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# Tea, brie, BASTWANK! *glee*
(I helped save b3ta! We are the lemon irked your craw on, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:15, archived)
# Squad! Present rich tea biscuits! Ready, Aim Dunk!
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:16, archived)
# Your post needs 200% more bastwank
(I helped save b3ta! davew27 hevosen kuva!, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:17, archived)
# hahahaha
Edit: This shall be part two.
(I helped save b3ta! We are the lemon irked your craw on, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:17, archived)
# Rich Tea biscuits are good for nothing
But dunking
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:17, archived)
# rich tea are not good for dunking
they're only good so you don't have to give unwanted guests good biscuits
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:20, archived)
# They're not great, granted
But they're better dunked than dry. Digestives are good apart from they fall apart and fill your tea with sludge.
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:21, archived)
# rich tea!?
you wouldn't last 5 minutes!
obviously a job for teh Hob Nob!
(I helped save b3ta! The King of Hats Cone of shame, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:17, archived)
# ^This
He knows his dunkabilities this boy
(I helped save b3ta! NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:18, archived)
# Custard Creams
(I helped save b3ta! Puromycin is still licking windows, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:19, archived)
# yay
custard creams are the kings of the dunking world.
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:23, archived)
# i like the orange ones
but i am mainly addicted to Smarties Cookies
(I helped save b3ta! The King of Hats Cone of shame, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:27, archived)
# rich tea are the first line of defence
cannon fodder first, then bring in the big guns like the Hob Nobs
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:20, archived)
# People rarely bastwank in the morning
(I helped save b3ta! davew27 hevosen kuva!, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:16, archived)
# what's a bastwank when its a home?
(I helped save b3ta! Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:17, archived)
# ^this^
there shall be explanations


er, please
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:19, archived)
# It all started long ago,
Yesterday, on www.acrowars.com/b3ta, someone used the word 'bastwank' in an acronym, I repeated it, and it spread

No one can remember who invented it*, so I own it now

*Hopefully

Edit: I have the whole chat log of the game since before bastwank, so I can prove I was the first person to repeat it
(I helped save b3ta! davew27 hevosen kuva!, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:21, archived)
# aha
I must have joined too late for that
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:31, archived)
# Jameson you bastard!
Jaaaaaaammmmmeeeeessssoooooooonnnnnnn....
(I helped save b3ta! Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:17, archived)
# you are so odd!
clickity click click!
(phys! The Horror! The Horror!, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:17, archived)
# don't dunk till you see the whites of their eyes!
(I helped save b3ta! The King of Hats Cone of shame, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:18, archived)
# Bastwank! noooooooooo!
(I helped save b3ta! Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:18, archived)
# BASTWANKbAsTwAnK! BAST...........
........wank
(I helped save b3ta! We are the lemon irked your craw on, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:20, archived)
# Jameson you heartless cad!
Woo!
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:18, archived)
# Run Jameson!
Save yourself!
(I helped save b3ta! NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:19, archived)
# I like the sound of bastwank
can you tell me more?
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:19, archived)
# Would you like the real bastwank or the media cover-up version?
(I helped save b3ta! We are the lemon irked your craw on, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:21, archived)
# I'd like a mixed bag
comprising some of each please.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:25, archived)
# Well one day
King Charles IV was playing a game of Acrowars. All was going fine and he had amassed a grand score of 9billion, 2 less than his closest rival the Sherif of Nottingham.

Needing to win the next round by 2 more than the Sherif so as to become top acro-er Charles next acro had to be fucking top notch.

But Alas! Charles was struck down by the acro-ers worst enemy: Mindbastardry, the inability to complete the most excellent of acros by one word.

In this case the last letter was B. Charles wrestled with the cursed letter until the timer showed 3 seconds to go!

Rather than forfit the round by not entering an acro, Charles melged a mighty broam-wrench upon his keyboard, splitting it asunder but also creating the godly word BASTWANK and hitting enter with just .00345 seconds left.

The fabled acro has now been lost to time except the last and greatest word in it. The power of the BASTWANK was so great that Charles won the round by infinity points and also reducing the score of the Sherif to minus 90 eggs.

Today, BASTWANK lives on in the minds of few, and is often reviled and feared for its power both on and off the Acrowars pitch.
(I helped save b3ta! We are the lemon irked your craw on, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:43, archived)
# Quickly!
Broam them! Broam them hard!
(I helped save b3ta! Doctor When May your wife shat and chipper, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:19, archived)
# needs more brie!
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:20, archived)
# genie arse
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:20, archived)
# Lawks!

But is it such a bad thing?
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:25, archived)