Profile for flatfrog:
I'm sorry to say that this is me:
I can't draw and have no artistic ability of any kind. But I do make these:
Gazzed requests received with pleasure and acted on if I can!
The lovely Dekionplexis made me this mysterious scene. Of course, since then he's become Pikion Noixis, for which I can take the blame.
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I'm sorry to say that this is me:
I can't draw and have no artistic ability of any kind. But I do make these:
     |     |
Gazzed requests received with pleasure and acted on if I can!
The lovely Dekionplexis made me this mysterious scene. Of course, since then he's become Pikion Noixis, for which I can take the blame.
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» My sex misconceptions
Temperature control
Despite an impressive number of conquests, Mrs Flatfrog (in the days when she was just Mrs Flatfrog-to-be) had never appreciated the amazing sensitivity of the testes' temperature control mechanism. One day I happened to explain it to her and she became fascinated by the process.
The result: Half an hour lying on my back while she alternatively breathed warm air and blew cold air onto my scrunchy bits to watch them moving about. Followed by several days of having to resign myself to the knowledge that her entire circle of friends had been treated to a blow-by-blow account (if you'll pardon me).
(Sat 27th Sep 2008, 12:52, More)
Temperature control
Despite an impressive number of conquests, Mrs Flatfrog (in the days when she was just Mrs Flatfrog-to-be) had never appreciated the amazing sensitivity of the testes' temperature control mechanism. One day I happened to explain it to her and she became fascinated by the process.
The result: Half an hour lying on my back while she alternatively breathed warm air and blew cold air onto my scrunchy bits to watch them moving about. Followed by several days of having to resign myself to the knowledge that her entire circle of friends had been treated to a blow-by-blow account (if you'll pardon me).
(Sat 27th Sep 2008, 12:52, More)
» My sex misconceptions
My daughter uses 'the talk' as a way to avoid going to bed
I'm convinced of it - she's worked out that if she asks a leading question like 'doctors can always tell if it's a boy or a girl when it's born, can't they' while she's brushing her teeth, she gets a free twenty-minute bedtime pass, with diagrams.
We get a bit carried away with the lectures. I've explained X and Y chromosomes to her and everything.
(Thu 25th Sep 2008, 16:40, More)
My daughter uses 'the talk' as a way to avoid going to bed
I'm convinced of it - she's worked out that if she asks a leading question like 'doctors can always tell if it's a boy or a girl when it's born, can't they' while she's brushing her teeth, she gets a free twenty-minute bedtime pass, with diagrams.
We get a bit carried away with the lectures. I've explained X and Y chromosomes to her and everything.
(Thu 25th Sep 2008, 16:40, More)
» Puns
One more old one
A Native American chief was pleased to find out that three of his wives were pregnant and due to give birth about the same time. He consulted the wise man who said that to make his children strong, they should be born on the skins of powerful animals.
When the day came, the ground was prepared. A buffalo skin was laid out for the first wife, and a wolf skin for the second, but his favourite wife was presented with a valuable item all the way from Africa: the complete skin of a hippo.
After the three children, all boys, were born, they were ceremonially weighed, and the favourite wife's child weighed as much as the others put together, proving that the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws on the other two hides.
(Thu 5th Mar 2009, 23:10, More)
One more old one
A Native American chief was pleased to find out that three of his wives were pregnant and due to give birth about the same time. He consulted the wise man who said that to make his children strong, they should be born on the skins of powerful animals.
When the day came, the ground was prepared. A buffalo skin was laid out for the first wife, and a wolf skin for the second, but his favourite wife was presented with a valuable item all the way from Africa: the complete skin of a hippo.
After the three children, all boys, were born, they were ceremonially weighed, and the favourite wife's child weighed as much as the others put together, proving that the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws on the other two hides.
(Thu 5th Mar 2009, 23:10, More)
» School Days
Ogden the board game
(NB: some of these may have appeared in earlier qotws)
In my last couple of years at school, we started amusing ourselves by making up games based on words we found amusing. Most of them were fairly basic - for example 'Beep vs Bong', a game for two players where one person says nothing but 'Beep' and the other says nothing but 'Bong', and the first to get bored is the loser. I played one game for over four hours.
But the crown of it all was 'Ogden the board game'. This was a monopoly-type game where you went round the board collecting 'thrungs' by completing tasks of one kind or another. These varied from the reasonably sensible ('tell a joke that *dull teacher* would find amusing') to the really quite fun ('in mime, be attacked by a household appliance'). The hardest task of all, though, was worth a million Thrungs and so well worth trying to win. When it came up, we would put in a great deal of effort, but no one ever succeeded. And that's why one day a teacher came into my room to find me straining to 'Turn into Barry Manilow'.
(Wed 4th Feb 2009, 12:49, More)
Ogden the board game
(NB: some of these may have appeared in earlier qotws)
In my last couple of years at school, we started amusing ourselves by making up games based on words we found amusing. Most of them were fairly basic - for example 'Beep vs Bong', a game for two players where one person says nothing but 'Beep' and the other says nothing but 'Bong', and the first to get bored is the loser. I played one game for over four hours.
But the crown of it all was 'Ogden the board game'. This was a monopoly-type game where you went round the board collecting 'thrungs' by completing tasks of one kind or another. These varied from the reasonably sensible ('tell a joke that *dull teacher* would find amusing') to the really quite fun ('in mime, be attacked by a household appliance'). The hardest task of all, though, was worth a million Thrungs and so well worth trying to win. When it came up, we would put in a great deal of effort, but no one ever succeeded. And that's why one day a teacher came into my room to find me straining to 'Turn into Barry Manilow'.
(Wed 4th Feb 2009, 12:49, More)