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Ahh look at the little worm...why is he frowning?......

Oh no! WAIT! Look out.....

(pedro martinez, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:29, archived)

heh

that is very good.

(

Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:30, archived)

thank you

kind sir/madam/sir-madam

(pedro martinez, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:33, archived)

sir.

definitely sir.

(

Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:37, archived)

"i'm miss fortune-ee-ee
i've just fell off a cliff-io"
or something like that

(

ablufia v0.43 - have your face drawn, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:33, archived)

I love your

charles atlas on your msn site!

(pedro martinez, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:36, archived)

Ken was having an awful day...

and no one had even bothered to call for the helicopter.
quick and dirty i'm afraid and no hummus whatsoever

(

Jobe, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:28, archived)

Look out Ken

Woosome

... is Ken wearing a wrist band? and why is his front cleaner than his back?

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:30, archived)

Ken is wearing a wrist band

because he is at a cow rock festival.

(

MissPrism, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:32, archived)

his favourite thing to do

is roll around in mud. But recently, he's found himself in many life threatening situations. He is just about to go to the swimming pool to wash of the mud, thats what the wristband is for - has to be out of the pool by 3 o'clock.

(

Jobe, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:32, archived)

Actually,

that's a much better reason.

(

MissPrism, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:33, archived)

I like both reasons

my curiosity is satisfied

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:37, archived)

He is a cutandshut cow

The reg number on his wristband won't match his number on the tail inside, trust me.

(

timothycrippins, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:48, archived)

TJ: A boarder made a easy listening version of Aphex Twins Come To Daddy

Who was it?

(

rob, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:31, archived)

dunno

have you heard reverend dan's 'its getting bongo in here'? its ace!

(

Spoon, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:33, archived)

Never mess with Eric Bristow

(veda_queen, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:23, archived)

ahh...

bristo

(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:24, archived)

he really is a nasty evil piece of work ...

(

anno domini hiatus, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:25, archived)

was that Sister Wendy?!

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:26, archived)

Ha!

Dartitis!

(

charliedontsurf, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:33, archived)

HEHEH

I laughed at that, then discovered who did it!

Well done, lyricist!

(

Reckless_Rik, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:35, archived)

evil kitten

(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:22, archived)

evil finger

good kitten

(

Pootle, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:30, archived)

hehehe

nice bloodage!

(

Reckless_Rik, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:37, archived)

ladies and gentlemen, today's potatychop mash

tank it! tank it hard!

edit: woo! thank you magic donkey!

(

baby wet ones, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:21, archived)

can I just say

Your drawing style is both excellent and flawless.

(

Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:22, archived)

yes, yes you can.

can i just say..thank you!

(

baby wet ones, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:23, archived)

i found a flaw

(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:24, archived)

where? where?

(i can tell you where many flaws are.)

(

baby wet ones, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:25, archived)

I'm standing on one

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:28, archived)

wa... wa.... wa....

waaaaaaaaah!

(

jonas is not my name, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:29, archived)

i knew that was coming

(

baby wet ones, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:30, archived)

highthanqu

"...Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honour; which is probably more than she ever did..."

budum-tish

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:33, archived)

That just rocks

Has he tried asking the durecel bunny?

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:23, archived)

super as usual

(

Sunshine Elephant, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:26, archived)

Yay!

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:44, archived)

i like that an awful bloody lot

(iguanaboy, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 16:54, archived)

god damn preverts

(

ablufia v0.43 - have your face drawn, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:19, archived)

You know

I thought exactly the same thing when I read that.

(

HP hasn't been here in aaaaaages, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:20, archived)

don't need the news letter to start me off dreaming about rodents - it is friday after all !
edit: i know they're probably not rodents though - but can't be arsed to check

(

ablufia v0.43 - have your face drawn, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:21, archived)

Moles aren't rodents

/pedant

(

MissPrism, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:22, archived)

please see above

i know you lot - so i covered my back
not with mole jizz, mind

(

ablufia v0.43 - have your face drawn, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:25, archived)

Sorry, I didn't see the edit

Did you know there's a mole that lives up trees?

