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mornin9
(, Fri 17 Oct 2025, 6:50, Reply)
y3s

(, Fri 17 Oct 2025, 8:04, Reply)
H I T L E R

(, Fri 17 Oct 2025, 8:10, Reply)
a wild Hitler appears!

(, Fri 17 Oct 2025, 8:24, Reply)

morninr̸̨̧̞̮̩̠̺̪͕͉̣̬̻͔̬̬̙̥̲̥̣̩̙͎͖͔̹̠͇͖͕̰̬̭͖̪͈̰̼̗͇͙̣͖̈́͗͗̑̈́̂̄̆̓̄̄̌͑͒̇̾̽́̐͐̈́̽͆̄͆̾̐̾̀͆͌̿̐̋̐́̀̏̒̏͘͘̕͜͝͝͠͝ͅ
(, Fri 17 Oct 2025, 8:24, Reply)
Nurse! It's happening again.

(, Fri 17 Oct 2025, 8:26, Reply)
Ace of Spades Frehley

(, Fri 17 Oct 2025, 1:43, Reply)
Kiss of death

(, Fri 17 Oct 2025, 6:12, Reply)
Blayzit

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 16:20, Reply)
on it

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 16:26, Reply)
Respect

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 17:02, Reply)
My day has been mostly anuses with a smattering of penuses

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 16:28, Reply)
no testicles?

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 17:02, Reply)
I have seen testicles today but have not directly interacted with them

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 17:52, Reply)
in actual fact seeing is a form of interaction, just as physical in its own way as touching, or rubbing, or gently caressing

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 17:54, Reply)
In physics, the observer effect is the disturbance of an observed system by the act of observation.
In medicine, 2can can disturb testicles just by looking at them.
(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 18:51, Reply)
They call him The Testicle Disturber

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 19:11, Reply)
This is the reason he began disturbing testicles
🥷🏻
(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 19:13, Reply)
Peel session, etc

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 19:14, Reply)
^ prefers long play

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 19:18, Reply)
darwin deezzzzzz

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 19:16, Reply)
This is why your clients give you poor Google reviews

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 22:33, Reply)
Goolie reviews

(, Fri 17 Oct 2025, 1:33, Reply)
Have nips with that. Braw!

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 17:02, Reply)
smattered penus with a side of nips?

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 17:53, Reply)
æreõlä

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 17:56, Reply)
n0mz0rz

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 20:58, Reply)
Ha-ha, this-a-way
Ha-ha, that-a-way
(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 16:40, Reply)
A little bit of magic in his Japanese eye

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 17:02, Reply)
Oh you cunt
I'll have that in my head all night now
(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 19:33, Reply)
Based on a song by Leadbelly, pointless musical fact fans

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 19:35, Reply)
my oh my

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 21:05, Reply)
Cheez-It

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 16:45, Reply)
Bop it

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 17:03, Reply)
twist it

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 19:27, Reply)
Erry day m🎱

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 17:49, Reply)
I will not partake in an illegal activity
Unless it's crack
(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 18:25, Reply)
cractivity

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 18:34, Reply)
The RoboCop film poster is a painting, not a photo or a still from the film.
FACT-BOMB!
(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 18:54, Reply)
And you know who used to like painting? Hitler
Really makes you think
(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 19:36, Reply)
He still does

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 19:47, Reply)
I'm always thinking about Hitler.

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 19:50, Reply)
i can't cum without hitler

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 20:21, Reply)
Everything reminds me of Hitler

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 22:33, Reply)
I think that's heily unlikely

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 22:41, Reply)
my adolf on the sholf does

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 23:04, Reply)
Waaaaay ahead of you

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 19:50, Reply)
afternoon

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 13:18, Reply)
delete this please

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 13:19, Reply)
-this +your account

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 13:22, Reply)
+ and kill yourself

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 14:55, Reply)
Good evening.

