Cor Blimey indeed
Have you all been wanking yourself blue? Where is everyone?

So the kids are back at school this week. School stories?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:21, 64 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

I went to school.
OLD SKOOL!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:27, Reply)

I am so hungover I can taste death in my mouth.

( Kroney, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:29, Reply)

Now you know how your Mrs feels.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:29, Reply)

She's grudgingly nurse maiding me.
I disgust her on many levels.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:32, Reply)

Thats my favourite part of a hangover

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:31, Reply)

It feels like somebody upended a toolbox over my head.

( Kroney, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:33, Reply)

I prescribe fluids, chocolate and nommynommy bacon

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:39, Reply)

When the holidays are over
I might pay an £80 fine and take someones kids on holiday.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:30, Reply)

lol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:31, Reply)

Mine starts next year I think. She's four in October, that is 2015 start right?Or 2016? I should really check.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:31, Reply)

2015 start, yes
Calf 2 starts reception on Wednesday
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:32, Reply)

That's it. Get them working from a young age.
Can she type?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:33, Reply)

haha!
He cannot, no
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:38, Reply)

WHAT!
Working in reception is bitch work.

Get him sweeping chimneys. Character building innit.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:39, Reply)

She's desperate to go now, our neighbour's kid starts now, and she was jealous of the uniform.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:35, Reply)

+ french maid
YOU SICKEN ME
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:43, Reply)

working innit
fucking schools. there were no taxis to be had for love nor money this morning, so i had to carry in all the stuff for tonight AND my new shoes in their shiny box, and the tube was rammed. fucking schools.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:34, Reply)

^^broody. Body clock ticking down?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:37, Reply)

ghastly how the end of the school holidays clogs up the city
burn them all. stupid breeders.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:38, Reply)

Don't kids get buses to school?
Or public transport? Nothing gives a kid a sense on entitlement like getting a cab to school.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:38, Reply)

i think it's all their skanky parents going back to work

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:38, Reply)

SO?
Little Tarquin and Shaniqua should be getting buses or, and I know this will be controversial, WALKING.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:40, Reply)

i agree
but they don't. the tube is full of skanky uniforms, and smelly teenage boys. why do teenage boys stink?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:49, Reply)

A smelly man sat next to me this morning, it made me feel sick, I had to get off and change carriages at Green Park
True story
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:52, Reply)

Are these people not aware?
You can get cheap deoderant.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:22, Reply)

Probably not halal or some other such shit

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:23, Reply)

Their God is so restricting.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:24, Reply)

A lot have alcohol in.
but, you know, the majority don't and would be fine. It's laziness and the fact they don't care.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:28, Reply)

smelly food, dirty clothes, skanky bastards

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:29, Reply)

beer, wine, wanking

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:29, Reply)

Teenage girls stink too

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:14, Reply)

I dont think they have fucking schools...
Todays lesson: correct use of lube in anal
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:45, Reply)

Ok I've wanked to all of the leaked pictures now.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:40, Reply)

Now apologise to the children and take them to school.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:41, Reply)

School ent even open yet

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:45, Reply)

This has been a few fairly surreal morning
Internet guy is here, banging headache and Avril Lavigne chowing down on a healthy bratwurst.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:42, Reply)

I need more picture investigation

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:44, Reply)

That one looked fake to me

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:44, Reply)

didnt stop you though eh...

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:45, Reply)

Not a bit

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:47, Reply)

Probably

( Kroney, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:46, Reply)

I've seen Kirsten Dunst's knockers.
It's really not how I thought my Monday would start.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:45, Reply)

I wonder if they do requests

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:47, Reply)

There wouldn't have been anything to leak if they didn't

( Kroney, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:51, Reply)

Kirsten Dunst's Leaky Knockers
That should be a game show
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:55, Reply)

If at first you fail everything at school because you're fick, get creative and make up a cv with exam attainments anyway. I did and was global marketing director for pizza hut within ten years !

(Mr Udagawa, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:48, Reply)

To be fair, if he did make it that far on a tissue of lies, that's quite impressive.
Or are the job titles on the cv made up too?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:51, Reply)

How do I know, I'm not his psychiatrist.

(Mr Udagawa, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 11:57, Reply)

Man, I bet he could tell some tales

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:04, Reply)

Luckily there are feminists on hand to let us know what awful rapists all men are
www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/sep/01/if-you-click-on-jennifer-lawrences-naked-pictures-youre-perpetuating-her-abuse?CMP=twt_gu
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:05, Reply)

Some men seem to be very good rapists
I mean they wouldn't keep doing it if they were awful at it.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:15, Reply)

Van Badham seems to be remarkably stupid and naive for a journalist in a national newspaper.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:19, Reply)

Orrstraaaalian innit

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:22, Reply)

It's a completely unnecessarily controversial article.
People that have looked at the photos have comitted a sexual assault against Jennifer Lawrence? And btw, let's lengthen the life this story and make more people look.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:25, Reply)

Gotta do something to make up for the continuing demise of print media

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:26, Reply)

Not that I read that all, but no talk of their male counterparts.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:20, Reply)

HIYA!!
I've been wiring pc's this morning and setting up new email accounts. How thrilling!!

What kind of group was everyone in at school? I was kind of in the middle group. Not too popular but not too nerdy.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:20, Reply)

I was the leader of the popular cool people and still am in many ways

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:22, Reply)

well done you!
and they say education is wasted
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:25, Reply)

I was too cool and popular to bother with education and still am in many ways

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:27, Reply)

Top 5%.
Cool kids.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:26, Reply)

They made a sit com about that
I think they called it "Middle group"
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:34, Reply)

The Inbetweeners

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:41, Reply)

hi gang!
I went to the same schools as Michael Gove and Tom Stoppard!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 12:28, Reply)