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# I smell of Lacto-calamine today....
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 9:50, archived)
# Hahahaha!
poor old lobster chutney!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 9:51, archived)
# Yep...I am normally so careful
It's aaages since I did this not since I was a tiny chutney.
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 9:52, archived)
# Awwww!
*man-hugs REALLY REALLY gently*


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:01, archived)
# aaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
...'can I have my skin back please? It appears to have stuck to you'
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:02, archived)
# no, I'm making it into crisps
I'm making it into crisps*deep-fries*


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:05, archived)
# *readies a range of dips
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:07, archived)
# Chutney!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:08, archived)
# nomnomnomnomnom
gah, now i'm hungry.
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:11, archived)
# why is he pink?
*click*
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Mon 9 Jun 2008, 9:51, archived)
# We had a day of sun in England
Yesterday, it does not happen very often.
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 9:52, archived)
# HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
O RLY
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHA
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Mon 9 Jun 2008, 9:53, archived)
# I see your prime minister was being all fluffly today
... the Today programme (what I listen to) said he's a cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:18, archived)
# Why isn't he wearing pants?


I'm disgusted.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 9:52, archived)
# the lack of genitalia either way
is disturbing
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Mon 9 Jun 2008, 9:53, archived)
# Why do cartoon characters like Porky Pig and Donald Duck wear jackets but no pants?
That's always bothered me a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 9:54, archived)
# perpetual diarrhea
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Mon 9 Jun 2008, 9:55, archived)
# Wouldn't nappies be a better idea, then?
(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 9:56, archived)
# they require changing
and either washing or they are environmentally unfriendly and seriously who wants to wander around with their own shit clinging to their arse?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Mon 9 Jun 2008, 9:58, archived)
# True;
my brain processed 'perpetual' as 'constant'. I need my coffee.
(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:01, archived)
# They're animals
they just let their waste lie where it falls.
Although they still shower, after which they then wear towels...around their waists...
Yeah, I've no idea.
(Brigadier Arthur Charles, Mrs, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:01, archived)
# Yeah, that too.
Donald doesn't wear trousers or pants, but has a towel around his waist when he comes out of the shower. WTF?
(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:01, archived)
# 0.o
So you finally managed to get that bathroom cam installed?
(I helped save b3ta! Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:06, archived)
# birds have no genitals
mereley an orifice from which to spooge.
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:07, archived)
# mm birds custard
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:08, archived)
# nom
You know you've made a really good home made custard when it tastes exactly like one made from birds powder!

I love it. One of those must have cupboard items.
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:12, archived)
# . . . except ducks
that have huge wangs


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:08, archived)
# And their poo and wee is one mixed waste product;
they don't have separate poo and wee pipes like we do, which is why their shit is so runny.
(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:10, archived)
# lolshitoutyourcock
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:11, archived)
# I saw the sun from my window yesterday
as I was indoors, sorting through six months of paperwork.

If I ever see another Blood Service mailing asking me to give blood, it will be too soon.

Edit: Poor Chutney. I recommend going and standing by an open freezer. Bliss!
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 9:54, archived)
# Oh Hai!
hav U evr cnsiderd givin blod? tlk 2 UR lokl blod trnfuson srvce.

kthxbye!
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:01, archived)
# now u can txt ur bld
just txt GIVBLD to 80122
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:07, archived)
# Haha!
Your electronic mailings have no affect on me as I don't have to take it out of the envelope, rip out the plastic window, put the plastic in the normal bin and the envelope in the recycling bin then shred the letter as it contains all my information but I have to first rip it into three as it's too fat to go into the shredder in one go and then put the shreddings in the recycling (repeat 12 times)
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:24, archived)
# you should just burn them all in the garden.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:26, archived)
# No garden
There's a bit too much paper for it to work in a window box.

I'm thinking of getting an allotment for the specific purpose of burning things.
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:31, archived)
# heheh
our recycling doesn't take shredded paper...but it does take the plastic windows

the blood service have stopped mailing me now, perhaps they've decided my blood is too polluted with Jaffa Cake residue

(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:28, archived)
# Y'see this is the weird thing
Why does recycling vary from council to council? What does Watford Council do with green waste that Harrow Council doesn't!? Why do the rules vary?!
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:33, archived)
# I suspect there's some sort of inter-council bartering system going on
perhaps Watford Council can trade green waste in for 'fact-finding' trips to the Caribbean

Slough's bartering currency is fraudulent votes
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:36, archived)
# haha
i feel your pain
(I helped save b3ta! Barry the Time Sprout one of your 5-a-day, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 9:54, archived)
# hehehe poor wee guy
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 9:55, archived)
# aaahhh the ONLY way to make really good toast!
ugh... nasty burns... most unpleasant!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 9:57, archived)
# talking of pink


made the paper pink, no idea why it wasn't


plus I avoided sunburn yesterday, despite a couple of hours' hedge clipping


and woo pic
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:00, archived)
# woo yay for the gay times.

i mean the financial times.

'ning bobs.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:03, archived)
# shh
that's where my daddy works!
(I helped save b3ta! charlie?, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:11, archived)
# at the gay times?
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:12, archived)
# nooo!
*runs away crying*
(I helped save b3ta! charlie?, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:14, archived)
# I like the FT quite a bit
all the other 'papers' are basically just like reading a fucking comic... at leastthe FT tries to pretend it has some credability and integrity.

(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:21, archived)
# tell you what
the gay times is much better than fhm or whatever. I mean, yeah, gayness is quite big in it, but the articles are much better.

(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:19, archived)
# I've never read the Gay Times
because people might think I was gay
and that would be awful
I much prefer Men's Health
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:34, archived)
# what, so people KNOW you're gay :D
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:37, archived)
# yes
I hide my Daily Mail inside it
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:38, archived)
# hahahah
awesome
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:46, archived)
# How's tricks trooper?
I have yet to find you that exceedingly creative job in the tallest building in Edinburgh... but I'm still looking

;)
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:22, archived)
# *slaps shoulder
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:02, archived)
# Yay for shitty Mondays!
(see sig)

'ning all!
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:05, archived)
# did you at least remember to get dressed?
ning
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Mon 9 Jun 2008, 10:23, archived)
# thankfully...
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Mon 9 Jun 2008, 11:21, archived)