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 13:40, Reply)
Fuck you, Smegg Wallace, fuck you

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 15:21, Reply)
Oh man, which thread

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 14:07, Reply)
oh man, it's the afternoon thread!!!!
Fucking check it the fuck out!!
(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 13:18, Reply)
Just handed in my notice
Panowie
(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 13:19, Reply)
Onwards and upwards

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 14:29, Reply)
aww yeah

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 13:22, Reply)
Shit just got mad real

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 13:28, Reply)
Oh, I am

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 13:59, Reply)
What a time to be alive

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 14:36, Reply)
do I reply to?

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 14:07, Reply)
This one obv

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 14:36, Reply)
Can’t wait for the afternoon thread, bet it’s gonna be off the chain

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 11:53, Reply)
Which bit off the chain? I hope it's the bit they used in the Grand Prix.

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 11:58, Reply)
I hope Mick Fleetwood dresses as a giant chicken for it

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 12:01, Reply)
If I know Mick as well as I think I do, he already has.

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 12:13, Reply)
What if, right, he takes off the giant chicken costume and he's actually a giant chicken underneath

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 13:02, Reply)
Fleetwood BWAAAWK

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 15:11, Reply)
the 22nd yard

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 12:02, Reply)
Yes mi lion

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 12:03, Reply)
Stevie Styx

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 12:04, Reply)
Christine McDie

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 12:12, Reply)
Gone Pas de Vie

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 12:12, Reply)
Peter Gangrene

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 12:18, Reply)
Lindsey Kickedthebucketham

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 12:19, Reply)
Bob Squelch

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 14:27, Reply)
Neil Fin

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 16:12, Reply)
RIP Fleetwood

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 12:38, Reply)
3/15 :(
Guardian topical news quiz
(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 12:48, Reply)
"this week, the Thursday quiz imagines the ghost of Liberace would like to know which of these people has won the most Academy Awards for best actress"
Ron from Sparks is no longer featured, I used to image that would improve it but no.
(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 12:59, Reply)
The Thursday quiz imagines what the ghost of Liberace would like to know?
How delighfully wackè.
(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 13:23, Reply)
If you're not funny, trying harder is probably not going to work out

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 13:50, Reply)
Why would it be on a chain?
It's not a keyring
(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 12:50, Reply)
No need to be pendantic

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 13:10, Reply)
This did not get the attention it deserved

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 22:27, Reply)
Shit is lit yo

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 13:12, Reply)
🔥

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 13:16, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 8:26, Reply)
this place is A MESS!

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 8:28, Reply)
Alright, david bowie

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 8:33, Reply)
More or less, yeah

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 9:40, Reply)
No frickin way dude!

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 10:35, Reply)
404ning, more like

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 10:52, Reply)
Great news coming into work this morning,
the courier left another delivery for the ambulance station on the same random bloke's doormat a mile away. There's another parcel out for delivery today, apparently the depot manager has phoned the driver to tell him to take it to the right place, which is reassuring.
(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 10:59, Reply)
if his previous instruction was to leave it in the wrong place, then I think this might work this time

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 11:07, Reply)
I only put things in the wrong place if I've been told to put them in the wrong place
It's just a rule I live by. Always have.
(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 11:23, Reply)
I think this is good advice to live by.

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 11:23, Reply)
What if the wrong place is the right place though

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 11:24, Reply)
Then it’ll be rightly left right in the wrong place.

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 11:28, Reply)
Rightly or wrongly, he left it down in the wrong place, up from the right place.

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 11:30, Reply)
"I've told you, we're not doing it that way again, it hurts too much." - Mrs horrible

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 11:32, Reply)
Right in the left earhole

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 11:37, Reply)
Sac in blac

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 11:14, Reply)
^ putting the 'jest' in gestational

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 11:28, Reply)
To cut a Long Story Short, happy birthday, Gary Kemp!

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 11:37, Reply)
I hope everyone chipped in to get him a hairy gimp

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 11:43, Reply)
RIP Gonz

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 11:52, Reply)
Good *ning
* insert time zone here
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 18:30, Reply)
AET
Almost EmmerdaleTime
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 19:19, Reply)
Emmerdale has returned to the tragic demise of Liv Dingle as Aaron Dingle commemorates three years since her television death, it says here

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 20:19, Reply)
You fucking stupid fucking cunt

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 20:21, Reply)
The Cardigans’ album?

