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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Good morning shitcunts.
How are we all this morning? Anything interesting planned for today?*

*Disclaimer: I don't actually give a shit about you or your pathetic life.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:02, 128 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
Good Moring Battered, Good Morning The Internet.
Ha ha! It's going to be a GREAT day!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:08, Reply)
In Zamunda?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:09, Reply)
You look especially radiant today, your Grace

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:11, Reply)
Thank you darling xx

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:11, Reply)
Good morning!
Lovely to see you!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:09, Reply)
Good Morning Dozer, hope you are well!!!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:11, Reply)
I'm not bad Froggo, lovely to see you!
Hope all is well with you and 'Gill'!

Isn't it funny to mock dyslexia!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:21, Reply)
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:22, Reply)
Did you hear about the dyslexic who went to a toga party?
He went as a goat!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:24, Reply)
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper?
He sold his soul to Santa!!!
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:25, Reply)
Have you heard about the guy who discovered that he's both dyslexic and gay?
He's still in daniel!
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:27, Reply)
It's nice & sunny down here this morning, what's it like oop north?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:11, Reply)
little bit cloudy but should clear up soon
FACTBOMB! In spite of being only 20 miles or so apart, Leeds and York often have very different weather!

York was nice and sunny, Leeds is a little cloudy!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:19, Reply)
Amazing!

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:21, Reply)
Just WOW

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:21, Reply)
I'm planning on sitting here, appreciating your candour

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:20, Reply)

candour scrotum
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:20, Reply)
Hey, I'm going to do some sitting today too....
...what are the chances?!?!?!?
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:21, Reply)
BULLSHIT

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:26, Reply)
Yeah, you found me out, I'm standing ALL DAY today :(

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:27, Reply)
Why must you turn this place into a house of lies?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:35, Reply)
Yes'm Mr Bossman, Frog dun baaaad.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:36, Reply)
Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me!

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:22, Reply)
When I'm between your thighs you blow me away!
Alright love?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:26, Reply)
Yerr,
Working afternoons this week, feels weird being at home in the day now. Oh, how times have changed.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:28, Reply)
I'll sit on your face, and tell you I love you too

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:31, Reply)
Fuck off pervert.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:32, Reply)
Oh man, sadface.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:33, Reply)
Nah, you're alright really, for a povvo

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:39, Reply)
Woo

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:41, Reply)
WOAH,
I was all geared up to tell you about how average my day was going to be, and then I saw your disclaimer and now I'm sad. You're a bully and I think you ought to be banned.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:22, Reply)
Morning Battered
Despite a pretty bad hangover, I'm actually in a fucking good mood. Had a few payday cans, ended up in a long conversation with a housemate, in which he gave me can after can. I'm not feeling too great, but in far too good a mood to care. Fuck knows why, mind.

I'm out later for a friend's birthday, just hoping there is no drama.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:30, Reply)
Payday cans is one of the most tragic things I've ever heard.
Special brew wasn't it.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:34, Reply)
No,I picked up four Fursty Ferret
Housemate was on Stella
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:35, Reply)
You've got a hangover after 4 cans?
Amateur.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:36, Reply)
See above, I said he was giving me can after can, and that was after I'd finished mine.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:37, Reply)
grooming

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:38, Reply)
Sweet

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:39, Reply)
Ferret is one of my favourite home drinking choices

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:56, Reply)
It is excellent

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:10, Reply)
Yeh, what a pathetic wanker! I had a couple of bottles of payday cooking sherry then huffed a can of payday lighter gas.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:36, Reply)
You've got it right PJ.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:39, Reply)
What happened to going to the pub, eh? 'member the pub? 'member?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:36, Reply)
Drinking partner has gone teetotal, so midweek pints aren't quite as much fun

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:37, Reply)
Just go down the pub on your own, sit in the corner, try and make stilted conversation with strangers, play the fruit machine, glare awkwardly at people having 'fun'...
All the cool people are doing it.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:39, Reply)
Local is actually pretty good for meeting new people at the weekend, it just tends to be pretty dead midweek.
Fucking great pints, mind.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:40, Reply)
I expect everyone is at home drinking payday cans.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:41, Reply)
'cans'?
How beastly.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:38, Reply)
What would you prefer, wineskins?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:39, Reply)
bottles.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:40, Reply)
Cheaper to get this one in cans, and no real taste difference.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:42, Reply)
I would say that there is a difference, your palate is too crude to detect it.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:45, Reply)
I would say that the fact that you're trying to be smug over this is hilarious.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:53, Reply)
Oh now come on AA. Don't you know Dozer is better than everyone at everything?

