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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Good afternoon.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:04, 147 replies, latest was 9 years ago)
Alright

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:06, Reply)
Here, have this roasted pea!!
I was doing a shit, lets call it John, for that was his name, post funny face
memes, repetition, etc

Length? A few words on a screen

tl;dr fuck off

Cheers.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:08, Reply)
I like this!

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:25, Reply)
cheers

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:30, Reply)
Cheers

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:26, Reply)
cheers

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:30, Reply)
bindun

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:26, Reply)
stay about from my bindun hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:30, Reply)
What's with all the deloltion in my thread?
I'm assuming it was you.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:49, Reply)
It's bloody slow on here today.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:17, Reply)
Good Evening.
I hope this finds you all well.
Hope you had a wonderful weeekend.

I did my second run and knocked a minute off my time.
I also went to see "It Follows" at the cinema which was proper old skool horror and well creepy.

Thank you.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:22, Reply)
Yes.
Yes, it is.

I'm now into a second lot of antibiotis, which seem to be getting to grips with the illness that's had hold on me since November. It's like I've forgotten what it feels like to wake up and feel like a normal human.


Well, as normal as I can get, anyway...

How are you all?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:24, Reply)
We're all dying of antibiotic resistant bacteria because SOME PEOPLE over use them.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:34, Reply)
That's why the first lot didn't work.
Doctors hand them out like sweeties, so whatever bug I've picked up is just laughing in the face of their puny efforts.

These new ones are the daddy, though.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:41, Reply)
They don't so much anymore, the real problem is vets.
They shouldn't give you antibiotics for anything short of a 2 week infection now, although some doctors still do for an easy life.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:47, Reply)
Good afternoon, Dozer.
It's nearly the end of Monday - how lovely.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:26, Reply)
Monday's barely started, you fucking nobber

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:28, Reply)
i dunno, by my perception of time it's over halfway through now

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:29, Reply)
so much to do pal, I have a very important job with a significant impact on my employer's 'bottom line'
Cheers.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:31, Reply)
queer

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:31, Reply)
legless

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:32, Reply)
Queers.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:32, Reply)
beers

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:33, Reply)
you'd love to have a significant impact on your employer's bottom

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:32, Reply)
jeers

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:32, Reply)
What part of 12:28 do you have trouble understanding, you silly sausage?

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:35, Reply)
women
Am I rite? Hahaha!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:38, Reply)
Hahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:52, Reply)
hahaha!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:55, Reply)
it's not afternoon until I've had lunch
you presumptuous prick
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:31, Reply)
wanker

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:31, Reply)
It's afternoon post meridiem
What did they teach you at that polytechnic?
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:33, Reply)
clearly that the earth stops revolving until he has shovelled lunch into his whiskery gob

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:36, Reply)
I like the fact that if the earth did stop
we'd all go flying off.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:42, Reply)
just my luck i'd end up somewhere shit
like pluto.

(no uranus jokes)
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:50, Reply)
That would depend on how quickly the earth stopped
If it was gradual we wouldn't really notice it apart from the weather getting more fucked. The mass of the earth would still create gravity. Also the rotational speed is something like 1600 kmph while the escape velocity is around 40,000 kmph so we wouldn't fly off you might get dragged along though...


TLDR
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:35, Reply)
Oh and of course you would end up with half the planet in perpetual darkness

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:36, Reply)
might wander over to tv sleb chef gino d'acampo and get some pasta with fiery chilli sauce in a minute
what's everyone else having?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:31, Reply)
fuck all

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:32, Reply)
^this

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:41, Reply)
Strawberries, yoghurt and cherry flapjack, vine ripened tomato and lentil soup over the course of the day.
where the fuck else do tomatoes ripen?
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:37, Reply)
is that the tesco finest one with spinach?
i love a bit of that with cheese melted into it
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:37, Reply)
ALDI innit