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 20:27, Reply)
^ sick and tired

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 22:33, Reply)
that's not the real planearm btw

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 20:35, Reply)
You keep saying this as if it matters

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 20:36, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8459330
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 20:59, Reply)
It’s even more dull than the real one, so close enough

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 20:38, Reply)
Eh?
*googles*
Oh
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 22:53, Reply)
what did you google?

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 9:08, Reply)
the googles, obv

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 11:08, Reply)
Trying to sew while pissed isn't a good idea

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 21:52, Reply)
Have you tried pissing while sewed?

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 22:09, Reply)
It very much depends on where you're sewed.

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 10:55, Reply)
hi bumhole's
Queef here with a cool afternoon thread for you. Only cool people allowed here.
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 12:11, Reply)
Hi

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 12:17, Reply)
can't you read?
OUT
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 12:34, Reply)
Fuck him, Queen Smegwin, fuck him

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:54, Reply)
is that a typo
or do you know something?
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:46, Reply)
We are not amused

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 18:51, Reply)
Message received and understood, I'll sit this one out.

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 12:30, Reply)
Hey don't be so hasty m8

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 12:36, Reply)
I complained to a courier this morning because they made an egregious delivery error which the ambulance service correctly told us "may have been fatal to the public".
They replied and said "I am sorry for the inconveniences cause with regards to the mentioned parcel." So that's alright then.
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:19, Reply)
I think that's the first time I've ever deployed the word "egregious" in a serious sentence,
which I guess *does* make me cool.
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:20, Reply)
it fucken does

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:22, Reply)
/chat is srs bsns

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:38, Reply)
You'd explicitly instructed them not to leave your Rohypnol delivery with a neighbour?

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:39, Reply)
A big box containing four filled ambulance pouches lol
The courier took it to the same building number, I'll give him that. Admittedly it wasn't an ambulance station as stated on the address label, it was a residential house a mile away on a different street, but he obviously looked at the welcome mat and the catflap and thought "yep, this is the place" and left it sitting in the rain. Fortunately the neighbour watched this happen and went to take it inside before noticing it was addressed to the ambulance station, and took it there rather than injecting himself with all the drugs therein.

Thank fuck it wasn't garold, or we'd be reading his OD liveblog right now.
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 18:06, Reply)
help i'm lost

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 12:39, Reply)
take a pew
everything's ok
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:22, Reply)
I shouldn’t be here

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 12:50, Reply)
I've got to call my boss to resign later
not looking forward to that, he's a great bloke
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:23, Reply)
If he’s as good of a boss as you say he’ll be happy for you
That, or he’ll kick you in the gunt
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:30, Reply)
Make him a platter with 'I RESIGN' spelled out in prosciutto

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:37, Reply)
You don't have to resign, just don't turn up for work ever again.
With a bit of luck it will take them a while to work out that they should stop paying you.
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:42, Reply)
*Fonzie's*

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:04, Reply)
eyyyyyy

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:14, Reply)
*sits on it*

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:48, Reply)
erect-amundo

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:44, Reply)
Who is the arbiter of cool? I need to know if I’m cool or not.

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:07, Reply)
it's me m8, you're safe

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:14, Reply)
If you have to ask, you're not cool enough

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:28, Reply)
Ah, piss.

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:35, Reply)
OK, here now.
So what happens when not cool people post, do you ignore them or just delete the entire thread?
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:07, Reply)
I haven't really thought it through tbh

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:15, Reply)
Am I cool?
I don’t believe in transformers though?

You know those chicks with dicks…does that make me cool?
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:18, Reply)
well from what I can see in the media, being mental is cool nowadays so maybe you are

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:24, Reply)
I may be mental
But I am not that mental that I believe a man is a woman etc.

