yeah well, you know, it was me that broke b3ta last week. honestly.
I was on /links and thought I'd post TWO links instead of the casual b3tan poster way of only one.

it was when I wanted to submit the new thread that suddenly b3ta was gone.

I might get banned for that or because this is not a valid qotw answer.
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 28 May 2018, 12:36, archived)

stats board's gone completely
I think a lot of back end stuff may have been tinkered with related to GDPR.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 28 May 2018, 12:46, archived)

we can start from scratch.

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 28 May 2018, 12:53, archived)

We can rebuild it
We have the technology. We can make it better than it was before. Better. Stronger. Faster.
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 28 May 2018, 13:34, archived)

I watched Boss Baby this weeekend because I needed to keep my brat occupied
and at one point the main character makes this massive leap and there was a sound effect like "shu-shu-shu-shu" as time slowed down and I know it's from a 70s tv show but I don't know which one and I don't care enough to research it. But it was probably $6m Man.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 28 May 2018, 13:59, archived)

it's the shu people, ma8

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 28 May 2018, 14:11, archived)

If it's what I think it is, it's the bionic man

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 28 May 2018, 14:18, archived)

there you go
www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-G0SVEQW8A
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 28 May 2018, 14:28, archived)

that's the bunny

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 28 May 2018, 15:22, archived)

You did that rong The LOVELY Smashy.
B3ta! Shitter! Fucked-upper!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 28 May 2018, 19:15, archived)

Pfff

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 28 May 2018, 20:18, archived)

(of which 1 have appeared on the front page)
The important stuff is still there
( CowJam, Mon 28 May 2018, 15:46, archived)

1 have? what the fuck kind of grammar is that?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 28 May 2018, 16:44, archived)

Mine says 57 have

( mongychops, Mon 28 May 2018, 17:01, archived)

that's more like it

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 28 May 2018, 17:17, archived)

fuck, another shooting round the corner from me
helicopters everywhere
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 28 May 2018, 17:21, archived)

Stop ordering people whacked, then.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 28 May 2018, 17:57, archived)

But how can I make the others fear me if I stop the whacking?

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 28 May 2018, 18:41, archived)

I bet tangles is lording it up now Coventry are in league one

( $$ ✅, Mon 28 May 2018, 17:20, archived)

He'll be on a horse naked , as per

( mongychops, Mon 28 May 2018, 17:51, archived)

cor!

( $$ ✅, Mon 28 May 2018, 18:01, archived)

They unleashed Blue Star?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 28 May 2018, 21:26, archived)

That's clearly bullshit The LOVELY Woodise.
I've spent many a drunken night posting shedloads of links just to piss the links/tards off and I only broke b3ta once, or maybe twice.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 28 May 2018, 19:14, archived)

^ woke af

( mongychops, Mon 28 May 2018, 19:58, archived)

Just shedposted the new question mongy, see you next week.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 28 May 2018, 21:24, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 28 May 2018, 6:17, archived)

Nah.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 28 May 2018, 7:42, archived)

don't start the week with this 'tude m8, it'll do you no good

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 28 May 2018, 7:49, archived)

Bank holiday. Do what I want

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 28 May 2018, 7:59, archived)

christ, is it?
no wonder this place is deader than it usually is
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 28 May 2018, 8:12, archived)

Might go ride on the rev limiter through some sleepy Cotswold villages.
Show those cunts who is boss
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 28 May 2018, 8:51, archived)

lay down some rubber mate, claim that asphalt as your own

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 28 May 2018, 8:53, archived)

And I thought this website might have finally gone for good.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 28 May 2018, 8:28, archived)

thought hoped
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 28 May 2018, 8:30, archived)

we do take this place for granted tho

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 28 May 2018, 8:30, archived)

Might join 2H on twitter.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 28 May 2018, 9:19, archived)

Yeti's stuck on reddit
we're scattered to the winds :(
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 28 May 2018, 9:20, archived)

Isn't reddit just /links with a different colour scheme?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 28 May 2018, 9:31, archived)

You can start text-only posts too
Someone needs to go over there and keep Yeti company.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 28 May 2018, 9:33, archived)

I can haz b3ta again
thank you Rob.
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 28 May 2018, 8:30, archived)

remember to fondle his balls while you're down there

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 28 May 2018, 8:38, archived)

arf

(ozof, Mon 28 May 2018, 11:07, archived)

Oh, it's back.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 28 May 2018, 9:16, archived)

what, the stench emanating from your anus?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 28 May 2018, 9:19, archived)

That's always there silly.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 28 May 2018, 19:17, archived)

wotcha

(hmmmm, Mon 28 May 2018, 10:33, archived)

alright 1/4 of the Crash Test Dummies

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 28 May 2018, 10:46, archived)

golly i feel rough

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 28 May 2018, 11:14, archived)

tough weekend?
I'm recovering too.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 28 May 2018, 11:17, archived)

I've been quite well behaved until yesterday.
Makes a change from getting smashed friday/saturday and wasting the rest hungover. Might go down the park with a book and a couple of cold tinnies though.

Because I've been cycling to work in a jumper for longer than I've been out and about without a jumper I've got darker hands, like someone who can't apply fake tan properly.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 28 May 2018, 11:27, archived)

I went to a conference last week followed by a birthday
so today's the first time I'm sober since Wednesday.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 28 May 2018, 11:39, archived)

Work sent us to an AWS summit the other week.
Dunno why people get all het up about that Elon Musk, Jeff B is the one to worry about. Google and facebook could go down and it'd be annoying, if aws broke the internet would be fucked.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 28 May 2018, 11:41, archived)

Jeff B is a cunt
Elon Musk does have a tendency to spout shit
( $$ ✅, Mon 28 May 2018, 12:00, archived)

kick me in the schafernakers

( $$ ✅, Mon 28 May 2018, 11:31, archived)

isn't that the wanky dance Johnny Depp does at the end of the recent Alice in Wonderland abomination?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 28 May 2018, 11:39, archived)

Morning
Got a trial shift at a hotel/ spa this Thursday
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 28 May 2018, 11:35, archived)

Shifting is Irish slang for french kissing, linguist fans

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 28 May 2018, 11:39, archived)

Good to know

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 28 May 2018, 12:02, archived)

alright

( mongychops, Sun 27 May 2018, 20:00, archived)

Alright Mongy

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 27 May 2018, 20:03, archived)

Sweet

( mongychops, Sun 27 May 2018, 20:18, archived)

I've had a quiet and well behaved bank hol. Weather's been Phil Collins throughout.
Tempted to smash the knackers off it tonight though.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 27 May 2018, 20:26, archived)

The /talk link at the top seems to have reappeared.

