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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Pricks
I dreamt about work last night so woke up in a vile mood and now im here and its horrid.
What did you dream about?

alt. weekend plans
altalt. lunch

DO I HAVE TO THINK OF EVERYTHING?!

altaltalt. Im also vexed about The Suns anti Russell Brand campaign.
What are you vexed about?
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:12, 136 replies, latest was 9 years ago)


(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:16, Reply)
Your Rs are a bit funny

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:18, Reply)
You are arse's is a few funny.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:19, Reply)
I don't write by hand much soz

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:20, Reply)
What else do you write with?

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:25, Reply)
They call me either clever dick or smart arse.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:26, Reply)
i got a performer in Amsterdam to write a wedding card for a mate using a pen up her fanny
his missus was seriously unimpressed

Fantastic handwriting too.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:30, Reply)
I've been to that bar too
It's horrid
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:34, Reply)
it's only horrid if you don't like eating food out of strange women's vaginas
you gayer
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:42, Reply)
That and the challenge of drinking more than €40 worth of shit booze in an hour

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:48, Reply)
I don't think I drank any booze at all ... mebbe a half ... I'm not sure that was really the point

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:59, Reply)
wdtm

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:30, Reply)
Its means I'm sending you a box of lametta Kroners! MERRY EXMASS!

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:34, Reply)
Strange MSG-induced dreams where I was waiting in an airport in Kiev and not recognising anyone
Alt: depends on the Doris, we may be shopping for Xmas presents, I may be putting shelving in her pantry (not a euphemism).
Altalt: Nothing. I'm not feeling great so I'm living on tea at the moment.
Altaltalt: Many, many things. Mostly that we still haven't lynched any bankers.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:19, Reply)
msg doesn't induce dreams

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:19, Reply)
Must've been some other ingredient in the Chinese meal.
I always get odd dreams when I've been eating Chinese food.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:24, Reply)
Seriously though. a thread about dreams? Fuck right off.
There is little more boring than hearing about other peoples dreams.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:20, Reply)
Thunder only happens when it's raining

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:21, Reply)
You know you got to have them
You know you got to be strong
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:34, Reply)
sex alt sex altalt sex or chips altaltalt my minuscule penis

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:20, Reply)
You know you're having a bad B3ta day when Captain Placid has the best response :(

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:21, Reply)
Placid Tries Harder, Cockend.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:39, Reply)
I love you really, bollockhead

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:48, Reply)
We still haven't cleared up why you call taking on a legal case a sale.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:21, Reply)
cos we get paid

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:23, Reply)
I guess in a very basic sense that makes it a sale.
But it seems like you're trying to apply sakes language to a phone jockey job to make yourselves feel better about being the lowest form of cold call scum.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:24, Reply)
You're putting more thought into my job than I do.
Have a biscuit and calm down, dear.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:48, Reply)
Possibly, but it's still not a sale.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:56, Reply)
I don't create the jargon

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:08, Reply)
Well done on inflating everyones insurance premiums faggott

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:26, Reply)
Hey, now, he just handles the data. It's not his fault.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:30, Reply)
Wurr Jas has a heart of gold but the iq of a vegetubble, it's little wonder he's landed himself a bottomfeeders coldcalling gig.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:33, Reply)
everything is selling, windle
life is basically one long cold call towards the grave
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:23, Reply)
Shut up.
I'm trying to bring Gay chrimble Queen down a peg.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:25, Reply)
wanna buy some pegs?

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:28, Reply)
What size?

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:30, Reply)
penis sized ... two or three inches

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:30, Reply)
Ok, I'll take two

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:26, Reply)
IF ANY CUNT TELLS ME ABOUT THEIR DREAMS IN A DREAM THEY BETTER WAKE UP AND APOLOGISE

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:22, Reply)
Sorry.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:26, Reply)
Accepted. How was my hair?

