Naming cola after children (not vice versa)
Coca Cola is quite expensive, maybe this is justified, but if that's justified then going to Aldis and getting the cheap stuff can be justified too. Particularly if you've got young children, with young children's teeth, as young children tend to have.

So, to save a few quid whilst saving your kids teeth whilst still allowing them this treat, find a decent tasting sugar free variety (one that you yourself can stomach/enjoy, and mixes well enough with rum or vodka or whatever your poison is), and rename it...

If your kid is called Danny, then make sure you end up with Danny asking for "Danny Cola"... "Mum, I want some Danny Cola, can I have some Danny Cola please"... sure, they'll still pine for the good stuff, but they'll accept the trade off for their name being included, and feeling like they own it.

Savings?
6 * cans of "Danny Cola" in Aldi = £1
6 * cans of Coca Cola (anywhere) = £1.99 or something???
A kid that doesnt get so much sugar (i'm sure there are other chemicals of course)
A kid that enjoys asking for their own Cola, by name their name, and feels good about it.

And for the kicker, you know you're kids going to find themselves embarrassed in later years (when they his 7 maybe, or maybe a slip of the tongue in their 30s?) asking for "Danny Cola" in front of friends etc....
(Universon, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 17:20, 4 replies)

what the fuck are you even on about?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 23:26, closed)

That's possibly the most tragic thing I've ever read on here. Moreso because it's the sort of thing my mum would have done as well.
(tomegranate, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 0:08, closed)

When they are older
they will never forgive you.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 0:13, closed)

Jared Christmas does a good sketch about fucking with his childs head so they look stupid when they get older
He says he wants to teach his daughter to pronounce guacamole as "gooa-caa-mol-lay"
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 6:01, closed)