(_Battered_, Sun 27 May 2018, 20:25, archived)

Shhh
tell no one
( Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Sun 27 May 2018, 20:28, archived)

Do you think we're entitled to compensation?
Just asking for a friend.
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 27 May 2018, 20:44, archived)

I can come round your house
and wave my dick in your face. If that helps?
( Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Sun 27 May 2018, 21:27, archived)

Can you bring drugs or booze while you're at it?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 27 May 2018, 21:30, archived)

You got cash then we're good.

( Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Sun 27 May 2018, 21:45, archived)

This seems more
like a Craigslist kind of affair.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 27 May 2018, 22:46, archived)

Lovely

( mongychops, Sun 27 May 2018, 20:54, archived)

alright m

( broadsword w⚓, Sun 27 May 2018, 20:35, archived)

Mate
( mongychops, Sun 27 May 2018, 20:54, archived)

Thank god! I've been going mad!

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 27 May 2018, 20:39, archived)

K

( mongychops, Sun 27 May 2018, 20:54, archived)

I think we all probably needed a bit of a break anyway

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 27 May 2018, 21:37, archived)

Ah ha!
It's back, I thought it might have been an excuse for a radical re-design.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 27 May 2018, 22:45, archived)

Heevening thread

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 23 May 2018, 19:54, archived)

*heeves*

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 23 May 2018, 19:59, archived)

:)
mobile.twitter.com/liamgallagher/status/999351739814948870
( mongychops, Wed 23 May 2018, 20:05, archived)

^ real-life Cheryl Kerl

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 23 May 2018, 20:31, archived)

If he were hardcore,
what is he now?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 23 May 2018, 20:45, archived)

78.media.tumblr.com/04009e4d841c0babd7095aee6c4e0283/tumblr_p93kzbIvdE1tki7xko1_1280.jpg
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 23 May 2018, 21:21, archived)

"Shut the front door, son of Tatum O’Neal, that’s dynamite," he remarked as he ejaculated.

( $$ ✅, Wed 23 May 2018, 21:30, archived)

pffft
( vladimir, Wed 23 May 2018, 21:48, archived)

This deer looks like Boy George.
ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/590/cpsprodpb/129C5/production/_101692267_stagone.jpg
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 23 May 2018, 21:46, archived)

boy george joan collins
( vladimir, Wed 23 May 2018, 21:50, archived)

^ can't imagine why rob wants to close the board, with bleeding edge referencers like us around

( vladimir, Wed 23 May 2018, 21:51, archived)

that's what she looks like when she's not had a snickers

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 23 May 2018, 21:52, archived)

don't we all

( vladimir, Wed 23 May 2018, 21:54, archived)

Was it manolith that looks a bit like the bloke in that advert?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 23 May 2018, 21:58, archived)

So it is

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 23 May 2018, 21:49, archived)

Back ?

( mongychops, Sun 27 May 2018, 20:00, archived)

Wanky wanky wank wank

( $$ ✅, Wed 23 May 2018, 11:22, archived)

yes?

(wankywankywankwank wankywankywankwank, Wed 23 May 2018, 11:57, archived)

no

( $$ ✅, Wed 23 May 2018, 12:06, archived)

:(

(wankywankywankwank wankywankywankwank, Wed 23 May 2018, 13:03, archived)

soz

( $$ ✅, Wed 23 May 2018, 13:04, archived)

oh fine, if you insist
i'm not turning the webcam on for less than £100 though
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 23 May 2018, 12:04, archived)

we could do it back to back

( $$ ✅, Wed 23 May 2018, 12:06, archived)

alright

( mongychops, Wed 23 May 2018, 12:14, archived)

hey

( $$ ✅, Wed 23 May 2018, 12:17, archived)

when are you comong to Krakow?
it's alright here
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 23 May 2018, 14:55, archived)

Sometime next month , I'll have to find out, she booked it all

( mongychops, Wed 23 May 2018, 15:04, archived)

Not been stepped today yet.
Mods must be asleep.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 23 May 2018, 12:26, archived)

they love you

( $$ ✅, Wed 23 May 2018, 12:36, archived)

My last week stepping was for "Making jokes about fingering Rob's kids, take a look at yourself man, for christ's sake"
I didn't make a joke about fingering Rob's kids, I just said that Rob fingers kids.
They're getting way too touchy now. And by 'touchy' I do mean in the Michael Jackson and Prince way.
See you next week if I'm not perma-banhammered for this.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 23 May 2018, 12:50, archived)

I got a day for saying Scary Duck was a **********************
Then a week for changing my username to one of the advertisers on the site.
(_Battered_, Wed 23 May 2018, 12:53, archived)

take care
stay safe
( $$ ✅, Wed 23 May 2018, 12:55, archived)

you have a picture of what i assume to be hitler next to your name
you're gonna get stepped for antisemitism
(hmmmm, Wed 23 May 2018, 13:01, archived)

The lady doth protest too much...

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 23 May 2018, 13:59, archived)

It's quality content like this that keeps Rob in cheap ham

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 23 May 2018, 12:40, archived)

oh go on then

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 23 May 2018, 12:51, archived)

fuck off you dirty cunt

( $$ ✅, Wed 23 May 2018, 12:53, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 23 May 2018, 6:09, archived)

morning
give us your best "your nan" jokes. it's where I'm at.
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 23 May 2018, 6:48, archived)

which member of your family makes the best chicken?
Nan does
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 23 May 2018, 6:51, archived)

Fucking hell.
Did you make that up?
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Wed 23 May 2018, 6:58, archived)

of course I did
That's the level of shitness you expect at this time of the day
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 23 May 2018, 7:01, archived)

Which fruit is the most prejudiced
against people's nans?

