Shall we have a proper thread?
Where have you been expecting it to be shit and finding it to be great?
Where have you been expecting it to be great and finding it to be shit?

Alt:
Bad idea
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:28, 108 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

YM's fanny.
YM's arse.

Alt: Paper condoms.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:31, Reply)

your sperm must be swimming in tiny confused circles after all that booze anyway

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:33, Reply)

WIN!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:44, Reply)

Went to a friend's wedding earlier in the year.
It was proper budget stuff - held in a Travelodge or something, everyone asked to bring a bottle, Mrs V and I were asked to bring a few CDs of tunes, invite was just a photocopied note ... it appeared to be really shoddily done. I'm not saying expensive = great, but it did seem to have little thought for the guests and more thought of money-saving put into it. It was held on a Sunday, and we were expecting to make our excuses at about 3pm. It turned out it was actually a jolly good laugh and fun was had by all, and we both had to pull sickies the next day to recover.

Expecting greatness and it being shit: getting to a new level on a computer game.

Alt: yer. I'll go now.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:32, Reply)

Chompy got married?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:34, Reply)

Best romcom ever.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:36, Reply)

sounds ghastly

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:44, Reply)

No, it sounds good
People are supposed to enjoy weddings, not just marvel at how much they cost
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:47, Reply)

of course not, but I ent going to no travel tavern and bringing my own booze

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:48, Reply)

That was our thought, but it turned out it really was the company that was important.
It was a really good laugh.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:50, Reply)

i disagree

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:51, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:52, Reply)

100k minimum

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:49, Reply)

I wonder how much people enjoyed their £100k jaunt across the Forth Bridge.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:49, Reply)

yes
lincoln. i thought it would be like nottingham. it's beautiful and the cathedral is genuinely awe-inspiring.

the embankment on the millennium eve. no booze, no pissers, no ability to leave and get the house party our more sensible friends were having. and the liquid river of fire didn't work.

alt: using cayenne chilli pepper to spice up my boring raw nuts. i have been sneezing orange pepper for the last 20 minutes and my lips taste like fire.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:33, Reply)

All New Year's Eve celebrations are shit and for cunts.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:35, Reply)

This.
As my friend put it "The thought of going out for New Year's Eve these days fills me with horror."
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:38, Reply)

I was asleep before midnight last New Years.

( Peej, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:40, Reply)

well, aren't you three a treat

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:43, Reply)

I dint say not party, but as you've amply demonstrated above
Being out in public for it is shit.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:43, Reply)

Yeah - I like to see it in, but on the telly is fine.
Let the old year out and the new year in, then carry on drinking until unconscious, as usual.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:43, Reply)

this^
Who gives a fuck?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:43, Reply)

I like to try and get a new years shag in but thats about it
I always think that if I start before 12 and finish after I can count it as twice (11.59 - 00.01)
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:55, Reply)

I stayed at a marina in Lincoln once.
It was proper JG Ballard.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:46, Reply)

he inspired "video killed the radio star"
all credibility instantly lost
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:52, Reply)

he also inspired 'Warm Leatherette'
Credibility regained.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:55, Reply)

buggles off

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:57, Reply)

you certainly aren't Normal

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:58, Reply)

seriously?
Nothing for this?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:11, Reply)

"it's only dozer so nobody cares"

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:15, Reply)

'legal tender'

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:15, Reply)

^ only wee dozer ^

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:19, Reply)

Going by the previous two days, I'm expecting it to be shit on here today.
Time will tell if I find it to be great.
I was expecting to post a great reply here, but I've found it to be shit.

Alt: Yes it was.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:33, Reply)

Seriously? I've been gone a couple of days and OT somehow gets even worse.

( Peej, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:34, Reply)

Thank goodness you're back to save it again.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:36, Reply)

I am the saviour of OT.

( Peej, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:38, Reply)

You've got your work cut out.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:42, Reply)

w r c c
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:43, Reply)

Being a parent; best thing I've ever done despite the fatigue/cost/loss of own life
life

alt: posting real life dramas on here in a flurry of bitter retribution
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:46, Reply)

It's the occasional flurries of bitter retribution that keep me coming back here.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:48, Reply)

this is true
Who else has some dark secrets to spill?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:49, Reply)

*whistles*

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:50, Reply)

that frog has always been a wrong'un

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:51, Reply)

+up

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:27, Reply)

Doesnt take seriously

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:18, Reply)

Go on then
I expected Disneyland to be shit, I actually had a really good time.
I expected some game or film or something to be great but it was fucking shit!

Alt. As a kid I found an unexploded firework. I opened it and poured a pile of the contents on the garden path. I then put a thin 1m long trail of powder leading away from the pile. I was expecting it to be like in the movies where the trail burns slowly until it hits the pile and then explodes. The moment I lit the trail the whole lot exploded in my face and set my clothes on fire.
( Peej, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:49, Reply)

so THAT explains your face
i did wonder
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:50, Reply)

It would explain Benedict Cumberbatch's face.

( Peej, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:51, Reply)

i just assumed someone put out your burning face with a spade
and then pissed on it for good measure
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:52, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2116512
( Peej, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:54, Reply)

i was lying on the internet..........

