Today is Cock Tuesday
He who outlives this day and comes safe home will stand a tiptoe when this day is named and rouse him at the name of Wormulus.

He that sees this days and lives old age will weekly on the vigil fist his neighbour and say:
'Tomorrow is Cock Tuesday'
Then he will strip his pants and show his cock and say:
'These wounds I had on Cock Tuesday'

Old men forget yet all shall be forgot
but he'll remember with advantages what FEATS he did that day.
then shall our names:
Wormulus the king, Dave Trouser, Bobson Chimpworth, Floppy Donkey and Al The Geordie
familiar in their mouths as cock
be at their cocks freshly remembered.

This meme shall the good man teach his son
and COCK TUESDAY shall ne're go by
from this day until the ending of the world,
but we in it shall be remembered.

WE FEW WE COCKY FEW
WE BAND OF COCKS
FOR ANY MAN WHO SHARES HIS COCK WITH ME SHALL BE MY BROTHER
BE HE NE'RE SO VILE
THIS DAY SHALL GENTLE HIS COCK

AND LURKERS ON QOTW NOW FIBBING
SHALL THINK THEMSELVES A'COCKED THEY WERE NOT HERE

AND HOLD THEIR MANHOODS CHEAP WHILST ANY SPEAKS


THAT FOUGHT WITH US UPON COCK TUESDAY.
( WormuIus, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:22, archived)

*fucks off back to work*

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:23, archived)

So, what's your favourite biscuit?

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:31, archived)

chocolate hobnob

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:45, archived)

Limp.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:46, archived)

GAAAY

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:47, archived)

At least he didn't say 'soggy'.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:47, archived)

I don't actually like them
it was the only non-standard answer I could think of.

Also, what Double-R said.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:48, archived)

I'll leave this here:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=298vtPJYSTM
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:50, archived)

Cock Tuesday?
Gay shit fucking tripe arse shit more like.
( magnum, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:23, archived)

Not really as catchy is it though?

( thealternativefact, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:29, archived)

Does anyone else's nose automatically start to run if they yawn?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:24, archived)

Is your fridgerater running?
THEN YOU HAD BEST GO CATCH UP AFTER IT?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:26, archived)

Be more helpful.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:27, archived)

Polyfiller?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:31, archived)

*slide whistle*

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:27, archived)

Snare Hitom Bass Crash

(Twin Pack Even less funny than Michael McIntyre, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:28, archived)

two timpanis and a cymbal fall off a cliff?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:40, archived)

I always yawn when I see cock tuesday, too.

( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:28, archived)

I've been yawning all day
cock tuesday really doesn't bother me in the slightest.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:30, archived)

It's only a tiny cock tuesday, not worth getting bothered about.
:: SIGH :: I wish more women had that attitude.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:40, archived)

it's your soul trying to flee

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:28, archived)

No, yours is broken.
Chop it off.
(MooCow_Byter, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:29, archived)

When I yawn, my mouth opens so wide it goes right round and then I eat my own head

( Theoban What of it, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:32, archived)

Does your nose run whilst you're doing that?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:32, archived)

Well when I've eaten half my own head the mucus in my nose starts pouring back into my gaping maw

( Theoban What of it, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:34, archived)

Have you considered writing for Mills and Boon?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:34, archived)

Derek lifted up Lydia and gently caressed her brow as he slowly but surely undressed her from her gossamer nightie
Laying her down on the bed, she nodded encouragingly as he entered her, softly at first but then with growing insistence.

"Oh jesus is that supposed to do that? Oh god there's blood everywhere oh god oh god this bed was new oh jesus oh crap oh hell what are we going to do now your parents are back in half an hour" he whispered softly, lovingly into her ear.
( Theoban What of it, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:37, archived)

Titania was powerless to resist
as his sapphire eyes seemed to burn into her very soul. His strong arms enveloped her. Within seconds he had dropped his trolleys and was conkers deep.

/Viz and Boon
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:42, archived)

you could couteract it by farting so hard your bum opens so wide it all get sucked back through the other way

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:33, archived)

Then I'd just by a one man mobius strip
I'm gonna do that
( Theoban What of it, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:33, archived)

I had no idea it was tuesdays of cock

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:24, archived)

I've not heard of this Cock Tuesday, could you explain it to me please?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:25, archived)

Good god.

( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:26, archived)

You dropped this
+ that's a shit meme
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:28, archived)

Yes dear.

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:29, archived)

ONCE MORE UNTO THE COCK DEAR FRIENDS ONCE MORE
or close the wall up with our Cock Tuesday dead.
( WormuIus, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:31, archived)

Let us sit upon the Cocks, and tell sad stories of the death of Cock Tuesday

( Theoban What of it, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:33, archived)

Alas poor cock I cock cock cock cock

( WormuIus, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:37, archived)

To Cock, or Cock Tuesday, that is the question

( Theoban What of it, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:37, archived)

Oh I see what you've done there.
Very clever.
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:32, archived)

COCK TUESDAY? SO SOON?
It fels like the last one was but a week ago...
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 15:45, archived)