Bananas.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Wed 23 May 2018, 7:38, archived)

you criticised my joke, then offer us this?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 23 May 2018, 7:45, archived)

I didn't criticise your joke Grrry.
That was a legitimate expression of surprise and pleasure at your comedic ability and I'm hurt that you'd think it was anything else.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Wed 23 May 2018, 8:01, archived)

ban anus, more like

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 23 May 2018, 7:57, archived)

How would you shit?

(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Wed 23 May 2018, 8:19, archived)

it's exactly the level of competence I was asking for

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 23 May 2018, 7:38, archived)

I'm not normally awake yet, but today I am because I went for a 'nap' last night that turned into a full-on kip.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 23 May 2018, 8:02, archived)

as a parent, I do that once a week
I go to put the kid down and end up sleeping for 10 hours.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 23 May 2018, 8:26, archived)

morning
ignore the naysayers, i enjoyed that joke
(hmmmm, Wed 23 May 2018, 8:03, archived)

I've never even had a Nandos

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 23 May 2018, 8:27, archived)

me neither
i hear it's mediocre
(hmmmm, Wed 23 May 2018, 8:47, archived)

Horses?

(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Wed 23 May 2018, 9:39, archived)

He loves 'em.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 23 May 2018, 10:45, archived)

I'm reliably informed
that they're best of all the animals.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Wed 23 May 2018, 12:37, archived)

I'll just not bother

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 23 May 2018, 8:04, archived)

you never do, pull your finger out

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 23 May 2018, 8:27, archived)

Wait, Win Pug's a Mod now?
oh, man.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 23 May 2018, 10:52, archived)

Morning
Job centre today. Joy of joys.
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 23 May 2018, 8:12, archived)

maintain eye contact, assert dominance, hit them on the nose with a rolled up newspaper if you have to

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 23 May 2018, 8:28, archived)

Might as well, she's a fucking bulldog

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 23 May 2018, 8:37, archived)

Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.

( $$ ✅, Wed 23 May 2018, 8:14, archived)

Parklife!

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 23 May 2018, 8:23, archived)

urgh, I don't want happy clappy gaylords flocking around me like gurning pigeons

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 23 May 2018, 8:28, archived)

nah

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 23 May 2018, 9:02, archived)

nah, it's true, no lie

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 23 May 2018, 9:07, archived)

alright, I'm fucking off for the rest of the week
limited availability from now on.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 23 May 2018, 10:10, archived)

Yeah.
Right, Now I'm back from The Nawty Step again what goodness have I missed in the way of dramas? Kudos to The LOVELY Grrry for his Morning Threads.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 23 May 2018, 10:41, archived)

Also, why are we the only part of b3ta not on the top line now?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 23 May 2018, 10:45, archived)

alright

( mongychops, Tue 22 May 2018, 18:33, archived)

I got a /good/ freebie the other week; Mongo DB socks.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 22 May 2018, 18:39, archived)

Dunno what that is but cool spuds

( mongychops, Tue 22 May 2018, 18:47, archived)

yeh, u?

( $$ ✅, Tue 22 May 2018, 18:41, archived)

I'm cool

( mongychops, Tue 22 May 2018, 18:47, archived)

world cup soon

( $$ ✅, Tue 22 May 2018, 18:59, archived)

I love it, 3 matches a day

( mongychops, Tue 22 May 2018, 19:02, archived)

I'm gonna keep an eye on liveleak for any hooliganism videos
I want to see some Russian Ultras tearing up other firms
( $$ ✅, Tue 22 May 2018, 19:05, archived)

I think they have been offered police it or go jail before, that's just what I've read on forums

( mongychops, Tue 22 May 2018, 19:09, archived)

I hope we at least make the quarter finals

( $$ ✅, Tue 22 May 2018, 19:18, archived)

We should do

( mongychops, Tue 22 May 2018, 19:28, archived)

sweet as

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 19:24, archived)

Nice

( mongychops, Tue 22 May 2018, 19:26, archived)

Perfect

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 22 May 2018, 20:51, archived)

Sweet

( mongychops, Tue 22 May 2018, 21:25, archived)

Super cres

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 22 May 2018, 21:03, archived)

Probably get banned for posting that link now

( mongychops, Tue 22 May 2018, 21:25, archived)

Ssshuuushhh
youtu.be/S0gJZMx79pA
( mongychops, Tue 22 May 2018, 21:32, archived)

moots put some flashing rainbow on it for lulz as the current gimmick, spooky coincidence, I've not looked at b for years
boards.4chan.org/b/
( mongychops, Tue 22 May 2018, 21:36, archived)

yesyes I think so

( vladimir, Tue 22 May 2018, 21:04, archived)

Good times

( mongychops, Tue 22 May 2018, 21:26, archived)

I'm having a class evening, I am.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 22 May 2018, 22:42, archived)

Someone just sent me an ecard with a flash animation and awful backing music
What do you remember about Ye Olde Internette?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:15, archived)

Livejournal and gifting each other tiny jpgs of items to put on your profile
Oh yay I got a pint of guinness, thanks so much
( Theoban What of it, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:19, archived)

Downloading porn over dial-up.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:26, archived)

I've probably still got a folder on an old drive somewhere
of a load of badly compressed jpegs of nude girls who are now old enough to have their own grandkids.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:27, archived)

Somewhere, there's an iomega zip disk with my stash on it.
My dad would just leave things in the public "Downloads" folder, then blame me.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:31, archived)

Richards realm, the first porn hub

( mongychops, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:41, archived)

I remember that one
links to all sorts of weird galleries
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:44, archived)

McBeef?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:48, archived)

I used the hun

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 22 May 2018, 13:12, archived)

^ :)

(ozof, Tue 22 May 2018, 13:47, archived)

Not being allowed to use my real name on leisure district
As it has a rude word in it
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:30, archived)

Alright Derek Cunt

( Theoban What of it, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:31, archived)

It's probably hard finding a Samanthcunt key fob in most souvenier shops too

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:32, archived)

Loads of Bort ones though

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:35, archived)

Fanny?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:33, archived)

Arse

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:34, archived)

Stepharsenie

( Theoban What of it, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:35, archived)

Not exactly

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:36, archived)

No dissarsemble!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:37, archived)

I'm not Johnny 5 either

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:41, archived)

12 pARSEcs, like Hans Olo
lolo
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 22 May 2018, 13:25, archived)

ASL?
and Encarta 95
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:36, archived)

I asl'd a girl in a black metal room on Yahoo Chat back in the '90s
and we ended up meeting a few times.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:39, archived)

and she's here tonight!

