Good morning fuck knuckles
Well its Tuesday, the best day of the week beginning with Tue.

Hows your day looking will it be shit or good?

alt: Radio 2 are doing a bit on the greatest riffs www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/playlist/greatestriffs
Overall not a bad selection, what would be the best riff of all time.

alt alt, descend into moaning
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:22, 135 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

F1RST!!!
My day is looking pretty average, boring and monotonous as usual. On the plus side, I do have SHINY NEW HELMET

Alt: The guitar in the theme tune to Quantum Leap.
youtu.be/6c6Ekc9TYVk
Specifically the bit at 42 seconds, although it probably isn't a guitar now I have listened to it again.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:24, Reply)

I'm watching Magnum PI, good start to the day.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:29, Reply)

Years ago I used to manage a sales office
Where the boss had a wide selection of "Hawaiian" shirts, I used to have the opening theme tune saved as a wav file for whenever he came into the office
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:33, Reply)

I had a conversation with a rather sweary and quite racist concierge.
Bit I'm in the North so I was expecting it really. Good start to the day I think

Alt: anything by status quo, they are the "riff masters" after all

Altalt: I don't like being in the North.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:34, Reply)

Where are you?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:40, Reply)

'The north' can't you read?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:41, Reply)

Nottingham

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:41, Reply)

The 'East Midlands' as it's better known

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:46, Reply)

North enough to be full of scum.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:49, Reply)

Have you seen Harters?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:50, Reply)

Is he from here?
Poor fella.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:00, Reply)

'North enough to be full of scum'
Interesting observation*. I have been south of Watford and I feel that the levels of scummery rise exponentially for every 5 miles closer to Mordor London one gets.

*Southern twattery
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:15, Reply)

Alright, calm down northo, they'll be over with your gravy and pies in minute.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:21, Reply)

Pie is good.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:23, Reply)

'they'll be over with your gravy and pies in minute'
Could be worse - jellied eels anyone?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:24, Reply)

Or some sort of odd parsley sauce (made from eel juices)

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:29, Reply)

The North wins in all factors of scum mind.
Crime, racism, poverty, hooliganism, Hillsborough whinging, whippet owning, gambling
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:51, Reply)

Isnt Nottingham statistically the most dangerous city
and Portsmouth the most rapey
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:55, Reply)

I think the murder rate is quite high in Nottingham

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:56, Reply)

It's certainly not dropping in the next week or so.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:56, Reply)

Off to Portsmouth next then

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:58, Reply)

Crime, racism, child poverty, hooliganism and gambling*
All pretty much highest in London.
Hillsborough whinging is Scousers - they're not allowed to be included as they're dole scum grief athletes.
Whippet owning? Couldn't get the stats.
*from the data I could find - London and the aforementioned Scousers are possibly neck-and-neck.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:59, Reply)

Well, if you're dropping scourers, I'm dropping London from the South, horrid place.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:00, Reply)

When I said they were 'dole scum grief athletes' ...
I meant a 'statistical anomaly', an outlier if you will. One that can be disregarded for trending purposes*

*Naah - I meant dole scum grief athletes
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:03, Reply)

*posts chicken fetus link*

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:06, Reply)

Let's just agree that the only place in England that isn't full of cunts is a small village,
Somewhere in the Midlands where the only residents are a nice old couple who bake cakes and watch the telly most of the time.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:23, Reply)

They sound like a right pair of cunts

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:25, Reply)

They have defo got a romanian slave girl in the cellar

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:27, Reply)

I'm warming to them slightly now

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:29, Reply)

' got a romanian slave girl in the cellar'
So, you're implying that's a bad thing?
No agenda, nope, no siree.
*wanders off whistling*
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:38, Reply)

Same old, same old, innit.
Alt: That's a shit list and Radio 2 is cunt.
There probably isn't a 'best riff of all time' but this is pretty good: youtu.be/Wm0EsIBMZM8
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:41, Reply)

Or this
youtu.be/fBTT3VPriV8
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:43, Reply)

Or this
youtu.be/ryjKVmBxkX4
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:44, Reply)

all of your options are shit HTHs

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:56, Reply)

Oh Bonzo
*shakes head*
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:56, Reply)

I didnt listen to them tbf
I just assumed
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:17, Reply)

Busy day soon but it's sunny so np. Thanks for asking.
Does it have to be guitar?
Piano break from Bruce Hornsby's "The way it is"
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:45, Reply)

Moving off the guitar
This sax riff
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:53, Reply)

Actually, it does specify guitar riff in B-dog's link

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:57, Reply)

I'm working from home today - yay!
I have a tender for a university to do - boo!
I will be having a pub lunch - yay!
I'll have to come back for a 'webinar'* - boo!