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:30, Reply)
You looked spectacular.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:40, Reply)

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:22, Reply)
Why are you vexed about the Sun's anti-Russell Brand campaign, Jay?
I can't say I've ever paid much attention to what the Sun does.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:33, Reply)
I find the No More Page 3 campaign a little vexing

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:36, Reply)

Page Fun Boy
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:39, Reply)
It isn't exactly the things they get up to, more the manner in which they achieve them.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:46, Reply)
Oh yeah?

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:40, Reply)
Yeah.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:45, Reply)
Well, good.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:45, Reply)
I like Russell, I think the guy is trying to do good.
The sun however, is a vile rag of a paper with the morals of an alley cat.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:49, Reply)
I am torn. I agree with your views on the Sun
however I think Russell Brand is a fucking prick.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:53, Reply)
Last night I had the strangest dream I'd ever dreamed before.
I dreamed the world had all agreed to put an end to war.

Which was nice.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:35, Reply)
I hardly ever remember my dreams.
Do you actually 'read' The Sun?

Christ.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:37, Reply)
One of the most important - if not the most important - papers in the country.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:39, Reply)
Elaborate

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:41, Reply)
Page three represents his only frequent exposure to breasts.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:42, Reply)
I like breasts.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:45, Reply)
It commands one of the biggest, if not the biggest readership in the country.
If you want to know what's going on, you pay attention to it. Whether or not you agree with it.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:45, Reply)
Bollocks.
Politicians pay attention to it.

No one else gives a fuck.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:53, Reply)
Not true, it tells legions of bricklayers and white van men what to think.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:55, Reply)
I got called a wanker because I was reading the I in a canteen in a factory.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:56, Reply)
That wasn't the reason why.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:58, Reply)
:(

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:59, Reply)
wanker

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:00, Reply)
:((((

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:02, Reply)
+ ching

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:07, Reply)
Save for their votes, it doesn't matter.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:59, Reply)
Opinion barometer, or some shit like that.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:00, Reply)
Except it wasn't really The Sun what won it
A good percentage of their readers are only interested in the sport pages, maybe a glance at the tits and a perfunctory skim through the rest.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:59, Reply)
With The Sun, there can be no more than a 'perfunctory skim'
They're hardly likely to have in-depth articles when the necessary reading age for comprehension is 8 or 9
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:09, Reply)
They do have clear and concise copy, it's true.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:12, Reply)
Even your trolling is aggravatingly hand-wringy.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:17, Reply)
surely trolling is supposed to be aggravating

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:24, Reply)
Who's trolling?

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:25, Reply)
It's a useful barometer of discourse of the zeitgeist.
Whether you like it or not.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:19, Reply)
I don't know if I like that.
The sun can be a pretty toxic news source.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:54, Reply)
The Sun spoon feeds knee jerk reactions to idiots in the UK

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:09, Reply)
well said Jay, well said

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:11, Reply)
It wouldn't sell if it didn't reflect what they're thinking, though.
Look at Liverpool.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:23, Reply)
yeah, they wont make that mistake again.
twitter is on brands side. I like Twitter
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:26, Reply)
On par with 'toilet'

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:41, Reply)
No.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:08, Reply)
I dreamed a dream and I thought it true
Concerning Franklin and his gallant crew
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:39, Reply)
I don't remember
I've been sent home and the cleaner is there so I don't want to go, it's weird when she's there.

Alt: Christmas lunch then Christmas party tomorrow night . However, the party is my boss' party. So I'll probably get sent home from that too.

Altalt: will pick up a £10salad and take that home I think

Altaltalt: the only good thing about the sun are the headlines. Sometimes.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:47, Reply)
Alt: you can't skive work and then go to the boss' party.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:51, Reply)
I'd consider that a win/win.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:52, Reply)
His parties rock

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:56, Reply)
spin the bottle AND fancy dress? no way!!

