, Reply)

Are you suggesting Mrs Ape has some kind of medieval dildo she uses to discipline Nakers?
ARE YOU?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:11, Reply)

Precisely that, yes.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:13, Reply)

We're going for a curry late afternoon
so you could pop over for that if not for the MECHA-LASHUP?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:10, Reply)

Dear Monty,
I would very much like to eat some curry at around 5.30pm on this date, possibly with some like-minded 'world' music fans.
Please can you fix it for me for this to come true?

Yours,
tangledupinblue

PS See you at WOMAD
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:16, Reply)

SEE YOU THERE!!!!!!!!!
Me and my 'African drumming circle' pals cannot wait to meet you at last.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:37, Reply)

Morning Pookie
Aye, still got a while to wait though, I'm hoping to shift at least one of my chins before it, so there won't be as many photos like this afterwards.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:51, Reply)

Fat cunt. Go on a Rachelswipe starvation diet and die.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:09, Reply)

was it any better than the tkmaxx looking a twat stage of your life?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:42, Reply)

Good morning Rory.
How are you this fine morning?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:45, Reply)

if you sweep away the empty cans of super kestrel, wank socks and chip wrappers from the bedside clock you'll see that it's just about afternoon !!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:48, Reply)

psychochomp is getting upset and deleteing on /talk
:'(
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 11:59, Reply)

Have you been talking about his gf again?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:04, Reply)

i refused to bring it up for fear of getting banned

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:05, Reply)

Is his gf a shed?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:07, Reply)

old men fiddle about in them, don't they?

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:09, Reply)

Who's cock do you think Jeremy hunt sucked to become health secretary?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:00, Reply)

Theresa May's

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:02, Reply)

Maybe he has blackmail pics of Cameron or something?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:03, Reply)

Fatima Whitbread's

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:08, Reply)

mine.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:15, Reply)

Everyone's

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:22, Reply)