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:45, Reply)
Pretty much the same thing.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:49, Reply)
i like making my own soup, got my eye on a creamy garlic mushroom recipe i saw
but you always end up with far too much of it.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:49, Reply)
Freeze it.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:50, Reply)
i would
but the freezer is full of bottles of vodka. and it takes so long to defrost and wah wah wah.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:51, Reply)
And peas.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:51, Reply)
fucking peas

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:52, Reply)
And ting?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:54, Reply)
Take it out the night before. Put in bag. Go to work.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:53, Reply)
Michael Jackson's final hit.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:52, Reply)
or this one, look
allrecipes.com/recipe/mushroom-and-gorgonzola-soup/

NOM
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:52, Reply)
tomatoes continue to ripen once picked

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:39, Reply)
Most fruit does, surely?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:42, Reply)
Jaysumz is pretty ripe

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:43, Reply)
terrible homophobia

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:45, Reply)
yes, probably, but that wasn't the point jaysums was asking about.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:45, Reply)
Just like every other fruit, in fact.
Old GJ up there seems to think that an entirely automatic sugars conversion in a living organism is going to stop because Tesco sliced off its umbilical a little bit higher up.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:44, Reply)
old GJ ws trying to make a lighthearted anecdote, but you lot are all pricks
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:46, Reply)
i conducted a search and that phrase doesn't appear, that wasn't an /ac you fucking liar.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:47, Reply)
I dunno what ac means tbh lol wtf

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:07, Reply)
Alternating current

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:12, Reply)

It can change depending on the poster and the post.

/Accepts cock
/Aids carrier
/Anal capaciousness
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:03, Reply)
^ THIS ^
just cob some tomatoes at them, old buddy old pal
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:48, Reply)
Take them out of the tin first though, yeah?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:49, Reply)
So they continue to ripen.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:50, Reply)
Burger, with blue cheese and bacon, chips and slaw. Proper chips, not the shitty 'fries' nonsense.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:50, Reply)
interesting
see, i think there is a place in life both for really good proper chips AND really good french fries.

and that place may, from time to time, be in a nice pot in front of me, slathered in salt and vinegar.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:51, Reply)
Fries are just served because of time innit. We do them, but I wouldn't eat them.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:56, Reply)
yeah it's not like anywhere would serve both and offer a choice or anything mental like that

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:58, Reply)
who offers customers a choice these days?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:00, Reply)
Boxtrolls.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:01, Reply)
i can't remember the last time i had a choice, all the decent eateries just pump slurry via a funnel directly down your throat as you file in and out on a conveyor belt, paying via contactless cards in under 45 seconds

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:05, Reply)
I find I like it when as a consumer I don't have to make choices, as it's clear I have no idea what I like.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:08, Reply)
it's good that they have done away with waiting staff too so everything is ordered via an app, when i say ordered, i mean you just punch in how many doses of nutrient gel you require administering along with your paypal details

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:10, Reply)
Oi, I arksed you a question up there
5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2473160
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:11, Reply)
because there's a new thread silly, i can't leave all my replies there can i, or i wouldn't be allowed to post here

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:12, Reply)
Sorry, I haven't familiarised myself with the latest posting rules in the updated Eff Ay Cue section

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:14, Reply)
also i was bored

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:16, Reply)
We don't do contactless cards, although you can choose your burger topping.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:10, Reply)
why not, i thought speed was key?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:11, Reply)
They aren't that much quicker tbh, not as much as the difference between fries and properly cooked chips.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:14, Reply)
it's nice that you take such pride in the food you serve

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:16, Reply)
also, your crappy pub food clearly isn't anywhere near decent, the menu and associated pictures look rubbish

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:15, Reply)
What's his vegetarian option?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:15, Reply)
bring your own meal, you can use the outdoor camping fax stove

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:16, Reply)
The vegi lasagne is the most popular one.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:21, Reply)
Homemade or a crappy microwave meal that you've transferred into an earthenware dish and added grated cheese on top?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:25, Reply)
Homemade.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:27, Reply)
I'm glad you've checked the website xx

