Conspiracy theories were invented by cads.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 9:50, 5 replies)

I visited a squat recently - they had a sign on the door saying, "phone this number to come in."
I figured why not? Might be interesting to have a look around.

There were 4 people in there - most of them basically OK, a couple of trustafarian girls, some guy who'd lost his job in IT and had a bit of a breakdown then there was the leader.

He quizzed me on how to stop the authorities reading his email - we talked a bit about Tor and VPN and then he told me his theory on what was going on.

Poleshifts. The north pole becoming the south pole and the south the north. This will cause massive climate change - and the current climate issues are wobbles building up to the biggy. The authorities know this is going to happen and are preparing for it. They've buried silos of seed underground, and the current creeping fascist state is there to lockdown the populace in preparation.

The authorities aren't necessarily evil - they are possibly doing what they think is best for the survival of humanity as a whole but in the chaos it's likely most of the population will be killed. Food shortages.

He advised the best thing is to get some land where you can support yourself and also in an area where the Earth crust was thick - like Africa.

I bumped into this guy again recently and he said hello. I literally ran away. OMG MY CHILDREN ARE RUNNING INTO THE ROAD SORRY.
( rob, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 9:43, 14 replies)

the 'Great Fire of B3ta'
was no accident.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Richard Dawkins is a secret Christian
There is a hidden message in his book "The God Delusion". By quoting carefully selected words out of context in the correct order, he can demonstrably seen to be saying things like:
"I... believe... in... God";
"I... love... Jesus";
"I... want... to... go... to... Heaven";
"Give... me... more... of... that... communion wine".

It's all there in black and white.
( P-MONKE We're all fucked, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 9:37, 5 replies)

The channel tunnel was designed to cause a massive tidal wave and put London underwater
I knew a bloke who was part of a group called "Tumi" who believed (this was back in the early 1990s) that when the channel tunnel was complete, it would cause a massive shockwave up the length of Britain that would split the country in two and cause tidal waves that would put all low-lying places underwater. So London and Cornwall would be fucked, but Lancashire and Scotland would be OK.

He reckoned that the "44 thousand souls of Tumi" would be saved. I asked him why he lived in Lincolnshire and he replied smugly that he was one of the souls.

He came across as very straight-laced in all other respects.
(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 9:27, 5 replies)

Can anybody please explain the thing about the goat with big tits and the lizard people to me?
Apparently there's this evil-looking goat with huge breasts, who controls a race of space lizards who are intent on taking over the world and driving out love and compassion. They do it by disguising themselves as people and rising to positions of power (Tony Blair was one and Michael Portillo, I believe.)

I don't know any more than that. Can anybody clarify?
(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 9:23, 8 replies)

Zeitgeist: The Movie
The stuff this covers and the way it's done is very convincing, I watched it saying 'ohhhh yeahhhh...' so many times, its very well made. I still don't know if any of it is true or not. I'd like to think that it is.

I. Just. Don't. Know. Anymore...

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zeitgeist:_The_Movie
( Ya What Skiddlyboop, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 8:57, 4 replies)

Not on conspiracy theory, more a tale.....
I used to work at one of the “did you have an accident at work” cuntpanies. It was horrible. We were working on the day 9/11 happened. There was around 250 of us advisors on the floor, a mixture of skin tones and accents. Anyway as soon as the planes hit the towers rumour flew round t'internet via email and filtered through the office. As soon as one of the managers read one of the rumour emails he took all the Asian employees to one side and told them not to been seen laughing or smiling as it may cause offence on the floor! To this day I have never been privy to such an amazing piece of racist stupidity ever again.
( The only Dave is pushing things forward, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 8:33, 2 replies)

Lets Keep it Jewish.......
An idea now gaining credence is that there was to be a second Holocaust - this time courtesy of Stalin.

Over the centuries Russia was certainly no stranger to anti-Jewish pogroms, and allegedly Uncle Joe's next big 'thing' after the defeat of the Germany was to be a pogrom of larger size than that perpetrated as the Nazi's Final Solution.

Reports began appearing in Pravda from 1951 and gained momentum in 1952 about acts of 'sabotage', 'wrecking', and 'crimes against the people' by doctors, the majority of whom had Jewish surnames.
Using this as evidence of a larger Anti-Soviet Jewish conspiracy, it is believed that sometime in 1953 or 1954 Stalin would have begun a purge of Jewish doctors and academics, as a prelude to a much larger general anti-Jewish purge.
The estimates of likely deaths was between 6 to 8 million.*

Fortunately for Russia's Jews, the old bastard died in early 1953 and virtually all reports about the activities of Jewish doctors vanished from Pravda within a few days of his death.


