afternoon dilbaro

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 13:55, Reply)

Paul Mario DEAD

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 13:56, Reply)

Dyin’ Maiden

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 13:58, Reply)

Bring your ex-lead singer to the slaughter

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 13:58, Reply)

Iron Maiden are fucking shit anyway

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 13:59, Reply)

I'm starting to see why people say all those things about you.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:01, Reply)

Correct.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:04, Reply)

69 dude!!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:00, Reply)

Sylvia Forever Young

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:01, Reply)

Mamma miaaaaaaaa! He's a-dead

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:03, Reply)

'Mamma mia' means 'mum I'm here' in Geordie.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:05, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8454178
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:16, Reply)

Paul Mario Away

( $$ ✅, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:23, Reply)

Sylvia NOT YOUNG ANY MORE

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:01, Reply)

I prefer my one

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:01, Reply)

You would say that

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:05, Reply)

Bollocks

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:06, Reply)

m o r n i n g

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 6:52, Reply)

y o

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 7:11, Reply)

mr bricks

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 7:23, Reply)

oh I like that

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 7:45, Reply)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 7:22, Reply)

smegggg

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 7:23, Reply)

Happy birthday Justin Lee Collins!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 7:34, Reply)

Surely it's about time for Channel 4 to commission Bring Back... Justin Lee Collins.
Dunno who they'd get to host it though, if he did it it'd be a bit meta.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 8:29, Reply)

'Bring back domestic violence and coercive control'

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 8:39, Reply)

good toimes

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 9:52, Reply)

Lee Hurst
we've not seen him in ages and he seems to have turned into a bitter social media racist now so it'd be great to have him back too.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 9:28, Reply)

What's his b3ta username?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 9:56, Reply)

Huw Edwards

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:08, Reply)

Tony 'butterknife' Hayers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:14, Reply)

all of them

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:45, Reply)

pasanonic

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:38, Reply)

-rac +fantas

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 11:07, Reply)

It was a simpler time, when someone could just say they were a millionaire and everyone believed them.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 11:15, Reply)

only if they had a picture of themselves on a yacht

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 11:44, Reply)

Wait a minute, I've got one of those!
Feel my wads.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 11:58, Reply)

He genuinely did post a screenshot of his ignore list on /board, he also got goaded by gronkpan into saying he would get a flight to Australia to beat him up

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 14:22, Reply)

Yeah, or post anecdotes about having sex with their underage cousins and everyone would call them a paedo.
Nowadays they have to provide their sentencing documents or prove their name is on the sex offenders register / Epstein flight logs or nobody believes them.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 13:26, Reply)

Russell Brand
They're both long-haired twattish sex pests.
( .Yeti., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:32, Reply)

Turtle power!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 11:09, Reply)

^ My turtley wurtle +

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 13:41, Reply)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 8:04, Reply)

smash

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:30, Reply)

morning

(Chocco The Real Spanishfy, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 8:27, Reply)

Shit off.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jul 2025, 8:40, Reply)

fly

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:30, Reply)

alright

(Chocco The Real Spanishfy, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 11:39, Reply)

Good morning

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 8:37, Reply)

The goodest

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:31, Reply)

Good/bad/indifferent* morning to you.
*delete as appropriate
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 8:42, Reply)

meh,ning

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:31, Reply)

That there tsunami looks a bit scary

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 9:30, Reply)

Don't look at it then.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:04, Reply)

*waves*

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:31, Reply)

h u l l o

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 9:35, Reply)

q’’’’’uee’’f

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 10:32, Reply)

h i

( $$ ✅, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 11:38, Reply)

afternoon

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 13:43, Reply)

l a t e a g a i n

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 11:44, Reply)

morning

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 13:43, Reply)

[YOU MUST VERIFY YOUR AGE AND IDENTITY TO VIEW THIS POST]
█████ ██ ██████ ███ ██ █ █████ ████ ████
███████ ██ ████ ██ █ ███ ████ ███████

██ ███ ████ ███████ ██ ████ ███
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 22:52, Reply)

This went well.