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:21, Reply)
i'm sure your website really makes the place shine out like the beacon of monotony and depression you make your 'boozer' sound like on here
if i was going to pretend to have taken over a pub on the internet to try and impress people i'd put a bit more effort into my bullshit rather than paint a picture of a failing business and quite a mundane existence for myself
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:26, Reply)
I heard hartley hare designed the kitchen in his made up pub

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:27, Reply)
i think he just helped, like he has helped lots of other people on here where homebase couldn't

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:28, Reply)
Do you think Harters' new job is as one of those old retired fellas who offer DIY advice in B&Q?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:45, Reply)
I see him more as a sales representative with a skoda octavia driving round all day with a crappy leather folder and a catalogue of screws and fixings desperately trying to hit targets so he can buy a matching suit to replace the one he's too fat for

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:57, Reply)
That's what he wants you to believe, I suspect his life is a lot less glamorous
Also, nice trips.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:05, Reply)
Funny how all the worlds most successful people post on the offtopix forum

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:12, Reply)
Apology accepted.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:17, Reply)
You're welcome. No offence.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:18, Reply)
Tell you what, Rory's skiing trip to Val Thorens is lasting quite long, I hope he hasn't had another stroke

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:19, Reply)
I hope he's just busy holidaying and winning at life and not back in the rehabilitation centre.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:19, Reply)
Hold on, the other one......

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:27, Reply)
val thoracic aneurysm

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:41, Reply)
I'm with you on that; they both have their place.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:15, Reply)
How much weight have you put on since stopping being a fake doctor
and becoming a fake publican
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:41, Reply)
One milano salami, german salami, gouda and salad roll.
One milano salami, brunswick ham, gouda and salad roll.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:52, Reply)
So, a pair of ham and cheese salad rolls?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:54, Reply)
yes, fun sponge.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:55, Reply)
I'm sure the rolls are artisan though.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 12:58, Reply)
Sainers shite I am afraid.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:01, Reply)
STOP! IN THE NAME OF LOVE! BEFORE YOU BREAK MY HEART!

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:00, Reply)
I'll have to get back to you, I'm thinking it over

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:02, Reply)
You had supreme of chicken for lunch?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:05, Reply)
Or a potato diana rosti.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:07, Reply)
STOP ! right now ,thank you very much. I need someone with a human touch.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:16, Reply)
I bought that single.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:28, Reply)
NO U NEVA!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 13:29, Reply)
It's "alright" as I believe the kids are saying these days

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:17, Reply)
Nobody knows it When I was down I was your clown Nobody knows it Right from the start I gave you my heart I gave you my heart So don't go breaking my heart I won't go breaking your heart Don't go breaking my heart

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:24, Reply)
I couldn't if I tried.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:26, Reply)
it's a lovely spring day
who wants to climb trees and play cowboys and indians?
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:28, Reply)
Make it Arthur Scargill and the miners vs Police and you've got a deal.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:30, Reply)
Two Four Six Eight! Orgreave won't capitulate!

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:40, Reply)
I've just had lunch
I'm going to need some looser trousers to climb a tree.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:44, Reply)
i threw my arancini balls away
too full. what a waste :(
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:48, Reply)
There are starving children in Africa you know

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 14:49, Reply)
i'm not sure rice fried in cheese and breadcrumbs would really help their nutrition, tbh

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 15:01, Reply)
Why not?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 15:10, Reply)
well, not compared to porridge or chicken or fish
fried white rice and cheese is not really going to do anyone any good.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 15:19, Reply)
or spunk

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 15:21, Reply)
What about compared with starving?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 15:27, Reply)
i really don't think a tiny little arancini ball is going to stop anyone from starving

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 15:28, Reply)
and yet it was too big for you
it's almost like you have an eating disorder
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 15:31, Reply)
yes
after a box of penne pasta and a complimentary slice of pizza, funnily enough, i couldn't also manage the arancini balls.

if i had been able to, THAT would have been an eating disorder.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 15:33, Reply)

arancini kegel
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 15:08, Reply)
Kurgen more like.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 15:10, Reply)
Terrible bullying of sportscrow

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 15:10, Reply)
Good afternoon

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 15:11, Reply)
Hey Music Lover!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 15:20, Reply)

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