Seeing as I am to be here first,
Let me open my doors and invite you all in.


( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Jan 2015, 7:38, 93 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

*treads something unpleasant into your shagpile*

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 7:52, Reply)

no worries, everyone makes mistakes, I'll just have the carpet gnomes clean it while singing their merry song.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:15, Reply)

those charming little rascals!

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:36, Reply)

hi mate, how's it going?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 7:53, Reply)

Dozy.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:15, Reply)

hi piggo, hi the internet, what a gr8 day to be alive

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 7:54, Reply)

hi paul, how's the biscuit trade?
😃😃
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 7:58, Reply)

lol, like other people say, lol

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 7:59, Reply)

there's no place on this thread for that sort of negativity

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:01, Reply)

correct dozy d, this is a fluffeh kittens nommy biscuit thread.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:16, Reply)

slow, bit worried i might not meet this months target, plus i have a KPI review at the end of the month because of that unfortunate rich tea incident

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:03, Reply)

Nice.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:04, Reply)

no, rich tea

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:05, Reply)

😵
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:07, Reply)

I hope you achieve a click through above industry average

( $$ ✅, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:47, Reply)

Already managed that mate, and with an open rate 6.8% over industry average it is smooth sailing from here. Thanks for your support.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:56, Reply)

I doff my cap to you, handsome meatsnake and bid you a good day!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:13, Reply)

TAKE A DEEP BREATH...
Remember.....

It's just a bad day.....

NOT A BAD LIFE!!!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:18, Reply)

I cried just reading that. thank you.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:24, Reply)

KNOCK KNOCK

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:25, Reply)

WHO'S THERE?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:27, Reply)

It's me, your friend meatsnake

And I'm always here.....


For you xx

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:28, Reply)

xxxxoxoxoxo

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:30, Reply)

Seriously? Right here? Where I can read it!
We are soooooo over!
( Peej, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:38, Reply)

gayer than your gay dogs gaying on each other and watching
but morning
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 7:59, Reply)

how's London today?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:12, Reply)

Full of tramps and smelly

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:13, Reply)

just like your wonderful mother.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:13, Reply)

Nah thats full of worms
but agree on the smelly bit
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:18, Reply)

Alright CQ, how's the world of steampunk?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:32, Reply)

I have new goggles with cogs on

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:38, Reply)

Well, I declare.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:49, Reply)

going hip hipstery prick on the stairs

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:01, Reply)

It's a click from me

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:16, Reply)

Yay, the tits are back in everyones favourite newspaper!

( Peej, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:37, Reply)

r u srs?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:38, Reply)

lol rupert trol u
twitter.com/TheSunNewspaper/status/558162156454445056
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 10:11, Reply)

I'm up for a sexual encounter with somebody hopefully of the opposite sex but i'm not fussy *glomps*

(Mr Udagawa, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 8:39, Reply)

can we have a proper thread now please

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:00, Reply)

mcbeef is being very lax this morning

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:01, Reply)

No, but i expect someone will do a lolwaki 'morning' or 'alright' one, they're always well received.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:02, Reply)

oh I do love those

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:06, Reply)

Gay

( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:15, Reply)

youn are

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:19, Reply)

Just the one time

( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:20, Reply)

Good morning fair Windulous Piggington III
I slept in and then showered before "pissing about on the internet with a cup of tea" instead of after. This novel approach allowed me to catch a slightly earlier tube and not have to deal with disapproving looks as I amble in around 20 past. Go me!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:19, Reply)

lies
you work in IT. we all know you never shower.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:27, Reply)

I am pink and scrubbed and daubed with masculine scents

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:35, Reply)

shut up dozer

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:49, Reply)

Verily I bid thee all a splendiferous day!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:22, Reply)

Alright stunned you big stud, how's it hanging?

( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:24, Reply)

Languidly but comfortable thanks very much for asking.
What shenanigans are going down in Shenanigans Town today?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:28, Reply)

I'm bored, I could do with a Ferris Bueller type day off

( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:32, Reply)

If I had a Ferrari I'd lend it to you.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:34, Reply)

Morning all
Calf 2 is "ill" this morning. i.e. he's not
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:32, Reply)

Did you make him go to school?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:35, Reply)

Nope, I'm sat at home with him
He's going at lunchtime though as there's fuck all wrong with him
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:38, Reply)

Get him in for morning break then.
Lazy little scrote.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:48, Reply)

I just heard someone with a 'Dancing in the moonlight' Toploader ringtone and it's ruined my day.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:44, Reply)

I never change from the default ringtone because I don't care and I'm lazy
unfortunately some guy in the office feels the same and we have to same shit phone.
( Peej, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:55, Reply)

Mine is "Sweet Child o Mine".
it's well wacky.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:56, Reply)

i just leave mine on silent most of the time

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:58, Reply)

Simon & Garfunkels blah blah hahaha yeah

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 10:01, Reply)

Me too, but I forget and think his phone is mine
It's the film thats getting a great reception! Rob Schneider's in The Ringtone!
( Peej, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 10:04, Reply)

ryan gosling y/n

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:51, Reply)

y - only if he gave me constant reassurance through out

( $$ ✅, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:56, Reply)

Naga Munchetty y/n

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:52, Reply)

Y

( Peej, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:53, Reply)

She can play jazz trumpet.
I BET SHE FUCKING CAN!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:55, Reply)

Its not that I fancy her particularly
You can just tell shes pure filth.
( Peej, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:56, Reply)

Carol Kirkwood is pure filth.
In an E Cup.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:57, Reply)

She can take me all around Englind Irelind and Scotlind I can tell you
and sometimes The Midlinds!
( Peej, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 10:01, Reply)

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 10:01, Reply)

Show me the glen where the puppies run free!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 10:03, Reply)

n

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:53, Reply)

c

( Peej, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:54, Reply)

a

( Peej, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:54, Reply)

I think that's the chef special appetiser at Bhangla Lounge Indian Restaurant, Hall Green

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 10:01, Reply)

I like that her married name is Naga Haggah

( Peej, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 10:01, Reply)

Bit racist, m8.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 10:02, Reply)