( mongychops, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 1:50, Reply)

/chat preview
Update coming soon.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 9:13, Reply)

I'm using orbot
so I can read it fine
(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 5:57, Reply)

sorry I don't speak ongo bongo

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 11:45, Reply)

klaxon time

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 12:01, Reply)

I SAID SORRY OK

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 30 Jul 2025, 12:22, Reply)

goodnight

( MiseryCunt, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 22:22, Reply)

Are you intending to go to bed, then have a shower, and then go to bed again?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 29 Jul 2025, 22:37, Reply)

not sure i've got the energy

( MiseryCunt, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 23:51, Reply)

yes
Bedways is bestways now
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 22:38, Reply)

agree

( MiseryCunt, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 23:51, Reply)

Pushing that prick down the board

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 14:55, Reply)

James sub-Prime

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:08, Reply)

It's pricks all the way down.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:09, Reply)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣿⣷⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣧⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⢀⣴⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⢿⣷⣄⠀
⢠⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣆
⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿
⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿
⢹⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⡿
⠀⠻⣿⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣾⡟⠁
⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣷⣶⣾⡿⠿⠛⠻⢿⣿⣶⣾⣿⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀
( .Yeti., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:16, Reply)

Delete this please, family friendly forum

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:21, Reply)

How do you think people usually start families?
It all begins with an erect willy.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:29, Reply)

Ah, but which came first - the willy or the egg?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:29, Reply)

The Oliver Twins' X-Rated Dizzy

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:54, Reply)

sm+

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 18:09, Reply)

Egg innit

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 20:27, Reply)

This forum is neither a family nor friendly.

( .Yeti., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:31, Reply)

We have a right laugh here don't we

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:36, Reply)

no

( .Yeti., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:42, Reply)

so a bit like a family then

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 16:18, Reply)

Fair

( .Yeti., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 16:25, Reply)

Kairat 3 nil up

( mongychops, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 16:50, Reply)

YES!
they're going all the way this year
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 17:19, Reply)

It's also a message board, not a forum.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 29 Jul 2025, 18:05, Reply)

GREAT MESSAGEBOARD BANTER

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 18:42, Reply)

Alright Rob from years ago calm down

( mongychops, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 19:29, Reply)

:(

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 29 Jul 2025, 20:12, Reply)

3ppb

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:29, Reply)

Ben Obese-Jecty

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 20:04, Reply)

afternoon

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 13:40, Reply)

Motion denied!

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 13:46, Reply)

Deny THIS!
*points at crotch*
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 13:46, Reply)

This gives me a great idea for a laxative advert.
Judge Constipation bangs his gavel on the plug of compacted faeces trying to emerge from a bumhole and yells "motion denied". Then a laxative suppository dives in, screaming "deny this!" and the shit erupts like a volcano into Judge Constipation's face.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 14:20, Reply)

Keep going, I'm nearly there

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 14:31, Reply)

Judge Conspitation stutters "m-m-m-motion carried", lumps of hard shit spitting from his mouth
and then the brand name of the suppositories comes up on the screen with the slogan "Constipated? We'll be the judge."
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 14:37, Reply)

I presume the guy who played J.R. Hartley is dead, he'd have been perfect casting though.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 14:39, Reply)

Please let it be James Corden

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 14:45, Reply)

Or James Sub-Prime

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 14:52, Reply)

I've got some bad news about him.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 14:55, Reply)

No, he's lined up for the pessary advert

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 15:53, Reply)

BECAUSE HE'S A CUNT

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 16:31, Reply)

It is an' all!
No flies on you, etc
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 13:58, Reply)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 6:36, Reply)

mooning

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 6:49, Reply)

zooming

( MiseryCunt, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 7:19, Reply)

mooring

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 11:07, Reply)

penal colony

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 8:08, Reply)

Just noticed that there is a road near to us called BELLAND DRIVE.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 8:41, Reply)

brizzle?
High Six!
(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 9:00, Reply)

Hey, we're Bristolians, we aren't from Norfolk or anything.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 11:09, Reply)

