When I was 18 I used to live at my dad's pub, and I spent quite a bit of time behind the bar...
There were loads of people of all ages and varying states of sobriety, all dispensing "wisdom" to me, as you can imagine.

One guy though sticks in my mind. We called him Archie, because his last name was Archer. He was a stockbroker but had taken early retirement after a stress-induced heart attack. He used to come in most days and get steaming drunk, then go home - but unlike a lot of the other punters, he was a lovely bloke, and was always polite and funny.

After a while his doctor told him to give up the booze, so he continued coming in every day but stopped drinking.

Anyway, amongst his pearls of wisdom (my favourite of which wasn't actually advice - "fuck me, there are some ugly birds walking round with prams. Who's getting them pregnant?!") two things stuck in my mind.

The first was "When you get married, make sure you marry a girl with small hands". He wouldn't tell me why and it was ages before I figured it out.

The second was written in a birthday card he gave me one year...

"Remember, be nice to people and treat them well, but above all think dirty thoughts, enjoy yourself, and run around all over the place having lots of fun"

That sounds like a good plan for life!

RIP Archie, I'll have a beer for you!


/genuine apology for length
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 24 Jun 2008, 9:35, 3 replies)

birds and prams
made me lolz
( olivier8 (euroloon), Tue 24 Jun 2008, 12:57, closed)

A *genuine* apology for length?

You shouldn't. It only looks bigger because of the small hands on it.

Sounds like he was a funny guy :D.
(Lythium deals in lead, my friend., Tue 24 Jun 2008, 13:32, closed)

Yay
I love that philosophy for life! And it's true, why do ugly girls always end up pregnant? How is ugliness an evolutionary advantage?!

*clicks*
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Tue 24 Jun 2008, 14:00, closed)