(

MissPrism, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:30, archived)

there'd

better be a damned good punch line to that - or if it's true i want one !

(

ablufia v0.43 - have your face drawn, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:33, archived)

well, it climbs trees, anyway

Urotrichus talpoides is also active on the surface and occasionally climbs low bushes and trees. In winter this species is often found dead in bird nesting boxes in trees at heights of two to four meters above the ground.

sorry, that was a bit dull.

(

MissPrism, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:39, archived)

yet

interesting.

Tell me more Mole woman...

(

Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:46, archived)

Everything I know about moles,

I learnt from Cromagnon / muppit.
You'll have to ask him.

(

MissPrism, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:52, archived)

ooh

you've just reached 404 posts - what a great number !

(

ablufia v0.43 - have your face drawn, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:34, archived)

One of my cow-orkers

lives at number 404. He's a web developer-type person

Oh, how we laughed!

(

Ptortoise, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:41, archived)

Does he get

any post?

(

Cromagnon Don't waste my motherfucking time!, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 15:07, archived)

oh, yuck

but I suppose it had to be done. In the interests of science and all that.

(

MissPrism, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:20, archived)

You

are not volunteering to 'tug-off' vermin surely?

(

Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:22, archived)

My middle name.....

... is Voletugger.. FACT*

* unverified

(

Lord_Floaty Hooting gladly., Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:25, archived)

Not at all,

but some poor sod of a PhD student is probably doing it out of our taxes.

(

MissPrism, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:27, archived)

hope he's wearing gloves
edit: or she - lets not be sexist now.

(

ablufia v0.43 - have your face drawn, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:30, archived)

That's cute. But it's wrooooooooooooong!!!

SHREWS are the new moles!

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:21, archived)

My first ever jump on a band wagon...

...but I think I'm too late...

(Scribble, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:18, archived)

Are they bumming?

(Dawn Syndrome, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:18, archived)

No they're giving each other

their special boy present!

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:20, archived)

Sex wee?

Or bum gum?

(Dawn Syndrome, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:21, archived)

naaa salty smegma

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:22, archived)

You disgust me.

(Dawn Syndrome, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:22, archived)

This place is a haven

for perverts, Dawn. You need to be a bit careful who you talk to.

(

butchbint, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:24, archived)

You're so good to me.

Ever since I met you my life's been like a vacation.

(Dawn Syndrome, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:26, archived)

The girls on this web-site

need to look after each other. You never know when you might get dragged off into a dark alley by one of these naughty men.

(

butchbint, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:30, archived)

So that's Pootle's chat up technique

;-)

(

thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:31, archived)

don't knock it

it worked

(

Pootle, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:34, archived)

you

charmer

(

butchbint, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:38, archived)

See, I have no luck

when I tried it I ended up being press-ganged onto a Liberian oil-tanker...

(

thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:40, archived)

All those Liberian sailor boys

a dream come true for you, shirley?

(

butchbint, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:44, archived)

[Insert seaman / semen joke here]

(

thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:45, archived)

What have I told you about using the board to groom people?

(

thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:30, archived)

That it's difficult

to cut hair over the internet?

(

butchbint, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:31, archived)

At least you've got some left...

/baldie

(

thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:33, archived)

I just have a very

realistic wig

(

butchbint, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:37, archived)

I disgust me to

want a present?

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:24, archived)

Yes.

But I want one from a shop.

(Dawn Syndrome, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:26, archived)

Well I'm quite friendly with the butcher if that helps

have a chocolate starfish

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:28, archived)

I like it.

Can I have an yacht too?

(Dawn Syndrome, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:32, archived)

yes

His name's brian

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:37, archived)

He doesn't look very sea-worthy.

Your rubbish.