No, Cheltenham
I went to Bristol. I didn't like it.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 11:27, Reply)

Bomboclaat
Alternative forms - bumboclaat, bombaclaat, bambaclaat, bumbaclot, bumboclat, bumboclot, bomboclat
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 8:18, Reply)

The technical term is a "thrombosed external haemorrhoid"

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 8:50, Reply)

Yes, but everyone here knows him as garold.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 9:02, Reply)

*stomps out of the room in a huff*
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 9:06, Reply)

don't worry he'll be right back

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 11:44, Reply)

In the legendary reggae film Rockers, there's the line 'wh'appen raasclaat?'
In the subtitles this is translated as 'what's happening, bumcloth?'
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 9:04, Reply)

My brother used to say this when he phoned me up
Man I miss that prick :(
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 9:07, Reply)

Ach.
my brother in law has gone into the hospice. Gonna see him later this week. I keep thinking how funny it'd be to take him a line of shoe! I mean, awful, but he'd probably love it!
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 9:17, Reply)

Had the memorial for my uni flatmate on Saturday.
Strange day. I took along a load of old photos from the mid-90s to mid-00s, which his family and friends were delighted to see. His brother (with whom he had now-never-to-be-resolved issues) kept commenting on how slim he was. Seems he'd got used to the American lifestyle and had become properly fat, probably why he died in his sleep at 49. I hadn't seen him for 15 years, it felt like a memorial for someone I didn't know.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 10:08, Reply)

Now he's just some fat dead guy you used to know.
Gotyezzz
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 11:30, Reply)

Fat, bald, dead
JMGzzz

he wasn't actually bald but he was receding a bit
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 11:48, Reply)

This shitpost turned into something a lot more poignant than I expected

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 10:11, Reply)

Keep going, I'm nearly there

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jul 2025, 10:18, Reply)

Happy International Tiger Day!

⠀⠀⠀⣰⣟⠲⠤⣤⣤⣤⠶⢖⣲⣶⡶⢶⣶⣖⡲⠶⣤⣤⣤⡤⠖⡛⣆⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⣴⡿⠃⠀⡀⣀⡴⠁⣤⠶⠚⠋⠀⠀⠙⠓⠶⣤⠈⢦⣀⢀⠀⠘⢿⣦⠀⠀
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⣿⣰⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠉⠉⢹⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡏⠉⠉⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠁⠀⣆⣿
⢻⢿⣠⠀⠀⣿⣯⠁⠀⠀⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡀⠀⠀⠊⣽⣿⠁⠀⡀⡿⡟
⠈⢸⣿⡆⡀⠈⢿⣇⡀⠀⡼⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⢧⠀⢀⣸⡿⠃⢀⢰⣿⡗⠀
⠀⠈⢿⢿⣿⣦⡈⠻⢿⣄⡁⡾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⢈⣠⡿⠟⢁⣴⣿⡿⡻⠁⠀   You bet your life they're Gr-r-reat! 
⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠟⢿⣶⣤⣿⢇⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡞⡸⣿⣤⣶⡿⠻⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀   
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣘⣿⣒⣂⠙⠛⢷⡾⠛⠋⢐⣒⣿⣓⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⣧⣖⣀⣀⣬⣧⣀⣀⣲⣽⠃⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠳⢤⣄⣠⡤⠾⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

( $$ ✅, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 10:59, Reply)

ROAR
lol
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 11:32, Reply)

Rishi Taken-too-Sunak

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 28 Jul 2025, 19:28, Reply)

Boris Goneson

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 19:33, Reply)

Gone Major

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 19:38, Reply)

Graveid Camergone

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 19:39, Reply)

Gonedon Brown-Bread

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 19:43, Reply)

Tony Went

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 19:55, Reply)

Liz Sub-Prime

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 19:56, Reply)

Die-er Starmer

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 28 Jul 2025, 20:03, Reply)

Harold Wilsoff

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 20:05, Reply)

Edward Death

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 20:06, Reply)