( Theoban What of it, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:41, archived)

lol, a girl on the Internet!
Pull the other one.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:41, archived)

she was Dutch, they do things differently over there

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:44, archived)

"I have got a girlfriend, but she's from Holland, so you wouldn't know her."

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:46, archived)

when you fingered her,
she shit down your arm
( $$ ✅, Tue 22 May 2018, 11:37, archived)

Rachel Boeuff?

(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 22 May 2018, 12:16, archived)

white padded room more like

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:49, archived)

News groups

( mongychops, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:43, archived)

visiting a website and it was part of a 'ring' with links to all the other similar sites

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:45, archived)

🚨🚧🚧🚧THIS PAGE UNDER CONSTRUCTION🚧🚧🚧🚨
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:49, archived)

I've started looking at model train websites to get my dad's childhood set back together
and there are some brilliant animated gifs out there for exactly that purpose.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:55, archived)

Sky magazine used to run a regular column providing urls to where you could find stills from film and tv programmes of actresses' bare breasts

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:58, archived)

( . ) ( . )
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 22 May 2018, 10:59, archived)

Pls don't post any here or you will get a 24 hr ban

( mongychops, Tue 22 May 2018, 11:01, archived)

irc channels

(hmmmm, Tue 22 May 2018, 11:03, archived)

I put on my wizard robe and hat

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 11:06, archived)

through some of the shadier networks you could download porn and pirate stuff
and all the bots had messages saying 'you must declare if you are law enforcement'
such an innocent time
(hmmmm, Tue 22 May 2018, 11:20, archived)

oh yeah, lists of FTP links you could tunnel in to to download entire discographies of obscure bands
good toimes
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 11:39, archived)

Ken Griffey junior.
Yeeeeaah.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 22 May 2018, 12:17, archived)

proper old school trolling on newsgroups and internet relay chat

( $$ ✅, Tue 22 May 2018, 11:13, archived)

The good old days

( mongychops, Tue 22 May 2018, 11:14, archived)

dripping_blood.gif

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 22 May 2018, 11:52, archived)

'member threadrushes?
rather than one thread dragged out for an entire afternoon
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 13:17, archived)

Remember hitting F5 and seeing new replies?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 22 May 2018, 13:23, archived)

Not spending so much time on the naughty step
Just clicked "I am sorry" for the second time in the last couple of weeks. Reason: "change your username".
(_Battered_, Tue 22 May 2018, 13:24, archived)

lol gutted

( $$ ✅, Tue 22 May 2018, 13:25, archived)

I blame the Russians.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 22 May 2018, 13:27, archived)

Alright Rob is an Unfunny Centrist Cunt

( Theoban What of it, Tue 22 May 2018, 13:29, archived)

Ha. I was claiming to run a certain PR company.

(_Battered_, Tue 22 May 2018, 13:30, archived)

oh, I thought it was that kid who starred in High School Musical

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 13:35, archived)

couldn't you just sign in with your main account?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 May 2018, 13:41, archived)

No longer have access to the email address that one is associated with & had forgotten the password.

(_Battered_, Tue 22 May 2018, 13:44, archived)

Which one are you?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 22 May 2018, 13:45, archived)

Take a guess.

(_Battered_, Tue 22 May 2018, 14:06, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 5:23, archived)

evening
I just realized it's technically morning here
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 22 May 2018, 6:05, archived)

where are you for it to be evening?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 6:49, archived)

Morning.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 22 May 2018, 6:44, archived)

I find your capitalization and punctuation to be a bit passive-aggressive
which perfectly suits your new job
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 6:50, archived)

Last day in the old one, today.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 22 May 2018, 7:14, archived)

Did they get you a pen or some other ill-informed and pointless gift?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 7:19, archived)

Dunno, I'm not there, yet.
Probably find my desk covered in confetti, again - still finding little plastic 40s in my bag from January.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 22 May 2018, 7:36, archived)

*pouring out a little plastic 40 for my homies*
ie o
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 8:01, archived)

Oh, those guys! They're such cards
you'll have to go back and visit them
( $$ ✅, Tue 22 May 2018, 8:19, archived)

I simply must!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 22 May 2018, 9:00, archived)

Fair gumblin'.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 22 May 2018, 6:47, archived)

fuck is that supposed to mean?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 6:50, archived)

Just bringing a bit of regional diversity to the morning thread.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 22 May 2018, 6:53, archived)

well it can fuck off back to whatever damp impoverished coal-mining backwater it crawled out of

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 7:01, archived)

I think we can start the countdown.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 22 May 2018, 7:24, archived)

fuck off Europe

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 7:37, archived)

I wonder if Brexit will rekindle /talk.
Without access to all those foreign websites people might come back.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 22 May 2018, 7:48, archived)

I don't want to be fatalistic
but this is a dead site with an outmoded format, an unfriendly userbase, and no real content, governed by a single person whose vision of the site's future (and therefore the management thereof) is fickle and capricious. If someone's been pissed off enough to leave the site, I can't really think of anything that would draw them back other than addictive impulse.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 7:51, archived)

It needs live streaming on twitch to get the kids interested

( mongychops, Tue 22 May 2018, 8:10, archived)

Are you sure you don't want to be fatalistic?
Talk has started to feel a bit like the end of a party. Lights are back on, lots of people have left. Just a few hanging around hoovering up the last of the bier d'or that Keith bought from Tesco. People starting to tidy away the dips. Dreams, what are they...
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 22 May 2018, 8:18, archived)

Sorry, auto correct.
I meant, morning!
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 22 May 2018, 8:19, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 8:57, archived)

Morning.

