Teaching put down
I used to be a teacher at secondary school. I don't claim to be a great wit or anything, but I did have a couple of flashes of inspiration. Here is one of them:

10C was a low ability (but nice enough) maths class. It was valentines day, last lesson and they were goofing around, telling valentines rhymes. At first they were amusing, ("Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm amazing and you're OK too") but as they began to turn a bit smutty ("Your knickers are blue, your knickers are brown, but when I'm with you your knickers are down") I really had no choice but to nip it in the bud. So I told Karl and Martin (not real names as I honestly can't remember them) to stop. They went quiet for a bit but soon continued. So, turning from the blackboard (yes, thats how long ago it was) I looked at the pair of them and said (pointing) "Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're in detention, and so are you!"
Quite proud of that one, I was.
(SquidFish, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 17:01, 14 replies)

I'm not
sure I'd be so keen on the order of events there.

Blue knickers, fine.

Then they go brown? I'd probably prefer she kept them UP. And kept well away from me.

Actually, I suspect even talking about this means I join the B3ta nonce club.
(username failed moderation, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 17:05, closed)

... and then you bummed them both ... right?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 17:12, closed)

RIGHT??!?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 12:42, closed)

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Grab your coat
I've got a knife.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 17:19, closed)

my mate told me a similar one
Roses are red
violets are blue
i've got a knife
get in the van

i feel it rolls off the tongue a bit easier (imo)
(OTT, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 17:30, closed)

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Unimaginatative verse
Boring conclusion.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 18:09, closed)

no offence intended
But clearly taken

roses are red
vagabond is too
Cos he gets all flustered
at the internets

yay! Imaginative verse!
(OTT, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:07, closed)

Roses are Red.
Violets are Blue.
I can't write Poems so...
Nice tits.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 18:30, closed)

Roses are red,
I sniffed them once.
I read your story,
Then called you a nonce.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 18:46, closed)

Roses are red
And so's morning glory
Brown knickers, you said?
Seems a rather blue story.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:05, closed)

Roses are red, or blue, or white, or yellow, or orange, or black, or purple, or one lf many other colours now available.

(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:18, closed)

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I have Alzheimer's.
Cheese on toast.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 9:50, closed)

Roses are red
Violets are silly
Grease up those flaps
'Cos here comes my willy
(ThatNiceMan thought he was being funny, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 9:56, closed)

Roses are shit
So are Quality Street
I bet you wear Lynx Africa
You cheap Burton-suited cunt.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 12:43, closed)