Gonald Frump
- l
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Mon 28 Jul 2025, 20:28, Reply)

Cark-it Thatcher

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 28 Jul 2025, 20:55, Reply)

Edward Six Feet Beneath

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 21:01, Reply)

Boney Blair

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 21:02, Reply)

Theresa Mayn't

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 21:04, Reply)

Greenand Brown

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 21:04, Reply)

Pyre Starmer

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 21:06, Reply)

Liz Crusty

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 21:10, Reply)

This thrdead

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 21:17, Reply)

Ethereal the Unready

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 21:35, Reply)

Julius Cæsaren't

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 28 Jul 2025, 22:51, Reply)

Tut Ankh-Amunneurgh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 23:32, Reply)

Attila The Done

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 0:10, Reply)

King Sub-Priam

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 0:52, Reply)

Genghis Kharked

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 0:54, Reply)

king henry the stiff

( MiseryCunt, Tue 29 Jul 2025, 7:21, Reply)

Sar-gone of Akkad

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 29 Jul 2025, 10:12, Reply)

Hola spackattack's, it's only me (Queef Smegwin) here
I hope this finds you well.

Not really, get bent

Going to this tomorrow, because I'm a 'cool dude'
dstassiart.com/blogs/exhibitions/dstassi-art-present-lady-pink-miss-subway-nyc

What makes you a 'cool dude' or 'fly laytee'?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 17:44, Reply)

i've got air conditioning

( MiseryCunt, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 17:50, Reply)

air conditioning rectal seepage
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 18:00, Reply)

r conditioning ds
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 18:10, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8453915
( MiseryCunt, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 18:19, Reply)

my collection of 1940s brothel price lists

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 18:02, Reply)

I've inherited my brother's collection of Victorian midget postcards
He spent years and no small sum collecting them. The weird cunt.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 18:12, Reply)

Bet they’re worth a small fortune

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 18:15, Reply)

I don't think there's been much growth in the market tbh
I feel a bit short-changed
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 18:18, Reply)

It’s shrunk significantly in the last few years

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 18:19, Reply)

my pænus, I mean

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 18:20, Reply)

mighty oaks from little acorns grow, m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 18:29, Reply)

That sounds dull as fuck

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 18:04, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8453976
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 18:06, Reply)

I couldn't agree fewer

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 18:12, Reply)

pretentious bollocks
/talk, i mean
( MiseryCunt, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 19:41, Reply)

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 12:13, Reply)

Yeah

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 28 Jul 2025, 12:23, Reply)

That's what I thought.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 12:25, Reply)

ps, alright Michael Howard

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 28 Jul 2025, 12:24, Reply)

Norman Tebbit

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 16:13, Reply)

Did you threaten to overrule him?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 28 Jul 2025, 17:13, Reply)

Am I ever! Phwooooar

( broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 12:50, Reply)

I know right?
Yes mate.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 12:54, Reply)

-think +fist

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 13:00, Reply)

Are you thinking what I'm fisting?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 13:25, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8453991
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 15:06, Reply)

are you fisting what I'm thinking?

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 13:31, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8453991
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 15:06, Reply)

No. Not a chance.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 13:04, Reply)

You had to ruin this for me, didn't you?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 13:26, Reply)

Yes and you should be ashamed for thinking such things.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 13:49, Reply)

Good, good.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 13:57, Reply)

Yeah, Smegg Wallace poster really is a fucking wanker eh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 14:12, Reply)

For your sake, I hope not

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 14:42, Reply)

A thought shared is a thought halved, or something.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 15:14, Reply)

thoughts, you mean
"As a species, we are in danger of letting our ability to think go to our heads."
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 16:03, Reply)

Nah mate.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 16:18, Reply)

The sound of raindrops

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 16:35, Reply)

No mate
That is so 1994
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Mon 28 Jul 2025, 16:04, Reply)

In 1994 I was thinking "I wish someone would invent b3ta.com/talk so that we could all communicate our deepest fears, loves and desires"

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 16:19, Reply)

Kairat Almaty Vs KuPS today, Champions League qualifier, can't wait

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 16:18, Reply)

Yes, I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take my medications any more.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 17:39, Reply)

Won’t that mean that your African bum disease comes back?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 17:41, Reply)

Good morning fellow entities

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 6:32, Reply)

lol tit

( MiseryCunt, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 6:37, Reply)

What's good about it, exactly?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 9:01, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8453930
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 9:10, Reply)

Yo

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 9:31, Reply)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 28 Jul 2025, 9:43, Reply)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 10:20, Reply)

Good morning fellow netizen

( $$ ✅, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 10:56, Reply)

Well done ladies!

