morning

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 6:58, 144 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

MORNHOLES

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 7:42, Reply)

MORNHOLIO

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 7:56, Reply)

I AM THE GREAT MORNHOLIO

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:00, Reply)

I NEED TIPI FOR MY MORNHOLE

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:01, Reply)

hur hur
You said mornhole
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:03, Reply)

mornhole!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:05, Reply)

Who is this wuss?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:05, Reply)

these guys suck

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:08, Reply)

They don't look like lesbians to me

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:12, Reply)

lesbians

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:15, Reply)

a-huh-a-huh-a-huh!
/ac
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:16, Reply)

hey baby wanna?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:17, Reply)

not really

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:22, Reply)

I have braces
You have braces too.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:09, Reply)

It fucking is, an' all.
We're expecting a tradesman any minute. I hope none of the neighbours see him arrive.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:22, Reply)

I hope you've stocked up on coffee granules and sugar

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:23, Reply)

I believe we have some instant somewhere.
Sugar may be a bit hard to find. I haven't used it since the last time I baked.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:25, Reply)

Let him in through your tradesman's entrance.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:38, Reply)

Didn't we cover that yesterday?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:40, Reply)

Gonna need a bigger cover than that for yours, love.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:41, Reply)

How very dare you!
Cheeky cunt.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:49, Reply)

I don't know, man. I just don't know what to believe any more...

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:37, Reply)

the moon landings were faked!
Vaccines cause autism!

Turmeric is pronounced 'tumour-ic'!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:42, Reply)

don't forget chemtrails
www.orgoneblasters.com
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:54, Reply)

soz m8

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 9:01, Reply)

I tried to explain the aerodynamic and combustion reasons that aircraft leave trails to an American conspiracy nut
Might as well have been talking to my shoes
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 9:03, Reply)

It's the fluoride in our drinking water that drives people mad enough to invent these theories

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 9:05, Reply)

Don't make me hurt you

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 9:05, Reply)

^bdsm hulk

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 9:06, Reply)

pthc hulk more like!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 9:12, Reply)

Well, that or the state nanobots

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 9:06, Reply)

'Morning all

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 8:49, Reply)

I feel like shit.

( Kroney, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 9:29, Reply)

that thread was yesterday

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 9:32, Reply)

I suspect it's probably bad aids.
I'd get your affairs in order while you still can.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 21 Nov 2014, 9:41, Reply)

With his ugly mug, he's been lucky to snare one bird, never mind two or three

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 9:47, Reply)

One????
He's had half the women in his office, hasn't he?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 21 Nov 2014, 9:50, Reply)

Close
He once kidnapped and cut in half a woman in his office
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 9:57, Reply)

Just been a fairly regular visitor to one department over the years.
I'm not some sort of slag, you know.
( Kroney, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:02, Reply)

Well, if you weren't a slag
you wouldn't have bad aids now, would you?


Eh?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:09, Reply)

All my having bad aids means is that somebody's a slag.
Ain't necessarily me.
( Kroney, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:10, Reply)

Maybe only the one, but she'll do if I'm honest.

( Kroney, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:10, Reply)

\o/

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:10, Reply)

Bit gay, mate.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:12, Reply)

I just know my limits. Cold, calculating strategy, innit.

( Kroney, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:15, Reply)

You'll be getting engaged this xmas, then, yeah?
We've not had an /OT engagement since WP.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:20, Reply)

^ planning a new hat ^

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:24, Reply)

Good morning Team Internet
Its fucking Friday \o/ but I'm working tomorrow /o\
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 9:47, Reply)

Working Saturdays is shit

( Peej, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 9:50, Reply)

^this.
I have to do every other Saturday.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 21 Nov 2014, 9:52, Reply)

working Fridays is a bit shit
I'm off to manchistoh to drink whiskey
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 9:55, Reply)

I'd be jealous
apart from the whisky.

And the bit about Manchester.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 21 Nov 2014, 9:58, Reply)

Manchester's great if you like (a) enjoying yourself and (b) drizzle

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:01, Reply)

awww yeeeah

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:05, Reply)

Working Monday to Thursday isn't that great either.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:02, Reply)

that's why I took Monday off

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:06, Reply)

Very wise.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:13, Reply)

I'm like a 21st century Solomon me

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:16, Reply)

\o\
💃
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 9:56, Reply)

tggi

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:04, Reply)

I'm not working, but I will be driving around half of northern Surrey looking at houses.