*The final figure was to include mostly Jews, but would encompass anyone else the regime could use the opportunity to be rid of.
(Sebulba continues to fight evil with evil....., Fri 2 Dec 2011, 7:07, 7 replies)

The Protocols of the Elders of Zion is a forgery
designed to make old Jewish men look like dangerous badasses.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 6:32, Reply)

Crop circles
Not so much a conspiracy theory, just a cool idea that relates to crop circles.
A friend of mine believes that crop cirlces, or crop 'Events'as he likes to call them, are tell-tale signs caused by an interdimensional worm type being that is travelling through the multiverse and leaves its mark on each bubble/layer of the multiverse, similar to a book worm eating its way through the closed pages of a book.
No reference, no facts, but I just love the idea of interdimensional worms eating their way through our universe.
(technocore, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 3:52, 1 reply)

THE BEATLES WERE SATANISTS!
It's all here, my friends in Christ.

Selected highlights:

The Beatles deceitfully came to America as decent looking young men, but then led a generation of America's youth to become hippies, drug addicts, rebels, sexual degenerates and God-haters.

Photo to left: Most people recognize the Satanic hand sign which John Lennon is making at the bottom right; but, few people realize that the "ok" sign which Paul McCartney is making at the bottom left is also very Satanic. The "ok" sign is actually three 6's, each of the three vertical fingers forming an individual 6. 666

Paul McCartney's fondling of a Ram on his 1971 album cover clearly shows his loyalty and allegiance to the Prince of Darkness, Satan. Still not convinced? In 1967, The Rolling Stones produced an album titled, Their Satanic Majesties Request. They also produced a blasphemous song titled, Sympathy For The Devil. How much clearer could it be that Rock 'N' roll music is of the Devil? The ram, goat, and pentagram are revered by Satanists and occultists because they are representative of the Devil

The Beatles are no friends to America. Behind the music lurks the heathen lyrics of Communists, sexual degenerates, God-haters, druggies and a New Age mentality. The Word of God is diametrically opposed to Rock 'N' Roll.


LET US PRAY FOR THEM.
(McChinaman banned, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 3:34, 6 replies)

Ultrasonic beams are used to harrass people in their homes.
It is done by the government to ensure that undesirables take medication. If you don't beleive me look here:
www.hiddenmysteries.org/mind/exposed/ex011705c.html
It goes on forever explaining all their tricks!
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 2:38, 3 replies)

The Daily Fail is a far left wing conspiracy
Think about it.
You want to make anyone vaguely right-wing look bad. Problem is, there are plenty of centre-right and below with perfectly sane, validly held (not necessarily right, but with a good spread of facts to back them up) and at least half researched views. For example, disliking the European union, or wanting travellers to obey the same laws as everyone else. Not a great starting point if your ultimate aim is a comparison with Hitler that rings true.
So, you prey on those who usually hold such views, combined with rose tinted specs about the good old days-i.e. older, middle class people. Lots of offers for spa breaks, golf, petunias etc, and some nice tales about the war.
You then latch on to any issue of the day, and put an increasingly exaggerated view on it. EU proving to be a beurocratic mess? It's all them foreigners innit! Euro floundering? Germany's starting a fourth reich! Remember, only ever refute straw man arguements that you made up from the other side.
Chuck in a few columnists who prey on vague feelings of uneasiness. For example, gays-a ot of your readers grew up when being gay was illegal. A lot will be flat out predjudiced, but what about the unsure ones? why, run a column about ruined families, the seedy lifestyle, and push anyone on the fence well into lynching territory! While you're at it, pop it all online with lots of ads so younger people can go "Urr, look at these rabid fascists", while you rake in the money.
Now, anyone who disagrees with you is just one of those fascist daily fail readers. Sorted.
( Greenbat, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 23:58, 1 reply)

Dihydrogen Monoxide... the truth should be told!
www.dhmo.org/
( notoolsovernight you're all luvvly an' 'orrible, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 23:47, 4 replies)

"Jet fuel can't melt steel"
Oh really? Well I guess I'd better stop using this heating oil-powered forge, then. Funny, it seemed to work just as well on Jet A-1 as it did on domestic heating oil. It's all just paraffin anyway.
(gordonjcp, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 23:10, 3 replies)

My Yank neighbour ...
is busy working in his vegetable garden.
I suspect it's some kind of American plot.
(Mr Gronk, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 22:52, 2 replies)

"Hidden lyric in popular song" shocker!
In the song 'Rule the World' written by Take That for the Film Stardust, they've hidden the name of the main character in the lyrics; Where they sing "If angels cry" they've made it sounds a bit like "Yvaine", the character played by Clare Danes.