(Planearm, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 20:51, Reply)

I'm not a sports fan
But I assume the lionesses won
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 20:56, Reply)

I think he's actually a cannibal who prefers the meat to be falling-off-the-bone tender.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 27 Jul 2025, 20:58, Reply)

It went right down to penalties

(Planearm, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 21:02, Reply)

alt e
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 21:28, Reply)

So is it a bank holiday tomorrow or not?!!

(Planearm, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 21:11, Reply)

Just take the day off regardless

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 21:13, Reply)

Cheers

( broadsword now that's fresh, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 21:36, Reply)

It's fucking shit football, and I support Charlton.

( mongychops, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 21:50, Reply)

All football tastes the same

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 22:39, Reply)

It really doesn't.

( mongychops, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 23:12, Reply)

afternoon

( MiseryCunt, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 13:40, Reply)

Fuck you

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 13:49, Reply)

i love it when you talk dirty

( MiseryCunt, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 14:01, Reply)

John Selwyn Gummer

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 14:03, Reply)

phwoar

( MiseryCunt, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 14:59, Reply)

Michael Gove

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 18:05, Reply)

Michael Glove

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 27 Jul 2025, 18:39, Reply)

my cool glove

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 21:45, Reply)

Come on Engerland

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 16:42, Reply)

^

( broadsword now that's fresh, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 16:44, Reply)

Unless we get quick wickets it looks like a draw

( mongychops, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 16:52, Reply)

oh you

( MiseryCunt, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 18:01, Reply)

Christ, if our hopes are pinned on that furry little bastard it'll all be over before he waddles onto the pitch

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 18:12, Reply)

he waddles ewoks
( Cheers Cheers, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 18:29, Reply)

No, 'e hails a taxi

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 19:35, Reply)

In Baltimore today

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 17:23, Reply)

I know nothing about Baltimore. Not even a sports team name. I like a balti curry if that helps

( mongychops, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 17:55, Reply)

i bet you ask for seconds

( MiseryCunt, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 18:02, Reply)

I'm surprised I can't find a balti more restaurant

( mongychops, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 18:05, Reply)

^ Stringer Bellend

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 18:33, Reply)

go on then

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 28 Jul 2025, 16:11, Reply)

morning

( MiseryCunt, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 7:39, Reply)

^ the mongdaddy

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 27 Jul 2025, 7:45, Reply)

Bollocks from Zurich yeah

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 9:58, Reply)

^ insurance tosser

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 27 Jul 2025, 10:08, Reply)

^gnome with a hard-on

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 27 Jul 2025, 10:20, Reply)

I like this

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 12:34, Reply)

Go from Zurich to the Swiss-French border near Geneva, and it's "gnome with a hadron."

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 27 Jul 2025, 20:59, Reply)

^ taking the Swiss

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 10:30, Reply)

^Tobleronanist

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 10:50, Reply)

^ sitting on a pile of stolen Jewish gold like a Nazi dragon

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 11:10, Reply)

Funny you should say that, I was in Berlin just yesterday

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 12:16, Reply)

I don't want a holiday in the sun

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 12:42, Reply)

Go to Norway in winter then

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 14:07, Reply)

Did they kick you out when you forgot the words of Take My Breath Away?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 16:02, Reply)

No, no. I was *in* them. All of them.

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 16:52, Reply)

alright

(Chocco The Real Spanishfy, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 9:36, Reply)

flange

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 10:28, Reply)

what’s morning about it?

