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[challenge entry] not that good either....

From the Ronseal Plots challenge. See all 737 entries (closed)

(FloydPink has a full robot chubby..., Fri 30 May 2008, 12:07, archived)
# dunt geddit....
(fuckchutney is wanking in your hair, nnngh nnngggh NNNGGGHGHGH, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:08, archived)
# Baise-Moi, its a film about rape. Or something.
(I helped save b3ta! WHTRZ Corp dosen't like the sound of Rupert watching porn, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:17, archived)
# I lament that porn is so easily available these days
Nothing can compare to the simple innocent thrill of finding a discarded "Whitehouse" behind a garage in the '70s.
(Super Jet Shoes, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:09, archived)
# mary?
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:10, archived)
# I agree
We have all become so de-sensitised that unless it is full-on Donkey / Midget anal fisting, it just won't cut the mustard any more.
(Tom Jones's Mojo Hasn't had any since, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:11, archived)
# very much this
mary millington ftw
(I helped save b3ta! god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:12, archived)
# aaww... she was lovely
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:17, archived)
# I have this conversation regularly
Kids nowadays don't have to cope with the shame of sheepishly going up to the counter of the village newsagents with a copy of some shit (not even hardcore) ladymag, knowing fine well that the cunt behind the counter will tell your mum next time she comes in.

They just fire onto the internetmachine and look at naked dwarves, horses and shemales like it's all normal.

They don't know they're fucking born
(I helped save b3ta! wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:13, archived)
# Or the joy of wanking off
to a slightly seethrough bra and knicker set in the underwear section of the Freemans catalogue. IS THAT PUBIC HAIR??? AND NIPPLES???? Oh yes.

*fwaps*
(I helped save b3ta! wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:14, archived)
# hahah
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:15, archived)
# or the picture accompanying an article on breast cancer in Woman's Own
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:15, archived)
# ha ha!
(I helped save b3ta! wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:19, archived)
# fucking born - a new direction perhaps?
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 30 May 2008, 12:14, archived)
# not as good as born fucking
(I helped save b3ta! WHTRZ Corp dosen't like the sound of Rupert watching porn, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:22, archived)
# Well I suppose TECHNICALLY speaking...
when a boy is born his willy is touching...

*goes to the very dark place*

*locks self in cupboard*

*cries self to sleep*
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 30 May 2008, 12:41, archived)
# can you cry me to sleep too? ta muchly
(I helped save b3ta! WHTRZ Corp dosen't like the sound of Rupert watching porn, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:45, archived)
# hahaha!
the last time i purchased such a publication, it was a gift honest,the guy serving wasn't 18 and had to call the young female manager to serve me, oh the shame.
(I helped save b3ta! god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:17, archived)
# ouch
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:20, archived)
# last time i went through a porn stage
I got a magazine and the fine upstanding bloke at the counter whispered "you want veedyos? triple?" I said no, due to the queue forming around me. I certainly didn't go back at a later date when it was quiet and get taken into the back room where he had hundreds of pirated pornos, oh no. Certainly not more than twice.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:22, archived)
# i must admit it amazes me that there is still so much of it about
what with the ease at which anyone can download the stuff. at least the prices are dropping through the floor.
(I helped save b3ta! god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:27, archived)
# Or avidly checking the tv times for any 18 films that may be showing in the following week
Then sitting up late, cock in hand straining to make out the picture on a grainy 12" (fnar) black and white portable, waiting for a glimpse of nipple or muff , that, nine times out of ten never even fucking came.

You're all fucking spoilt now! BAN THE INTERNET
(I helped save b3ta! wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:22, archived)
# that thrill never goes away
boobs on mainstream telly are far more erotic than cyber ones.
(I helped save b3ta! god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:23, archived)
# Indeed
I'd rather a fleeting glimpse than a gynocologists view
(I helped save b3ta! wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:27, archived)
# hahaha
I used to watch eurotrash on a 2.6 inch hand-held tv. Sadly, I woke up one morning to breakfast in bed, with no pants on, a tissue next to my pillow, and the tv beside me... my dad didn't say much for a while after that.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:26, archived)
# ha ha ha eurotrash for the win!
My wanks were always spoiled by them giving them fit ladies gruff northern voices though
(I helped save b3ta! wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:33, archived)
# Very much agreed
I had a mouldy old snail-track covered picture of some porn bloke in my bedroom for years before I bought my first porn mag at age 21
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:15, archived)
# DIXON
You well?
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:18, archived)
# HEY LS! :D
Aye, holding up ta :) Thanks for your note :)

I left a reply to all in the calendar thread. I won't be able to make it :(
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:22, archived)
# that's a damn shame
Still, shouldn't risk it i guess.

Happy healing; We'll drink to you!
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:24, archived)
# this sucks large bums
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:25, archived)
# I am most upset about it :(
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:29, archived)
# \O/
doesnt feel so alone in germany while everyone else is at the bash.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:30, archived)
# :) Solidarität!
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:32, archived)
# I used to have to psyche myself up for ages before I could brave the newsagents!
And time it, so as few people as possible could see what a pervert I was
(I helped save b3ta! wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:18, archived)
# Aye, but at least then you were seen as a "normal" pervert
The shame and embarrassment I went through just to buy that fucking black and white "big half naked muscley man cradling a baby" poster from Athena in 1988.
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:21, archived)
# It would have been less embarassing
if you'd waited till you got home until you started wanking
(I helped save b3ta! wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:29, archived)
# pffft
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 30 May 2008, 13:03, archived)
# or a copy of razzle hidden in a bush
ah, such heady thrills.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:24, archived)
# When i was about ten me and my mate found a stash of his dads pornos he was chucking out
70's shit, man perms and stuff. No actual penetration but it had couples and was fairly hardcore for the time, with semi cocks and vag close ups.

We thought it was a great idea to get the centre page spreads and selotape them between the two bars of our bikes, cycling round the town like mobile porno billboards.

Parents weren't best pleased........
(I helped save b3ta! wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:39, archived)
# i think it's quite good, certainly better than the edited version
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:09, archived)
# hehe
...
(FloydPink has a full robot chubby..., Fri 30 May 2008, 12:10, archived)
# I wouldn't say that was pr0n.
The rape scene is absolutely horrific. She's not even dead, FFS - it's barbaric.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:11, archived)
# I haven't seen it but I have seen Irreversable.
What exactly is the point of a film where the entire reason for it is a rape scene?
(I helped save b3ta! WHTRZ Corp dosen't like the sound of Rupert watching porn, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:19, archived)
# Irreversable was a rough film to watch


The rape scene in Baise Moi was justified though.
The films basically a revenge movie so you need something to happen.
(I helped save b3ta! Cerebus Sticky! Sticky! Stick! Stick!, Fri 30 May 2008, 13:25, archived)