I am so Hulled for this.
It's the Christian way:


From the Sick Christmas Cards challenge. See all 300 entries (closed)

( MarkyH feels like the H in Bob Hoskins' name, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:24, archived)

let me guess, he does stand up at 'The Embassy Club' for the other 364 days....
:-)
( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:24, archived)

hoho
I'm not saying my mother-in-law's fat, but...

EDIT: she gets taller when she lies down.
( the RAND corporation - thats Hitlertainment..., Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:28, archived)

...She has two postcodes

( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:28, archived)

...when she jumps in the air
she gets stuck
( mictoboy, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:29, archived)

...when she was at school,
she sat next to everybody
( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:30, archived)

...when you cut her
she bleeds gravy
( mictoboy, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:32, archived)

...they use her as a decoy for a whaling fleet

( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:32, archived)

her class photo
was an aerial shot
( urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:33, archived)

hahaha
yes
( mictoboy, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:33, archived)

... small objects orbit her

( mictoboy, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:33, archived)

...other slightly less fat women orbit her

( urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:33, archived)

..when i swerved to avoid her
i ran out of petrol
( mictoboy, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:35, archived)

....she has a tattoo that reads
"Danger To Shipping"
( Koba Swim across the Volga and get my kite back Dmitry, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:37, archived)

...when she caught a flesh-eating virus
it died of overeating
( mictoboy, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:39, archived)

She doesn't have stretch marks, she has an Equator

( The Great Architect, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:39, archived)

...when she asks how her shoes look
she has to take your word for it
( Koba Swim across the Volga and get my kite back Dmitry, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:41, archived)

...she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth

( mictoboy, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:42, archived)

...she thinks desert is a food group

( Koba Swim across the Volga and get my kite back Dmitry, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:44, archived)

She wears a three piece thong
made of polyester-cryllic, rip stop nylon.
( monkdagola is going to rapekiss you, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:47, archived)

Her cereal bowl
comes with a lifeguard
( Drunken Vet, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:57, archived)

She uses sleeping bags
for legwarmers
( monkdagola is going to rapekiss you, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:59, archived)

..when she hauls ass
it takes two trips
( mictoboy, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:41, archived)

...Her autobiography is a shopping list

( Koba Swim across the Volga and get my kite back Dmitry, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:33, archived)

...she's on BOTH sides of your family

( mictoboy, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:37, archived)

....when she goes to the beach
only she gets a tan
( Koba Swim across the Volga and get my kite back Dmitry, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:38, archived)

when she bought a waterbed
they just put a sheet over the ocean
( mictoboy, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:40, archived)

...her uterus has prolapsed so far
she uses her socks as pantyliners
( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:33, archived)

*awards the dave the hats 'innapropriate comment' certificate*

( mictoboy, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:34, archived)

Nooonoonoo that's Mr. J Peasmold Gruntfuttock
and thankya :P
( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:35, archived)

oops :)

( mictoboy, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:39, archived)

when she bends over
she's still upright?
( Koba Swim across the Volga and get my kite back Dmitry, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:30, archived)

hahahahahaha *snort*

( urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:34, archived)

happy holidays!
/hides from bill-o'reilly-philes
( Agent Muu b3ta.com/board/9745928 <- b3taday festivities!, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:26, archived)

OMG WAR ON CHRISTMAS!!!!!!
Stop trying to promote secularism in a country founded on secularity you commie!
( Koba Swim across the Volga and get my kite back Dmitry, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:28, archived)

Ity's not "Christmas" silly Santas
It's "Yueltide" (or equivalent) and he's a pagan symbol.

Well....walking cola advert these days.
(TwistedLucidity is a forgetful turd, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:28, archived)

partly that,
partly this guy

christianity tends to absorb pagan demigods and festivities
"if you can't beat them..."
( pzyko is a whaler on the moon and carries a harpoon, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:43, archived)

.......
...............................would
( Koba Swim across the Volga and get my kite back Dmitry, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:45, archived)

nice try
www.snopes.com/cokelore/santa.asp
( urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:47, archived)

you're both right
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yuletide#Connection_to_modern_Christmas
( pzyko is a whaler on the moon and carries a harpoon, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:58, archived)

lol
where did you just get those graphics from
woo all the way
(MarkP0rter http://markp0rter.deviantart.com, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 22:06, archived)

That's not funny; it's just anti-semetic.
You're a cunt. Kindly fuck off and die in a hole.

That is all.
( Albert the Mildly Deranged purveyors of nothing much since a year or two ago, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 22:35, archived)

and what, pray tell,
is the difference between making fun of jews and making fun of everyting else?
( pzyko is a whaler on the moon and carries a harpoon, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 22:41, archived)

The difference here
is that there isn't a joke.

I'll laugh at a Jew joke if it's funny, but like I said, this isn't. It's just antisemetic.
( Albert the Mildly Deranged purveyors of nothing much since a year or two ago, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 22:44, archived)

You're offended....
... that means I win.
( MarkyH feels like the H in Bob Hoskins' name, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 22:48, archived)

i have a question:
please don't be offended, i'm serious

wold you complain in the same way about a similar picture which insults christianity or islam?
( pzyko is a whaler on the moon and carries a harpoon, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 22:51, archived)

It's quite funny
And it's "anti-semitic", unless it somehow offends the "semete" peoples.
(Fudge Monkey never did, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 22:42, archived)

semetes..?
surely you mean semetis
(Hugh.G.Wreckshon Oh Yes it IS....!!, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 23:09, archived)

( MarkyH feels like the H in Bob Hoskins' name, Thu 14 Dec 2006, 22:44, archived)