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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Buying/Selling
AS some of you probably know, I'm once again trying to sell my house. I've had a decent amount of viewings and a few offers but its fucking annoying that viewers aren't giving feedback

Tell me tales of your best and worst sales and purchases please

Alt:
Peanut Butter in confectionery. Yay or Nay
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:29, 145 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
I'll give you £100

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:31, Reply)
Note: this ^ is not a legally binding statement

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:31, Reply)
yes please

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:21, Reply)
ANSWER YOUR GAZZES WOMAN

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:26, Reply)
I DON'T HAVE ANY!!!

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:38, Reply)
THEN I'VE COCKGAZZED THE WRONG PERSON!

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:44, Reply)
AGAIN

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:46, Reply)
MY POOR EYES

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:46, Reply)

sorry
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:51, Reply)
Sure, does he have to do anything for that £100 though?

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:55, Reply)
Post some pictures of the house and we can offer you some feedback on why they might not be buying

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:32, Reply)
Hmmm
Get fucked
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:45, Reply)
Well it's hardly surprising you can't sell your house with that attitude

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:49, Reply)
What a prick eh

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:52, Reply)
I reckon its this one
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-32221506.html
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:55, Reply)
Is there a joke I'm missing here?

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:57, Reply)
Nah I just randomly picked a house in newcastle

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:16, Reply)
Great Park is in the middle of nowhere
Right next to the A1 and the airport. Nice houses, shit location
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:24, Reply)
Great! Park

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:04, Reply)
4 bedroomed town house.
Admittedly a ghastly one, but that's still tens of thousands of pounds cheaper than the two bed flats I'm looking at.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:48, Reply)
£235k and my house is yours
Just also buy a massive truck and ship it down the A1
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:51, Reply)
My 3 bed detached house (18th century stone built)
with cellar gardens front and back, in a nature reserve and an area of outstanding natural beauty etc etc etc.
Cost less than Monty's Lahndan shoe box that he sold, madness I tell ya
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:55, Reply)
Our budget spanks sporto's asking price.
And we're still not guaranteed a second bedroom, depending on area. We've got enough money to buy a full on mansion in other parts of the country. It is completely insane on paper, but the reality is what it is.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:59, Reply)
I know
it must be hugely frustrating in all honesty,
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:02, Reply)
Still, at least minimum wage is regional and it's a level playing field for all....
Oh, hang on.....
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:30, Reply)
I bought a Saab for £500.
I spent double that on getting the brakes rebuilt (after replacing the burst power steering hose myself) only for the steering rack to loose a tooth.

Only got about £150 from the scrapyard in the end.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:33, Reply)
I once bought a Polo off ebay for 2K.
Was perfect for a couple of months, but then failed it's MOT because the ABS light wasn't coming on when the ignition was turned on. Turns out someone had put a black piece of card in front of all of the warning lights, which were all on.

Got £150 for scrap.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:44, Reply)
haha!
My old Mazda 323 suddenly got aircon when I realised the button had a black sticker over it.

It didn't have aircon
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:45, Reply)
Ouch.
The £500 Astra I had before that was a trooper that refused to die on me. It looked like shit, and towards the end, drove like shit -with a nice unpredictable air of what direction it would veer to if you let off acceleration to change gear (which whilst effortless for me, proved difficult for other drivers as the gates were a bit fucked) or applied the brake.

I also changed the exhaust with one out of a scrappy. It had rotted away so I was usually charging about with about a foot of silencing hair hanging out of it.

It was so dirty it had a tendency to turn passengers hands black just by them entering it.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:11, Reply)
I bought some 'waterproof' walking shoes for £12 that started soaking up water like a sponge after only a month
FUCK YOU SPORTS DIRECT
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:35, Reply)
original price £80 my arse

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:35, Reply)
Are SD seconds or something?
Every pair of trainers I've bought from them has lasted less time than ones I haven't despite not costing much more.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:38, Reply)
^ Hi-Tec Silver Shadow wearer.

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:40, Reply)
Sports Direct are a monumental bunch of cunts
Try getting your money back for anything.....
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:43, Reply)
Therein lies the success of their business model.
When it costs more to park close to one for half an hour than any item you purchase might have cost you, the motivation to return items is removed.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:45, Reply)
I purchased an icon to support a website that was MEGA LOLZ
Then the site stopped being as funny.

Coincidence?
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:38, Reply)
Are you saying it's all your fault it's so shit here?

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:44, Reply)
I blame those EU criminals.
Coming over here, murdering our tax rates.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:46, Reply)
He is the elephant icon in the room

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:46, Reply)
You know that telly show 'Location, Location, Location'
There was probably a reason why it wasn't called 'Ho'way, Ho'way,Ho'way'

I think that might answer your house-selling-woes issue.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:43, Reply)
They've done quite a few round our way

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:47, Reply)
I think the whole set-up needs reform.
Especially now its like the wild west, rampant gazumping and worse. Given how nasty it is, I would even advise buyers to just put in an offer on everything you see - fuck em, nothing to loose.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:48, Reply)
The problem is everyone's a selfish prick so the first thing they want to do once they get on the property ladder is pull the bastard up behind them.