Unless it’s you.
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:30, Reply)
alright JK, get back to writing the wizard books now, there's a good lass

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:31, Reply)
Oh no, you are one of those fucking blue haired insane Fucknuts that believes in 300 genders aren’t you?
Which one of them do you identify as? A wanker?
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:41, Reply)
Well, that escalated quickly.

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:46, Reply)
Right though…yeah?

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:09, Reply)
I can see you're far too clever to argue with, so I'm just going to go along with whatever you say.

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:20, Reply)
So that’s a fucking yes then.
Go get some blue rinse
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:41, Reply)
Why, if I already have blue hair?
I'm beginning to think that you might actually be a fucking idiot.
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:47, Reply)
It doesn't understand hair colour possibilities

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:55, Reply)
I think it's back on cocaine again, it hasn't shitposted this furiously and incoherently for ages.
I'm amazed its heart hasn't exploded yet, can only be a matter of time now.
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 15:13, Reply)
lol

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 20:23, Reply)
So edgy
Wanna cyber?
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:49, Reply)
You're right, it's definitely Linehan rather than Rowling.

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:57, Reply)
I do

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:14, Reply)
I know YOU do, you bloody rascal!

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:44, Reply)
Oh no, you’re one of those fucknuts that gets angry about people just trying to live their lives without it having any impact on you whatsoever, aren’t you?

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:34, Reply)
But it does have an impact on me.
On all of us.

You fucking knob.

Forcing me to call people things they aren’t is an impact isn’t it?
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:42, Reply)
No-one is forcing you though are they

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:43, Reply)
I might force it to choke on rancid ball batter though

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:55, Reply)
Fucking try me

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:57, Reply)
Ah, yes
The anti-trans fuckwit who writes under the pseudonym of Robert Galbraith.
The only woman since Debbie McGee to successfully milk a small wizard for decades.
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:16, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:30, Reply)
That second sentence is going to stay with me

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 18:07, Reply)
Good

(, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 19:50, Reply)
*flashes minge*

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:32, Reply)
*sniffs*
*faints*
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:42, Reply)
We've all had one off the wrist to Eva Lin, m8

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:48, Reply)

Lin Braun
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:49, Reply)
Tong tian lao shu xia jiang yr nan
Eva Lin is known for Dan bo dan (1981), Tong tian lao shu xia jiang nan (1978) and Assault of Final Rival (1978).
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:25, Reply)
Bit racist.

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 22:40, Reply)
Yo

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:28, Reply)
sup

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:32, Reply)
Naink

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:14, Reply)
Safe

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 18:55, Reply)
Hi, fellow truth seekers

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:14, Reply)
Is a certain fucking lunatic posting in our midst again, by any chance?

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 15:08, Reply)
Yes but this place has attracted several certain fucking lunatics over the years.
So who can say which one it is?
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 15:21, Reply)
Well I've got a fairly good idea.

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 16:51, Reply)
New oven delivered, it arrived much earlier than they said so they had to deal with the fumes from my 'breakfast', hope the driver is ok

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 15:22, Reply)
sounds sexual
count me in
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 16:31, Reply)
do you mean you'd had a massive shit?
I'm struggling with the quote marks' significance tbh
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:06, Reply)
they have the same significance as yours, except they're double

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:11, Reply)
the room was thick with weed smoke, herbal breakfast innit

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:23, Reply)
aha righto

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:47, Reply)
Is Spanishfly dead yet?
I mean, I fucken hope so, but y'know
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 16:51, Reply)
Noncemurder is all the rage these days, so you never know.

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:13, Reply)
morning

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 6:33, Reply)
Smeggus Maximus Wallacia!

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 6:36, Reply)
Say what you see!

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 8:02, Reply)
a cunt

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 10:28, Reply)
Glandiator

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 9:56, Reply)
Seems dark out. Fuck that.

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 6:50, Reply)
Getting light now, so it’ll all be okay.

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 7:36, Reply)
Bit insulting to us blinds

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 7:52, Reply)
Only a bit insulting?
I’d better try harder.
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 8:45, Reply)
You can sign what you like about blind people.