Everyone I've told about this says I'm right but the Government just don't want to know, no matter how many times I write to Points of View, even if I use my best handwriting.

Why oh why isn't anyone doing anything about this???

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KII1ruAfvsg - 1:30 in
(scruffygit has an enormous clock -, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 22:43, 4 replies)

I may have mentioned this before in another context
But during the Autumn/Winter of 2000/1 a handful of hitherto unknown organisations in Northern England were buying as much combustible hard and soft wood - eg Railway Sleepers - as they could, to the extent that very silly money was changing hands.

Leases were also being agreed on remote sites unsuitable for agriculture.

But it wasn't until February 2001 that the UK Foot and Mouth outbreak was officially announced, and all this material and the sites suddenly came in handy for livestock burning.

I don't think this was predicted in The Sun by Mystic Meg, but someone rather presciently foresaw the requirement for a mass disposal of livestock. Oddly the buyers were never seen again.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 22:36, 1 reply)

Myra Hindley Ain't dead.
1) No autopsy report
2) Died in jail but no coroner's inquest
3) Anyone who could've got a pic of her corpse (with even a crappy phone-cam) could've easily sold it to the Sun for enough money to never have to work again.

Nope. She's had plastic surgery courtesy of the taxpayer and is 'living it up' in Australia.
(scruffygit has an enormous clock -, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 22:30, 9 replies)

The British occupation of the north east of Ireland is a democratic method of keeping peace.
For fuck's sake.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 22:25, 5 replies)

Nate Mendel, AIDS denier.
motherjones.com/politics/2000/02/foo-fighters-hiv-deniers
Cool, he's got the same birthday as me!
Sadly this is what makes the whole thing so fucked up!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 1 Dec 2011, 22:17, Reply)

I almost bought this when I saw it in Blackwell's,
because my history book shelf is still sadly lacking in Chinese history. The blurb on the back of the book made some quite extraordinary claims, but plenty of good history has taken me by surprise before. I'm glad I read about it elsewhere first.

www.amazon.co.uk/1421-Year-China-Discovered-World/dp/0553815229/
To save you having to click, it's about some Chinese explorer discovering the Americas before Columbus, and Australia as well.

I was saved from potential future embarrassment by this:
www.amazon.co.uk/Invented-Knowledge-History-Science-Pseudo-religions/dp/1861894309/

The moral of the story is: always check the credentials of any author before you read a purportedly factual book - often history books are quite overtly crackpot, but some of these crackpots are quite clever. The most disturbing thing about this one is that it turns up on shop shelves alongside proper academic textbooks.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 22:10, 2 replies)

Gravity's a myth.
The earth sucks.
(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Thu 1 Dec 2011, 21:46, 1 reply)

Liquidised fruit...
... gives me a nasty tummy ache.
This is obviously the work of the Juice.
(Mr Gronk, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 21:36, Reply)

My dad
thinks that rocks have memories. Really.

He thinks they record information by listening to conversations and such.

He said he read it in a book. I would love to believe him.
(Eyes&Tees Could have, Would have, Should have on, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 21:08, 9 replies)

The Georgia Guidestones
www.thegeorgiaguidestones.com/Message.htm

www.wired.com/science/discoveries/magazine/17-05/ff_guidestones

for those who canna be arsed cliking the links the TL:DR version is.

Carved stones in America, setting out guidlines for peace love and harmony. Or Instructions for a New World Order.
(Gru being trolled since 1998, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 21:07, Reply)

Saw one today actually.
On BBC news for facebook they are preaching about world AIDS day and some nut on there is saying how the American military filed a patent for a cure for AIDS and cancer back for the 80's.
(Beaverman Opulence, I has it., Thu 1 Dec 2011, 20:16, 3 replies)

The real Michael Jackson conspiracy
- Daddy Joe had Mikey neutered when he was eleven so he would retain those treble pipes and the cutesy face. The pipes stayed but the face didn't. All the surgery was to cover up the gross eunuch features.
- It is a well known fact that the airport scanners would go crazy from the ball bearings in his ball sack. The wanking that went on in the Thriller video was just him adjusting the magnetic codpiece.
- The playtimes with the little boys were just 'show me yours and I'll show you mine and we'll see who's bigger.' He usually lost.
- Mikey's kids? Now who could possibly believe he had any genetic input?
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 20:14, 2 replies)

Hitler did not die in the bunker in Berlin in 1945
But escaped to Argentina, with Mrs. H (Eva Braun) and eventually died there in 1962.
www.amazon.co.uk/Grey-Wolf-Escape-Adolf-Hitler/dp/1402781393/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1322769279&sr=1-1
Make of it what you will! I do not say I believe it but it is an intriguing idea.
(Mackeson_drinker, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 19:58, Reply)