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:20, Reply)
^ bitter renter

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:26, Reply)
how would that help?
or are you suggesting they should spend the money on searches and surveys for everything too?
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:24, Reply)
When things are moving on the timescale of hours and days, people can put in offers on several places and see which pan out well (get to the survey stage).
They would then have to withdraw the other offers - would be a pain for sellers, but then they do a similar thing by courting increased offers up to exchange.

I recon a buyer should have to put in a deposit when making an offer (something like a grand), which they loose if they drop out (except for reasons of survey etc.). If the seller pulls out, or wants to take a different offer, they can be sued for fees and timewasting (something like a couple of grand).
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:35, Reply)
you think people don't put in multiple offers? er, ok then
the scottish system, for once, is better, in that once offers are accepted, that's it.

your idea of being able to sue the seller won't work. claims for a couple of grand aren't worth paying a lawyer for, because the fees would exceed it, and you don't get your costs back in the small claims court. and most people don't have the time or the ability to pursue it themselves.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:38, Reply)
Putting in multiple offers is cuntish, IMO - you are agreeing to buy the house. But so is accepting other offers after you've agreed to sell to someone else.
The current system only works if people have a modicum of honour.

But yeah, I haven't really thought it through, the scottish system is probably better. (House buying system, that is. Not the obesity and drug addiction system).
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:44, Reply)
it's a vicious circle
people put in multiple offers because they know the sellers will keep looking until they've exchanged.

my dad once refused to gazump his buyer because he didn't think it was a fair way to do business. MORE PEOPLE SHOULD BE LIKE HIM.

just not in all his other bad habits...
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:47, Reply)
It's a shame the age of the 'gentleman's agreement' is over
Once you get a critical mass of cunts, everyone has to start acting like a cunt.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:56, Reply)
The Scottish system is terrible in areas of high demand.
You get people slamming in insane offers just to scoop places, usually middle age folk using them to rent as a retirement plan.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:46, Reply)
it needs a bit of a reform
in a shop, if they give you an invitation to treat, to say you can buy that sandwich for a fiver, you pick the sandwich up and take it to the till. you offer to buy it. at that point, the shop doesn't wrestle the sandwich off you and sell it to the man behind you for £6. it accepts your offer and completes the transaction.

this simple formula should apply to house transactions: accepting an offer is binding, subject to the buyer complying with timescales etc.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:48, Reply)
Who pays £5 for a sarnie?
oh...
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:52, Reply)
You can get two for less than a quid in Wilkinson

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:06, Reply)
What's a Wilkinson?
Is it a northern thing?
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:10, Reply)
I'm no economist
but my intuition is that the wild west English system would tend to inflate prices more quickly than the binding Scottish one.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:54, Reply)
Except in areas of high wealth and high demand.
Where people whack 50 grand on a blind offer just to secure it because they know they're getting it back on inflation and rent.

See that 50 grand? That's not covered by your mortgage. How on earth do you expect a first time buyer to have that and a deposit?
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:59, Reply)
How would that be different in the English system?
Except that anyone else can come along at any time up to exchange and put in an even higher offer.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:04, Reply)
I have never in my life made a bad purchase.

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:49, Reply)
Although I did make an investment in 2012. Netted me 5.5 million USD but then I was killed
in a horrific car crash later that year, so it was a bit of a waste.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:56, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:22, Reply)
Your cars say otherwise

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:26, Reply)
My car is awesome.
It'll be awesomer still once I get the heater replaced and put all the dash bits back I took out three months ago.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:32, Reply)
I refer the right honourable gentleman back to my earlier statement

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:50, Reply)
Seconded

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:58, Reply)
^pair of screeching nancy boys^

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:00, Reply)
How many months has your car been off the road as a percentage of your ownership?

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:04, Reply)
0

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:05, Reply)
Or as close to it as makes no odds.

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:05, Reply)
My lord the defense brings up item 1.
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2236043
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:06, Reply)
also
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2094100
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:07, Reply)
You were insinuating break downs. That was an improvement.
Though barely caught before the entire engine exploded, but still. NOT A BREAKDOWN.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:10, Reply)
hahahaha
The James May defence
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:12, Reply)
That was the arse-clenchingest drive I've ever done
Every gear change, thick blue clouds of smoke. Every time I let off the accelerator or pushed the pedal, thick blue clouds of smoke.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:15, Reply)
blown rings?
I had a beautiful Lotus Sunbeam with an overdrive button that blow the rings doing 80 on the M1 the smoke behind was awesome
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:18, Reply)
Yeah, number 3 had chewed it to almost nothing.
I was on borrowed time on that drive.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:21, Reply)
ring 5's
oh hang on that don't sound right
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:22, Reply)
That would be why I didn't say "the ring had been chewed to almost nothing"

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:23, Reply)
Sexhy sexhy rings

