Friday!!!!
I'm up early for a meeting. What gets you out of bed?

Alt: did you hear/see the massive thunderstorm last night? SOME butch burly blokes were scared of it. Some tiny feathered birds were not. What harmless thing terrifies you/surprised you by terrifying someone else?

Altalt: fucking bacon baguettes and sausage baps at this meeting. Wtf is the point of that? What have you got?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 7:35, 122 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 7:37, Reply)

I'm up for work as well, just arrived in Nottingham. I'm usually up early anyway to get on with stuff,
I like having a productive Mor one followed by a lazy afternoon. None of this running around in the evening trying to get stuff done.

Alt: I fucking love a good thunderstorm. I sat up in the top room and watched it. It was so low.

Altalt: they are breakfast foods for normal people, I'm sure if you ask nicely they'll get you millet or rabbit food or a bag of wood shavings.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 7:42, Reply)

Children mainly, mini ape V2 had her jabs yesterday so wasn't feeling well and kept us up for fucking ages last night
Alt: weather does occur on an almost daily basis doesn't it?

Altalt: I would destroy a bacon baguette right now
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 7:48, Reply)

I'm out of bed early most days. Today I am in the office all day and not looking forward to it.
Alt: Thunderstorm schmunderstorm - slept through it.
Breakfast will be a healthy* variation on the theme of baguette/bacon/sausage/egg.
It's not the meeting organiser's fault that they don't know you're a vegetablist - I mean, you hardly ever mention it!


*fried
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 7:55, Reply)

I AM the meeting organiser...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 7:59, Reply)

And I bring you...

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:03, Reply)

Hellfire?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:06, Reply)

Close enough

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:07, Reply)

Alright snakey?
How's life?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:10, Reply)

Life is alright, work is particularly boring and draining and tedious.
You okay? You've been quiet this week.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:12, Reply)

Self imposed work b3ta ban, I have too much to do
Lords on Sunday, hoping for sunshine and some decent cricket
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:17, Reply)

Nice one, I would love to be doing that. Yesterday was an up and down first day, but I think it will turn into a decent match.
I wish I had too much to do :(
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:20, Reply)

Come and work for me!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:23, Reply)

Okay! What do I have to do? What are you paying? Can I 'work' from home every Wednesday?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:24, Reply)

Everything I ask.
Biscuits
You can work from my home
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:26, Reply)

I have handed in my resignation and would be pleased to begin my new employment with immediate effect

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:28, Reply)

\o/
What dress size are you? I need to order your uniform
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:31, Reply)

Oh I'm not sure, I will go and get measured up In Evans

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:32, Reply)

You're not allergic to man made fibres are you?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:34, Reply)

Just tell laundry to use non-bio and we are all good boss

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:35, Reply)

Gotcha

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:36, Reply)

Recently it's been someone whinging that all the windows are open at 3am during a thunderstorm and that rain 'might' get in

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 7:57, Reply)

All I want in the morning is a bit os peace and quiet, a cup of coffee and a wank
and what do I get? Screaming kids who don't want to do as they're told, no coffee except instant which can fuck the fuck off and did I get to have a wank? No. No peace, no coffee and no wank. And the families of Flight MH17 think they've got it bad!
( Peej, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:15, Reply)

Jason Biggs edgy^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:18, Reply)

Which one is he?

( Peej, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:48, Reply)

I might become a Scientologist.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:22, Reply)

Well you're stupid enough to doubt the moon landings

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:22, Reply)

Scientology is a nasty cult. I like the idea of wasting their time being 'audited'.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:28, Reply)

Sounds like they need a marketing director

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:37, Reply)

Don't you have to give a large proportion of your income to the lizards?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:28, Reply)

some of these are amazing
www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/most-powerful-photographs-ever-taken
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:29, Reply)

Buzz feed is shit
/ac
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:33, Reply)

^

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:44, Reply)

Too many undignified, clichéd weeping at graves and memorials for my liking.
I like the koala having a nice drink of water though.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:36, Reply)

A koala bit my nipple once, it really hurt :(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:37, Reply)

lol
We saw a baby swan yesterday!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:38, Reply)

Do you think it was a cygn?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:41, Reply)

get this right...
Koalas get all of their water from their diet of eucalyptus and so never need to drink!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:42, Reply)

Unless in the middle of a forest fire where their food and water sources are somewhat depleted.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:44, Reply)

Fuck knows
I polished off a fair amount of Morgan's Spiced with the missus whilst watching the last 4 episodes of 24 last night. I'm hoping for nothing too complex than tying my shoelaces today.

Altalt: Food at meetings is on the same level as food at the cinema for me. Can't you fat fucks go more than a couple of hours without filling your faces? Especially when you're supposed to be talking.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:41, Reply)

DAAAAAA-DDDYYYYYYY!!!!
Alt: I though Frog was more short and fat than butch and burly.
Altalt: A cup of tea, brewing.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:44, Reply)

Not clickin dis from 6 different 'devices'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:46, Reply)

name them

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:47, Reply)

sock accounts are for pricks

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:51, Reply)

WELL SOMEONE'S UPSET ALREADY

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:52, Reply)

he's positively foaming at the mouth

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:53, Reply)

Who?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:54, Reply)

tangles, he's a furious ball of vituperation

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:55, Reply)

I don't know what any of you mean and none of that happened

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:54, Reply)

you even invented a trip to see an imaginary ex-girlfriend so you would have an alibi

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:56, Reply)

I posted 'Where's my £250???' and SOMEONE deleted it and I don't know why

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:56, Reply)

You're a benevolent man, a good friend and extremely modest about your income and your work for charity
But if you could just lend us, say, another £500 for school uniforms, I swear down I'll see you right on pay day and not spend it all on cans.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:59, Reply)

just don't mention the relapse into Class A drug abuse

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:00, Reply)

No problem. Friend.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:01, Reply)

oaming izzing
mouth gusset
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:13, Reply)

deletion is for winners m8

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 8:53, Reply)

I prefer sausage baguettes and bacon baps

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:16, Reply)

The kids or needing a piss, normally
Nee thunder up here last night, though it was warm as fuck.

