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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Ah man
I missed my b3ta birthday yesterday. I hadn't realised I signed up on poppa Cow's birthday

What have you forgotten recently?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:46, 136 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
YM

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:47, Reply)
She said you weren't memorable either

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:51, Reply)
I can't remember

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:54, Reply)
Do you suffer from long term memory loss?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:55, Reply)
Not recently, I can't remember if I used to.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:57, Reply)
*Wakes up*
" I slept with THAT?!"
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:57, Reply)
meatsnake NEVER thinks that
not these days anyway
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:58, Reply)
^

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:59, Reply)
smooth

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:03, Reply)
back, crack and scak innit

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:04, Reply)
My scak is very smooth

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:06, Reply)
oooh yeah it is

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:06, Reply)
*wakes up*
"I slept with THAT?!"
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:58, Reply)
Fool me once, shame on you
Fool me twice, shame on me.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:07, Reply)
I forgot how to get home :(

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:57, Reply)
haha!
Are you forgiven yet?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:57, Reply)
she might as well boot him out
now he's ponied up the sperms
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:58, Reply)
that's the easy bit, it's paying for them for the next 20 years that's difficult

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:05, Reply)
Yeah all sorted
I'm very lovable
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:58, Reply)
i forgot about the fucking cunting tube strike when i booked theatre tickets for tonight
and when i planned an evening out tomorrow

fucking fuckers
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:02, Reply)
WHEN IS THIS ONE?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:03, Reply)
9pm tonight apparently

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:03, Reply)
MEATSNAKE will be home by then \o/

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:04, Reply)
I hope you talk in the third person all the time.
I imagine that would be very endearing.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:14, Reply)
my ex did that
repeatedly. not so much in conversation, but in email and text ALL THE TIME.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:14, Reply)
And he had a 'fucking stupid name'

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:15, Reply)
sportscow does not like this

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:15, Reply)
MEATSNAKE agrees with you.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:15, Reply)
greggs hat want chicken slice and rim job from Wolf Glaldiator

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:15, Reply)
oh i LOVE this

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:55, Reply)
Taxi for swipe

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:03, Reply)
She can afford it.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:14, Reply)
Haha
RIP BOB 4EVA IN MI HART
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:16, Reply)
I went to my mate's and forgot to get his kids anything, so spent time playing with them instead.
Eh?! Eh?!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:04, Reply)
also i needed to book flights for the end of may
but i needed to renew my passport. i managed to get a premium appointment and spunk up the extra £40. all good.

until i got home to book the flights and the cunts have gone from about £70 to £200. fuck that. so now i'm getting the train after all that.

thanks flybe, you ignorant greedy twunts.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:05, Reply)
I read this as
whaaa whaaa whaaaa whaaaa whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, whaaa whaaa whaaaa whaaaa whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

whaaa whaaa whaaaa whaaaa whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,whaaa whaaa whaaaa whaaaa whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawhaaa whaaa whaaaa whaaaa whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

whaaa whaaa whaaaa whaaaa whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa twunts
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:08, Reply)
hahahahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:12, Reply)
wait, you can read now??!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:14, Reply)
: p

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:14, Reply)
i knew it was lies on the internet!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:15, Reply)
I can't find my passport
This is bad. I might have to actually pick things up and look underneath them.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:12, Reply)
I wedge mine inbetween my copies of The Pickwick Papers and Bleak House.
That way I always know exactly where it is. Those books don't move too often.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:14, Reply)
philistine^

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:15, Reply)
Dickens makes me cross.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:16, Reply)

ens ing
cross nostalgic
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:16, Reply)

en s cross wetter than an otter's pocket
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:17, Reply)
haha!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:17, Reply)
I rather enjoyed the two I've read

(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:17, Reply)
Which ones?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:18, Reply)
The two he's read

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:18, Reply)
I really ought to learn to read what he says.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:19, Reply)
IDIOT

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:21, Reply)
saved me the bother.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:21, Reply)
Great Sexpectations
David Cockinfield
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:19, Reply)
Great Expectations would be vastly improved by a good dose of shagging
Or, indeed, by being consumed and then shat out
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:21, Reply)
I read the Pickpwick Papers and Nicholas Nickleby
I've started Great Expectations and Martin Chuzzlewhit but never finished them.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:21, Reply)
Where Dickens was supposed to have written Pickwick Papers
is a chop house near my office.

Nommy chops.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:30, Reply)
pork or lamb?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:33, Reply)
YES!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:36, Reply)
*high fives*

(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:36, Reply)
*lambyfives*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:39, Reply)
Dickens takes a half decent short story and pads it out by massively over describing everything.
Its painful to read.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:26, Reply)
I like the series of coincidences that all conspire to leave everything okay in the end.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:33, Reply)
It's odd, really. Plenty of Victorian authors are perfectly legible.
Dickens seems to go out of his way to be florid. It's how I'd expect a Victorian Dozer to write.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:41, Reply)
A concept far too horrible to even contemplate

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:51, Reply)
it's because he was penny-lining
he got paid for padding it out.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:56, Reply)
They're big and heavy and he's scrawny and weak

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:16, Reply)
Had to sort daughter's out for Tenerife
Another £40 odd quid
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:14, Reply)
If you can get me one at the same rate I'll be most chuffed
I'm pretty sure I know where it is. Unfortunately I think I know where about a hundred others things are too "on top of my fucking passport"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:16, Reply)
what I started fighting for

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:17, Reply)
JustinLeeCollinslols
Rarest of all the lols
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:19, Reply)
Do you remember when we used to dance? *BOOM-BOOM CLAP*

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:18, Reply)
Huh? Who? What?

