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Alright, my father just waked in and asked about the music I was listening to.
I told him it was African, tribal virility music, I bought from a porn shop, as straight-faced as I could manage - not from the porn shop, but to him (like the porn shop gives a flying flip what I buy?).

It was funny to see his face twist up into acceptance. My father is cool as fuck! Yes, I'm bi, yes, I paint my toenails pink or purple (depending on the sun), yes, I wear six to a dozen silver toe rings and walk barefooted in the snow. Yes, I have titanium through my nipples and dance to the beat of a bit different drummer, but we have mutual respect. Stop giving a shit? I did. It doesn't hurt a damned thing!

I voted for 'that nigger', against my father. I felt Obama had a better general policy, and you know, I think my father voted the same way. but for that other guy. I admire him for standing up for what he felt in the same way I did. I don't agree with him, but he's just as right to cast his opinion, and I'd die to defend that choice. With my life, in a jet, supersonic, Let's show these motherfuckers who they're dealing with?

I applied to the USAF to fly with a bandage over my forehead back in 1988. It was a horrible car wreck and I flat-lined three times in the hospital over my nine day 'vacation'. I passed the ASFAB entrance exam at 99+%, still with the fucking bandage on. I I could have made US Air Force Top Gun, and been flying real jets and protecting our boys on the ground.

GRRR! GOD DAMN IT! And you wonder where the passion comes from? It comes from loving people we don't even know - innocent people who are dying! Stop killing *MY* people! I don't care where they live, innocent people are MINE, and I swear my life (Yes, my life) to protect them. Get it, fuckers? You either step the fuck down or you die. It's simple. We will kill you if you don't stop, and it's because you're assholes. I don't give a shit about your religion. Step down, or die. We can talk about it, somewhat civilly. You kill more innocent people, not involved in the debate, and I can jam a hand grenade up your butt and throw you into a crowd of your fucking buddies. That's how it is. Dickheads. We are much, much bigger than you. Choose?

GRRR! Stop being dicks! We could BUY you fucking little whores! and your oil and sand, or just fucking take it.
(I helped save b3ta! Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:01, archived)
tl;dr
Needs more bread.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:01, archived)
It was like a gonz ramble
but with better spelling, and I care less about it
(I helped save b3ta! TY&GN, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:04, archived)
Q. What's Darth Vader's favourite drink?
A. Space drink.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:05, archived)
I like these :D

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:07, archived)
Q. What happened to girl's face?
A. Pox.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:08, archived)
Fuck off, we're talking about bread.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:01, archived)
But more importantly, what is your favourite bread?

(I helped save b3ta! mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:02, archived)
Fuck off

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:02, archived)
I feel a bit sick after reading it.
It's like I KNOW him.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:04, archived)
But now I think even less of him, because he has no problem with blowing people up for oil.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:05, archived)
YOU FUCKING BREAD IDIOT.
YOU'RE RUINING BREADY TIME
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:03, archived)
How did that start with music and end with you dying for oil and sand?

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:04, archived)
He's not dying for oil and sand.
He's going to kill sand niggers because they have some fucked up hokey religion and are a different colour to him. Oh and their country is smaller.
(I helped save b3ta! OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:05, archived)
The sand people are easily frightened, but will return in greater numbers.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:08, archived)
The entire Iraq war would have been accepted by far more people
if the footage had been doctored to turn all the fighters into Tuskan Raiders and Stormtroopers.
(I helped save b3ta! OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:10, archived)
I like the idea that America, with one of the world's most staggering national debts
can afford to buy all those oil rich countries.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:05, archived)
That was the second point I was going to raise.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:06, archived)
Man: Doctor doctor, my cock is shaped like a saxophone.
Doctor: I'm Harold Shipman. You're fucking dead! Haahahahahahahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:04, archived)
LOL

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:05, archived)
Pfffft!

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:05, archived)
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Dr Shipman. Is your nan in?
(I helped save b3ta! mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:06, archived)
Haha, you've thrown your life away and now you act wacky on the internet in a desperate bid for attention
as even your father doesn't give a fuck any more.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:05, archived)
This ^
DADDY DADDY LOOK AT ME I'M SOOOO WACKY LOOOOLOLOLOL!

PAY ATTENTION TO ME DADDY, I DO ALL THIS FOR YOUUUU!
(I helped save b3ta! OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:06, archived)
What's wrong with you?

(I helped save b3ta! Malaka omdz, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:06, archived)
In summary then:
"I went into an adult shop and think everyone including my dad will be interested.
My dad's a racist, but it's ok because he has strong personal beliefs.
Incomprehensible bit about planes.
Americans are better than anyone else, if you have a problem with that I'll kill you."

Summary in summary "I'm a pompous redneck cunt"
(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:07, archived)
I'm glad that bit about planes was generally incomprehensible and that it's not just me.

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:11, archived)
Summary in summary in summary: 'Syncubus: maybe the Daily Mail was right about the internet'

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:12, archived)
My Dad also just gave me a strawberry lollipop
which I stole from my Dr.'s office, and which is also completely nasty. I don't blame him, but I just snatched two out of the jar. I got the watermelon one, and he ended up with the strawberry one, and it was a good choice, because the watermelon one didn't suck, and the strawberry one is fuck-all vile! I didn't know they made shitty-tasting strawberry, but you could use this fucker as a weapon!
(I helped save b3ta! Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:10, archived)
Does he give you a lollipop every time.....?

(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:11, archived)
Just this once.
I stole it for him, from the lollipop jug.
(I helped save b3ta! Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:24, archived)
What just the absolute juddering fuck are you really banging on about?

(I helped save b3ta! TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:11, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/5726469
(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:18, archived)
I crank my whizzers with cards on the TCP/IP spokes, bitch!

(I helped save b3ta! Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:28, archived)
I didn't read that
but I did see whores! in the last line which almost interested me enough to read it

but not quite
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 0:26, archived)
Hahahahahah!
Prick.
(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 7:49, archived)