pw3ned.
As a follow up to this, I've decided that I needed to answer a nagging question: have I been driving the little bastards far enough away?

According to one website I found, they should be transported at least five miles away to be sure they don't come back, preferably on the other side of a highway or a river. I've been driving them about two miles to the golf course and letting them out there. But how do I know if they return? One squirrel looks like another, after all.

Were I a wildlife expert I would anesthetize them, tag them and then release them. Sadly, I'm just an out of work engineer with too much time and not enough resources. How do I tag a squirrel?

Simple- the same way chavs tag bridges.

If I see a squirrel with its arse spray painted a nice cheery blue, I'll know that I need to drop the little fuckers off on the other side of Rte. 288.

More updates as events warrant.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 3 Aug 2009, 15:07, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Stop being a fanny
and shoot the fuckers.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 15:13, Reply)

I would
but I live in the suburbs, and discharging a firearm when the houses are about fifty feet apart is not advisable.

Besides, this is more fun as I get to taunt the little shits and tell them "Welcome to Botany Bay" as I open the cage.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 3 Aug 2009, 15:15, Reply)

I know you live in the US
but this is perfect for what you need.

www.bbguns.co.uk/831_1_2884435.html
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 15:25, Reply)

I have a crossbow and bad aim.
Relocating them elsewhere is a better answer for now.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 3 Aug 2009, 16:11, Reply)

Two this morning.
The trap has been reset.

If I see any blue-arsed squirrels in the next week or so I'll have my answer.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 3 Aug 2009, 16:04, Reply)

Sack + Bricks + Pond
You do the math.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 16:08, Reply)

That may be next
if I can't get rid of them this way. But for now, at least it's keeping me amused.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 3 Aug 2009, 16:10, Reply)

In some parts of the UK
councils will pay you for killing them.

However on your side of the pond I would kill it and eat it.

I'm not joking either, they eat berries and nuts which makes the meat taste lovely.
( Peej, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 16:13, Reply)

Yup.
My boss, who hunts, is bringing in squirrel stew for lunch today *noms*
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 18:05, Reply)

Never had it
but I too hear good things about it.

Worse comes to worse I'll maybe use this approach: www.break.com/usercontent/2007/3/Squirrel-Catapult-260348.html

EDIT: Here's a better one in that it shows what happened to the squirrel: video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1884313070232512020

They're tough little buggers.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 3 Aug 2009, 18:21, Reply)