( Kroney, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:03, Reply)

wow lucky you.

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:17, Reply)

I'm quite looking forward to it, actually.

( Kroney, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:19, Reply)

After about 6 months looking I was ready to fucking kill someone
especially when the missus decided that a house we had first looked at 3 months previously was the one she wanted...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:21, Reply)

Just do the sportscow method
See house on Rightmover at 10:30pm Friday
Ring for viewing 9:30am Saturday
View at 1pm Monday
Agree sale at 4pm Tuesday

DONE
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:26, Reply)

Did the agents have it next to the till?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:28, Reply)

The agents is in the next street
I wasn't messing around
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:30, Reply)

the key to buying any property is realistic expectations
you do need to see a few turds to realise that you're in the wrong area or need to drop a bedroom or summat. when i started looking, i strode off happily into knightsbridge. they all looked so lovely on the websites... 5 utter disgusting shitholes in one afternoon later, i revised my expectations west a bit, found my flat on the next trip.

but i was gobsmacked by the stupidity of the dude who showed me a 5 bedroom penthouse with 2 bedroom servant's quarters. it could have been stunning, but it hadn't been touched since the 1960's and needed thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, spending on it. i looked at him in disbelief. "it's in your price range," he shrugged, when i pointed out that i wanted a 2 bed that didn't need any work... what a moron.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:36, Reply)

Predictable and obvious...
2 bed half flat
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:39, Reply)

ah, don't do yourself down.

it was also stupid and unfunny....
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:45, Reply)

'what a moron'
Estate agent in 'not listening to customer' shock!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:48, Reply)

I find it very hard to believe that estate agents are useless barrowboy chancers. Very hard.

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:58, Reply)

i was a great letting agent
i really cared about people finding the right place, gave up evenings and weekends to show them around outside working hours, etc. but i was 20 and naive.

and not on commission.

and i had a crap old rover with "1 LET" on the licence plate, not a nifty little mini.

and someone wrote on it and made it say "TOILET" in indelible ink when i parked it for a viewing :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 11:00, Reply)

I'd like to shake that person's hand.
Unless it's all covered in spray paint and marker pen.
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 11:01, Reply)

My agent's about to get a shock
Fire service did a survey of the building. Lots and lots of work to be done.
I did warn him - several times, politely - but he's one of those 'franchise' types with no fucking clue.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 11:05, Reply)

Nah do the Peej method
Let the wife choose everything and drink a beer.
( Peej, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:30, Reply)

I started down that road
but apparently my opinion was valued. Until the point where my opinion was in conflict at which time I relented
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:32, Reply)

*votes Peej*

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:33, Reply)

Just do the Kroney method. Have a fucking great strop at an estate agent for constantly trying to upsell
and stop looking in London entirely through a spiteful, childish fit of sheer pique.
( Kroney, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 11:21, Reply)

HELLO!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 21 Nov 2014, 9:59, Reply)

Oh, fucking hell.
I'm surrounded by tradespeople.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:01, Reply)

I'll just get my wrench out *zzzzzzip*
Bow chicka bow!
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:02, Reply)

Yesh thish boiler ish definately very wet,
I will havsh to fill the pipesh
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:10, Reply)

is that a Pakistani with false teeth?

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:11, Reply)

He's cheap though, only ever charges a fiver.

( Kroney, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:13, Reply)

officechuckle

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:21, Reply)

I got a lift in today with a guy who listens to Radio 2
I was nice to hear Chris Evans hasn't stopped being a "pander to the masses, say what people want to hear, tosser go away CUNT"
( Peej, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:23, Reply)

i fucking hate radio 2
middle aged tosswank for middle aged and prematurely middle aged tosswanks.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:31, Reply)

I hate listening to the radio

( Peej, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:54, Reply)

9/11 was bad

( $$ ✅, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 10:38, Reply)

they had like one hit with Bodyshaking.
and even that was shit
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 11:06, Reply)