(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 22 May 2018, 9:45, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 22 May 2018, 7:53, archived)

slright SM2
get that garage job?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 7:58, archived)

Not had a call back, so I'm assuming no

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 22 May 2018, 8:40, archived)

Don't assume
call them back and ask if there's any news.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 8:40, archived)

I'm off down that way today anyway
So I'll pop in
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 22 May 2018, 8:51, archived)

Holla

( mongychops, Tue 22 May 2018, 8:06, archived)

I ain't no hollaback girl

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 8:10, archived)

love

( $$ ✅, Tue 22 May 2018, 8:08, archived)

+put the kettle on,

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 8:11, archived)

morning
still got these accursed l plates it seems
(hmmmm, Tue 22 May 2018, 8:47, archived)

They disappear at 10am IIRC
unless you fed them after midnight.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 8:54, archived)

does gin count as food

(hmmmm, Tue 22 May 2018, 9:03, archived)

no

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 9:04, archived)

hi

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 May 2018, 9:06, archived)

alright tangles

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 22 May 2018, 9:08, archived)

my sick note runs out on Friday
luckily I'm on holiday next week
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 May 2018, 9:29, archived)

The air is doing that
warm, still thing. It gives everything this weird slightly trippy vibe.

I reckon it's this kind of atmosphere that makes people lose control and finally go loopy. Start howling in the middle of Tesco and have to be sectioned. Orange light at the end of the day as well. Definite trigger for latent schizophrenia. Or something.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 21 May 2018, 17:16, archived)

I think it's more likely to be the alcohol consumed.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 21 May 2018, 17:22, archived)

You know what I mean though?
There's a Stephen King story called Room 1408 that's a bit like it, but worse.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 21 May 2018, 20:12, archived)

I've seen the film of that and it was pretty enjoyable.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 21 May 2018, 20:39, archived)

I bet it's not as good as Maximum Overdrive.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 21 May 2018, 21:27, archived)

Worth it just for the soundtrack

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 21 May 2018, 21:41, archived)

Well, now, I haven't seen that so I couldn't rightly say.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 21 May 2018, 21:53, archived)

Do so as soon as possible

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 21 May 2018, 21:58, archived)

Current forecasts are saying that's going to be on Wednesday.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 21 May 2018, 22:02, archived)

3 films on the cinema I want to see this week and a couple of things expiring on mubi.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 21 May 2018, 22:28, archived)

What's on at the cinema?
I saw Deadpool 2 last night, for the lulz.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 21 May 2018, 22:39, archived)

Filmworker - Documentary about Leon Vitali, Kubrick's right-hand man.
New Town Utopia - Documentary about Basildon
Jeunne Femme - Some French film about some listless 30-something
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 21 May 2018, 23:41, archived)

I bet you go in tesco in jesus sandles with knee length white socks.

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 21 May 2018, 17:24, archived)

I do!
I mainly hang around the free from section talking about crohns disease. Or next to the avocados to let people know what they're doing to indigenous South American peoples.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 21 May 2018, 20:09, archived)

it's better than artificial light

( $$ ✅, Mon 21 May 2018, 17:30, archived)

Not according to Josef Fritzl

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 21 May 2018, 17:47, archived)

^edgier that U2's guitarist

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 21 May 2018, 21:55, archived)

^ electricians hate him

( mongychops, Mon 21 May 2018, 17:53, archived)

Do what I do, get pissed

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 21 May 2018, 21:40, archived)

I do kind of know what you mean, but that really kicks into overdrive about a month from now when there's a chance for it to get properly hot and it barely gets dark for more than a couple of hours.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 21 May 2018, 21:56, archived)

Definitely.
Summer evenings are crazy makers. Maybe that's what happened to the Son of Sam guy.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 21 May 2018, 22:55, archived)

I know exactly what you mean. I hope this helps.
( vladimir, Mon 21 May 2018, 22:07, archived)

Cheers m9
Like a trustworthy abacus I knew I could count on you.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 21 May 2018, 22:53, archived)

Aren't we all unbanned now?
Why is it so quiet?
Can mods gaz missing members (lol) the talk link so they know where to go?

Im having to do actual work here.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 21 May 2018, 15:37, archived)

This board was already on its last legs.
The banning of multiple active users has just hastened its otherwise slow death.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 21 May 2018, 15:42, archived)

have you considered upping your daily wank allowance?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 21 May 2018, 15:51, archived)

isn't 20 enough?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 21 May 2018, 16:06, archived)

if your spunk isn't tinged with the blood from your palms, it's not enough

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 21 May 2018, 16:09, archived)

I don't remember that part in the bible

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 21 May 2018, 16:51, archived)

it's in revelations

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 21 May 2018, 17:03, archived)

Yeah, I don't blame TH for not coming back,
And Mcbeef has some stuff on with court so.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 21 May 2018, 15:56, archived)

and he's on another foreign holiday
it's like he's pinched 2Can's schtick.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 21 May 2018, 16:47, archived)

When are we getting /talk back then?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 21 May 2018, 16:25, archived)

I'm afraid I'm still banned

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 May 2018, 16:41, archived)

I've got you on ignore, so that's fine xx

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 21 May 2018, 16:52, archived)

I can't stand seeing Woodo like this.
What has upset you today?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 21 May 2018, 11:41, archived)

My arms are a bit sore, Windy.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 21 May 2018, 11:50, archived)

I went for a haircut and just as I walked in three other blokes followed in quick succession
and they all stared at me while I was getting my hair cut like it was my fucking fault I got there first.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 21 May 2018, 11:53, archived)

Just got a bill for council tax
For some reason it's double what it was last year. That's pissed me right off.
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 21 May 2018, 11:55, archived)

well there are two of you now smashy : /

(ozof, Mon 21 May 2018, 14:41, archived)

no, only the one
the lodger was only part-time and within the limit of the rules and she's gone altogether now
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 21 May 2018, 14:45, archived)

i suppose that's exactly the sort of
dissociative response i deserved.
you have my sympathy
(ozof, Mon 21 May 2018, 15:04, archived)

i overslept a bit so didn't have time for a shower. i had a wash, but it's not the same.

