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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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You're everyone's problem. That's because every time you go up in the air, you're unsafe. I don't like you because you're dangerous.
Alt: piss weasels or wee wee tapirs?

Altalt: spring onions or scallions
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:46, 149 replies, latest was 9 years ago)
gay film, gay swearing, gay

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:47, Reply)
Should be right up your street then

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:49, Reply)
Number 1 Gay Street

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:49, Reply)
I don't understand the question.
alt. Wee wee Tapirs
altalt. Goku Spring Onions/ Rapscallions
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:50, Reply)
That's right Jay...son, I am dangerous

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:51, Reply)
it's from that Tom Cruise film Cocktail

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:53, Reply)
I once cooked dinner for Tom Cruise

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:35, Reply)
Both are fine
But god help you if you try to sneak a leek in there.

The salad onions in Spain freaked me out the first time I saw them, proper massive bulbs on those leafy green bastards.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:53, Reply)
*adds row 1675 to list of things swipe won't eat*

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:54, Reply)
poor leeksnake

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:54, Reply)
With his massive bulb and leafy green pubes

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:56, Reply)
now we're getting SEXY

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:57, Reply)
I heard he was created when Alan titchmarsh bummed a radioactive brassica

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:58, Reply)
I don't mind leeks in things at all
But a pile of pure leeks is just wrong
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:55, Reply)
Leeks steamed with butter are great

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:57, Reply)
most things are great if you cook them with enough butter
pickled/soused leeks are pretty ace too
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 12:59, Reply)
I don't like their long tentacley unravelly bits
They need to be confined in a pasta sauce or a tart or something safe
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:00, Reply)
srs ... you can get treatment for food phobias and eating disorders on the NHS now
you won't even have to spend any of daddy's holiday money
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:03, Reply)
Yes dear

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:08, Reply)
According to myrapname.com
my rap name is "Def A Fatal Block".
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:00, Reply)
MC Eggnogg SnowQueen

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:02, Reply)
Lucid BD Ritz a.k.a. Hoody Doom

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:03, Reply)
apparently I'm Ice Cube

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:04, Reply)
Big Daddy Bumbag

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:04, Reply)
it's where I carry my massive clocks

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:06, Reply)
"Uncle Henry with the whiskey breath"
Oh sorry, I went to myrapename.com
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:09, Reply)
Mr jammy T aka free style love

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:35, Reply)
Good afternoon, friends.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:10, Reply)
Yey dozer is here!!!!!

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:12, Reply)
hi mate!!!!
Just doing a bit of personal tax planning, need some tips???
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:14, Reply)
Do I ever!

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:15, Reply)
I need full details of your gross salary, gross pension contributions and any non-ISA investments!
And don't forget, cash ISAs are only suitable for emergency funds, a properly diversified stocks and shares ISA is the most appropriate way to get inflation beating returns in a tax efficient environment, at your income level anyway!
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:19, Reply)
And what is my income level do you suppose?

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:21, Reply)
you receive child benefit, so less than 60K gross.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:22, Reply)
Been at the spreadsheet again?

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:26, Reply)
no m8, I have a functioning memory innit

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:31, Reply)
fewer

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:26, Reply)
Well wages in the Midlands do tend to be lower
dont beat yourself up about it
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:31, Reply)
Can't you receive it even if you earn more than that, but the effect is to pay tax on it that effectively cancels it out?
Or do you not get it at all?
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:36, Reply)
ixnae with the the benefit nae.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:37, Reply)
you pay it back as a tax charge.
By 60k net relevant earnings it's a 100% charge.

There are ways around it though.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:39, Reply)
It's just I had so done on the other side who reckoned In his pleadings that he earned £75,000 a month
And also £80 child benefit...
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:44, Reply)
Well I keep all my money offshore in the BVI
in order to avoid tax, and I am just about to do a new contract for 10k per week and all the hookers I can kill. Can I still claim child benefit?
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:55, Reply)
What about opening a tracker against something like the ftse 100 and shoving a couple of hundred quid at it every month?

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:47, Reply)
one fund?
Are you sure?
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 14:10, Reply)
^ Not an accountant

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:17, Reply)
accountants don't do financial advice
They do accountancy.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:21, Reply)

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(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:14, Reply)
hi babygirl!!!

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:16, Reply)
you're alright you are

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:17, Reply)
A right what?

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:19, Reply)
poo tiger

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:22, Reply)
Swearing + animal is always funny.
Fart bunny.

Poo tiger.

Diarrhea spaniel.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:17, Reply)
Cunt Eric Burdon
Not seeing it m8
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:19, Reply)
Your swearing is cunting shit, you horsefucking tossbag

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:20, Reply)
That's because swearing + animal is absolutely rubbish.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:52, Reply)
I go away for an hour and look what happens!
Hang your heads in shame
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:49, Reply)
Hey there is tax chat up there ^ so its not all bad............... oh

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 13:58, Reply)
You're the fucking problem.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 14:10, Reply)
fucking shitcunts.
coming on here.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 14:11, Reply)
Can I go home yet?

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 14:30, Reply)
Hey Goose you big stud!
Alt dunno what that means
Altalt Neither

Is it home time yet?
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 14:11, Reply)
I thought you worked from home in your line of business.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 14:12, Reply)
Driving trucks? Behave yourself

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 14:12, Reply)
I knew you spent a lot of time with truckdrivers.

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 14:13, Reply)
I feel you're implying something here that I'm far too sweet and innocent to understand

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 14:20, Reply)
correct

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 14:20, Reply)
Two of your snot-nose jockeys did a fly-by on my tower at over 400 KNOTS!
I want somebody's butt, I want it now, I've HAD IT!
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 14:14, Reply)
DAMN! That's TWICE! I WANT SOME BUTTS!

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 14:14, Reply)
Fuck off, Kazansky.
With your homo-erotic ways.
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 14:16, Reply)
Is this still limping along, like a one legged dog?
Pull its neck and put it out if its misery
(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 14:57, Reply)
A one legged dog would surely drag rather than limp?

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 15:03, Reply)
YOU BEAST!

(, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 15:07, Reply)

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