My kids are terrified of flies for some reason

AltAlt:
4 x muffins
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:18, Reply)

Is the reason 'Daddy switching off 64 Zoo Lane to watch David Cronenberg films'

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:25, Reply)

Probably half right
I hate 64 Zoo Lane. The theme tune is an annoying earworm
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:26, Reply)

If you stopped unzipping them then they may get over their fear

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:26, Reply)

I put too much strain on the zip, sorry

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:27, Reply)

Hernia yeah

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:29, Reply)

I wouldnt be quite so happy, tbh

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:35, Reply)

Usually the marvellous combination of morning glory and needing a piss
I like doing the counting thing from Poltergeist during thunderstorms. People who are already scared of thunder should try this.

AltAlt: I bet it's not your first time with unwanted sausage in the morning
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:24, Reply)

Bacon
No storms here. Well not that my deaf ears heard. I love a storm tho.
Altalt. A week off after today! Hurrah.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:25, Reply)

Thunder riiiiiiiiise. Niggers in the morning.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:26, Reply)

Bit racist m8
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:28, Reply)

Thunderstorms?
Nah, slept through that.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:29, Reply)

slept was passed out drunk
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:31, Reply)

Me too, but the missus woke me up
when she went to sit the windows because the storm woke her up.

So I killed her.
( Kroney, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:44, Reply)

Needing a piss mostly,
Alt, no thunder storms up here in the culturally barren wastelands of the north. But they are in the post. Big Brave Charlie the massive Labrador cross that barks at anyone that comes to the house, is also shit scared of thunder and howls like a big girly cry puppy, I mock him for this.

altalt bacon and egg bap, with brown sauce. because they are good
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:29, Reply)

Work gets me out of bed. and hunger.
Spiders terrify me for a good reason. the antipodes is full of them.

I just finished soup.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:31, Reply)

Yeah but you get SPIDERS whereas we get spiders

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:36, Reply)

exactly. But Snakes don't bother me at all, which is weird, because we also have SNAKES.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:37, Reply)

Every animal in Australia is trying to kill you

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:37, Reply)

Its almost as if the animals dont want the white man there

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:38, Reply)

Pretty much.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:40, Reply)

Tough tuckers luck

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:42, Reply)

been here a bit too long to leave now I guess.
what's up athletics bovine?
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:43, Reply)

My cholesterol after 3 muffins

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 10:02, Reply)

not your blood pressure during the morning commute?

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 10:06, Reply)

It's alright, climate change is steadily turning the whole continent into a dust bowl
TAKE THAT NATURE, MAN IS THE ULTIMATE HUNTER
( Kroney, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:43, Reply)

Hey man, have you SEEN how fucking cold and wet it's been here at the moment??
It's almost on par with england. It's awesome.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:46, Reply)

Its ok
I am sure there will be a massive drought soon followed by wildfire.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:54, Reply)

most likely. It seems to go like that.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:56, Reply)

Worst decade for wildfires on record, apparently.

( Kroney, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:57, Reply)

you have no idea. During the summer there was a dry lightning storm one night - the oval across the river caught fire. It just goes so bone dry in the summer that it just takes the littlest thing.
Think in the last few years more than 500 people have died in victoria alone due to the fires.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 10:05, Reply)

We have have just settled out the 2008 fire claims
AUD 398m plus AUD 100m from the Victorian govt.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 10:08, Reply)

Pah like thats a real currency

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 10:11, Reply)

we?
you're in Aus now?? I knew there'd been a settlement but wasn't sure how much it was. I've been living in the lab at uni.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 10:12, Reply)

I'm in London
but loads of our business is Aussie.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 10:13, Reply)

ahhhhhhhhhh. I was a bit lost for a minute.
Mind you, I'm a bit lost about a lots of things that aren't directly related to my uni stuff at the moment.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 10:16, Reply)

Have you been doing the MASH

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 10:21, Reply)

the monster mash?

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 10:22, Reply)

hello stranger!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:37, Reply)

hiya.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:37, Reply)

alt: That storm was pretty damn noisy
dropped right back off though. /notapussy
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:54, Reply)

My morning flagpole and a mug of coffee, usually.
Alt: No. Everything is better in the north, so no thunderstorms here. I'm just back from a fortnight in Florida and I have to say that they certainly know how to do thunderstorms there. Fucking beauties. Makes our storms look like light drizzle.

AltAlt: Sounds fucking brilliant. WTF is wrong with you woman?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 18 Jul 2014, 10:05, Reply)

My legs and arms, generally
Alt: Nope.

AltAlt: That sounds fucking excellent.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 10:27, Reply)