Alt: Lila's dance - Mahavishnu orchestra

* Hateful word
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:52, Reply)

On the riff theme*
Last train to Clarksville - The Monkees
Samba Pa Ti - Santana

*Updated as I think of them
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:07, Reply)

I can't find a link to it, but the best version of Clarksville is by Los Tres Sudamericanos

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:14, Reply)

Ooh! I'll see if I can find it
Edit
Haven't found it but the 10-minute cheesefest I had while looking was worth it.
Well played sir.
*golf claps*
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:15, Reply)

I have a hidden love for The Monkees (may not be so hidden)

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:22, Reply)

Last train to Clarksville was the nearest to a protest song they ever got

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:25, Reply)

I see no reason to hide your love away
Some excellent words here, from Taylor Parkes, on the Monkees:
www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/legacy/jarviscocker/2011/01/monkees-manufacturing.shtml
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:26, Reply)

Have to be careful round here with a music opinion
head is a great film, and should have been mentioned in the thread from the other day... I just forgot at the time.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:30, Reply)

If you're not sure about a music opinion, just check with me or Monty.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:38, Reply)

Thx bbz

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:42, Reply)

Out of that list - Deep Purple; smoke on the water.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:53, Reply)

They were shit and you're a cunt.
Deep Purple are the sound of bad breath and whiffy pits.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:06, Reply)

Calm down.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:07, Reply)

That is my 'calm and reasoned' take on Deep Purple.
The angry one makes me sound like you after 3 shandies and no anti-convulsants.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:10, Reply)

haha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:11, Reply)

My real answer is Mohawks - The Champ
NOT THAT ANYONE CARES!!! :'(''''
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:57, Reply)

I care, Frog.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:58, Reply)

Thank you dear.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 8:58, Reply)

I think I Feel Fine is better than Day Tripper
Hth
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:00, Reply)

They both owe a little to this song
youtu.be/TvtabNAb_wE
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:05, Reply)

Down Down by the Quo is a good riff, good all round band.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:07, Reply)

Should be b&

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:19, Reply)

I when to see 'The Quo' when they were doing an original lineup tour
So it was a bunch of stuff I'd never heard of except for 'Down Down'. I can't tell you the relief you feel after an hour and a half being jostled by bearded sweaty denimites when you can actually sing along to something.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:36, Reply)

I'd been meaning to get around to watching some Studio Ghibli films at some point
but it took my 14 year old to actually get me sat down to watch Spirited Away last night. Excellent film made all the more special by it being the first time I've been introduced to a film by one of my children.

I'm an hour into work and I've already done a days worth. I suppose I should be expanding my skills or summat now but I really can't be arsed. I'm a real fucken go-getter!

Alt: Dunno. Do I have to think of something really obscure to look cool? Cause I can't be arsed doing that either. I'll say In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, The Chain or I am The Resurrection.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:33, Reply)

i would have said "sweet child" from back in the days when axl was actually hot
but recently have discovered a new found love for "my sharona"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:37, Reply)

is that a euphemism?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:38, Reply)

which bit?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:39, Reply)

your sharona

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:18, Reply)

This amused me
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/appetite-for-destruction-wins-best-album-of-all-time-if-were-honest-2014062688000
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:40, Reply)

i start reading the mash and i lol
but after a few articles, it starts to seem a bit pointless and then i wonder what the point of anything is
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:44, Reply)

the mash b3ta
AMIRITE???!!?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:45, Reply)

no
why would i lol at b3ta?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:46, Reply)

To convince those around you that you're having a good time?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:50, Reply)

ner ner ^{ni ni} ner ⁿⁱ ner ⁿⁱ ner ner ^{ni ni}
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:41, Reply)

you were snoring like that on the sofa last night

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:43, Reply)

I guess I *am* pretty cool like that.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:44, Reply)

You should let him into the bedroom sometime.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:53, Reply)

no
you let him into yours
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:22, Reply)

Axl?
It's all about Duff McKagan. Despite his current band being shite.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:53, Reply)

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:55, Reply)

Because you prefer the touch of the younger kind?
woah
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:11, Reply)

Beast In The Corner by RDF.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 9:59, Reply)

I also like the Rwandan Defence Forces

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:05, Reply)

Rotatable Doily Facades

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:06, Reply)

Registered Dildo Fettlers

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:09, Reply)

They did great work in the mid 90's*






*may not have done great work in the mid 90's
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:07, Reply)

you're all wrong
It's Rock n' Roll Star by 'best b& since the Beatles', postmodern meta-nostalgia peddlers from the nineties, 'Oasis'.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:08, Reply)

Don't make me hurt you

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:10, Reply)

either that, or 'All Around the World'

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:10, Reply)

By E17

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:12, Reply)

You MASSIVE FLID!
'Song 2' by Blur pisses all over anything Oasis ever did!!!!!!!!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:11, Reply)

oh man I fucking detest Blur

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:29, Reply)

I don't like music, it's bent

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:31, Reply)

hang on
you are having a pop at someone for peddling old stuff?

whoa.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:21, Reply)

Naah
I just have a blinding red-rage hatred for the 'barely adequate pub band that got lucky' that is the shitefest of Oasis. Plus, I would gladly lose several stone and embark on twelve months of high-altitude stamina training just so I wouldn't get tired of stamping on that talentless whining cunt Liam Gallagher's face.

Too harsh?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:27, Reply)

i just replaced all the relevant words with "dozer"
seems fair enough to me
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:29, Reply)

Boring with smatterings of bloo.
alt. What's a riff?

altalt. Good Moaning
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:12, Reply)

what a Chinese dog does.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:17, Reply)

my friends sarah and sam used to use it as a code word for periods when we were at school
as in, "riff arrived this morning."

it was short for riffraff.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:22, Reply)

Weitdos

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:24, Reply)

they were 14
and they meant, ugh, unwanted.

i thought it was quite clever myself.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:28, Reply)

I assumed it was because your Bangkok ping pong show was on hold

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:29, Reply)

They sound like perfectly horrid little girls.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:29, Reply)

What was short for elitist?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:24, Reply)

Oh... You're referring to the monthlies?
That's gross.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 10:25, Reply)