(Dawn Syndrome, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:47, archived)

well he's a yak!

I am inhformed he may be full of sea men though

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:52, archived)

woo

have an ascii kitten

      ^^
\____/®®\
 \____><
 /_ /_

forgot to add:

8.9 on the snigger scale

(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:18, archived)

why thank you!

I understand the lycra suits, but not sure why they need the headgear...

(Scribble, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:22, archived)

Pro-celebrity wanking anyone?

(

HP hasn't been here in aaaaaages, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:18, archived)

please

(

sick_boy, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:19, archived)

all womans

pro celebrity wanking

(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:20, archived)

hahaha

SCHTOP!
Why am I laughing? Am I 8?

That actually made me larf!

(

Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:19, archived)

I'm wanking as I fight this

(

bleepbloop, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:23, archived)

(

matsimpsk, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:09, archived)

Quality

I bet you can hear him opening beercans on the tape.

(

Your Mum, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:12, archived)

Yerrow

LIver

(

Banana, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:12, archived)

Red liver, yellow liver, Red liver, yellow liver, Red liver, yellow liver, Red liver, yellow liver,

Red liver, yellow liver, Red liver, yellow liver, Red liver, yellow liver, Red liver, yellow liver, Red liver, wellow damn!

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:14, archived)

My Gallery

(

Slim has found god. He was down the back of the sofa., Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:04, archived)

exceptional

(

WD-39, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:04, archived)

haha!

brilliant!

(

Kaiser, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:05, archived)

ARRRGGGH!

That is good!

(

Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:05, archived)

Arf!

woo

(Indole Ring, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:05, archived)

HAHAHA FUCKING COOL

SANK YOU

TERRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

(Bernard Manning, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:06, archived)

superb

(

Sunshine Elephant, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:06, archived)

Been done

sorry. No really! Don't look at me like that!!! I didn't mean it! No. No. Noooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhh

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:07, archived)

Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm

(

djol, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:11, archived)

Birthmarks

Allover her body

(smoglane!, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:18, archived)

Arf!

(

splorp ®, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:21, archived)

you're on form

again, again.

(

Pootle, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:12, archived)

That's just genius!

You hear me?

Genius!

(

sick_boy, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:20, archived)

Repost

'cos I never have time for new piccies these days

(

wonko the sane, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:35, archived)

____

(

MadMike, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:59, archived)

*snort*

(

bleepbloop, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:59, archived)

VERY

good

(

WD-39, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:59, archived)

Big up on the bad punnage!

Makes a change from those fucking Mr Men books.

(

Bad Horsey Bring back Dr. Ubes Rub!, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:00, archived)

I don't get it.

Yer complete set o' bastards, yer.

(Dawn Syndrome, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:02, archived)

HA!

YOU ARE ALGOYO AND I CLAIM MY £5!

(

Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:21, archived)

You have to be the slowest dimwitted cutiepie on the face of this board.

Do you want me to put you into showbusiness?

(Dawn Syndrome, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:33, archived)

arf

(

StickFigureNinja is worried he may be on the list, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:03, archived)

now that is funny

(

Pootle, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:04, archived)

fucking superb!

(

Slim has found god. He was down the back of the sofa., Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:04, archived)

those dirty Russian's

(pappa laz, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:57, archived)

HA HA HA HA

HA

Pedant's corner: "Russian's" is a possessive...

(

Bad Horsey Bring back Dr. Ubes Rub!, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:01, archived)

Yes they are.

Especially of Levis and vodka.

(

0% Interest Expand Reply Retweet Favorite More, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:02, archived)

There's a great book out there called

"Tips for Writer's"

With such great advice as:
"By becoming a professional writer you agree to never spilt the infinitve, to lead the bull by the hand and never mix metaphors"

(

Cadmus has teh uplikn coeds at, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:04, archived)

Christ

I must get a copy next time I'm out shopping for CD's, DVD's and doner kebabs

(

Bad Horsey Bring back Dr. Ubes Rub!, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:06, archived)

those could be used for my new GrammarPolice range...

