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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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where did y'all go?
I've got a craving for mushroom and cheese quiche today. or the strong cheddar and balsamic onion one that higgedy make. however, I am consoling myself with a cup of vegetable soup and a freezing cold diet coke. if you could be eating anything right now, what would it be? go on, you know you love a good food thread.

alt: so battered is going to saw my tits off. good good, cheaper than a boob reduction. how would you threaten another b3tan?

altalt: where's b3th these days? not seen her in a while...
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:36, 213 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
I went to go an post a bot dog to Bob Crow's widow
I also sent tangles some testicles
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:37, Reply)
The ones from your wife's handbag?

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:41, Reply)
the very same

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:41, Reply)
maybe add some hand cream
they must get sore with all that wringing
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:44, Reply)
he'll need some industrial axle grease

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:45, Reply)
man, i wanna go to one of these
www.buzzfeed.com/kimberleydadds/this-is-what-british-themed-parties-look-like-around-the-wor
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:46, Reply)
i do not

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:57, Reply)
Buzzfeed is shit

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:59, Reply)
altalt: she got stuck on the bog and her flesh has grown around the seat

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:37, Reply)
eww

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:39, Reply)
I have a vague feeling that this has happened
I am sure I read about it in t'news
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:47, Reply)
Dunno
I'd just this second posted a thread but it'll wait. I have 3 massive rump steaks that I'm craving but they are at home and I had a ham sarnie. Not good

Alt:
I ent the threatening type

AltAlt:
Probably work but i'm sure I saw her post this morning
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:38, Reply)
Côte de boeuf, rare, with steamed spinach, mushrooms au gratin & jacket potato.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:39, Reply)
I'm in for this

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:41, Reply)
me too
it'll be a beefy manage et tois!
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:43, Reply)
ménage à trois, spastique plié

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:45, Reply)
I dont like mixing french and english so can I just have a beef rib please

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:46, Reply)
Nothing, I've not long since had lunch.
Alt: I don't threaten people.
Altalt: She has you on 2.0
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:40, Reply)
altalt: AS IF

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:43, Reply)
obligatory YM

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:44, Reply)
wrong board for cartoon noncery

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:46, Reply)
That's it, you people have held me back for long enough - I'm off to clown college
www.nationalcircus.org.uk/
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:44, Reply)
a nice creamy blue cheese with a light whisky to go with it
And some parmesan shavings drizzled with honey.
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:48, Reply)
having said that
What I would most like in my mouth right now is one of Sian Williams's feet.
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:50, Reply)
You disgust me

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:52, Reply)
meh, they'd taste exactly like his parmesan

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:53, Reply)
I think he should talk to a psychologist
www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/sian-williams-swaps-breakfast-telly-3224935
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:53, Reply)
she's gorgeous, isn't she?

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:54, Reply)
She is very pretty, yes

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:56, Reply)
Rachel Riley
odds on to replace Reid on bbc breakfast
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:57, Reply)
good shout

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:58, Reply)
Certainly something I could get behind

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:01, Reply)
I like wanking over the news as well

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:01, Reply)
\0/

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:02, Reply)
she is extremely plain and has as an eye that's lazier than placid

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:00, Reply)
Susannah Reid is much more attractive.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:02, Reply)
Riley is single again apparently. \o/

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:01, Reply)
Lisa?
You make me sick
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:03, Reply)
The mere thought of that fat mess has made me have a bit of vomit in my mouth.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:04, Reply)
Mmm yeah baby

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:14, Reply)
Fucks sake

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:18, Reply)
Having to hide an office bongle again eh sporters

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:21, Reply)
INORITE

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:23, Reply)
You're deffo in with a chance there, mate

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:03, Reply)
She pretty much said that angry short men
get her slicker than greased eel
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:05, Reply)
Excellent.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:06, Reply)
even lisa'd rather seal her own minge shut with a soldering iron than go there

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:06, Reply)
Please stop gazing me pictures of your minge. I already know what the channel tunnel entrance looks like.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:07, Reply)
It would take a fucking arc welder and at least 4 ft of sheet steel
not a soldering iron
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:10, Reply)
great body as well

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:59, Reply)
She seems to be a bit of a Jonah. Look how many disasters she's been involved with.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:02, Reply)
more or less than me?