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:26, Reply)
i had to go for a meeting earlier
was in a hurry to get back, so flagged down a black cab. he drove past me a bit because i was standing on a crossing, so i ran down and got in. turned out later i'd stolen a cab from two poor old men... i swear down i never even saw them or nuffink, bruv.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:35, Reply)
Alright sporto
That deal on chromecasts is back on and I've made the plunge. How are you getting on with yours?
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:47, Reply)
Its rather good, yes
Got it plugged into the TV upstairs and mainly use it to cast BBC iPlayer and Netflix
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:49, Reply)
Spoilsportscow

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:51, Reply)
:o(

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:52, Reply)
I'm just looking into the possibilities
I've found something that'll play media files from your PC to the Chromecast so I'll be happy enough. I can also get a 3 month free trial of NowTV with it that'll give us Sky Atlantic for a bit.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:55, Reply)
I just torrent anything I dont get on Netflix

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:56, Reply)
which is ...
a lot
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:09, Reply)
I'm just catching up on a load of old series at the minute
Netflix is brilliant for that
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:25, Reply)
Woah, bad move - it turns out they are a terrible waste of money and ruin all your equipment

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:50, Reply)
?
How and why?
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:52, Reply)
No idea, I was just being a prick

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:53, Reply)
Ahh, OK
For £18, I took the plunge. Its quite clever really
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:56, Reply)
Can you pick up radio 4 on it?

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:57, Reply)
Probably, yes

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:57, Reply)

p C
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:59, Reply)
NOMNOMNOM

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:24, Reply)
Alright 'Bill Clay'
Could you kindly point me in the direction of this deal?

Thanks and kind wishes

Meatsnake Poster
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:55, Reply)
Sure bub
www.hotukdeals.com/deals/wuaki-chromecast-offer-back-get-a-free-chromecast-buy-a-tv-series-19-99-2011925
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:56, Reply)
Cheers man

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:57, Reply)
Discussions on house prices are really dull
Just saying
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:00, Reply)
The whole afternoon has been a write off until Bill sorted it out with the Chromecast Chat

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:02, Reply)
I also think we should only ever talk about stuff you personally are interested in
you self centred cock.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:04, Reply)
Bought any new records lately?

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:07, Reply)
Not recently, no. It's all been car stuff.
Thinking about it this month, though!
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:09, Reply)
lol povvo renter

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:05, Reply)
We are a dull people
it's in our genes.

But at least we don't have 'nicking stuff' and 'stabbing people' in our genes.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:11, Reply)
I had some fuckwit at work trying to convince other idiots that you can change your Genes through nutrition

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:13, Reply)
He's partially right
if he was talking about eating radium.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:15, Reply)
I was in the pub the other night chatting to a tradesman and he went into some speel about how taking 'minerals' can cure pretty much anything.
Words like 'effervescent wafer' were used. It sounded a bit like a sales pitch towards the end.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:19, Reply)
Ahh, wonderful minerals. The antidote to chemicals.

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:23, Reply)
I get bad science rage

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:28, Reply)
I once got a free pizza.

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:03, Reply)
if you have to wrestle a redsetter for it, it isnt free

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:05, Reply)
The car is up for grabs if anyone fancies it, one careful owner, then me, I'll clean the dog hairs out the back.

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:16, Reply)
What is it and how much

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:17, Reply)
dirty diesal landy if memory serves

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:21, Reply)
I'll give you 11p and 3 bags of salted Kettle chips

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:29, Reply)
Oh man 1 bag of kettle chips too much
now you look like a posho trying to mock the northerns
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:30, Reply)
If you've got it, flaunt it

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:33, Reply)
Just not in the park toilets
or you will get nicked.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:48, Reply)
Alt: No idea. Never tried it.

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:35, Reply)
Buy it, sell it, time's getting hard, cause someone's dealing you a losing card!
Haha, they all got in on that, didn't they. Fucking Bread. What a load of old shit that was, eh?
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:40, Reply)
Carla Lane scouse shits

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:42, Reply)
Our Aveline!!
That fucking chicken was shit too
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:43, Reply)
Who was the cunt who wanted to be a fucking poet?
And that twat who said 'greetings!' all the time. He was a cunt as well.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:47, Reply)
They were all cunts no need to single any out

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:48, Reply)
They probably all post on here, innit.

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:48, Reply)
I certainly do R Kid Greetings put money in chicken (grieve for chicken feotus)

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:56, Reply)
Interesting story
Many years ago I went round my school mates' house for dinner. His parents were late dropping me back home because they wanted to watch Bread before we left. When we got back to my house, I got out of my mates' dad's van, and was promptly hit by a bus. 2 weeks in hospital, 48 hours of IC, facial reconstructive surgery, etc. All Carla Lane's fault, as far as I'm concerned.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:48, Reply)
You should put in a claim.
They would have done. They'd have been straight down the 'Bennys' and got some cash for that.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:50, Reply)
You're right, they would have
For the first time in my life, I wish I was a scrounging scouse cunt.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:50, Reply)
The reconstructive surgery certainly explains the 2 hats

(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:56, Reply)
It was the late 80's
technology has improved since then :(
(, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:58, Reply)

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