Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day
I am disgusted to the core of my being
That you are all so butt Fuckingly gay.

But se'sly, glorious day here in Cornwall. I am outside having a cup of tea and looking at the views like a Townie. Just trying to decide what might pass as entertainment around here today?

Alt. How are the sick people today? Monts, get yourself down the quacks.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 8:54, 131 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Oh what an average morning
For a homunculus, or 'Munc'
Sadly I live down in Folkestone
That's why I spend half my life drunk

There's my plan right there, all day baby, all day.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 9:07, Reply)

It's a plan I can fully endorse. Brrrab 2 dozen stellas brrabab.
Bank holiday weekends are traditionally DIY weekends, no plans in this regard?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 9:20, Reply)

just had a wank, so yes.

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 9:22, Reply)

Skills.
Make sure you wash your hands before any breakfast is attempted.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 9:23, Reply)

of course
the nommy baconz is salty enough without adding to it
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 9:26, Reply)

I mended a door yesterday, that'll have to do.
And yes, it was my back door.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 9:26, Reply)

Fixed the loose hinge, no doubt.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 9:28, Reply)

skillz
lot of people would have a man in for that
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 9:31, Reply)

5 lever deadlock, and a new keep! Cor!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 9:34, Reply)

Did you touch the knob?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 9:41, Reply)

I usually get a woman in for that

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 9:46, Reply)

When are you coming back?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 9:26, Reply)

Wednesday, bruvver.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 9:27, Reply)

I'm not working Tuesday, but I am Wednesday.
If I was free I'd have suggested tea and cake as you were driving past.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 9:32, Reply)

Shame.
Took me five and a half hours in the motor AND I left at 3am.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 9:38, Reply)

this made me lol just now
What's all the fuss with Oscar Pistorius?
He's not the first guy who got legless and shot a load into his missus thinking she was someone else.
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 9:37, Reply)

Who here can say they haven't done the same?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 9:44, Reply)

Carol vorderman?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 10:43, Reply)

disgust arous
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 9:50, Reply)

Marnin'
What's going down in Cov today?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 10:06, Reply)

House prices, educational results, employment numbers et. Etc

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 10:35, Reply)

Making pesto and buying records

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 13:23, Reply)

This Easter morn has brought little despite from the snotty onslaught inside my head

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 10:31, Reply)

Whisky and curry will sort that out.
Interspersed with shots of Nyquil.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 10:34, Reply)

I've had two curries and whiskey is rank

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 10:36, Reply)

Morning all
I've viewed a flat, bought dinner for this evening, bought flowers for the Doris, cleaned the kitchen and done two loads of washing. Go me!

Alt: my cold still isn't leaving but the eye infection seems to be slowly succumbing to the chloramphenicol onslaught.

In other news, had a delightful dinner in Coventry last night, followed by a cheeky pint in a dodgy biker's pub with a live band.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:03, Reply)

Shouldn't you live in a house by your age?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:04, Reply)

I do live in a house
I want to live in a flat.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:06, Reply)

Bit weird, is it one of those managed places for old people?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:37, Reply)

Nope
I just want to live in a flat - done it before, much more convenient.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:44, Reply)

But what about privacy, peace and quiet and your own garden?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:47, Reply)

Can't be arsed to garden
Top floor, no communal access, suits me.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 12:11, Reply)

I have had a haircut and have now opened non-payday can #1
Royal Challengers Bangalore vs Mumbai Indians today!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:17, Reply)

Oh man I wanna come to your house

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:19, Reply)

staropramen today

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:20, Reply)

Is this some poor anagram?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:21, Reply)

its lager

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:22, Reply)

L A G E R = Large?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:23, Reply)

shut up harters

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:23, Reply)

Well no need for that

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:26, Reply)

I'm too ill for beer :(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:37, Reply)

You could just refuse to be sick, it seems to work for me

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:41, Reply)

I've tried and it used to work, think I'm run down by lack of sleep

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:43, Reply)

Bless is the new addition keeping you up?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:47, Reply)

Not too bad, but enough to wear me out

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:52, Reply)

Alright Stunned poster which part of Cornland are you at?
Alt: I refuse to be sick
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:18, Reply)

going to make use of the one goods day of the weekend
By going to Ken palace. Dinner and drinks after that.
( Kroney, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:30, Reply)

Surely at Ken palace you should have a Barbie?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:31, Reply)

A jazz 3 piece are playing creep
It's hideous
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:52, Reply)

The original version by TLC was and all

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:53, Reply)

as was the original version by The Hollies

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 12:03, Reply)

Is it best to say that all songs called creep suck?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 12:14, Reply)

only if you want to be a tedious blustering prick

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 12:22, Reply)

Good point, In that case I'll let you say it

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 12:27, Reply)

I have a cold.
I feel like shit.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 15:05, Reply)

smoking joints and watching 'Avengers Assemble
I was disgustingly drunk at the bingo last night and shamefully loved it. Hilarious. The caller thought he was Larry Grayson and the bar staff had extra chromosomes.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 16:13, Reply)

Hashtag Prole

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 16:14, Reply)

Ive got Pimms and Elderflower too.
Just to up the gay a bit
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 16:15, Reply)