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:54, Reply)
You know I love you, baby

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:00, Reply)
BLEURGHH

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:53, Reply)
WT actual fuck?!
They look like nougat!
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:54, Reply)
vegetarianism is fucking wrong

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:54, Reply)
Fakon
smells fucking awful too
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:56, Reply)
i heard it smells like your mum's weeping piss hole

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:57, Reply)
Even worse

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 13:58, Reply)
The Quorn ones are the worst
Bacony belches for the rest of the day :(
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:00, Reply)
bacon flavoring is weird like that
crisps are bad as well
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:01, Reply)
Oh thank God, I thought it was just me.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:04, Reply)
Nope it's a baked ape fact

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:06, Reply)
i read that as "morning farts"

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:05, Reply)
Best of all the farts
I reckon I could fart for a good 10 seconds on a morning
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:14, Reply)
going to see coriolanus tonight
woohoo.
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:01, Reply)

corio Frog's
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:02, Reply)
Trombone lols

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:03, Reply)
Whaa whaaa whaaaaaaaaaaa!

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:03, Reply)
Mind piss
www.sadtrombone.com/
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:04, Reply)
you and me think so alike

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:05, Reply)
i say
I know tangles is a disgusting human being, but that's a bit fucking harsh
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:05, Reply)
You leave my brother alone

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:09, Reply)
watch this

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:11, Reply)

thin loo
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:11, Reply)
GROSS
i'm having a bit of culture, thank you v much.

as is the osprey to the fish, who takes it by sovereignty of nature.
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:04, Reply)

by sovereignty of nature up the gary
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:05, Reply)

culture, thank you v much.
as is the osprey to the fish, who takes it by sovereignty of nature.


a rimming session, I just hope frog has remember to douche this time i hate sweetcorn
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:05, Reply)
Hahahaha

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:06, Reply)
sigh
what is it with supposedly straight men and anal?
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:06, Reply)
For what it's worth, I have no interest in other people's bumholes and I'd prefer if mine was left alone too.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:08, Reply)
:(

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:09, Reply)
It's ok, we can do other things

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:11, Reply)
Jason will be devastated when he finds this out.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:09, Reply)
Either that or getting the ol roofies ready

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:11, Reply)
On the contrary to both.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:27, Reply)
yer
well, I said "straight men", so...
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:11, Reply)
No straight men on here
no, wait....
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:23, Reply)
Weird innit?
Just stick a finger up while you wank. It's not gay
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:24, Reply)
anyway, he doesn't eat sweetcorn so much as fucking PEAS
fuck I hate peas
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:07, Reply)
how can you HATE peas
they're relaly not very strong tasting
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:15, Reply)
All he is saying is
GIVE PEAS A CHANCE
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:15, Reply)
LTI>

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:20, Reply)
\o/

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:22, Reply)
Oh I say. Straight to the boundary.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:23, Reply)
\o/ \o/ \o/ \o/

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:24, Reply)
Well this tells us rather more than we needed to know

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:15, Reply)
They ent peas

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:18, Reply)
HIYA!
I had a cup a soup too. Minestrone it called itself.
Rendang all the way. Beef noms.
I also like chicken in Harissa spices, Im cooking that tonight. Has to be marinaded though so the flavour is soaked in.

alt. I'ma lover, not a fighter. Can't say any of you lot really threaten me to the point of physical threats or retaliation.
Battered is pretty angry atm and understandably so.

altalt. Didn't she start a new job or suttin'?
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:19, Reply)
alt: because he's a 40 year old washed up divorcee without permanent employment and a club foot?