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 21 May 2018, 11:58, archived)

make sure you flannel over your knob and bollocks

( $$ ✅, Mon 21 May 2018, 12:11, archived)

way ahead of you

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 21 May 2018, 12:15, archived)

nothing

( $$ ✅, Mon 21 May 2018, 12:11, archived)

Everything

( mongychops, Mon 21 May 2018, 12:20, archived)

Not particularly UPSET today
Can't be arsed though. May have got a little bit too tiddly on Saturday.
This was cemented by cracking open a bottle of gin at midnight when we got in.
Bilious. Too hot to sleep last night, rant rant rant.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 21 May 2018, 12:26, archived)

Northern fucking Rail

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 21 May 2018, 12:38, archived)

everything northern is terrible

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 21 May 2018, 13:55, archived)

can confirm

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 21 May 2018, 14:03, archived)

terrible better
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 21 May 2018, 14:13, archived)

t n
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 21 May 2018, 15:01, archived)

lol, betner

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 21 May 2018, 15:12, archived)

every goddamned time

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 21 May 2018, 15:33, archived)

going to the shop to buy some food and finding out it's closed because
it's a fucking holiday ...
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 21 May 2018, 12:52, archived)

i've become aware of a phenomenon known as telepathic rape
i would advise you not to crack one out to the crush
(hmmmm, Mon 21 May 2018, 13:19, archived)

Working on updates 2%
Don't turn off your PC. This will take a while.


Your PC will restart several times.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 May 2018, 13:23, archived)

I'll restart you in a minute

( $$ ✅, Mon 21 May 2018, 13:27, archived)

the restart button is up my bumhole

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 May 2018, 13:35, archived)

interesting

( $$ ✅, Mon 21 May 2018, 13:35, archived)

... and once we have finished updating, loads of stuff won;t work properly anymore...
YOU'RE WELCOME!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 21 May 2018, 13:48, archived)

Windows 10?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 21 May 2018, 14:11, archived)

How did you know?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 21 May 2018, 15:15, archived)

nooning CET
so what's with us breathing all the Earth's cum all day? huh? so much pollen and mushroom spores and whatnot's in the air.
reminds me of a destruction of wild cats, a memory of elephants, a crash of rhinoceroses, a wisdom of wombats, an unkindness of ravens, quivers of snakes and exhaltations of larks.

none of this is related to mid-day.
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 21 May 2018, 11:00, archived)

It's 11am you fucking stupid cunt.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 21 May 2018, 11:05, archived)

there's no progress if you're living in the past, meyt

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 21 May 2018, 11:07, archived)

aren't we all cells living on borrowed time?

( $$ ✅, Mon 21 May 2018, 11:07, archived)

indeed, that is true.
this begs the question: how much of you is YOU?! the vast majority of our bodies are made up of trillions of cells, some of which die each day and are replaced by new cells. but each of these cells and other organisms such as microbes as can be found in the intestines are not you. they are individual life forms. and we're not even going to mention mitochondria. practically, YOU are only the electric currents in your brain. but even the brain is not you.
I am depress
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 21 May 2018, 11:19, archived)

Alright, Trigger, got a new broom?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 21 May 2018, 11:21, archived)

all the human cells fill everything below the knee to the toe (one leg)

( $$ ✅, Mon 21 May 2018, 11:23, archived)

Existential uncertainty is a bugger

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 21 May 2018, 11:26, archived)

don't worry
be happy
(hmmmm, Mon 21 May 2018, 11:34, archived)

Incels, more like

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 21 May 2018, 11:20, archived)

I'm certainly not an involuntary celibate

( $$ ✅, Mon 21 May 2018, 11:22, archived)

there are too many male humans on Earth so the chances of "scoring" are reduced by a large margin.
it will be the scourge of China and India one day. "Asians" score "all the time" (generalisation) because there are so many of them. "white people", which are a genetic minority on this planet, are eventually going to become extinct. good riddance!
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 21 May 2018, 11:27, archived)

Oh noes, white genocide!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 21 May 2018, 11:32, archived)

this is why people don't let you start threads, woodo

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 21 May 2018, 11:23, archived)

I should get banned

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 21 May 2018, 11:30, archived)

Take an allergy tablet, you'll be sorted

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 21 May 2018, 11:25, archived)

I do not take pharmaceutical drugs of any kind, nor do I ever get sick.
I have pity with people that get allergies; can't eat bananas or nuts 'n stuff.
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 21 May 2018, 11:33, archived)

are you anti-pharma for religious reasons?
or just thick
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 21 May 2018, 11:38, archived)

I'm not allergic to bananas
I just want them wiped from the face of the earth
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 21 May 2018, 11:53, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 21 May 2018, 7:29, archived)

Don't reckon I'll bother if it's all the same to you.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 21 May 2018, 7:39, archived)

fine, be like that

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 21 May 2018, 7:41, archived)

www.nola.com/national_politics/2018/05/hitler_not_alive_on_the_moon_s.html
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 21 May 2018, 7:58, archived)

I don't believe it

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 21 May 2018, 8:00, archived)

I've had to start my day by breaking down the door to our lounge.
Not the greatest start to the week.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 21 May 2018, 7:54, archived)

child inside, or just a sticky lock?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 21 May 2018, 8:00, archived)

Sticky lock.
We don't ever shut it, on account of it being difficult to open, so we reckon one of the dogs must have pushed on it. Had them trapped in the lounge whilst I took a drill and crowbar to it.
Was an ugly door, anyway - had that wire-mesh reinforced glass in it.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 21 May 2018, 8:16, archived)

Wire mesh glass?
Do you live in a council bedsit?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 21 May 2018, 8:26, archived)

come on windy you know this, he's the ghost of a paedo
www.b3ta.com/talk/8146299
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:08, archived)

I forgot he was a ghost paedo

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 21 May 2018, 9:20, archived)

It's the rentaghost reboot nobody wanted.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:33, archived)

I bet you wish you smashed the back doors in!
lolololololololololololololololololol
( $$ ✅, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:16, archived)

Haha!
I don't get it.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:34, archived)

yeah you do
you pervert
( $$ ✅, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:45, archived)

The back doors are brand new.
Would have been gutted if I'd smashed those in.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:51, archived)

disgusting

( $$ ✅, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:57, archived)