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:07, archived)

hmmm...

would that not actually be, "pedants' corner"?

(nugchuts, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:13, archived)

repost

part1 part3 part4 part5

(

StickFigureNinja is worried he may be on the list, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:03, archived)

The hazards of group photography

(Indole Ring, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:57, archived)

A regrettable special offer. Well, I regret it.

(buboboy, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:54, archived)

I saw her in a cocktail bar in London a few months ago.

She has nice skin.

(

pxyzyzygy, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:56, archived)

i saw her in Lime Street station one night last year.

I jumped out of mine.

(buboboy, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:57, archived)

was she working

as a waitress?

(

StickFigureNinja is worried he may be on the list, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:58, archived)

And don't forget

it's John who put it where it was then.
And he could put it back there too.

(buboboy, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:59, archived)

cos she drinks...

(

WD-39, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:58, archived)

Ha!

That's class!

(

pxyzyzygy, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:00, archived)

eww

...

(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:00, archived)

test

(

null and void, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:13, archived)

icles

(

WD-39, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:20, archived)

Is she

sniffing her finger?

(

sick_boy, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:59, archived)

Edwina self administers herself a dirty sanchez

to stimulate herself before a meeting.

didn't you know?

(

bleepbloop, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:01, archived)

You know what

It's high time the FAQ was updated. Newcomers are going to have a problem figuring out the meanings of glasscock, spazz, mindpiss, NSFW etc.

(

Bad Horsey Bring back Dr. Ubes Rub!, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:52, archived)

it's all part of the learning

process

(

stevierar, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:53, archived)

wtf

is mindpiss?

(RaiLord, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:53, archived)

its when

two or more people get the same idea at the same time and it was not expected.

I pissed in thier mind.....

(

jiva nearly always up for a game of scrabble, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:54, archived)

like that

...

(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:54, archived)

or mindcontrol

in general.

(

bananaman, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:54, archived)

Are you controlling MY mind?

I feel as if I'm being operated by aliens.

(Dawn Syndrome, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:58, archived)

when two people

post the same-ish thing at the same time

kinda like telepathy

(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:54, archived)

miiiiiiiiiiiind

pissoiry ^^^^ example

(Murun Buchstansangur's hairpiece, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:56, archived)

home of the

baguette.

(

bananaman, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:54, archived)

see below

(

StickFigureNinja is worried he may be on the list, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:54, archived)

see

above

NOOO!
TOO MUCH MIND PISS!!

(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:54, archived)

wtf

is mindpiss?

(

StickFigureNinja is worried he may be on the list, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:54, archived)

hahahahahahaha

I see what you did there!

(

Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:55, archived)

hahahahahaha

(

sick_boy, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:55, archived)

>snort<

Arf and double arf

(

Bad Horsey Bring back Dr. Ubes Rub!, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:56, archived)

if they ponder publically

we'll direct them to flibz' dictionary

(

Sunshine Elephant, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:54, archived)

It's not just the terminology

There's no pirates in it.

And no warnings about goatse.

(

Bad Horsey Bring back Dr. Ubes Rub!, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:55, archived)

minor karmic realignment

kittens

(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:02, archived)

something like this?

www.fark.com/farq/farkisms.shtml

(

Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:55, archived)

you're the person to ask.
When do Fark have their photoshop contests?

(

Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:55, archived)

all the time

they come and go like farts in phone booths

joining totalfark gets you a head-start on most of them

(

Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:57, archived)

I think

it was tweaked a little not so long ago. I'm sure if you suggest something specific it will be taken into consideration...

well volunteered ;)

(

rogan, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:57, archived)

These are

Just fad words which will pass with time.

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 13:58, archived)

I could have sworn

that I just said something...

(

Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:11, archived)

shhh!

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 1 Aug 2003, 14:18, archived)

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