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:21, Reply)
Stunned has the foot woes

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:23, Reply)
swipe let slip about Batt's "big shoe", this is new news for the bo\ard

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:23, Reply)
No, thats Dozer

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:24, Reply)
He's a Spice Girls fan

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:26, Reply)
Who do you think you are?
Too much
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:27, Reply)
Stop right now!

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:28, Reply)
Goodbye

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:28, Reply)
Bender

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:30, Reply)
NO YOUN AR

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:31, Reply)

shoe penis.
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:28, Reply)
Its simple, effective and childish
would office smirk again
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:30, Reply)
Stunned's got the foot problems. What's happening with your new sprog? Kick your Mrs down the stairs, that's a known way to start labour.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:24, Reply)
it's still hiding...due date isn't until 26th, but as number 1 was early, which is unusual, we thought this one would be as well, which is more usual
we are currently arguing about names
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:30, Reply)
Cuntymonkey thirtymetre?

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:32, Reply)
Its because this one isnt yours
and black babies take longer to develop in the womb.

HTHs
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:32, Reply)
Ha!

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:33, Reply)
Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:33, Reply)
It is

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:35, Reply)
Could be both.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:37, Reply)
Ahh
A shim
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:40, Reply)
Bless you

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:42, Reply)
Could just be a massive fart that she has been holding in

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:42, Reply)

holding in married to
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:44, Reply)
Fuck off Jason.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:24, Reply)
^ Grumpy

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:26, Reply)
^ old fashioned word for Happy

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:27, Reply)
dur

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:27, Reply)
^ Dozey

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:28, Reply)
It's Dopey Hackshully

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:30, Reply)
Fair point well made

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:31, Reply)
Potato crusted pork fillet, slow cooked belly, crackling, Perry gravy, apple beignet, winter greens

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:50, Reply)
Nice

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:52, Reply)
That's what I had when we were away last week. It was probably the best pork I have ever had.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:53, Reply)
pfffft

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:54, Reply)
Well, second best after YM HUR HUR

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:57, Reply)
Thats what she said

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:57, Reply)
BIN dun

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:58, Reply)
like YM

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:16, Reply)
Pears and anything food or beverage related to them are utterly disgusting.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:55, Reply)
You dont like perry?

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:57, Reply)
Can't stand it.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:07, Reply)
hmm
It is very sweet.
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:08, Reply)
Don't like pears full stop. Grotty flavour.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:11, Reply)
This man speaks for me on all Pear related issues^

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:17, Reply)
That's the only bit I would have changed as it was too sweet.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:57, Reply)
cider gravy would have been better

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:58, Reply)
Yes, I wrote that on the feedback form.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:58, Reply)
Except for
pear drops
waldolf salad
tart ta tan
pear wine gums
stuff that contains pears or is pear flavoured
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:59, Reply)
i love raw pears, especially conference pears
but I don't like them in things.

although stunned made me a beautiful salad of pears and greens and blue cheese and walnuts. the rest of the foodwrongs had giant prawns and steak - urgh.
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:00, Reply)
Not really a fan of pears
They are like mong apples

IMA make some perry from my tree
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:02, Reply)
That's a waldolf salad there, bet the cunt made out like he made it himself.
I fucking love prawns, big huge ones that take 4 bites, I suck their head out too.
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:03, Reply)
Conference pears are the best pears

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:05, Reply)
We need some kind of a discussion about this

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:07, Reply)
I like conference calls.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:08, Reply)
I'm in dis-pear

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:08, Reply)
Those prawns and the steaks were excellent.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:10, Reply)
fuck off, my vegetable pasta was much better
and I definitely won on the pudding front. that trio of lemon/lime puddings was amazing, gay strawberry boy.
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:00, Reply)
I'm telling you now it wasnt

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:01, Reply)
it was
his plate was disgusting, mountains of dead pig everywhere.