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:32, Reply)
Cans actually preserve beer better than bottles do, but ale drinkers tend to prefer bottles, thinking them somehow superior.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:53, Reply)
I hope you arent suggesting that he is being a smug prick for no reason

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:55, Reply)
Because that *never* happens eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:56, Reply)
Nope no sirree

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:56, Reply)
Knowing dozer, he probably is already aware of this fact, but he enjoys being a prick online
And who are we to deny him that?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:57, Reply)
he should ask himself why though
why does he get pleasure out of it?

weird.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:16, Reply)
I think it's because he's a prick.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:22, Reply)
I pour them into glasses anyway, so it doesn't really make a difference to me

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:09, Reply)
Was it you that suggested golden hen?
Its fucking shit...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:10, Reply)
Don't think so, as I'm not fond of it.
I like Blandford Flyer, Tangle Foot, and Fursty Ferret from H&W
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:14, Reply)
You've got a few good breweries near you, you should be drinking their beers instead.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:33, Reply)
Not a fan of any of the Macclesfield ones, think it's the water
There's an excellent one in Crewe, but their name escapes me atm
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 10:32, Reply)
Ale names are gay

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:34, Reply)
One of my favourites is Marston Firestoker.
As my local brewery used to be the Hogs Head, I have also consumed a lot of TEA.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:38, Reply)
Good choices
Don't ever though think you have picked up a Blandford only to find its actually a Poachers
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:43, Reply)
Poachers is horrid

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:45, Reply)
Its a fucking shocker

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:46, Reply)
^^this
only fizzy piss comes in cans.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:42, Reply)
workworkwork as off tomorrow for a 3 day hen party
seeing some reprobates for beer and pizza tonight, which will be nice.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:38, Reply)
Hen parties are horrid things.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:40, Reply)
completely agree
however, this one has no willies or balloons or sashes. it's just 20 girls in a little cottage/spa complex for a weekend. so hopefully will be good fun...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:51, Reply)
I bet one of them ruins it by drinking too much lambrusko,
And admits to fucking the groom.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:26, Reply)

one of them swipe
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:32, Reply)
Pink, cock-shaped deely-boppers.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:31, Reply)
Try not to suck too much cock!

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:42, Reply)
given that it's 20 girls in a remote part of devon, it seems unlikely
but i'll bear it in mind...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:51, Reply)
Try not to have too many pillow fights while wearing skimpy nightwear then

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:53, Reply)
Hello again breakfast.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:56, Reply)
Like watching a lava lamp

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:58, Reply)
I've seen hen nights in remote areas of Devon
any sight of a cock and they're fighting over it like feral cats.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:59, Reply)
Still, worked for you eh.

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:11, Reply)
A group of drunk 30-40 year old women
is one of the most harrowing experiences of my life. I had shell shock for, like, a week!!

shell-shock a bongle
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:36, Reply)
Aw I think it's sweet that you try to live vicariously though us, your internet chums.
Chin up champ, I'm sure you'll find some gainful employment soon.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:52, Reply)
I'm all good. I'm working today, or supposed to be - lacking motivation.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:53, Reply)
That's what b3ta is for

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 8:54, Reply)
Im off for a long weekend after today so you can imagine my elation!
I hope this day finds you well and send you all my well wishes.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:27, Reply)
Try not to suck too much cock!

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:27, Reply)
Im seeing a pattern here...

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:35, Reply)
OMG ME TOO
Tody is the new Friday and then I'm in Marseilles from Wednesday.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:35, Reply)
Ahh. Yours is better. Im just off to Newcastle on Saturday :(

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:35, Reply)
Five star hotel, two people, four nights, right on the harbour
all for less than the cost of a Jetex 2.5" half exhaust with a two branch back box.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:40, Reply)
Alright, alright! Show off!

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:42, Reply)
Ah but he won't get your mam's homemade stottie cakes and pease pudding
Or get to sleep under a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bedspread
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:44, Reply)
Home to see the rellies eh

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:47, Reply)
Off to see the mrs in a swimsuit.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 10:01, Reply)
Middleton lulz

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 10:03, Reply)
Exicting day - opening of the exhibition of which some of my photographic work is a part.
Private viewing tonight. One of the artists hates the pathetic realism of photography, so I'm hoping to have a drunken punch-up with them for a bit of publicity.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:30, Reply)
Try not to suck too much cock!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:32, Reply)
Yeah right - like that's even possible at these things.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:55, Reply)
I don't even.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:33, Reply)
I too hate pictures of stuff.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:34, Reply)
Dearest Kroney
Following on from your foul assertion last night I am not Northern I just happen to live up here...
I expect a full written apology by the time I return from this cigarette.
Fond Regards
Bonz
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:45, Reply)
^ferret fancier

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:46, Reply)

jelly.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2248469
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:49, Reply)
RIP BONZER WIV DA CHOMPY NOW :(

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:48, Reply)
Alreet?
I'm "OK" this morning. House is on the market from today and looking for 250K
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:53, Reply)
Have you tried behind the fridge

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:54, Reply)
Not there

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:55, Reply)
Im Oot

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 10:02, Reply)
STAY ABOUT FROM MY FRIDGE

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 10:05, Reply)
I'll give 100 for it

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:54, Reply)
Then you can have the top floor

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:55, Reply)
You should post a link to the estate agent listing, so we can all sneer at the decor

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:56, Reply)
When it comes up I will do

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:59, Reply)
Your missus said the same to me last night
*it never came up :-(*
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 10:02, Reply)
I'll give you a tenner and lift home.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:55, Reply)
Who's gonna start me off at two hunnerd? brrrrrrrabrab two twenny! brrrrbrab etc

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:55, Reply)
tggi

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:56, Reply)
i did a new thread
*prouds*
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 10:01, Reply)
Is it a good one though?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 10:02, Reply)
it is what we make it, padre

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 10:05, Reply)
Nah

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 10:07, Reply)
it's better than your record

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 10:27, Reply)
Morning!
I had 13 hours sleep and I feel awesome.
Another night like that and I might just have enough energy to leave the house.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 27 Mar 2014, 9:56, Reply)

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