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 9:04, Reply)
Happy White Cane Safety Day!

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 8:56, Reply)
Who said that

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 10:10, Reply)
Pull yourself together oh hahaha

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 9:13, Reply)

To make wooden Venetian blinds, you'll need to prepare the wooden slats, assemble them with a lifting mechanism, and finish the project.
The slats can be cut from a larger piece of wood or by replacing the slats on an existing blind.
After cutting the slats to size, you'll need to create holes for the control cords, sand and finish the wood,
then reassemble the blinds by threading the cords through the slats and attaching the headrail and bottom rail.
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 11:30, Reply)
They wooden go

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 11:31, Reply)
Your mam's a slat

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 11:36, Reply)
whereas yours is fitted with a lifting mechanism

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 11:38, Reply)
Yeah well she has to be because she's grossly overweight
So take that and thread it through your control cord hole
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 11:49, Reply)
you might want to sand and finish the wood yeah

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 12:41, Reply)
I'm sanding and finishing my wood as I type this

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 12:49, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8459256
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 16:35, Reply)
pissflaps

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 7:19, Reply)
morning

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 8:56, Reply)
And when they met....
it was moiduh!!!
(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 9:37, Reply)
Drawn Struzan

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 18:47, Reply)
i just ate an entire quiche

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 19:01, Reply)
sheesh

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 19:27, Reply)
niche

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 19:54, Reply)
/connery

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 19:54, Reply)
"no, it's my nephew"

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 20:50, Reply)
On the dating circuit?

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 0:18, Reply)
Quiche Richards

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 20:49, Reply)
Peter Flanpton

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 20:51, Reply)
Did you eat it slowly or quichely?

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 20:53, Reply)
Nelly Frittata

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 21:00, Reply)
Pizza Gabriel

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 21:01, Reply)
Filo Collins

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 21:02, Reply)
Samosa Smith

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 21:03, Reply)
Scone Bon Jovi

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 21:05, Reply)
if you’re one of those pricks who pronounces Scone to rhyme with Cone then fuck you

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 21:06, Reply)
It's pronounced 'scone'.

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 22:17, Reply)
shkon, like my niche

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 22:56, Reply)
On the dating circuit?

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 0:48, Reply)
fuck you then

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 23:55, Reply)
That fella who did why does it always rain on me, oh lol

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 0:26, Reply)
Flan Healy

(, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 0:47, Reply)
Well, that's next week's tedious image challenge set

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 19:39, Reply)
cheer up grumpy gus!

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 19:55, Reply)
That's the following week's tedious image challenge set

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 20:01, Reply)
Also, haven't you got a photo of Fraser to 'shop repeatedly?

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 22:57, Reply)
omg guy's
Seems like I've got a new job. woo yay dibnah
(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:33, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8383318
(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:36, Reply)
African Bum Cleaner actually

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:41, Reply)
Aw aye?

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:40, Reply)
y
the place I tried out for earlier this year. chap who ended up getting the job instead of me has left due to long term health issues, and as their 2nd choice I've been offered the role. sloppy seconds, but I don't care, it's pretty much my dream job
(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:43, Reply)
Backup fluffer, eh?

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:49, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8459176
(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:57, Reply)
-long term health issues +the slow poison i administered

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:27, Reply)
Congratulations! As the new leader of Reform in Kent
we hope you do a great job as council leader.

STOP THOSE BOATS!!!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:53, Reply)
I'm tough on migrants, tough on the causes of migrants

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:56, Reply)
boats, then. they really ought to be rounding up boat makers.

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:29, Reply)
I’ve got a whole raft of policies to do just that

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:34, Reply)
Must have been a great campaign launch

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:36, Reply)
I sailed through the presentation

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:36, Reply)
Are these puns going to carry on oar are you going to stop?

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:48, Reply)
I’ve Knot really got any moor puns

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:51, Reply)
You are seamen to run out of steam

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 15:04, Reply)
Careful now buoy

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 15:04, Reply)
Lead singer of the LostProphets?