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:57, Reply)
Better than a pathetic middle aged old orgy, dude

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:02, Reply)
I've never been to a middle aged orgy.
The last time I had sex with more than one other person we were all in our twenties.

Sorry to ruin your sickbed frot fantasy.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:04, Reply)
That's right, you focus on the semantics and ignore the facts that you're so horrifically dull that people would fake group anal rape to get you to leave their house

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:10, Reply)
that wasn't an orgy
you really are incredibly vanilla and naïve, aren't you?
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:11, Reply)
poor meatsnake
/ac
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:13, Reply)
UP YOURS DELORS

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:55, Reply)
sent home? are you still at school? christ

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:56, Reply)
I fucking wish I could get sent home.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:57, Reply)
I might go home for a bit.
Like I'm a responsible adult or sutin.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:58, Reply)
Waggle your willy at the receptionist.
That should do the job.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:58, Reply)
No, I want to still get paid for my notice.
I just don't want to have to be here.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:59, Reply)
You can self certify sick for a week.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:01, Reply)
Plus she's probably already seen it

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:01, Reply)
No way, man
Though I did used to see a girl who was good friends with them, so I don't often go out drinking when reception are going to be there. Middle aged women are just *awful*.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:03, Reply)
+ ly sexy

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:10, Reply)
Cackling witches.
No sense of public propriety.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:16, Reply)
They have grabbed your bollocks when pissed havent they

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:19, Reply)
now we're getting SEXY

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:20, Reply)
Not far off.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:22, Reply)
they grabbed your bollocks while boxed on temazepam and ghb?

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:26, Reply)

jelly.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2427083
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:29, Reply)
Yes dear

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:03, Reply)
Shouldn't go to work when you're ill.
Are you so selfish that your boredom while unwell is more important than the profits of your company. By spreading your germs and possibly causing others to get ill, and therefore not complete as much work, directly effects the firm. You should be ashamed! ASHAMED!
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:59, Reply)
The solicitor cunt I work with gave everyone XMAS flu 2 years ago by coming into the office with the lurgy.
I still don't talk to the selfish bitch.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:00, Reply)
^diabetic flid blaming others for their immune system fliddiness

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:07, Reply)
Basically yes
I'd rather they all died than I had to spend another afternoon working in front of the tv.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:04, Reply)
Turn the TV off and sit somewhere else then.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:05, Reply)
Look I'm not interested in your logic
Besides the budgie needs the noise. He goes all sad and thin and quiet when it's silent in the flat, it's sad.

(Almost as sad as having a budgie)
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:06, Reply)
Radios are great for creating noise.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:12, Reply)
WOAH MIND BLOWN

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:29, Reply)
you dropped this: "you idiot"

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:06, Reply)
so don't work in front of the telly, you idiot

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:05, Reply)
Can't speak to the help eh?
It's like the 50's all over again
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:10, Reply)
She's sweet
Unfortunately she's also a really epically shit cleaner. Frog is always telling me to sack her, then she sends texts like now saying, "hurry up and get better, hope you like my work!"
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:11, Reply)
this insecurity is almost a mental illness ... get some help

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:13, Reply)
They're all shit, that's why they ended up as cleaners.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:13, Reply)
So you're letting a cleaner manipulate you in to paying for sub standard work.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:13, Reply)
can't you get that layabout to at least clean the flat when he gets back midafternoon?

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:15, Reply)
Why haven't you sacked her?
Do it after Christmas
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:17, Reply)
you're such a softie
she should hand her notice in a Christmas card
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:19, Reply)
well maybe first say that you aren't happy with her "work"

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:25, Reply)
Christmas comes but once a year
You never clean under the lid
I'm chucking you out on your rear
You lazy scrubber flid

Merry Christmas!
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:29, Reply)
It's not like a cleaner is going to have anything worth listening to, Jay.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:18, Reply)
what warrants a shit cleaner?
*insert gay pun here*
*and again here*
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:33, Reply)

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