and then he had black pudding and bacon and sausages for breakfast.

poor piggies.
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:11, Reply)
poor tasty piggies

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:14, Reply)
Sticky toffee pudding was better

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:03, Reply)
Cheese is a much better way to end a meal.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:10, Reply)
normally i agree
but not when you had a goats cheese starter and a mascarpone sauce. too much of a good thing!
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:11, Reply)
I don't eat raw cheese though.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:13, Reply)
cbeese

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:14, Reply)
\o/

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:23, Reply)
I got a burger from the butchers today, so I'm making it with
- Chollar Roll bun
- Red Onion
- Tomarto
- Plastic Cheese
- Lettus
- tomarto'n'chili-chutney
- some kind of mustardy pickle thing
- mayo
- the meat itself.

It'll be AWESOMe.
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:57, Reply)
I hate burgers with too much shit in them
Bun
Cheese
Bacon
Burger
Bun

possibly hot sauce of some kind
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:58, Reply)
Pickle m'shickle.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 14:59, Reply)
Not a fan of pickles

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:00, Reply)
That's because they're Satan's cucumbers.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:04, Reply)
tggi

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:05, Reply)
no no no
put it in the bin and start again:

falafels
tzatziki
feta cheese

WIN

or maybe

Portobello mushroom
blue cheese
chillis
pesto
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:01, Reply)
Yeah, what you've done there is make a vegetable sandwich, not a burger.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:04, Reply)
yeah, where did i say it was a burger?

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:12, Reply)
Didn't say you did, I was merely informing you that it wasn't.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:14, Reply)
Er... that's not a burger

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:04, Reply)
i never said it was
I told him to put his sad little meatsack in the bin and start again
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:12, Reply)
Terrible bullying of pickle fairy here

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:22, Reply)
That's not food.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:04, Reply)
What is it then?

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:06, Reply)
MEAT

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:08, Reply)
Some sort of right-on vegetarian worthy hand-wringing nonsense.
Something to do with the Gaia theory and how really spiritual they are in Thailand, I suspect.
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:10, Reply)
No, thats melons

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:20, Reply)
Pffft.
Boobs.
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:24, Reply)
Why not make your own burgers? Not exactly difficult.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:09, Reply)
this^
I've not done that for ages
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:10, Reply)
He should grow his own lettus and tomarto too

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:12, Reply)
^Can't spell.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:13, Reply)
^doesn't read Gonz posts^

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:15, Reply)
They're one of my dauhter's fave things to make, along with pizza. Piss easy too.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:13, Reply)

jelly.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2234343
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:18, Reply)
I'm not sure the medical profession is the place for equal opportunity for retards.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:20, Reply)
I'll see your mong tiger and raise you a stuffed gay lynx

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:08, Reply)


(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:10, Reply)
hahahahaha!
Officelolling heartily
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:15, Reply)


(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:19, Reply)
He looks so happy

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:20, Reply)
He's hungry for crow and it's feeding time!

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:21, Reply)
*fears*

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:21, Reply)
Also
Thanks Alice Cooper
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:23, Reply)
there is a natural history museum in Kendal
That has some of the worst examples of taxidermy I have ever seen...
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:32, Reply)
I like this site:
www.badtaxidermy.com/
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:33, Reply)
just looking through it at the moment
that's the sort of thing they have in the aforementioned. There is one of a bear that's priceless
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:37, Reply)
Best.One.Ever

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:50, Reply)
Agreed. I posted that on a 'RT to win a leopard' thing.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:53, Reply)
Bob Crow?

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:24, Reply)
Crow Jane

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:25, Reply)
Yeah, tube fed.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:28, Reply)
Underground.

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:30, Reply)
yes!

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:31, Reply)
As we would say in these parts
He looks like he's got one eye away down to the shops and another one coming back with the change.
(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:27, Reply)
Massive OfficeLOLs

(, Tue 11 Mar 2014, 15:26, Reply)

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