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:08, Reply)
yep
we're recording a cover of The Kids are Alright by The 'Oo on the weekend
(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:15, Reply)
Written by Pete Townshend, checks out

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:47, Reply)
-he +o

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:48, Reply)
Townsond
monster munch
(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:49, Reply)
Coers

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 15:04, Reply)
Budweiser

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 16:12, Reply)
congrats
*comedy job assumption?*
(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:33, Reply)
cheers, Cheers

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 15:37, Reply)
Nice
something in charcuterie, I bet
(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:39, Reply)
yep

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 15:36, Reply)
Cabin boy on a winkle barge?

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 15:21, Reply)
Nigel Farage stunt cock

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 16:08, Reply)
turtle power :*(

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 16:52, Reply)
Well done Queef
I hope you remember all of us when you're in your ivory tower.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 15:56, Reply)
I always say be nice to people on your way up. because you might meet them again on your way down.


OK if I'm honest I don't always say that. In fact I never say that.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 16:10, Reply)
u just did m8

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 18:51, Reply)
wiv d'angelos now

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 17:19, Reply)
Die’Angelo

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 18:19, Reply)
Fuck's sake, it's bad form to post a death pun when somebody actually *has* died.
Justifies me checking though, I suppose.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 18:31, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8448458
(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 18:40, Reply)
‘tis the morning

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 6:08, Reply)
+t

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 6:54, Reply)
morningt

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 8:26, Reply)
alright

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 7:10, Reply)
y

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 8:26, Reply)
Marilyn Mandown

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 8:33, Reply)
Only the crumbliest, flakiest chocolate ...
... tastes like chocolate never tasted before…
(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 9:07, Reply)
Bollocks
Lots of things taste like chocolate never tasted before, like potatoes. Or cheese. Or a sock.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 9:38, Reply)
Mmm...sockolate

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 9:44, Reply)
Chocolate spudding?

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 9:52, Reply)
Next you'll be telling us that a Mars a day *doesn't* help you work, rest and play!

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 11:57, Reply)
I really hope none of the chocolate I've eaten has been previously tasted by someone

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 11:19, Reply)
If you drill it down to the component molecules and atoms,
they will have previously been consumed by/part of countless organisms during their existence in the universe.

On the plus side, all chocolate is made of stardust.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 11:59, Reply)
Alright, David 'avocado' Wolfe

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 12:24, Reply)
I looked at the ingredients, there's no molecules in american chocolate

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:02, Reply)
Oh well that's great news, it doesn't contain any chemicals!

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:13, Reply)
vacuumo

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:56, Reply)
It is indeed

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 9:38, Reply)
It was my birthday yesterday make me feel special,
or just make me feel something*

*By something I don't mean your genitals.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 9:54, Reply)
Have a wonderful World Standards Day!

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:03, Reply)
Many happy returns

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:12, Reply)
I got you a head dobber

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:14, Reply)
happy belated bidet m8
by which I of course mean GEOSTORM
(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:24, Reply)
GEOSTORM

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:29, Reply)
Anusol!

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:36, Reply)
GEEOLDSTORM

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 11:36, Reply)
Cheers

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:03, Reply)
I just found my 10" of Cocaine in my Brain by Dillinger
It's been missing for years, was tucked in with another record

I know you've been worrying about this so I thought you'd like to know
(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:03, Reply)
How is it spelled on the label? I thought it was "Cokane" but it seems to depend.

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:11, Reply)
Cocaine - but it's a white label and the writing is just on a sticker
You're right though, regular release is cokane

www.discogs.com/master/6788-Dillinger-Cokane-In-My-Brain-bw-Power-Bank
(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:23, Reply)
Do you have a copy of "I glued my balls to my butthole again"?

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:16, Reply)
Have it? I fucking wrote it m8

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:23, Reply)
Do you still own the rights,
or have you re-recorded it as "(queef's version)" a la Taylor Swift?
(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:29, Reply)
Diss-yourself Record

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:37, Reply)
I sold them to Michael Jackson :(

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 11:16, Reply)
-them +my children

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 11:44, Reply)
-sold +rented

(, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:03, Reply)
It has taken me 39 years to clock that It's Tricky by Run-DMC is based on Hey Mickey by Toni Basil
What a fucking stupid fucking cunt I am, eh readers?

jfc
(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 16:41, Reply)
You say "readers" as though I read any of what you just wrote.