Renovate it you weirdo Ghost paedo

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 21 May 2018, 9:20, archived)

Bit by bit.
I'll probably replace the door, this week.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:35, archived)

Morning.
The paper's still full of wedding shite and how good we are at carriages.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 21 May 2018, 8:05, archived)

electric E-Type Jag, what a fucking travesty

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 21 May 2018, 8:06, archived)

Colleague of mine owns an E-Type.
He bought it as an investment, so it never leaves his garage. He has described it as "horrible to drive", though.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 21 May 2018, 10:17, archived)

A family friend restored one. It was beautiful.
He said it's a pain to drive anywhere with junctions as it's mostly bonnet.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 21 May 2018, 10:21, archived)

'ning

(hmmmm, Mon 21 May 2018, 8:17, archived)

ho ho, it's friendly noob hmmm

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 21 May 2018, 8:27, archived)

whenever to do the learner plates go away

(hmmmm, Mon 21 May 2018, 8:40, archived)

Tomorrow

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:27, archived)

excellent
afterwards i hope to get stepped for something inane
(hmmmm, Mon 21 May 2018, 10:02, archived)

ahoy

( $$ ✅, Mon 21 May 2018, 8:32, archived)

greetings to our Czech friends

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 21 May 2018, 8:52, archived)

I'm afraid I don't have any door anecdotes to share

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:05, archived)

Just make something up to fit in

( mongychops, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:14, archived)

As an idiot teen I wondered what a Doored was
And why Ian Brown wanted to be one.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:14, archived)

I used to think the sisters of mercy were singing about a triple aardvark

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:25, archived)

haha misheard song lyrics are funny! rob should do a qotw on this

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:26, archived)

the only thing more depressing than the jokes
would be seeing the musical tastes of the site demographics
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:30, archived)

something about a door knob up your arse

( $$ ✅, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:16, archived)

I was cleaning it wearing only a dressing gown when I slipped

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:23, archived)

Caught a nipple on the living room door handle more than once
Hurts like fuck
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:29, archived)

Rip two hats knob

( mongychops, Mon 21 May 2018, 10:33, archived)

Morning
Feeling energetic today
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:25, archived)

and how does Energetic feel about that, a ha ha ha

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:31, archived)

Energetic doesn't get a say in it

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:51, archived)

I've got new jeans on and they're a bit tight IYKWIM

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:31, archived)

lol, fat

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:36, archived)

over the years jeans have got tighter and phones have got bigger so I've had to resort to carrying a manbag

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:37, archived)

I could do with a new manbag.
Saw a lovely one in the Osprey catalogue, but I really don't like the idea of blowing £150 on a glorified satchel.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:43, archived)

get one from an army surplus store

( $$ ✅, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:52, archived)

I'm not a greebo teenager, though.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 21 May 2018, 9:59, archived)

If it's in a bag that suggests you can't have it on vibrate, which suggests you have it on loud like some sort of restaurant ruining prick.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 21 May 2018, 10:27, archived)

I tend to miss most calls when it is in the bag, but occasionally I feel it vibrating
I have never used a ringtone on any mobile I have owned
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 May 2018, 10:47, archived)

except when I'm in restaurants obvs

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 May 2018, 10:48, archived)

I need to get some more. I'm down to my last pair that haven't got a hole in the back wallet pocket.
The change rubs a hole in it, see.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 21 May 2018, 10:24, archived)

I don't own a pair of jeans

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 21 May 2018, 10:26, archived)

afternoon

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 20 May 2018, 13:44, archived)

'noon, indeed.
I had a massive go at some kid for queue jumping, this morning. Annoyingly, I'm not really enjoying this moral victory.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 20 May 2018, 13:53, archived)

he's not going to forget and will come back and knife you

( $$ ✅, Sun 20 May 2018, 13:55, archived)

A less meek child would have openly laughed in your face.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 20 May 2018, 13:55, archived)

I'd would have slapped or spat on him

( $$ ✅, Sun 20 May 2018, 13:56, archived)

I reckon I'd have enjoyed slapping him even less than I enjoyed telling him off.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 20 May 2018, 14:03, archived)

I was talking about slapping you

( $$ ✅, Sun 20 May 2018, 14:04, archived)

Yeah, I know.
Just wondering if I'd have hit him back if he'd tried that - would have certainly cost me the moral high ground, if I had.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 20 May 2018, 14:06, archived)

And a conviction for assault on a minor

( mongychops, Sun 20 May 2018, 14:07, archived)

Exactly.
Mind you, I've never hit anyone - the few fights I've been involved in, I've just walked away from, so it's a safe bet that I probably wouldn't have clipped him one.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 20 May 2018, 14:08, archived)

I had a go at some girl for littering, a while back, and she did exactly that.
I phoned her school up and complained (it was a little after 9am, so she'd have been arriving late) which I'm quite sure achieved absolutely fuck all, but at least I felt slightly better for having made the effort.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 20 May 2018, 14:02, archived)

nark

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 20 May 2018, 14:16, archived)

Which side was I on when we had the nark/narc argument?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 20 May 2018, 14:23, archived)

the first one is british the second american

( $$ ✅, Sun 20 May 2018, 14:33, archived)

Two different things really too

( mongychops, Sun 20 May 2018, 14:43, archived)

Indeed, but that's no barrier to a pointless argument.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 20 May 2018, 14:53, archived)

How could you argue about a recognised British word and some yank shortening of narcotic for a narcotic officer ?