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:57, Reply)

I do hope that you didn't let on to your wife, or whoever made you go there, that you enjoyed it.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:51, Reply)

sounds ghastly

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:52, Reply)

Pearoast for alt
A few years back a fellow b3tan and I decided to knock together a few smoke bombs. I ordered some potassium nitrate and fuse wire from ebay and mixed it at a 3:2 ratio with some sugar. We put it in a pan at a very low heat and stirred continuously until it was the colour and consistency of peanut butter. We then spooned it in to bits of toilet roll tubes cut in to three with foil wrapped around the bottoms. We poked a hole in the still malleable paste with a pencil. When they were solid (which doesn't take long) we put a piece of safety fuse in each held in place with a bit of cotton wool. We set one off in the garden and they worked very well. Loads of thick white smoke and the reaction was volatile enough to burn the foil. Once we had used them all up we decided to make some more. Same recipe except this time I cranked up the heat to speed it up. I remember stirring and suddenly feeling a tiny sticking sensation like striking a match and then the contents of the pan exploded in my face spraying molten sugar and thick white smoke everywhere. Somehow I was unharmed and thanks to the stone flooring in the kitchen the floor was ok where I had dropped the pan. The kitchen sides had a few speckles where the molten sugar had melted them but it was pretty much ok. We opened the back door and waited outside for the smoke to clear, except it didn't. I went back inside and opened every window and door and stood out the front to convince the neighbours the house wasn't on fire. After about half an hour the smoke had almost cleared and I had managed to clear all the mess off of the kitchen floor. All seemed well then the wife arrived home. "Why are all the windows open she asked" We told her we were just airing the house out she eyed us suspiciously and said she was going to make a cup of tea. We had gotten away with setting fire to her kitchen! She went to the kitchen and opened a cupboard to get the tea bags.

It was full of thick white smoke.
( Peej, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:53, Reply)

ha!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:58, Reply)

Hahahahahaha.
Fucking bitch!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 10:59, Reply)

Excellent work

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:07, Reply)

High Tatras. Absolutely beautiful.
London. Absolute shit hole.

Alt: Spending too long thinking up clever answers to these things.
( Muns, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:09, Reply)

when a man is tired of london he is tired of life
what I'm saying is you should probably kill yourself
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:11, Reply)

What part of it is actually any fucking good?
Edit: Except for tourist attractions.
( Muns, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:13, Reply)

any bit where i am

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:14, Reply)

So loads of it then

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:14, Reply)

hahaha

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:16, Reply)

Clicking this.

( Muns, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:16, Reply)

i hope you choke on your cucumber

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:18, Reply)

i dunt have a cucumber

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:23, Reply)

in your hendricks
you gumboil
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:23, Reply)

i loves a bit of hendricks

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:28, Reply)

Hey Joe

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:28, Reply)

Loads of it.
Start at The Blackfriars pub, then wander along the Southbank and watch a film at the NFT, before taking your sup at any of the interesting street food stalls around, and then going into Soho for an evening of debauchery, drunkenness and substance abuse.

Great fun.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:18, Reply)

sounds shit
#justsaying
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:22, Reply)

you sound shit

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:25, Reply)

I am shit

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:29, Reply)

Last timeI was in London, I got a kebab on a garlic nan bread, with cheese, awesome.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:22, Reply)

I had one of them from a kebab shop in Derby. It was also awesome.
Still nothing special about London.
( Muns, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:24, Reply)

We don't have a kebab shop locally :((

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:34, Reply)

maybe you could sell them from behind the bar

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:34, Reply)

We are going for the gastro crowd.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:36, Reply)

Try for the gastrict band crowd, those fuckers spend a fortune on food and booze.

( Muns, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:38, Reply)

^ Siralan

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 12:13, Reply)

What are your thoughts on the latest idea from CAMRA?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:36, Reply)

Never to lie?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:46, Reply)

Buck off

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:49, Reply)

All of the bits that aren't north of the M25.

( Kroney, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:28, Reply)

Problem is that Samuel Johnson was a prick and a knobend

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:15, Reply)

London is ok to visit.
This remake of King Kong looks a bit rubbish tbh.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:12, Reply)

I have very low expectations so I expect everything to be shit. So if it's not it's a bonus.
"He who expects nothing will not be disappointed" is my motto.

Alt: I NEVER have bad ideas.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:25, Reply)

Was anyone expecting this thread to be great then?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:34, Reply)

Never.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:35, Reply)

My friends wedding this year was an absolutely perfect day from start to finish.
Proper swanky do.
Im hoping the zoo is good this weekend too. It will probably rain.

I got woke up by immigration police hammering on my door this morning, they were actually after the folk upstairs. 2 vans full! No arrests though, that was shit.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:45, Reply)

council estates are full of forrins these days

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:45, Reply)

I rent privately, thank you.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:49, Reply)

+ my arse

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:49, Reply)

Curse you and your speedy fingers
DingDong
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:50, Reply)

This is gay talk isnt it?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:49, Reply)

Is this a euphemism?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:51, Reply)

no.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:52, Reply)

Oi knob end I asked you a question up there ^

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:54, Reply)

He's wondering what kind of zoom the lens has.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:55, Reply)

I don't think legislation will change things, if that's what you're referring to.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 12:01, Reply)

It was

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 12:28, Reply)

B3ta
B3ta

alt: B3ta. Or YM
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:54, Reply)

good this

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 11:55, Reply)

shit this

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 12:18, Reply)