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 16:45, Reply)
you fucking did m8
you fucking did
(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 16:46, Reply)
no one is reading any of the shit we type

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 16:47, Reply)
we act like stupid kids

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 16:49, Reply)
=skids
maybe your pants
(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 16:49, Reply)
we have a right laugh here don't we

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 17:19, Reply)
absolutely.

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 17:21, Reply)
Well I certainly do

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 21:08, Reply)
Oh yeah, now you mention it

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 17:18, Reply)
Lol, next you'll be telling us you didn't realise that DMC stood for "DeLorean Motor Company"
Due to Darryl McDaniels long term ambition to one day own the company despite it having gone bankrupt several years earlier.
(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 18:02, Reply)
hang on what

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 18:45, Reply)
Yeah, well known fact about Darryl McDaniels.
Or 'DMC' to his friends
(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 19:48, Reply)
Wow
I did not know that about Darryl Motor Cdaniels
(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 20:40, Reply)
Really? Oh. Your a good lad. I've got a 1999 project debut deck to give away. Anybody want it. Cunts heavy you pay stamps

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 18:20, Reply)
I'm old enough to remember when regularly sending letters by first class would cost you less than a heavy crack habit.

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 18:24, Reply)
any letter that exceeds the size of the stamp costs extra

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 19:16, Reply)
I don't know what that is
so I'll politely decline
(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 18:51, Reply)
Record player.

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 19:18, Reply)
More like It's Trickly by Bum-DMC in your case, eh Queef.

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 18:23, Reply)
STEADY ON

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 20:50, Reply)
Wank This Way

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 18:26, Reply)

W G

Gank, monster munch
(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 18:43, Reply)
I'm Two Hats and I'm here to say, I'm rapping to the beat in a rapping way!
How was that? Any good?
(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 19:40, Reply)
That was better than anything that falls under the definition of UK grime.

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 19:44, Reply)
It was SICKLY!

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 19:50, Reply)
Fucking top notch nig

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 20:44, Reply)
Well my name is Queef I'm the king of this town
If you check out my pants you'll find the skids are brown

*headspins*
(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 20:48, Reply)
*worms*

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 21:08, Reply)

fucking stupid fucking cunt pinnacle of autism, visible from space
(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 20:07, Reply)
Man on the ‘Noon

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 12:53, Reply)
man up my bum

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 13:08, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8459073
(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 13:30, Reply)
he definitely wasn't a top

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 14:01, Reply)
Christopher Begones

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 15:27, Reply)
Christopher Grave-Diggins

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 15:30, Reply)
Christopher Ends

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 15:49, Reply)
REMzzz

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 15:32, Reply)
Wingszzzzz

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 16:47, Reply)
Cat vom on the floor

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 13:35, Reply)
Tra la la la la

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 13:45, Reply)
Womack & Womack'zzz

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 13:47, Reply)
she looks like a sugar in a plum

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 13:54, Reply)
that is what we orr

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 13:58, Reply)
Jennifer Lopezzz

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 13:59, Reply)
Jim Scarey

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 14:19, Reply)
Danny DeadVito

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 14:36, Reply)
Nick Bury

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 14:45, Reply)
Jeffrey Tombs

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 14:47, Reply)
Peter Spook

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 14:48, Reply)
(Dearly Dep) Art (ed) Garfunkel

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 14:52, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8458768#post8458778
(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 15:03, Reply)
Dudley no Moore

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 16:02, Reply)
... Roger no Moore, Patrick no Moore...

/the Proclaimers
(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 16:06, Reply)
I watched a clip of him showing off some of his glow-in-the-dark art, he is not well

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 14:45, Reply)
Aeneas Wiener

(, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 15:35, Reply)

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