Can't see
This link in here but it has some of the best

www.completeshite.com/davethewave-adverts/index.htm
(smallgod33, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 18:05, Reply)

Best:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LvLn9PWln8

Worst:
All shampoo ads
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 18:04, 2 replies)

As mentioned below
Ads where blokes are shit at stuff and women are great.

Mainly - The one for some food stuff with the woman on the phone as her chap cooks. She sounds all incredulous about his cooking saying things like 'a blend of herbs and spices' to her mate.
Why didn't the bloke just shove her dinner up her arse? Bitch.

Also - Running at the moment. Chap sitting in the garden having a nice time. Mrs comes out and says 'garden's looking a bit shit love, sort it out' and fucks off again. He does as asked and then she takes the piss out of his baldy head. Whore!

Ad people - Men are not helpless, they can do stuff like cooking and washing.

Cocks
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 15 Apr 2010, 18:03, 9 replies)

Cadbury's Wispa Gold
I love Windsor Davies.
It is blindingly apparent why here;
www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFlRmrVvk24
(MessFX, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 18:02, 1 reply)

I know it says TV
but if anyone has a free Spotify account, the goddamn cunting Shockwaves talking mirror adverts have to be the most irritating interruptions I've ever had the misfortune to hear. For those lucky enough not to have experienced these abominations, the script runs something like: *adopt Scottish, camp, cockney or other irritating accent* "Hey you, this is the Shockwaves talking mirror, inside your computer! Your hair's a mess! Click our bollocks logo to win some shit or other, and send us a picture of your hair."

They must have bought up every available slot because for four weeks, that was all I heard...by the end of it I was going slightly spare. They were replaced by adverts featuring house music trying to convince me to be come a policeman. Fuck's sake.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 18:01, 7 replies)

EVERYONE IS WRONG.
The best TV ad of all time, which shall never be beaten, is:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5C5hamvk7ZA&feature=related
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 18:00, 4 replies)

If you'd like to help put a stop to some advertising schlock, see here:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR2pDORss1c
wherein AT&T has created a number of false accounts for the purpose of leaving such ball-licking comments as:

------------------------------------------------
-Such a great commercial. The announcer sounds so honest. I believe him.

-I love this commercial because of the ending how it shows the child side of all of these gadgets and how they really bring us back to our childish sides. I love this commercial!

-I love this commercial. It does kinda remind you of how blissful childhood could be. and that the child doesn't leave you, it's still inside.

-Oh god, it's so beautiful! Simplicity really touches people.

-Yay! Yay! Yay! Anything IS possible. Oh, what fond memories I have of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. One of my favorites. So thrilled to see AT&T using this piece in this spirit. Pure Imagination -- pure feel-good. ;)
------------------------------------------------

They've constructed the accounts to seem as random as possible - nonsensical favorites interleaved with words of AT&T praise. The practice of posing as a member of the public while subversively advertising through opinion and testimony is an illegal practice in the UK and US, falling under the false advertising act.

Now matter how much you might like their service, they shouldn't be allowed to manipulate public opinion illegally and generally contribute to the idiocy of the world.

Please, I ask that you 'thumbs down' this video.
( Digeridude Lord Wellington's Beef Trapeze, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:58, 6 replies)

The best one
has to be the Reebok ' Belly gonna get ya' advert

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHlvKQwZFSI&feature=related

The motorbike bit's classic
(tom.joad, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:57, Reply)

Werthers Originals
Every time they got to the point when you hear him say "Now I'm the grandfather....." I always had this mental picture of Vic Reeves frigging his trouser legs like a trooper.

I really don't know why.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:54, 1 reply)

The one on the tube
'You're right, destruction of climate change is a long way away. About 5,000 miles'.

Also, I grew to hate the Lynx caveman advert, where women are putting rocks in their bras to kill the dino. The real one, not the cartoon.
(Iggy Pop's Teeth, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:54, Reply)

Carling Black Label...
has been mentioned a couple of times, but the stand out one that I remember has to be the Dambusters one... still remember it to this day..

www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVSBtivbUs4

Brilliant.
(Shadayim ..............., Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:47, 2 replies)

Charity adverts
"Little Abooboo lives in a village where there is no water. Every morning she has to cycle 12 miles to the nearest well on a bike which has only one working tyre, while balancing a bucket around her neck. For just £1.50 you too can download the video, it's fucking amazing!"

May not be entirely accurate....
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:46, 2 replies)

I work in an advertising agency (don't hit me, I mostly do charities)
but the people at the next desk over do TV adverts, specifically for Gaviscon. They play prospective ads over and over and don't have the good grace to use headphones....If I hear "What a feeeeelin'!" one more cunting time, I'm going to go postal.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:45, 3 replies)

Sorry if bindun
The BS climate change ad's where the Dad is reading his little girl a bed time story, about the nightmarish world she would have to grow up in, presumably if she forgot to turn off light switches or watched TV for too long. I haven't watched it before I wrote this post but I’m sure she asks how her dog would cope with the changes and it cuts to her dog drowning :\

What a load of scaremongering bullshit!! No doubt out there to soften us up a little, for some new green taxes they want to bring in....cuntz
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:44, 2 replies)

Ah yes.
I like that advert where the bloke is an idiot who couldn’t find his own arse with both hands, and the woman is brilliant at everything. I can’t remember what it’s for?
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:43, 6 replies)

Dunno what it is with the gingers...
...but the redhead in the white dress in the magnet kitchen ad, and her spiritual predecessor, AOL's Connie have each been enough to send me into a masturbatory frenzy with every viewing...

