This whole Saturday night internet stuff is clearly shit.
I have food, a film & a sleeping daughter.

What do you have (apart from some dubious sexual claim about my mum)?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 20:27, 44 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Three sleeping kids and some guinness

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 20:30, Reply)

Bottled or canned Guinness doesn't taste them same IMHO.
Three kids? Are you catholic or having a sleepover?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 20:33, Reply)

It's not the draught, it's the original, which is perfectly acceptable in a can
Only two of the kids are mine, the other is a friend of my eldest
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 20:39, Reply)

Don't think I've ever had the original in a can.
I'm on mineral water - tend not to drink & parent.

Off to Southend tomorrow (closest bit of seaside to London, albeit rather common) with micro. Picnic on a cold beach etc. Should be fun (at least for her). What will you be up to?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 20:42, Reply)

If the weather is nice again I might take the kids to explore a local derelict grange house
They love a bit of trespassing.
Is your access back to normal again then?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 20:45, Reply)

The weekday access is currently shafted, Weekends (for now) are being adhered to.
Today we've been planting primroses etc. for her which has been a big hit. She kept asking to go back outside to 'check my flowers are ok please daddy'.

Ace.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 20:48, Reply)

Chicken fajitas, a Muller corner, and shit Saturday night television.
I can live with that.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 15 Mar 2014, 20:42, Reply)

Living the dream eh b3th?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 20:46, Reply)

You have no idea.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 15 Mar 2014, 20:48, Reply)

Low fat Muller?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 20:48, Reply)

Ihave a bottle of brandy, a sleeping wife and daughter, and a dspastic dog looking at me. Saturday night :)

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 20:54, Reply)

swap the sleeping family for a large number of sleeping tablets. Fuck the dog. Consume the tablets & brandy.
Job done.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 20:55, Reply)

Mmm... sleepy death

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 20:58, Reply)

Bit hammereed really.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:15, Reply)

nakers is round your house?

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 20:56, Reply)

has everyone drugged the rest of their families?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:06, Reply)

yup
its the only way to ensure peace
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:08, Reply)

Do many of these OT shutins have families?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:09, Reply)

they just imagine them

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:10, Reply)

there are no lies on the internet

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:13, Reply)

By proxy, yes.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:29, Reply)

Hi hun.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:30, Reply)

Alreet?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:32, Reply)

Weary. Very, very weary.
Yourself and the missus?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:33, Reply)

Much the same tbh.
I went to bed at around 2.45am, couldn't sleep due to leg cramp / spasms and then got up again at 10am as I needed to collect the car from Berwick. Then sat around my sister's gaff for about 4 hours mainlining coffee and nicotine before driving back home in a small car buffeted by strong winds.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:36, Reply)

That stretch of road is great if it's clear & there's not strong wind.
Other times I've found it a bastard to drive.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:37, Reply)

I came down via Wooler as my sister lives in Ford.
The A1 can get to fuck. Dullest stretch of road in the UK. Straight as a die and mostly single carriageway; it's a pain in the arse.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:40, Reply)

Shut up and drink this glass of milk

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:10, Reply)

that ent milk.....

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:12, Reply)

too latzzzzzzzzzzzz...

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:15, Reply)

tangles, youve pulled!

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:17, Reply)

beer
its all i need
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 20:56, Reply)

Do you drink because you're lonely, mong tiger?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 20:57, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2238320
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 20:58, Reply)

I drink because the chasm between reality and piss-stained mattresses needs to serve as a constant reminder of broken Britain.
Or something.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:39, Reply)

I have a chicken chilli butter curry simmering on the hob
and a glass of wine. I know it's a bit late to be eating, but I was out last night, slept a lot today and had a late lunch.

I also saw your mum's minge in an 80's edition of Fiesta.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:32, Reply)

I'm about to eat - always eat late.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:33, Reply)

So do we, which is why I've put on weight over the last few years.
Fortunately stress and other things have conspired to lose me a stone and a half since Christmas so it's not all bad \o/
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:37, Reply)

I' ve lost a similar amount since splitting with bitchtits last April.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:38, Reply)

Christ you must be like 3ft high by 1ft wide by now.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:41, Reply)

Still got a beer gut though :(

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:46, Reply)

I can get into jeans and suit pants I couldn't get into 3 years ago.
It's fucking great!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 15 Mar 2014, 21:47, Reply)

A victory in the soccerball and a bottle of chateauneuf du pape

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 22:07, Reply)

Just unfriended someone off FB
Dozy credulous bint linked to a page about 'Blue moon Reiki healing'.
What the actual fuck
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sun 16 Mar 2014, 0:39, Reply)