Maths
At school I liked maths. It was the 80's, Buckaroo. It wasn't violently frowned upon to actually enjoy some learning. Apparently these days, with the kids an all, if you are caught listening, or reading or partaking in education of any form, you are murdered to death by hard kids from the rough estate. I digress...

I liked algebra in the first few years, and I was good at it.

My little brother was three years behind me and as academically gifted as a small beetroot. I was enlisted to help him out. Eventually, and to the suprise of everyone, he reached his GCSE exams.

During our years of tutorials, my brother and I had long conspired to spend almost no time studying, and dicked around in his room on anything but schoolwork. As a result, he was none the wiser, and I got play with his games. His GCSE maths loomed like a haunting metaphor. We didnt care, I'd got my GCSE's and was crusin' to leicester poly in the autumn, and he had'nt had to do any actual studying. However, something told me that we probably should figure out some shortcuts to getting Bro through some of these exams.

Algebra might as well have been Serbo Croat to my little brother, it was futile to even attempt to explain why maths seemed to use a lot of numbers. "letters are for that other subject arent they BigCoke? You know, the one with books? England studies whatdoyamacallit?"

So I told him the secret of Algebra. The secret formula you dont get to hear about until after you've left school. He was sworn to secrecy on his mothers eyes.

I told him this. a = 1. b = 2. c = 3 .... y = 25. z = 26.

Whenever one of the letters appeared in a question, simply swap them for the numbers and then just add, subtract, multiply whatever. I even showed him what the symbols meant on the calculator.

Result? Zero GCSE's and he is still a skint labourer 20 years later and I run a nice computer business that doesnt involve much rain and snow.

Backfired? Hell yes. He has had a life with a succession of beautiful women and blowjobs, whereas sometimes I can't get it up and have to improvise with pre-warmed dildo's.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 12:37, 2 replies)

shurely
loomed like a haunting simile, no?
(pounana Slept well, and dreamed of large women, on, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 12:26, closed)

Ah!
But how do you warm the dildos?

(Got you there!)
(rampants, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 15:13, closed)