( mongychops, Sun 20 May 2018, 15:03, archived)

I can't remember how it went down,
but there's definitely been an argument about it on here. I think someone used "narc" when they should have used "nark", or vice versa.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 20 May 2018, 18:38, archived)

Short for 'narcotics agent', I think, so 'narc' would be more natural.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 20 May 2018, 15:47, archived)

Oh do shut up

( mongychops, Sun 20 May 2018, 16:01, archived)

Alright Grumpy McGrumpface.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 20 May 2018, 17:27, archived)

lol gutted

( $$ ✅, Sun 20 May 2018, 14:17, archived)

Watch and learn
youtu.be/LfoBpf1XH4g
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 20 May 2018, 15:06, archived)

Got bored before the halfway mark, sorry.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 20 May 2018, 15:59, archived)

I hope children continue to mock your 'have-a-go-hero' routine then.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 20 May 2018, 18:01, archived)

Who is this "limmy" bloke, anyway?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 20 May 2018, 18:39, archived)

my brother had a go at some kid for fighting with his girlfriend's daughter
unfortunately for him, he called her a n****r and now the police want to talk to him.
serves him fucking right.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 20 May 2018, 15:30, archived)

Lol, that'll learn him.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 20 May 2018, 15:48, archived)

Just checking we can still type nigger

( mongychops, Sun 20 May 2018, 15:48, archived)

it's not a word i even like to type

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 20 May 2018, 15:52, archived)

So if you just call someone that once, the police'll be after you?
Boyce must spend half his life at the police station.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 20 May 2018, 17:27, archived)

they were in this case because she told her mother
who then called the police and said she wants him done for assault of a minor and hate crimes
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 20 May 2018, 17:48, archived)

I guess if you're actually physically assaulting the person at the time, that's an aggravating circumstance.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 20 May 2018, 17:49, archived)

In London you will get arrested for calling someone a nigger straight away

( mongychops, Sun 20 May 2018, 18:02, archived)

Does that extend to other racial slurs as well? What about homophobic slurs?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 20 May 2018, 18:12, archived)

Most racial slurs yeah, calling someone a bent cunt, no I doubt it

( mongychops, Sun 20 May 2018, 18:34, archived)

he's a moron who can't control his temper
like most bullies, he's also a coward, so i'd love to see him getting punished for this
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 20 May 2018, 18:09, archived)

your brother sounds like a racist scumbag

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 20 May 2018, 19:01, archived)

Yeah, that's him

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 20 May 2018, 19:45, archived)

Nice afternoon in the pub garden

( mongychops, Sun 20 May 2018, 14:07, archived)

Good day for it.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 20 May 2018, 14:08, archived)

Yeah , can feed the boy too

( mongychops, Sun 20 May 2018, 14:29, archived)

Foooooooood.
Burger and a pint?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 20 May 2018, 15:03, archived)

He had a hunters chicken in a wrap , I had stella

( mongychops, Sun 20 May 2018, 15:07, archived)

when did people start calling it hunter's chicken?
i always remember it being chicken cacciatore
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 20 May 2018, 15:49, archived)

When they gave up making it properly and just stuck bbq sauce on it I reckon

( mongychops, Sun 20 May 2018, 16:04, archived)

so much for progress

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 20 May 2018, 16:18, archived)

Just got back from seeing If.... it's fantastic

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 20 May 2018, 18:02, archived)

Yo yo

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 20 May 2018, 19:01, archived)

Is it safe to put the telly back on now?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 19 May 2018, 22:51, archived)

he'
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 19 May 2018, 23:14, archived)

Yes
But avoid the BBC
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 20 May 2018, 9:58, archived)

This morning's top story appeared to be that they were still married.
Can't help thinking it'd only be newsworthy if they weren't.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 20 May 2018, 12:45, archived)

Since when has newsworthiness been a factor?
We got two years' worth of daily bulletins saying that the war was still going on in the Gulf.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 20 May 2018, 13:00, archived)

alright 'jean baudrillard'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 20 May 2018, 13:10, archived)

It's not a recession, it's an economic crisis.
Or something.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 20 May 2018, 13:13, archived)

"The country is at war until further notice"

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 20 May 2018, 13:10, archived)

Mmm, Victory Gin.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 20 May 2018, 13:13, archived)

And now I want gin

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 20 May 2018, 13:15, archived)

I rarely watch the news these days
It's either banal, depressing, biased or all three
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 20 May 2018, 13:14, archived)

evening

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 19 May 2018, 18:51, archived)

Alriggt grry, my lads playing fortnite, I'm too old to enjoy it

( mongychops, Sat 19 May 2018, 19:03, archived)

I can't get into these mass multiplayer games
it's just a pointless frenzy
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 19 May 2018, 19:11, archived)

I just get lost , then shot, I'm hoping black ops 4 team death match is better than the last one

( mongychops, Sat 19 May 2018, 19:17, archived)

I used to play Nexuiz.
I died, a lot.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 19 May 2018, 22:20, archived)

Get in.
It's Museum Night tonight. Going to an open-air film project in the grounds of a modern art museum at 22:00.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 19 May 2018, 19:03, archived)

I remember that sort of stuff from back when I was allowed to have a social life

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 19 May 2018, 19:12, archived)

Have you got a cat still?

( mongychops, Sat 19 May 2018, 19:45, archived)

yer, dopey little cunt

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 19 May 2018, 21:42, archived)

Yeh well I'm looking out the window right now
and it looks very much like it's about to start pissing down, so I ent going anywhere. Tonight will be vodka cocktails and gaming instead.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 19 May 2018, 20:25, archived)

afternoon

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 May 2018, 20:22, archived)

Evening
I'm watching the Martian
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 19 May 2018, 21:30, archived)

good book that

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 19 May 2018, 21:42, archived)

I'm currently rereading lord of the rings
But I'm all about telly today as I've given my brain a day off
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 19 May 2018, 22:14, archived)

Evil Lu is genuinely furious at me on FB for posting a screenshot of my phone on 1% battery.
Alt: alright.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sat 19 May 2018, 10:53, archived)

My brother posted some 2 PAC lyrics, I love these fb round ups

( mongychops, Sat 19 May 2018, 11:09, archived)

Just got a call about the local garage
They've got a help wanted sign up, so I'm off down there in a bit to try my luck
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 19 May 2018, 11:09, archived)

I'd forgotten she even existed
is she still a mental?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 19 May 2018, 11:34, archived)

I liked her.
Tell her to come back.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 19 May 2018, 11:44, archived)

I would, but I doubt it would work.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sat 19 May 2018, 19:43, archived)

I cycled into work yesterday and then went to a leaving do so cycled home pissed.
I've not done that since I was a teenager, made me feel young.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 19 May 2018, 14:37, archived)

Provide numerous screenshots of the charge gradually increasing, that should calm things down.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 May 2018, 20:10, archived)