Worrying is that there's 10 years between those ads, and I wasn't even inexperienced with 'the pleasures of the palm' when Connie was adding fuel to my fire... Perhaps I need to have a little lie down now...?!?
(yellowperil Is shirking from home, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:42, Reply)

Look at these stains!
Blood! Sweat! Grass stains!

Call our professional divorce lawyers for a quick and painless service.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:42, Reply)

a couple of current contenders
Ignoring the usual suspects if you will there are a couple of current adds that fall either side of the fence for me.

The good.

The new head and shoulders ad with the fifties pin up style nurses. Dear god that add gives me the raging horn, won't make me by the shampoo of course (what with the skin head and all) but still top marks for sexy add without the half naked bird in a shower trope.

The bad

All the recent glade adds, look its an air fresher. No amount of timer or motion sensor is going to make it sexy or interesting and as for "its from glade you know" who gives a flying dark, brand awareness is not a key decision in things purchased to mask the smell of my morning dump. Also that smug cow needs a serious smash in the face with a pan.
( Rhubarb_Triangle, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:41, 1 reply)

Choco Party



That is all.
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:38, Reply)

DFS
do they honestly think that their continuous sales are going to convince people that they're really going to get a suite cheaper?

still, that "bring on the trumpets!" ad had me laughing every time i saw it.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:37, 2 replies)

FUCKING LAVA, BITCHES!
I saw an advert the other day that said, basically, "Some bacteria can live in LAVA! Fucking LAVA! Can your kitchen cleaning spray kill bacteria that live in LAVA? Then you need to buy OUR kitchen cleaning spray!" followed by the same "kills 99.9% of bacteria" claim that every kitchen cleaning spray since 1950 has made, and suspiciously no mention of specific lava-dwelling varieties.

Bacteria than live in lava aren't going to be able to live in me. Or, indeed, my kitchen. There isn't any lava in my kitchen anyway. If there was, I strongly suspect that the presence of bacteria in this lava wouldn't be my main concern. And even if there WAS lava in my kitchen, AND I was worried about bacteria that might be living in it, Marigolds don't come in asbestos so there's fuck all I could do about it anyway, cleaning spray or no cleaning spray.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:37, 5 replies)

Cosmetics advertising...
I personally take issue with certain mascara adverts. Specifically, the ones that not only lie to you, but are legally obliged to display a banner message illustrating that they are indeed talking out of their grease smeared animal testing shitholes.

"Look at our product - merely rub a bit of this black gunky shit into your eyelid hair using a glorified miniture bog brush (or as we prefer, an enhancing applicator using our new patented Enviro-LashLift-Blindotron technology), and before you know it you'll have eyelashes like black men's cocks hanging down over your chin".

Banner on screen: "Effect shown achieved in post production". A brief translation of this equates to: "This ladies eyelashes have been Photoshopically enhanced after the fact to the point where they make the animation effects used in Avatar look like they were drawn by Daniel Day Lewis in My Left Foot."

Basically, before I added 3 paragraphs of dribbling hyperbole to it, these people are allowed to lie directly to the consumer provided they then tell them that they're lying in a barely visible screen flash. What next?

"Try our new babyfood, it's great and healthy! (babyfood actually not great or healthy and mostly made of sharpened bits of Polonium drenched in anthrax)"

Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Maybelline! Maybe we've had a team of artists working on it for 4 months straight because she's actually a crackhead with a face like a bulldog chewing a piss soaked wasp and skin tone that would make a leprous crocodile tut and pass the E45.
(NoveltyCondomHead Clanks Wams., Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:36, 2 replies)

I'm just waiting for someone
to mention that Internet company that'll buy all motor vehicles.

I can't remember the company name, but I'm sure SOMEONE will mention them over the course of the week.

I just can't believe they've not been posted already.

They have a catchy jingle if that helps at all.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:33, 9 replies)

Channel 5 Weather, sponsored by Benecol
"We love talking about the weather, so lets start talking about cholesterol"

WHAT?????
(Lionel Tiger, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:32, Reply)

Thinking about it
Shouldn't the world be Orange by now?

I mean, we are in the future.
( Pretender, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:27, 2 replies)

TV Channel adverts - for there own shows but stuffed down your NECK!
Living do this. Channel 5 too. Watch more than 2 or 3 shows - not even on the same night - and you're bombarded with "LOOK AT THIS, IT'S THE NEXT GREAT AMERICAN IMPORT ON OUR CHANNEL!" constantly the same advert, at the same time, before during and after the show. aaarrGGhh.. i just want to enjoy my bit of CSI with my bow-legged friend. i don't care you've also got some ancient season of 'House'. Not only that, they splice them together with so many different inserts the screen flashes like some Japaneese Anim cartoon and makes u want to flid-out!

ppfft.
(TheManofScience, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:27, Reply)

Since it's the season
for every MP and wannabe MP in the land to talk to everyone. A while back a media firm did a set of adverts for every political party as a bit of a spoof.

Sadly, Google isn't turning anything up for me. Does a random b3ta member remember them/can link?

Bonus points if you somehow get them onto a TV channel, even late night rubbish ones.
(g256, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:26, Reply)

A charity ad seen on the New York subway:
"I bet you're sick of seeing pictures of dying children every Christmas

...

So are we. Give generously this Christmas."

Wasn't in your face, just a beautiful and simple message. I then bought an Xbox 360.

EDIT: Okay, I've reread the question and it says TV adverts, so I'll just pretend I saw this on the telly.
( Pretender, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:21, Reply)

The power of advertising.
On the 3 occasions I've ever needed to 'Shake n Vac' the carpet I've been unable to complete the task without bursting into the 'Shake n Vac' song.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:20, 1 reply)