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:25, Reply)
Chompy strikes again!

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:25, Reply)
Stunned forgets nothing.
Stunned harbours grudges.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:29, Reply)
like lonely high court judges?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:35, Reply)
These are a few of my favourite things.....

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:40, Reply)
you mum harbored my grudge last night

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:35, Reply)
Stunned puts Ape on grudge list.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:36, Reply)
Bent spastic list closes all other entries to allow room for ape to expand.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:38, Reply)
Stunned adds Al to said list also.
Stunned plots revenge.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:40, Reply)
I'm getting slimmer, I was wearing 30" waisted jeans yesterday

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:40, Reply)
I've lost 4lbs this week
The only problem is that in order to do so I've had to replace beer with exercise.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:42, Reply)
i'm not doing anything...so it's probably AIDS
in other news I may being staying in Norwich for a night : (
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:44, Reply)
Well that's obviously fantastic news
I'll show you all the places of interest, and then we can have beer for the other 59 minutes of the hour.

Is this a work thing or are you calculating minimum safe distance from the missus?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:56, Reply)
Work, some prick wants to meet first thing and it's 4 hours from home

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:00, Reply)
Assuming work are paying
I recommend the Maid's Head. I've never actually stayed there myself for blindingly obvious reasons but it's a charming old building.

If you fancy a pint, let me know
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:16, Reply)
honey, he's going to break your heart

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:00, Reply)
+anal hymen

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:01, Reply)
Hahaha
You really think my anal hymen survived the 90s?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:14, Reply)
Ape's might have done
though boarding school says otherwise
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:16, Reply)
Is that why you eventually settled for Frog?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:08, Reply)
At least he's coming to see me
you terrible cocktease
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:15, Reply)
I forgot to save my excel work on Friday. DOH!
Time to play catch up!
I dont think Ive ever caught a candle day on here. Must try harder.
Mind you only get called a candle prick.

You candle prick.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:09, Reply)
Afternoon

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:10, Reply)
I know right!
and my day is just beginning.
I had a fair few vodka slushes and vino over the weekend and feel grand
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:12, Reply)
^ gay

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:13, Reply)
^ fat and bald

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:13, Reply)
I dont feel too bad myself at the moment
I "tidied" the last of the wine and gin over the weekend and had a lovely curry
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:15, Reply)
A wine and gin curry?
Sounds........interesting....
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:18, Reply)
Fucked if I can remember the other ingredients

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:20, Reply)
MDMA, gunpowder and absinthe

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:22, Reply)
*plots*

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:23, Reply)
That'll blow your head off

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:24, Reply)
I forgot to remember to forget

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:20, Reply)
that's deep man

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:21, Reply)

youtu.be/HaqjSCx_3uw
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:24, Reply)
Elvis was shit

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:25, Reply)
For a lot of his career, yes
In this period he was pretty good
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:26, Reply)
nah he was always shit
and ugly
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:35, Reply)
TUBE STRIKE CANCELLED

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:23, Reply)
For now.
Fickle lot, then tube people.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:23, Reply)
No, what I meant was 'not cancelled as talks break down'

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:25, Reply)
Hold in there, comrades

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:25, Reply)
I can't believe I might have to walk for half an hour

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:26, Reply)
No!
That's about TWO MILES!!
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:27, Reply)
I know, that means FOUR A DAY!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:27, Reply)
Bring on the robots.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:28, Reply)

youtu.be/VXa9tXcMhXQ
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:30, Reply)
Oh man I loved robot wars, that Craig Charles is well funny adn Phillipa Forrester, what a hottty!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:34, Reply)
Phillipa Forrester had the arms of a bricklayer

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:35, Reply)
trufax

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:40, Reply)
I struck your mum's tube last night
WITH MY PENIS
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:24, Reply)
No you didn't, you were probably asleep on a train after chugging two pints.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:27, Reply)
you mums chugged two pints last night
FROM MY PEMIS
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:28, Reply)
AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE A 'PEMIS'

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:29, Reply)
Your mother's got a PEMIS

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:30, Reply)
Shut up, PEMIS BREATH

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:30, Reply)
CBEESEY HELMET

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:40, Reply)
cbeesy pemis?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:44, Reply)
Sounds Latin

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:46, Reply)
It's funny how nobody is being nagry on facebook about tube strikes
now it isn't that big bad bogeyman Bob Crow's fault.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:35, Reply)
I blame Bob Cow

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:48, Reply)
Apparently we're now starting "pop-up" recruitment centres.
There must be a serious employee shortage in collecter's record shops.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 12:46, Reply)
right laugh

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 13:01, Reply)
Start a new K-dawg thread

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 13:02, Reply)

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