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 10:29, Reply)

dunno m8

( MiseryCunt, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 10:45, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8453889
( Cheers Cheers, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 10:47, Reply)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 11:00, Reply)

evening

( MiseryCunt, Sun 27 Jul 2025, 22:36, Reply)

Hullo bumstain's
How's yer Saturday? Quiet at work here, pub and takeaway l8r

Not so bad

Also, and I can say with complete certainty, that at some point today I will gunt a gorilla
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 13:05, Reply)

Did my longest run since knackering my foot and felt good
Fooooood later and then I’ll be cornholing a capybara, standard weekend round here
( Cheers Cheers, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 13:31, Reply)

I'm still exercising even though my ankles/feet are fucked
Not sure if it's a good idea but inactivity seems to make them worse
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 13:46, Reply)

Yeah that’s my approach. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Until it kills you., but at least I won’t die a fat fuck
( Cheers Cheers, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 13:48, Reply)

just as an ankle fucker instead

( MiseryCunt, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 15:26, Reply)

Shut your fucking face ankle fucker

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 26 Jul 2025, 16:38, Reply)

you're an ankle fucker i must say
you fucked your ankle yesterday!
( MiseryCunt, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 17:19, Reply)

^ big gay Ankle

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 26 Jul 2025, 17:25, Reply)

I've got a houseful of people
so I'm hiding in the shed.
But I can hear them from here :(
(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 13:36, Reply)

move your shed further away from the house

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 13:42, Reply)

hahaha you IDIOT he likes the shed where it is, move the house duh

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 14:37, Reply)

man what an IDIOT

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 14:45, Reply)

This is terrible bullying, I’m reporting you both to the mods so you get stepped for a week

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 14:49, Reply)

sorry all I heard there was 'I'm a bloody great IDIOT'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 14:59, Reply)

*gazzes Rob*

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 15:03, Reply)

That's stepping sorted

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 15:42, Reply)

50p ban

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 17:09, Reply)

said the IDIOT

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 17:58, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8453894
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 21:03, Reply)

I am at a cat show
My family likes cats so they have made me pay 40 quid to go and sit in a hall that stinks of cat piss
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 13:48, Reply)

Wow that really does sound turbo shit m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 14:34, Reply)

cat shit no less

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 23:42, Reply)

How much is it usually?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 14:38, Reply)

$1 😺

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 14:50, Reply)

Cat show?
Fucking stupid fucking cunt show more like
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 18:22, Reply)

Feline a bit grouchy?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 26 Jul 2025, 20:25, Reply)

Yeah a bit
I have no beef with cats, or cat lovers. I'm angry at something else, and I'm taking it out on this nonsense.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 23:36, Reply)

The mental has called 11 times so far today
And I've been to her house for 3 hours, which she can't remember.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 13:58, Reply)

Christ
Surely full time care must be needed by now
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 14:34, Reply)

for /chat users, you mean

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 14:39, Reply)

y

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 14:45, Reply)

It is
But her daughter is the only one who gets to decide that
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 17:26, Reply)

shame she still remembers your phone no.
what are the odds
( MiseryCunt, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 15:27, Reply)

Well with these fancy new phones, you don't actually have to type in the number each time you want to call someone.
I've got one myself, in fact. It's mint, verging on reem.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 26 Jul 2025, 16:15, Reply)

i don't believe you

( MiseryCunt, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 16:48, Reply)

It's new memories she can't make
Things she knew 10 years ago, she can still remember
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 17:27, Reply)

I don’t remember calling you at all today…
Also please respect my pronouns of he/him.

(People that have to inform you of their pronouns should just identify as cunts)
(Chocco The Real Spanishfy, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 19:53, Reply)

SPUNK on my GUNT

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 26 Jul 2025, 14:05, Reply)

k

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 14:46, Reply)

My doctor told me to rub butter on my bad back. I went downhill fast after that.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 26 Jul 2025, 15:07, Reply)

it reduces friction, me throttling you i mean

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 26 Jul 2025, 17:52, Reply)